


I should be over all the butterflies (I'm into you)

by Coraleeveritas



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Romance, Slow Build, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:12:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 113,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coraleeveritas/pseuds/Coraleeveritas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime and Brienne fence, party and dance around their feelings for each other. For a while.</p><p>Mature rating for sex in certain chapters starting in 13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I should be over all the butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the very first time I've written anything for this pairing (or in this universe) but I found once I started I couldn't stop. This is just a tester to see if I'm on the right track, and there will hopefully be a lot more to come. Including a lot with Cersei, Tyrion, Sansa and Margaery.
> 
> Obviously anything you recognise isn't mine, I'm just borrowing the characters for fluffy times. The title is from Paramore's Still Into You.
> 
> This is un-beta'd so there may be a few mistakes, but I thought I'd put it up before I change it again!

Jaime Lannister couldn't remember the last time he had felt so nervous for no good reason. In fact it was possible he had never felt this way before in his entire life. Two state championships and multiple award ceremonies hadn't prepared him for the sweaty palms and slight sick feeling he was experiencing as he carefully drove to pick up his date for the Casterly House party. Carefully because even months after his hand had been crushed by the psychotic Vargo Hoat, his arm was still in a sling and he shouldn't really be driving. He had promised his brother Tyrion that he would just be going around the corner, who replied that it may be safer for everyone if Jaime walked instead.

Although he didn’t consider himself a great thinker, his charm rested in a quick word or easy joke, he supposed 'date' wasn't really the correct phrasing for tonight’s youthful exploit. He'd be a liar though if he admitted that he hadn't enjoyed watching the blush creep across his former fencing partner's face as he casually mentioned his return to the social world and how she really had to get out more. The last time anyone had seen Brienne at a party was Halloween and look how brilliantly that turned out, he'd joked darkly, pushing his sling into her face. She had pushed it away, almost too gently he remembered, but it took more than a few well placed barbs to get her to finally say yes. He hated to admit it but she was one of the only friends he had these days who didn't share his last name. Though there was no one else that he would want at his back should things go to hell.

He'd been sort of adopted by his little brother’s band of misfits since his accident had prevented him from playing any of the sports he enjoyed before. Tyrion had been surprisingly good natured about the entire thing and actually enjoyed having his big brother around, though Bronn and Shae on the other hand barely tolerated him. In all honesty he would have preferred to have spent more time with Brienne, but she had junior fencing champions to train and actual friends to hang out with. He'd been to the gym a couple of times to watch her sessions, hidden in the back of the viewing gallery so not to provide any kind of distraction. She had a couple of pupils who could go a long way he thought, Arya Stark and Pod Payne to name two, and his bound hand itched to get out onto the floor and show them all how it was done. He could have been Olympic bound, he thought with longing, wondering if Hoat had known that particular titbit before he ruined his chance at glory.

Jaime shook his head, equal parts frustration and angst, as he tried to clear his thoughts. It wasn't everyday that he got a second chance to re-enter the highest flying social circle at Kings College. Despite the hell of the last few months as a cripple and social pariah, he was surprised to find himself considering skipping the celebration and inevitable pity party altogether. But that would mean standing up the giant blonde girl he'd come to rely on after the incident with Hoat. The thought of the repercussions from that chilled him more than all the pity in the world could. It could have been because Brienne could have beaten him into a pulp but he wasn't sure that was the heart of the matter.

As he turned the corner onto her street, Brienne's large frame was unmistakable as she leaned against the flaking paint of the fence surrounding her college home. Jaime's breath stuttered slightly as he realised she wasn't in her normal t-shirt and jeans combo and the change was not unpleasant. Her roommates Sansa Stark and Margaery Tyrell, whom she'd met in self defence classes during freshmen year and who had been trying for the better part of a semester to glam her up, must have dressed her for the night. The two girls couldn't make Brienne look beautiful, no amount of makeup and fashion advice could take away her broad shoulders and blotchy freckles, but whatever they had done made her look statuesque. Amazonian even came to mind in an approving sort of tone.

The blue dress the girls had found seemed to imply slight curves where he'd been sure there were none, although Jaime couldn't be too sure as the tall girl was hugging her battered leather jacket around her despite the warm evening. However the main attraction seemed to be the miniature skirt which drew Jaime's eyes to a vast expanse of toned naked flesh beneath it. Brienne looked uncomfortable pulling and flicking at the tiny skirt and Jaime offered silent praise to the Stark and Tyrell girls as he pulled up to the curb beside the blonde, his head already filled with wise cracks. His earlier nerves now thankfully silenced by the prospect of Brienne's likely reactions.

As he leaned over to try and open the passenger side door for her, she frowned taking one look at his jacket draped over the sling on his damaged right arm.

"No", she said in way of greeting, determined arms crossed over her chest, "There's no way you're driving tonight. I thought I had told Tyrion...." she trailed off and took a deep breath, as if weighing her options, "Give me the keys."

Jaime gave her his best grin, the one that he knew had made at least one girl weak in the knees "Good evening to you too", he responded nonchalantly, running his good hand through his golden hair.

"I tell you what, I'll let you drive if you promise it won't be morning by the time we get to the party."

Brienne wasn't fazed by the smile or his challenge, "I'm being utterly serious Jaime”, his name sounding strange coming from her lips. It wasn’t too long ago he had to correct her every time she addressed him as Lannister.

“If you want me in that car, the only way it's going to happen is if I'm driving. I'm not letting you endanger the lives of everyone on the road tonight because you're too arrogant to hand over the wheel", she continued; resolve clear across her mismatched features.

Her eyes blazing, Jaime decided to push her just a little further, consciously delaying his arrival at yet another one of his step-sister’s parties.

"And what about my safety?" he purred, deep down knowing she was right but not ready to concede just yet.

"You know very well how I feel about your safety", Brienne countered fiercely "But there's only so many times I can stop you before you do something stupid. Now get out."

If there was something Brienne could do without any prodding, it was stand her ground. She held onto her moral code like a kid with a comfort blanket so if she didn't think something was right, she wasn't going to do it. Or even let him do it, Jaime thought darkly. Despite being technically an adult Brienne still saw the world in black and white, although he had decided shortly after they had first met that her idea weren't necessarily a bad thing. She was definitely infuriating, but there were worse things that being infuriated by your friends. Besides he always thought he needed a better conscience.

If looks could kill Jaime would be dead ten times over from the look Brienne was sending him in that second.

"Ok, ok", he replied, glancing up at her and wondering, not for the first time how such an unattractive woman had ended up with chunks of sapphires for eyes. "No need to get all worked up. I'm getting out."

At that Brienne stomped over to his side of the car and waited impatiently for him to move, tapping out a rhythm with her foot.

"I might need a little help here", he grimaced seconds later, all poise lost, as he realised he couldn't make it out of the car easily with only one functioning arm. Brienne huffed and sent him a look that clearly said 'I told you so' before offering him her hand. Pulling him up carefully so not to jar his damaged side, Jaime misjudged the distance to the curb and overbalanced straight into the tall blonde. Instinctively she reached forward for the car to prevent them both from falling and instinctively Jaime threw his left arm around her waist, his head burying into her neck.

He could almost feel her pulse begin to quicken where his jaw pressed to her neck, surprised by his closeness. Everywhere he was connected to felt warm and toned and there was a profound feeling of safety in her arms.

His breath gently rattled her short hair as he lifted his head to hers and whispered his thanks straight into her ear, unsurprised at how breathless he sounded.

Brienne may not have been any kind of great beauty but pinned to her in that moment, his own body was definitely starting to react. As was hers Jaime realised, as his warm breath sent a shiver of goosebumps over her exposed skin. She turned her head slightly to look at him, blue eyes ablaze, and pushed herself off the car.

"Keys", Brienne demanded, breath all but caught as Jaime still searched for his.

Giving himself a second to compose himself, he reached into his pocket and dangled the keys above her outstretched hand.

“So are we going to this party or not?”


	2. Chapter Two: And to your favorite song (we sang along to the start of forever)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne drives, Jaime compliments, Brienne remembers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read and commented on the first chapter. All your kinds words made my day yesterday
> 
> So here's chapter two, quicker than I originally expected but this was suprisingly easy to write. Chapter three may take a little longer but should be up in a week or so.
> 
> Chapter title is again from Paramore's Still Into You

It had been too easy, Brienne Tarth thought, as Jaime Lannister had dropped the keys to his car into her open palm. Far too easy to persuade him into letting her drive.

Wondering what the punch line to this particular joke would be, she watched as he took up his position in the passenger seat. For a second she thought he was going to sit in the back and have her drive him around like a chauffeur, or a police officer. The idea coloured her face with amusement as maybe restrained, Jaime would finally allow her a second to hear herself think. It was no secret that she had thought about a career in law enforcement after college, and rumour had it Jaime Lannister had spent more than his fair share in the back of a police car. But she paid little attention to rumours, mainly because there had been too many nasty ones started about her in the past. And that wasn't even taking into account that one circling the campus regarding Jaime and his step-sister.

Brienne shook off a wave of pity at the small minds of coeds and joined her friend in the car. Yanking her skirt down, not for the first time that night, she felt the custom Italian leather mould to her back and thighs as she shifted in order to get comfortable. She eventually realised that her legs were much too long to drive well with the chair in it's current state and began searching for the release button.

"Wait!” Jaime exclaimed as she began to fiddle with the seat's settings, her legs becoming more and more uncomfortably constricted in their current position.

"What now?" she asked, clicking the seat back and stretching slightly, flashing Jaime far more thigh than she had originally intended as her skirt fought against her movement.

Jaime opened his mouth but before words came out he looked down, swallowed hard and stopped. Brienne froze, wary of the predatory glint in his eyes. She felt like a rabbit in a trap suddenly, mesmerised by him, adrenaline flooding her veins.

He licked his lips before he spoke, "You've ruined my settings."

"It's just a chair", she pointed out reasonably, fighting off the shiver that arose from his delicate movement "It'll take two seconds to fix."

"Just don't touch the radio", Jaime warned with a slight growl, sending an unfamiliar swooping feeling to her stomach.

She looked at him as she started the engine, curious to hear whatever he had his stereo tuned to and to find out what exactly had produced that growl. Though he had turned his head away from her as soon as he had stopped talking so she couldn't judge a reaction. _Probably just coming down from a pain pill_ , she thought, so left it alone.

Instead she just prompted, "Seat belt", as she manoeuvred the car out of her street and into the campus grounds. Jaime had growled again at that, and she decided she rather liked the odd feeling it produced inside of her.

They were about a mile down the road before a rare moment of recklessness blazed through her mind. She wasn't sure if it was because she wanted to work out what was off about Jaime tonight, or if she wanted to wind him up a little more. He really was a bad influence on her. Brienne could almost hear Margaery's earlier comment come back to her as she had helped her friend dress for the party, "You know you're a bit too good to be true. So who better to corrupt you than the great Jaime Lannister?"

Brienne had blushed as Margaery laughed and dusted bronzer across her cheeks, the colour doing nothing to disguise or emphasise Brienne's wide mouth, crooked nose and freckles. She sometimes swore Margaery had psychic powers as her foresight and persuasion skills were second to none. They had to be, Brienne thought, otherwise she wouldn't have been going to a Lannister organised party on the same night her favourite War of The Roses documentary was showing, in a dress that seemed to be rapidly shrinking up her legs. Brienne may not have minded spending her free time with Jaime, or Tyrion if she was being honest, but any time spent with Cersei was an altogether different matter.

Reaching to the radio dial Brienne twisted it carefully on, Jaime still had his nose to the window so couldn't have noticed her movement until it was too late. Bracing herself for something obscure or embarrassing, she let out a soft breath in exclamation as she recognised a familiar dance beat.

"Rihanna?" she asked, surprise scrunching up her face.

"Hell yeah Rihanna", Jaime turned to her, mouth set in challenge but green eyes sparkling with amusement. Though Brienne noticed that the earlier glint was now all but gone.

Brienne didn't know what came over her but in that moment, faced with his seriousness and too much tension in the air, she couldn't hold back her laughter anymore.

To Jaime's credit he only looked put out for half a second. "Next time I'm driving you and laughing at your musical choices", he grumbled.

Brienne laughed harder, trying to keep her eyes firmly on the road, "You're welcome to", she told him after a second, "But I doubt you'll recognise most of it."

"Try me", Jaime had responded as a tear of mirth ran down Brienne's right cheek, taking a clump of mascara with it.

Her laughter subsiding, she changed topic slightly, Rihanna still singing about finding love.

"You know Margaery and Sansa have been friends since the cradle right?” she asked Jaime.

Waiting for his nod of approval Brienne continued, "Well Margaery got this terrible flu last semester and ended up in bed for a week. It wasn't really contagious or anything, so thankfully Sansa and I escaped unscathed." Brienne paused as she waited patiently to turn up to the Casterly House driveway. "But then Margaery's Gran turned up and we had three days of torture. I spent most of the time at the gym, but on the second day Sansa turned up waving concert tickets at me. Apparently since Margaery was too sickto go, I was her second choice to go and see Rihanna with her", Brienne smiled across at Jaime's incredulous expression.

"I know. Anyway it wasn't too bad, expect for all the screaming. But I really ended up liking that song", she pointed to the radio, slightly out of breath due to it being possibly the longest speech she had ever made to Jaime. Though it definitely was the longest period of time since they met that he had just sat and listened to her.

Brienne swore she saw a slight flush appear along Jaime's cheekbones as she glanced across. _Lannister red,_ she thought wistfully, as he ran a hand through his hair mumbling something that sounded to Brienne's ears like he was already aware of what she liked. She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate, desperately searching her mind for a time when he could have picked up that particular piece of information. And why, if he already knew, he would have one of her favourite songs set up for that night. A small part of her wondered if the next song would also be something she had on her most played list, or if the whole thing was a coincidence. Jaime didn't say anything though, just sat in the silence for a second before smiling.

"We should sing", he grinned, like if it was the best idea he had ever come up with. _Clearly_ , she thought, _he'd never heard her sing on match days._

"No, we shouldn't. We're nearly there anyway", Brienne gestured at the trees and the house in the distance.

Jaime either didn't hear her, or chose to simply ignore her, as he burst out in song. Brienne smiled as she quickly realised he really was no better than her. She sighed, knowing that she was fighting a loosing battle, and joined in.

They arrived at the party, singing at the top of their lungs, Rihanna blasting out the windows and pulled up behind a purring silver Audi. Waiting for the valet service to get to them Brienne thought that certain jokes must have have had some truth behind them, maybe Tywin Lannister really did shit gold.

"So", Jaime started, "I guess we're here then."

Brienne thought he sounded a little nervous, and really began to worry about his state of mind. This was his family's event after all, but since he'd been acting so depressed lately she was starting to wonder if it wouldn't have been a better idea just to stay home tonight. "If you didn't want to come you could have just told me", she started, turning off the engine and sliding around to look at him head on. "You know I wouldn't have minded." Brienne let out a short sharp laugh before continuing, "It would have been preferable before Sansa and Margaery decided I needed a makeover but we can still turn around and get a burger or something." She stopped suddenly as if her mouth had been way ahead of her brain, because she hadn't meant to ask Jaime out, even if he had started it by inviting her along to a party.

"Besides", she continued as her cheeks reddened, "I don't very much appreciate being treated like an art project for every party. At least being Joan of Arc for Halloween was interesting, being dressed like this seems like a waste of time."

Jaime nodded almost absentmindedly, but then he said something completely unexpected, "But then I would have missed out on seeing you dressed as an actual girl", He gestured at her chest and legs, aiming for sincerity and failing, "And I wouldn't have missed that for anything."

Brienne flushed hotter and shook her head, not unaffectionately, wondering if that had been a compliment and how exactly she had arrived at the point where she was receiving compliments on her appearance from Jaime Lannister.

It wasn't that long ago they had been coming to almost physical blows in fencing club.

                                                                             ********************************

Brienne had been assigned to Jaime Lannister during the second week of sophomore year, after he had failed to turn up on time for a scheduled fencing club practice session. She had arrived at the gym ten minutes before everyone else, but had skipped the club social the previous night where it was quickly made apparent had been a session where the members had been paired up. She would have gone, Brienne justified, if she hadn't been engrossed in a fascinating programme about The Spanish Armada that was completely relevant to her European History class and lost track of time. It had been 11pm before she realised she'd completely missed the event, and as her roommates had fallen through the front door giggling, Brienne had called it a night.

During her freshman year she had no problems being paired up with Gregor Clegane, a senior no one much liked as he was prone to bouts of violence and didn't have much to say during practice, which had been perfect in a way for Brienne as she didn't have much to say either. So for a year she had simply shown up to the twice weekly evening sessions to work on her footwork and had exchanged moves with Clegane in near silence. He may have been a monster off the mat, but on it he was a good fighter and generally a fair one at that. It was no surprise to Brienne that the second point was far more important to her than the first. 

Jaime Lannister on the other hand was like a walking smirking noise machine. Even massively hungover during their first session he'd managed to piss her off in minutes by insulting pretty much everything about her. _God damn it,_ she thought as she easily parried his sloppy first lunge, _he seriously needed an internal filter. Or at least a sensitivity index._

As Brienne wasn't blind, she realised that he was obviously handsome. He could have even been described as pretty, if all his golden blond hair and laughing emerald eyes were really taken into account. Though in that moment he was mostly laughing at her as they must have looked ridiculous together. No one in their right mind would have called her pretty unless it was the punch line of some ridiculous joke , and she had heard a lot of them over the years. Brienne knew she was too tall, taller even than golden boy Jaime Lannister, too broad in the shoulders and too narrow in the hips for that word to ever be applied to her. Her torso was all muscle rather than curves and breasts, and it hadn't taken him too long to comment on that.

"I thought this was a men's fencing club", he spat at her with distaste after they removed their masks, "If I'd known I'd be fighting a wench I would have stayed in bed."

 _Well at least he was listening in European history,_ Brienne thought, even if the times she had passed the lecture theatre on her way across campus it looked like he was using the Monday morning session for sleeping _._ She would have rather been called Ser or even at a push, My Lady, but that courtesy would have been too much to ask from a Lannister.

"We practice equal opportunities now", she countered, gesturing at two of their newer female recruits; a petite silver haired blonde facing off against a honey toned brunette. Brienne had personally brought in the two girls at a recruitment fair during orientation week and although she didn't really know them yet, neither had sent so much as a odd look in her direction. And that small act of decency alone had endeared her to them slightly.

"Hadn't you noticed that it's the 21st century?", she paused to allow herself time to swallow the rising bile, "Oh I forgot, you've been away for a while." Brienne knew it was a low blow, bringing up Jaime's past disgrace, but in that moment she let her fury take control.

"I haven't been away so long as not to notice that femininity isn't really your thing", his gaze lingered, "I guess fighting men like me is the closest you've ever gotten to a man. Or do you prefer women, being that you're all about equal opportunities." Jaime grinned as he lowed his mask over his face again. "En guard. Wench."

 _No,_ Brienne thought, _not today, not like this_. She could have probably beaten him easily right now, with him so hungover she could smell the whisky leaving his body and her riled up to a point of anger beyond anything else she had ever felt before. But it would be a hollow victory and that, she knew, would bother her at a later date when the rage had cleared.

She tried to keep her face impassive as she stood up, leaving her mask behind on the bench. Even if they didn’t know each other at all, that didn't give Jaime the right to insult her the way he had just done. She could have just let the words roll off her as she had done so many times in high school, but she was a college sophomore now and Brienne thought that meant it was time to stand up for herself. She could just as easily insult him back, there were far more whispers flying around about the Lannister children than there were about her. Even as out of the loop as she was, Brienne had heard a few.   
  
But then there was the truth.

“You don’t know this yet”, she began softly, feeling his grin stall and she walked up to him. “But I’m a better partner than you’ll ever deserve.”

She flung her épée down at his feet, harder than she expected and winced inwardly at the echoing sound. She hadn’t wanted to draw attention to the arguement, but across the gym heads began to turn in their direction.

“Everybody knows you shouldn’t be competing anymore. You ended Aerys Targaryen’s career!” The gym went silent, the only sound Brienne heard was her heartbeat pounding in her ears and she immediately regretted her words.

The fencing coaches looked over at them in surprise at her sudden outburst. Barristan Selmy, a silver haired former Olympic runner-up, had at least apologised for the pair-up before Lannister had arrived, promising that all the training pairs would be looked at again at the end of the semester. And she would be competing against others once they’d set up the dates with the other colleges in their league. But the other coach, the infamous Jorah Mormont who’d been thrown out of the sport for an illegal infringement, hadn’t been so tactful. "In this club, at this college", he’d reminded her, "You had to at least pretend to get along with others. They were a team, and teams stuck together." Brienne had to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling Mormont she wasn’t worried about herself.

Brienne and Jaime were never going to be a team.

Jaime looked at her for a second, his face still hidden. She wondered what he was thinking and before she had time to apologise, he added his weapon to hers on the ground. His mask followed and she could see the blood rushing from his face.

“Don’t think you know what happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This originally had a different ending, but I thought it was too much too soon so I'm saving it for later.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated


	3. Chapter Three: I'm falling for your eyes (But they don't know me yet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime broods, Tyrion stirs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read this, I'm amazed by the number of hits so quickly!
> 
> Chapter title is taken from Ed Sheeran's Kiss Me (this fic is apparently making me produce a playlist as accompaniment!)

"Don't think you know what happened."

As Jaime had hoped the words left little room for misinterpretation. It had been over a year since he and Aerys had squared off, and barely a day went by without him thinking about it. It hadn't helped that his dad had pulled him out of classes for a while afterwards, claiming it would do Jaime good to get away from Kings while everything blew over.

It hadn't blown over.

The whispers usually didn't bother him, much, but now that stupid, stubborn girl had thrown it in his face and it opened the old wound back up.

She stared at him mouth slightly open, looking more like a farm animal than normal, as he had thrown down his gear at her feet and stormed out of the gym. Jaime felt twenty pairs of eyes on him all the way out into the corridor. 

As he felt the cooler air hit him, he took a deep breath. On hearing the door close behind him and the flurry of noise it produced, Jaime leaned against the gym wall and allowed himself to slide to the ground.

"Giving up already?" he heard a voice above him, "I am surprised." 

Jaime looked up, squinting into the low light at his younger brother Tyrion. Though a few years younger, with Jaime missing half a semester and Tyrion being altogether too smart for his own good, the pair were currently in the same year at Kings. Where Jaime was smart but unfocused, Tyrion was pushing genius level. And to make him stand out even more, Tyrion was only a little over four and a half feet tall. If he hadn't carried the Lannister name, or had Jaime quietly looking out for him, he probably would have picked on a lot more in high school.

Jaime cocked an eyebrow in question as Tyrion joined him on the floor. Tyrion raised both of his in response.

"Moral support dear brother. I thought you might need it today", the smaller man paused, "But tell me was it Clegane or Selmy that pushed you out here?"

"Clegane graduated. Or got kicked out. Or something", Jaime shook his head, "Selmy doesn't even look at me."

"So?"

"It was a woman", Jaime spat bitterly as Tyrion side-eyed him. 

"In the loosest sense of the word, I promise you", he told his brother, "At least six-foot three, blonde, buck teeth..."

"Ah, so you had a run in with Brienne the Beauty", Tyrion replied, "She's one to watch."

Jaime didn't think he'd ever actually want to watch Brienne do anything, but kept his mouth shut while wondering when exactly his little brother had begun to take such an interest in fencing.

"She brought up Aerys", Jaime began, well aware of how bratty he sounded.

"And that's merely the second or third item on a long list that proves you really should be in therapy."

Jaime glared, well aware of what the earlier items would be in Tyrion's mind. Instead of acting like a responsible adult though he reached out and shoved Tyrion in the shoulder. His brother just used the momentum to push himself off the ground and back into Jaime. 

"I'm just saying one day it might be something you actually want to talk about."

Jaime closed his eyes and rested his head on the cool wall behind him, fed up of the conversation topic. _Maybe_ , he thought bitterly, _one day somebody would want to listen._

Tyrion sniggered, lightening the mood, "At least she didn't bring up Cersei."

And with that they dissolved into muffled laughter at the absurdity of the entire situation.

 

The next morning there had been an email from Mormont in Jaime's inbox asking him to stop by the office after class to 'discuss his place on the team'. Jaime had rolled his eyes at the barely concealed aggression. He didn't have too many classes that day but it still felt like he spent the afternoon in half a daydream. The margins of his notebook were filled with tiny fencers, practicing his best moves, facing off against all the people at the forefront of his mind. Selmy, Aerys and Tarth over and over again. So by the time Jaime opened the door to the sports department for the meeting, he was more than ready for whatever was going to be thrown at him. Despite actually being on time for once, the giantess was there before him. Her face was blazing red, hair sticking to her forehead making it look like she had ran all the way. She met his eyes for a second, stunningly blue Jaime realised, and looked away.

"My Shakespeare class is on the other side of campus", she told him slowly as means of explanation

"So basically you're telling me you've turned up early for a bollocking." 

She blushed, whether in embarrassment or indignation Jaime didn't know and didn't really care. It just felt good to get under her skin. _Of course she had turned up early,_ he thought, _because that's what you do when you're ready to apologise_.

 

The fight earned them both a weeks suspension for dangerous and unsportsmanlike conduct. Jaime had tried to protest that they hadn't even really begun to fight but that earned him frosty glares from both Brienne and Mormont. Eventually he took it with a smug head toss and a look that said I've done longer that that, a week is nothing. Brienne had been mortified by the ban and had asked if there was anything she could do to make up for it. _It was only two sessions,_ Jaime thought, _nothing to get upset over._

(Which is how she ended up giving up her Saturday mornings and the odd evening to train Selmy's junior fencing club, later telling Jaime that he'd unwittingly provided her with one of the things she looked forward to each week.)

Mormont had also given Jaime and Brienne the option of training on their own, after hours, to prevent disrupting the rest of the group. He had phrased it as a request but his tone told them there was no wiggle room. As long as they didn't kill each other, damage the equipment or set fire to the gym he really didn't care what they wanted to call each other. It was this that piqued Jaime's interest and as he was dying to get back on the mat, he considered that maybe she might even be a challenge.

As they left the office Brienne thanked the coach for his leniency, Jaime rolling his eyes just out of eyesight.

"So", Jaime began as he jogged to catch up with the blonde's long stride, "What night's good for you? I can do Tuesdays without having to move anything around."

"Not interested."

"Really? You're going to give up fencing because of me. I didn't think you cared", Jaime manoeuvred himself in front of her, moving backwards, just so she couldn't ignore him.

"I don't. I can get another partner."

"But none as good as me."

Jaime saw her take a massive breath as she stopped, making him take two steps backwards to prevent a collision.

"If you want to be the best, you'll have to practice with the best. And contrary to whatever Selmy has told you, we all know I'm the best in that club."

The look she gave him clearly inferred that she thought he was talking rubbish, but she only asked, "Tuesday?" 

Jaime nodded. 

"That might work. But Lannister, I'm warning you whatever game you're playing I'm really  _not_ interested in the punch line."

As they got to the outer door, Jaime noticed Brienne's friends waiting for her.

"I'll need your number", Brienne said, colour slightly rising to her cheeks allowing Jaime to guess it wasn't something she asked for very often. 

Jaime beamed, "And here it comes. I knew all that Aerys stuff was bravado, no one can resist... Oof." He trailed off as Brienne placed a less than full strength punch to his right shoulder. 

"I need to check my schedule. My life isn't going to revolve around you."

Jaime thought about it for a second, nodded and let her write down his phone number in the back of her English textbook. Under his stare she blushed furiously the entire time. He didn't know why he was enjoying this all so much.

As she left the department, before the door closed on him, he heard her clearly tell the Tyrells that she didn't know what she'd done to "get lumbered with him." She gave him one last look, blue eyes ablaze.

Eyes that truly belonged on a prettier girl.

                                                                                             **************  
Jaime got the message at dinner. 

_Tuesday. 8pm. Don't be late. Brienne_

He smiled despite himself, he was desperate to pick up an épée again. It had been too long and away from the rest of the group they could merrily fight and bitch as long as they wanted. _She might even be good,_ he thought again. Tyrion noted his smile from the other side of the table. 

"Don't tell me that's our dear sister telling you she is going to make it tonight after all."

Jaime and Cersei had been inseparable for most of their childhood but things had gotten... complicated as they hit puberty. They weren't really properly related by anything but marriage, but it hadn't made anything easier. Eventually they had split as more than brother and sister, after he had caught her carrying on with her English professor. Cersei did most of the ignoring these days but there were still dreadful family gatherings where they had to play nice.

"Like she'd ever set foot in here."

He text Brienne quickly back, avoiding his brothers eye. _Fine by me. Sunday's too if you want.  J_

The reply was almost instant.

_Thanks. B_

"You seem fascinated by that tonight" Tyrion started

"Am not."

"Are too."

Jaime thought they were reverting to childhood in record time.

"Was that Brienne then?" Tyrion asked, dragging the syllables out. It always surprised Jaime how his brother knew everything before he did. 

"Shae's friends with Sansa Stark", Tyrion told him, reading Jaime's mind.

"I thought you didn't like her. You may have referred to her as less than a woman last night."

Jaime made a non committal noise as Tyrion tried a different track.

"How long did it take her to call you out? Minutes? Seconds?"

Jaime opened his mouth but no sound came out.

"And tell me, when was the last time someone called you out on your crap? Other than yours truly of course."

Jaime racked his head and realised it had been a very long time indeed.

That night, not unusually, he dreamt of white knights, golden lions and blood red rivers. All the while being watched by a pair of bright blue sapphires.

                                                                                                **************

The same blue that was now in front of him, concern heavy across his friends face. "Just how many pills did you take tonight?"

Jaime held up two fingers slowly.

"If you drink tonight, I'll kill you," she promised him

"I wouldn't expect anything less." He reached absentmindedly for her hand, barely grazing her fingers when a sound made them jump apart...

_Cersei._

_Shit._

_She was furious_ , Jaime thought, _gorgeous but fuming_. Her painted face twisted grotesquely with the anger, pink spots rising along her cheekbones. The pink matched her designer silk dress perfectly, making him think back to the way Brienne's face clashed horrifically with the blue of her outfit. But it was Cersei's eyes that really scared him, dark green similar to his own but void of any warmth. It was like staring into a body of water after an oil spill, like anything living had been completely wiped out. He felt chilled to the bone, burning only where he had barely touched Brienne.

Cersei's voice carried in the night air and hit them like a punch. "It's Valentine's Day for gods sake and you brought that!"

Brienne looked at Jaime, still too close but not close enough, sounding genuinely surprised, "How did we both forget it was Valentine's Day?"

Emerald eyes wide, he simply laughed. "I don't think I forgot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it.
> 
> I'm a little worried that this doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast, and I promise their will be fencing next chapter (but I decided I wanted to do it from Brienne's perspective) 
> 
> Any and all comments are very gratefully received. I am LOVING them all!


	4. Chapter Four: Love sticks, sweat drips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of two dances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another day, another chapter. This is a little longer than the rest but I wanted to get to a certain point before moving on.
> 
> This contains my take on the ASoS J/B sword fight so there a few direct lines taken from the text which are obviously not mine.
> 
> Chapter title is from Florence + The Machine's Kiss With A Fist, lyrics within the chapter are from Christina Perri's A Thousand Years.

"You what now?" Brienne felt floored, he was teasing surely, but his eyes, his eyes were god damn twinkling at her and she couldn't think straight.

"I don't think I forgot, not really", he told her seriously, "If I hadn't shown up tonight I wouldn't have heard the end of it and these things drive me mad to start off with. You sometimes just need your best friend by your side to survive the small talk. Valentine's Day or not."

She found suddenly that she couldn't breathe, not with Jaime being so un-Jaime-like and Cersei staring at her like a lioness would a zebra foal.

He offered her his arm and they went in.

                                                                                          ************

The gym was colder than usual that evening, Brienne thought, her breath fogging as she turned on the lights and sorted the equipment. She hadn't expected Jaime Lannister of all people to be so compliant with making her a better fighter, but here they were anyway. Well here she was, Jaime was late as predicted.

She had everything set up by the time he arrived, coffee in a paper cup warming his hands. 

"For gods sake wench, can we not afford heating anymore."

She rolled her eyes at the ridiculous unofficial nickname. "Guess not."

"Then I guess we better get started. May I have this dance my lady?"

                                                                                              **************

Brienne had never been inside of Casterly House before. _The place was absolutely cavernous_ , she thought, as she took Jaime's arm and fitted her hand into the crook of his elbow.

"Are you sure you're not royalty?", she whispered as they deftly avoided Cersei's eye. 

"Like a lord or a duke or something?"

"Exactly." Jaime was laughing in her ear now, inside her head. Cersei murderous stare following behind them as they moved into the room set up for the party. 

It was truly beautiful and whomever Cersei had hired to decorate had obviously been top notch and very expensive. Brienne felt out of place immediately, even more than usual, in her sensibly priced blue dress and flats among the red silks and pink satin. There were flowers everywhere, roses red and white on the tables, the room feeling heavy with their perfume.

A sudden high pitched shriek startled Brienne, causing her to jump. Expecting the worse she turned and instead of anything dangerous, she saw the familiar face of her roommate Sansa Stark. The redhead came towards her, arms outstretched and a pretty smile on her face. Jaime ducked away from Brienne as Sansa approached, whispering "I'll be right back".

Jaime was barely out of earshot when Sansa shrieked in pure excitement. Brienne's eyes widened, pleading her to keep it down. Her friend screamed again, this time barely a whisper under her breath.

"Oh. My. God", Sansa punctuated each word.

"Ohmigod what?" Brienne ran them together, all too nervous in this setting without her green eyed security blanket.

" _Jaime_ brought _you_ here _tonight_ ," Sansa almost bounced on her spindly heels as she explained the situation carefully. "I love it, it's so romantic", she gushed, arms hugging herself. _Sansa was luminous tonight_ , Brienne thought, _all summer strawberries and cream innocence._

Sansa was going through a stage of finding romance wonderful and tragic romance beautiful. She had even quoted Romeo and Juliet to Brienne on one of the days Jaime had managed to aggravate her so much she'd nearly put a fist through the wall of the gym. Brienne at least hoped that Jaime and her didn't end up the same way, apart from anything else, it was just too passive for her.

"It's a house party that he had family obligations to show up to. That's all. We're friends", Brienne replied, Jaime's words echoing in her head, feeling juvenile in there with all the Dickens and Starkey she'd digested over the last few days.

"Whatever", Sansa wasn't hearing her friend's pleas but changed the subject anyway as Jaime arrived back, easily carrying two glasses in one hand.

"Did you get your mark back from Language and Culture yet?"

Brienne shook her head, "Moderation."

"Urgh", Sansa even making the guttural noise sound refined, "I got half a page of notes about the proper usage of commas."

Brienne smiled, "Would you expect anything less from Stannis Baratheon?"

"He still gave me an 86, which will probably be my best mark all semester."

"You might surprise yourself, your Victorian literature paper was brilliant." Brienne had been unsurprised to learn that her friend had also adored Jane Eyre.

"I somehow think yours might appeal more, it was a mark of pure genius to write about ghosts. You know she'll love that", Sansa paused as Brienne caught a glimpse of Cersei gliding across the floor to the front of the room.

"The night is dark and full of terrors", the girls quoted together laughing.

All the while Jaime stood quietly beside Brienne, taking sips of a cloudy orange fruit punch. She thought she better check his forehead incase he was coming down with something. Brienne met Jaime's eye and he shrugged off her worry. "I'm fine. Stop worrying."

Cersei had called the room to order by then so Brienne didn't get a chance to tell him that no, he wasn't fine. He'd been up and down all night, and blaming it on his painkillers was lazy.

"Welcome to the annual Casterly House Valentine's Day Spectacular", Cersei smiled, though the warmth barely reached her eyes. 

"On this most romantic day..."

"Romantic?" Jaime whispered as he looked around the room, "Expensive nonsense for a half holiday more like it."

Brienne gently jabbed him in the ribs as she bit her lip to stop from smiling, completely missing most of Cersei's speech about Roman saints and love in our time. She didn't however miss the pointed stares or the final sentence, "Our first dance of the night is a classic waltz."

Sansa and Brienne exchanged looks. "It's a formal dance?" the blonde whispered, glancing down at her large hands and feet, noticing the miles of bare leg compared with the demure knee and calf length dresses of the other girls around her.

"First I've heard of it", Sansa replied looking equally shocked. _But of course Sansa probably had taken years of dance classes and was in complete control of her feet_ , Brienne thought only slightly envious. But by then her friend had been whisked away by a dark haired gentlemen and Brienne and Jaime had been left standing at the corner of a rapidly clearing room.

"Wow", Jaime breathed, "She truly knows how to ruin a perfectly good evening." He paused, weighing his options, finally smiling and asking, "May I have this dance my lady?"

She looked at her feet, "I don't know the steps."

"I'll teach you."

                                                                                       ************

She knew the steps. She knew when to step, when to lunge, when to defend. It was like clockwork in her head, no need to even think, her body just moving on it's own from hours of practice. But this time it was different. 

From the moment they'd arrived it was like something else. Even if he didn't necessarily follow all the rules.

He had bowed to her before she brought up her blade, as if they weren't about to begin to practice a discipline that at one time could have killed them both with one easy slip. And although the points on their weapons weren't sharp, it didn't mean there wasn't any danger. Jaime's words alone could possibly wound better than any sword.

                                                                                   *************

"It's easy", Jaime told as they stood in the doorway watching the couples dance, swirling colours like candy wrappers in the wind.

"Just listen to the music, one-two-three, one-two-three..."

_'Heart beats fast_   
_Colors and promises_   
_How to be brave?_   
_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall'_

She could hear the words, but the rhythm escaped her.

_'One step closer'_

                                                                                       ***************

Jaime was good, she realised, there was no denying that but he was also rusty and relied too much on his emotions.

Bringing his blade up to position he swung at her, much too big a movement, and she flicked her own weapon up to meet his attack. Carbon-steel met and the slight noise echoed into the empty gym.

"Not bad", Jaime muttered, his words barely audible behind his mask. Brienne could swear she saw a green flash there before he added, "For a wench."

 _Really,_ she thought, _again with the wench?_

"Play fair", she told him

"Oh I will."

He bounced once on the balls of his feet and sprung at her, finally fully alive with the weapon in his hand. As soon as she met his thrusts and lunges he was ready with another. She was on the defensive the whole time and he pushed her back, gaining on her step by step. The blades kissed and parted and kissed again. The sweat began to bead on her forehead and she itched to wipe it away. High and low he feinted at her, left and right, working as if to get a reaction. She met each strike with what she liked to think as grace, step and thrust, step and hit, faster, always faster. Again and again and again. Pushing forward, thrusting, pushing for the win. She could hear her heart pounding, blood singing, as they traded blows as easily as they could trade barbs.

Until Jaime stopped breathlessly to lift off his mask. She saw pure determination staring back at her and she realised he wanted to see the look in her eye when he won. _She couldn't give him that satisfaction,_  Brienne thought, but she lifted the covering from her face trusting recklessly that he at least wouldn't try and blind her. Her blue eyes met his green ones, reflecting the passion they both had for the win.

"Really not bad", he told her.

"For a wench?" 

"For a junior maybe."

Brienne smirked, muscles already cooling in the stagnant air, sweat dripping down the back of her neck, "Are you going to let a junior beat you then? Come on Ser, the music's still playing."

                                                                                   *************

_'One step closer.'_

Jaime held her awkwardly with one arm as she stood at a distance watching his feet move.

"How do you know this stuff anyway?" Brienne asked as she almost tripped over her own feet copying the simple steps.

"Wicked step-mother."

Brienne laughed and that made not falling over all the more difficult.

_'One step closer.'_

                                                                                         ************

With a grunt she was on him, and now he was the one moving backwards, step by step. She was pushing the advantage, pushing him towards the wall with every met thrust. His parries were becoming heavier and she thanked all her coaches for demanding she work on stamina first. And still no one had managed to land a proper blow, until she aimed a strike at his heart. It hit as his fatigue begun to take hold and she heard the buzz in her head as if they'd been properly hooked up for competition. Brienne didn't think she would ever hear a sweeter sound. 

She forced him back towards the wall, enjoying watching 'the best' falter. Brienne suddenly wondered if this would have been happening had she faced him a year ago, before Aerys, when he was at his peak, golden and shining. She may very well have been the one with her back to the wall. Though tired he still fought back, and the point of his blade connected with her upper thigh. _One all,_ she thought, as she met another high attack.

"Yield", she yelled as his back hit the wall and she inwardly winced at the word which had been brought on no doubt by reading The Three Musketeers well into the night.

Jaime looked at her quizzically, "Are you kidding me?" 

Dropping the épée, and all decorum, he shoulder charged her. For a second Brienne was surprised, that was until she felt her back hit the gym floor and Jaime was on top of her. Then she was just annoyed. He was panting from exertion, golden hair mussed artfully. She knew she looked even worse. But playing on her strength she rolled him, claiming the advantage once more. She brought her face closer to his, close enough to hear his ragged breathing, "Cheat."

She was panting too, but the word had come out like a breathless whisper. Something far more intimate than the situation warranted. Before he could response, a cough softly reverberated through the empty hall and made them spring apart. Brienne could feel the blood rush to her face.

"Excuse us", Jaime told the intruder, still breathing hard, "We were just practicing."

"Yeah I know what it looked like you were practicing", the voice said. 

"Don't forget what you owe me" he addressed Jaime, face hidden in the shadows and then he was gone. 

Brienne's heart was still pounding when Jaime turned to her, "That was good. Same time Sunday then?"

She was left staring in his wake.

                                                                                         ************

"So are you ready?", Jaime shrugged off his jacket and took his right arm out of the sling, holding his up arms in a practice ballroom hold. Brienne folded her leather jacket over a chair and stepped to him. She'd seen Dancing With The Stars with Margaery and Sansa enough times to know that this was supposed to be beautiful and elegant and graceful, all the things she knew she wasn't. But she was still here, trying not to embarrass herself in an almost empty room.

The music whirled in her head as she felt Jaime manoeuvre her into position. She knew he had too be close, but this still felt like too much.

"Breathe", he told her as he stepped backwards and she haltingly followed. 

_'I will be brave_   
_I will not let anything take away_   
_What's standing in front of me'_

"Feel the movement", he told her as she only managed two steps before stumbling into him. At least he didn't laugh, there was a smile on his face but it was familiar, almost tender.

_'One step closer'_

He was closer now she suddenly realised, almost flush against her, using his body weight to turn her slowly. Her pulse was pounding in her ears, part of her body screaming to run, the other part wanting more. Terrified that her thundering pulse would give her away with Jaime's head so close, she rapidly searched her head for anything to calm her heartbeat down. To take her away from the rising tension of what was becoming, at least to her naïve mind, a more-than-friendly dance.

She had visited him in the hospital every day after the hand incident, she remembered, every day to sit and type class papers while he drifted in and out of consciousness. Tyrion had been there too most of the time and they'd talked, in whispers at first, Jaime joining in when he eventually started making sense. When she wasn't there Brienne would send Jaime fencing updates by text, providing him with a lifeline to the outside world. Jaime had sent her a little stuffed bear, won playing arcade games instead of doing proper physiotherapy, as a small gesture of thanks shortly after he got out of the hospital. Not a teddy but a proper grizzly bear that now sat in her bedroom window. 

She took him a cake at his birthday, baked by Sansa since Brienne had dropped the original one. 

He'd left her pointers for her junior fencers after he'd snuck into the viewing gallery one Saturday, still in mourning over his prognosis. It would have all been rather sweet and romantic if only Brienne hadn't known he could never feel like that about her. Thinking the opposite only led to heartache she never wanted to feel again.

By then he was much too close, good hand against her jaw, thumb stroking the thin scar along her cheek. She'd had the scar her entire life as far as she remembered, whatever causing it being so traumatic that she'd forgotten the details. It was still tender sometimes, she would forget and brush her cheek and flinch like she had plugged straight into her nervous system. 

Jaime's fingers were doing that right now and the shivers he was producing over her skin were breathtaking. She tried to speak then, to tell him something, anything, but instead she almost purred and arched into his touch. 

They hadn't noticed the music had stopped. 

They hadn't noticed the couples streaming back into the room.

They hadn't noticed the staring before it was too late.

Sansa clasped a hand to her mouth and as the smile spread across her face, she clapped in pure joy for her friend. Cersei took it as a cue. "Oh look, it's Beauty and the Beast. Although I'm not quite sure which is which anymore." 

Her words were slurred, but the crowd still laughed. All but Sansa, who now looked like her world was crumbling.

"I'm sorry. I can't", Brienne disentangled herself from Jaime, almost tripping over his feet on the way out. She felt him reach for her, but could only focus on the jeers from Cersei pushing her away. The jeers from the past bubbling up in her head, all becoming too much. All yelling one word.

_Beast._

She didn't even allow herself to breathe as she ran from the party room to the nearest bathroom, allowing her lungs to fight against her mind. As Brienne shut and locked the door behind her, she finally allowed the tears to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you're still with me, thank you!
> 
> I'm not a fencer so I've tried to write this by avoiding too much terminology I don't understand but if I have made any glaring errors please let me know.
> 
> As usual comments are very much appreciated, it's nice to know the story is being read!


	5. Chapter Five: Now that you know this is my life (I won't be told what's supposed to be right)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime thinks too much, Sansa and Margaery make their mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it seems I may be a little addicted to writing this, as this next chapter came about much quicker than expected. There's not a lot of actual Jaime/Brienne contact here, all in the last third of the chapter, but I thought it was needed to touch on Jaime and Cersei slightly before moving on. (Blame tumblr)
> 
> Chapter title from Kelly Clarkson's Catch My Breath

"Good riddance", Cersei had laughed as Brienne fled the room.

Jaime felt his blood begin to boil. Glancing over to the crowd he realised that Sansa Stark was silently crying. The two of them may have been the only people in the room who actually cared about Brienne's feelings. Margaery Tyrell would have made three, but the brunette was conspicuous in her absence from the nights entertainment.

Not so long ago, Jaime would have been another pretty face in the crowd standing behind his step sister, ready to do just about anything for her. He had loved her desperately and it was that love that stopped him from growing up fully, from reaching out to someone beyond her. At the time he hadn't know it was starting to rot him from the inside out, making him forget. Cersei had loved him back, in her way, desperate to be included. She had wanted to be him as much as she wanted to be with him; forever. But there came a time when she had started to grow up on her own, finding her place in the world as Jaime was still stumbling towards his. They'd been each others secret for so long but now there was nothing left to hide. She'd become unsually bitter and power hungry before her time, while he'd only grown wiser but with a sense of sadness that couldn't be pushed aside along with it. Their love and loss was still all messed up in his head with family loyalty and what was right and what was wrong.

Brienne would have known what was right without even thinking. It came naturally to her, like breathing. And yet she hadn't even mentioned Jaime's past, preferring to focus on the man he was becoming, as if it was better late than never. He never even considered that Brienne wouldn't be aware of the whole situation.

_S_ _tupid, stubborn girl with her unending loyalty and inability to back down from a fight._

Brienne had even offered to fence with him again, to re-train him to use his left hand. "A left handed player could be more difficult to defend against", she'd blurted out during one of their weekly coffee meetings. The time spent in the tiny student run coffee house had started as a way of winding down after a practice session, but now it was just another part of their routine. After Jaime had been discharged from the hospital it had become something to look forward to, an hour where he could sit and not worry about the fact that he may never get the feeling back in his right hand.

Brienne had been more positive about the situation then his entire family put together. She had called him out on his moping pretty early on, arriving one day after he failed to reply to her multiple messages and demanded that he get up and get on with his life. She had called him a coward when his entire being wanted to give up. Falling into a pit of despair, he told her the whole story about Aerys from his bed, about why he had done what he'd done and how he was treated because of it, and she still stayed. She called him an idiot, Jaime knowing that Brienne would have found another way to stop that tyrant, but she still stayed.

He kind of loved that about her. 

He wanted to tell her about Cersei, but he guessed she already assumed and besides she was far too innocent for him to corrupt with his stories of forbidden love with an almost sibling. But if this new facet of Cersei thought she could mess with Brienne, mess with their friendship, then his sweet sister had another thing coming. Though before he even moved half a step, the sound of a slap rang out across the room, cutting through the murmurs of commencing conversation.

Nobody moved.

Sansa Stark, sweet, delicate flower Sansa Stark had smacked Cersei across the face. It looked like she'd put her whole body weight into too, Jaime noted, as Cersei's face turned red with the impact.

"You get a lot out of calling people things like beast don't you? Well you know what, it takes one to know one."

 _It may well have been Sansa Stark's crowning moment,_ Jaime thought as the redhead strode across the room, picking up Brienne's discarded jacket and despite a tear-streaked face, her head was held high as she left, exchanging a solemn high five with Jaime on the way.

"Couldn't have put it better myself", Jamie quipped as he made to leave, falling back on old times by making things worse with a handful of words. "And Cersei just for future reference, her name is Brienne. You'd be best off remembering that."

"You want her?" Cersei asked surprised, her tone mocking, "Why don't you go and get her then?"

Jaime thought about it for a second, coming to only one obvious conclusion. "Thank you. I think I will."

So he did.

                                                                                            ************

Outside Sansa was almost giddy, bouncing as she had done earlier in the night. "God I hate that bitch", she told Jaime before he could even enquire about her motivations, "She has actually enjoyed making my life a living hell. I just can't believe I hit her."

Jamie laughed, "Sansa Stark you are full of surprises."

She shrugged, smiling. Jaime almost expected to see little rainbows reflecting in her tear tracks. "You know friendship is another kind of love, right?" Sansa asked suddenly.

"I've never thought about it like that before."

"I'm just wondering...", she trailed off, leaving the unasked question in the air.

Jaime wasn't sure exactly how he felt about Brienne, and he definetly wasn't ready to share that just yet. "I think we should find Brienne."                                                                                            

                                                                                               ***********

Some time later, after he'd been told for the twelfth time that the house was a nightmare to get around, he had a brainwave. They found Brienne in the basement bathroom, the same one she'd used to clean him up after his beating at Halloween, and the only room in the house painted blue. Jaime shook his head, realising that they would all be better off if they never set foot in Casterly House ever again.

"Give me a minute", Sansa told him as the bathroom door was unlocked and the redhead slipped inside.

Jaime stood outside the bathroom, ear pressed to the solid wood. He wasn't much for eavesdropping, secrets always came with a price in his family home, his fathers house, but today he ached to know what was being said. Though the door was too heavy, the whole house entirely too well made for much to escape, so all he could hear were muffled sobs and running water. It wasn't like Brienne to cry, he'd only seen her do it twice in the whole time he'd known her, but from the glimpse of her face he got earlier there was a definite indication that tears were coming.

The first time he had made her cry by pulling a stupid move in practice that ended with him smacking her butt with the flat of his weapon. The tears then had been of rage and frustration and Brienne hadn't spoken to him for two days after.

The second time he witnessed something she wouldn't have wanted him to see. He'd been late to coffee, his hospital appointment running over, and when Jaime had arrived Brienne was reading some awful fairytale romance novel. From across the room he had noticed that the blonde was welling up, the tears turning her eyes into misty tropical seas. Though she had wiped them away by the time he sat down and he didn't have the heart to bring them it up again.

As the sounds of tears continued, he realised that Sansa was going to take longer than the promised minute, sitting down with his back to the wall, palm to the door as if Jaime could feel something he couldn't yet see or hear.

                                                                                            **************

He had lost track of time when Margaery had eventually arrived, giving off an aura of fierce determination despite the heady scent of lilies, still in her Tyrell's Flowers apron. "I really do hate Valentine's Day", she glared, "It has a habit of bringing out the worst in some people."

Jaime held his hands up in surrender, trying to look innocent and knowing immediately that he'd failed.

"Sansa text me and we've got maybe twenty minutes before Will drives the van back around to sort this all out."

Jaime stayed quiet, slightly wary of the Tyrell girl. It was said she was even more determined than Cersei once she got her claws in and that alone made him step carefully around her at the best of times.

She sighed, pushing a thin box at him, "But someone at least should have some romance in their lives."

He made to open it, curious until he was stopped by the brunette.

"It's a blue orchid for Brienne, as you've been starting to look at her like she walks on air. But bear this in mind Jaime if you hurt her, we will kill you"

Jaime nodded, strangely proud that Brienne and her friends were so protective of each other.

"And make it look like an accident", Margaery finished, "Just so you know."

"Cross my heart", he replied, "Besides I don't want to mess with any of you. Stark's just showed tonight that she's as big a bad ass as the rest of her family"

Margaery only nodded in reply.

                                                                                       **********

Brienne came out of hiding shortly after, Sansa leading her by the hand like a child. The redhead, though tall, barely came up to Brienne's shoulder. They had both been crying, Jaime realised as he glanced over Brienne's puffy eyes and blotchy face, though the evidence was now fading.

Brienne couldn't look him in the eye despite standing in front of him now, her gaze darting from person to person, object to object in the small space. _How like a Lannister,_ Jaime thought, _to undo months of trust with one sentence._

Finally he'd just had enough. He moved his left hand under the taller girl's chin and tilted it upwards so they were eye to eye. 

"Look at me", he stayed gentle, urging, "Don't listen to her. You know who you are and you're not a beast. There's no..."

Jaime never finished his sentence as Brienne threw her arms around him and dissolved back into tears. There were clearly far too many emotions flying around tonight than were necessarily good for any of them. He brought his arm up around her, happy to ignore the way she was currently crushing his right side.

"I didn't think you'd do this", she began, her words muffled as she buried her head into his shoulder, the salt of her tears doing nothing for the material of his shirt.

"Don't be silly", Jaime replied, on a whim placing a kiss on the top of her head, "Just say the word. I'd much rather have to hug you than fight at the minute, I've only got one good hand remember."

She hiccoughed, half a laugh, half a sob as he continued to kiss her hair in comfort, wondering how she would react if he kissed her properly. They stood in each other's arms for slightly longer than was probably needed, neither wanting to break the contact now that they'd found it.

                                                                               **************

In the end it had been the midnight chime of the hall clock that got them to move.

Margaery and Sansa had slipped away to give them their moment but with Brienne beginning to yawn intermittently, Jaime thought it might be a good idea for them to go home. Sansa had taken his keys without a word, without even a raised eyebrow as he and Brienne settled in the back of his car. 

Brienne had been asleep before the car had even started, completely overwhelmed by the night that had pulled a handful of emotions out of her that she rarely showed. Jaime just arranged himself around her, feeling perfectly comfortable before his eyelids began to droop.

                                                                                       ***********

As they reached Jaime's house, Sansa looked over her shoulder to the back seat where her friend was practically melted into his side. Brienne's head was on Jaime's shoulder, his resting neatly on top of hers as they both slept and Sansa couldn't think of a time when she had ever seen something look so natural for either of them. 

"Are we taking that that", she pointed at the four arm, four leg tangle, "means they're a couple now?"

Margaery smiled at the question from across the car, looking all knowing. "Oh sweetie, they've been almost a couple for a while now they just haven't admitted it to themselves yet."

Sansa's returning smile was wicked. "Why don't we help them then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the original plan this was going to be the second last chapter, but I've got so many more ideas now as the story has developed
> 
> Thank you again to all who have read and commented on this over the past few days. It keeps me writing!


	6. Chapter Six: I Can't Sleep (I’m just lying here thinking ‘bout you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne can't sleep but Jaime will, in the least convenient place possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all the kudos and comments, it means a lot that people are reading and enjoying.
> 
> This chapter probably contains even less actual plot that usual, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Chapter title is from Long Hot Summer by Keith Urban

Brienne woke up in her own bed, completely unaware of how she had arrived there as the last thing she remember was getting into Jaime's car. She rolled, trying to avoid the early morning light streaming in through her curtains and found herself reaching for something that wasn't there anymore. _Just a dream then,_ she thought, though the heated memory of another body still warmed her in her semiconscious state. 

At least it was a change from the bloody, screaming terror she'd been dreaming of lately. Shadows, bears and Jaime. Always Jaime. For all the times she could save him, there was always one where there wasn't enough time and he was gone, slipping through her fingers like water. Those mornings she always woke up shaking from the aftereffects of the nightmare, texting him inane messages just to make sure there wasn't any truth in her dreams.

Though as the smell of coffee rose from the kitchen below, she felt like she hadn't slept for half as long as she needed despite the easy dream. If she had been fully awake, Brienne would have realised that she was the earliest riser in the house and would always have the coffee brewing before either of her roommates made it to the kitchen. In an effect to allow them longer in bed after nights out, neither Sansa or Margaery had chosen classes before lunchtime that semester.

Forcing herself to open her eyes, to check the time at the very least, the night before came back to Brienne in waves of feeling, beautiful tension and burning touches. The sheer embarrassment of acting like a stupid teenage girl and crying on Jaime's shoulder was enough to heat her face in shame. He'd been so nice, suspiciously sweet for him and she'd just found it all too much on top of everything else. 

Cersei.

_Beast._

Jaime.

Sansa had been the one to find her, Jaime thankfully staying outside for the meltdown, and they'd just sat on the floor letting everything out. Her friend had been in shock, eyes wide, hands shaking and the hug that had come about had been as much for the redhead as it had for Brienne.

Brienne often wondered if that kind of easy friendship would have been the kind of relationship she would have had with her sisters, had they lived past infancy. Sansa had a sister who attended the Saturday morning practice session, and although they were as different as night and day there was a fierce protectiveness there too. Sansa and Arya would fight and bitch to their hearts content, but lord help the person who did it to one with the other in earshot. The redhead had 'accidentally' tripped her sisters not-boyfriend one morning as he left the gym following a particularly violent session that had ended in a shoving match. Though Brienne thought if Sansa had witnessed one of her and Jaime's first practices, she would have quickly called out Arya and Gendry as their teen miniatures.

Brienne's own sisters were lost to hazy memories of hospital visits, the smell of disinfectant and tiny pink bundles fighting for breath. Her mother too, though clearer in her head, was only a mix of birthdays, Christmases and school recitals. She had been old enough to know what was happening that final time, and her dad had to drag her out of the hospital kicking and screaming like a toddler. Brienne hadn't wanted to leave her mother behind and even all these years later she missed her dearly every day. Jaime too had lost his mother young, she remembered,wiping away a single tear as she wondered if he could even remember his mother or if it was all simply lost to time. 

Brienne let the sadness distract her from everything she was trying not to overthink, but the green eyes and smirk kept sneaking their way in, laughing at her breathlessly as she lost ground to the Lannister in her head.

"Brienne", dream Jaime whispered, her name on his lips suddenly becoming a tease, a promise. 

"Brienne", softer this time, questioning. 

"Not interested", she whispered back.

"Really?" Jaime's voice filtered through the slight gap in her bedroom door, making her jump in surprise. "I let you drool on me, brought you coffee and you still tell me to go away. A lesser man might start to feel a bit unwanted around here. And we both know that isn't completely true."

She flushed, fully awake now, as he pushed open her door with a half full mug of coffee and padded across the room to her bed. Barefoot, his shirt crumpled and slightly unbuttoned he looked like he'd had all of about twenty minutes sleep. And he still looked like a demi-god.

He sat on the end of her bed as she scurried into a corner, blankets clutched tightly, knees hugged to her chest.

"I don't bite you know", Jaime sighed as he handed over the mug, raising his eyebrows at the extra distance as Brienne took a swig of the hot, dark liquid.

 _But you might kiss_ , she thought, remembering his lips on her hair, and she wasn't sure which was more terrifying.

The coffee tasted bitter on her tongue, slightly off somehow, the flavour of which she couldn't place. "You didn't do something stupid like spit in this did you?" Brienne asked in slight amazement as Jaime began to spread out across her bed, settling down as if he was planning a nap.

The response came back, light and flirtatious. "Believe me if I wanted to swap saliva with you, there's a much more fun way of doing so."

 _Sleepy Jaime equalled flirty Jaime apparently_ , Brienne thought, putting the mug on her bedside table and watching as he lay his head down on her pillow before sending an almost coy little smile up at her. She didn't know when the information would be particularly useful but she stored it away mentally anyway.

He was still leaving a sensible gap between them though, she noted, allowing her to come to him if she wanted. 

This was a new level of teasing from him, different to the banter faced in their practice sessions where more often that not, she felt comfortable enough to bite back. With her steady patience regularly being called stubborn and him always goading her into making more difficult moves was making her better without even giving her enough time to register the changes. As he smiled up at her, Brienne realised she needed to bring up the re-training idea again and not only because she was beginning to miss all that time spent with Jaime. Her new partner was nowhere near half as good as Jaime could be. But as she had little to no experience with soft smiles and, what seemed like, genuine respect the words disappeared into the recesses of her mind. The last boy she had let in her heart ended up dating Margaery's brother, which was fair to admit had come as a bit of a shock. 

When Jaime had prised it out of her one afternoon a couple of months back, he had found the entire situation hugely amusing. "Renly? Baratheon? Stannis' little brother? Well you do like the pretty boys don't you."

She shrugged as he grinned, clearly putting himself somewhere near that list. 

Renly had been Stannis' TA during her freshman year, and had actually gone out of his way to be nice to her, praising her assignments and picking on her sometimes to answer questions in class. At the time she hadn't realised Renly was just like that to everyone.

"You're much too..." Jaime had gestured at her, "Well everything for him. He prefers curly haired little twits like Loras Tyrell."

She knew that now, it was just a shame she didn't know before she'd made a fool of herself.

The boy before that had been even worse. Brienne had been fourteen, already the tallest person in her school, and the attention had been pleasantly unexpected. In the end he had ended up with a broken nose after telling her it had been a bet, and Brienne had ended up with a months detention for hitting him at school. That night her dad had taken her out for ice cream, though whether that had been in celebration or desperation she still hadn't worked out.

 _So it wasn't really fair with her track record_ , she thought, _that the highly desired Jaime Lannister was now softly snoring in her bed as she cowered against the wall._

Brienne gently poked his side with her foot, still hugging her knees, trying to make herself as small as humanely possible.

There was only a grunt in response, before he turned over and held her foot over the blanket, eyes opening slowly.

"I'm trying to sleep here", he told her languidly.

"I know. In my bed."

"You're bed's amazing. I should have let you talk me into staying here with you last night. That sofa in your front room is a nightmare."

She narrowed her eyes at him, knowing full well she would have remembered inviting him to spend the night with her, however innocent the suggestion was.

"You didn't say it in so many words, but you wanted to if the act in the car was anything to go by."

The glint in his eyes was back, not even put off by the second push Brienne sent his way. Jaime was throughly enjoying this tease, she realised, urging her to respond as he lay in her bed.

"You could have at least asked before you made yourself at home."

"And what would that achieve? I certainly would have missed that delightful crimson colour you're turning."

Brienne felt the colour coming back to her face, creeping slowly across like the sunrise coming in through her window but had tried to ignore it as best possible.

"I should come and sleep in your bed. See if that would amuse you as much." It was a childish retort but, for her, in the current situation, overly bold.

"And I assure you that would be an entirely welcome surprise. It'd be nice to see you break a few of your own rules." His words were slurring, eyes closing.

"I don't have rules", she shifted her weight a little, stretching across but not touching Jaime.

"Mmmmmm", he replied, turning and curling towards her, closing the gap even as sleep took him. _He was fighting his body now_ , she thought, as Jaime kept forcing his eyes open to sneak glances through his eyelashes at her, green glints becoming smaller and smaller in a matter of minutes.

Brienne waited until he was fully asleep before she moved properly. She had to press herself around him in order not to jostle the bed too much and the heat coming from him felt so good, so familiar, that for a second she wanted nothing more than to stay with him. To spend a day in her bed and let him kiss and bite and do whatever else he wanted. 

It was only a second though.

She threw one of her blankets over him, tucking him in as she marvelled at how young and carefree Jaime looked. If it hadn't been for the two day stubble beard, he could have been a little boy dreaming of a big adventure. Brienne found she liked the contrast quite a bit. His hair was growing long again, falling into his eyes and in the quiet momentarily Brienne forgot her unease and brushed a lock behind his ear. He murmured, a noise deep in his chest, and reached up to brush where her fingertips had been.

She smiled to herself as she left her room, shutting the door quietly behind her, letting him sleep in peace.

                                                                                                ************

"You do realise that you're basically sabotaging the house in order to get them together?", Margaery asked Sansa as they shook out the stuffing lumps in the sofa cushions downstairs.

"It'll be worth it", Sansa promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be more actual story plot next time I promise!
> 
> Comments are all greatly appreciated as usual, and maybe one day I'll get around to replying to everyone individually!


	7. Chapter Seven: It don't take a word, not a single word (Go on and kiss the girl)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa Stark may have learnt all her wooing strategies from Disney films and romantic comedies, but that doesn't mean she isn't going to try and find a happily ever for one of her best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an insomniac in the summer, which is why this chapter has come together so quickly!
> 
> Chapter title is from Kiss The Girl in The Little Mermaid, which is also referrenced in the chapter.
> 
> As usual, the characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them to give them some happiness

"Three weeks!", Sansa Stark whispered, tapping her foot in exasperation as she waited outside the lecture theatre of her next class. "Three weeks and nothing!"

Margaery Tyrell smiled across at her friend, leaning up against the opposite wall. "You can lead a horse to water..."

Sansa shot her a black look over the heads of the departing class.

"Some things take time", Margaery gently reminded her

"But we've had months of 'Jaime' being Brienne's every other word. She's falling so hard. It's worse than with Renly."

"But at least far more probable."

Sansa stifled a giggle behind her hand and resumed her glare. This was, in her humble opinion, getting beyond a joke.

"All joking aside", Margaery smoothly continued, "It appears that even with your prodding they're not going to just fall into each others arms like in one of your favourite Katherine Heigl movies..."

"But they did! At Valentines!"

"After a rather unsavoury encounter with our favourite future alcoholic. We can't recreate or escalate that just because you think they need to make out. It would be cruel."

Sansa merely nodded in agreement, remembering the throbbing in her hand after she had hit the golden queen bee for calling out her friend.

The previous class had finished packing up by then, so they trailed in to take up their normal seats, well out of the eyeline of the incoming professor.

"Though...", Margaery began quietly, looking down at her shoes

"Yes?"

"I don't think it would have had any effect at all, but I may have told Jaime that, if he hurts her, we would kill him?" Margaery's voice was smaller than usual, rising in pitch as she finished.

"I don't think we'd get a look in, I think Brienne would get there first."

They both laughed at that, but it was quickly cut off.

"Good afternoon girls", a silky smooth voice blew down the stairs to where they were sitting. "It's nice to see that democracy is so amusing."

Sansa plastered a smile on her face as she replied in a monotone voice, "Democracy is always amusing where people crave power but then never take the leap in order to wield it properly. Isn't that what you taught us Professor Baelish?"

"True. True", he nodded before continuing down the stairs, "I hope your mother is keeping well Miss Stark."

Sansa suppressed a shiver of repulsion.

"Gods he makes my skin crawl", Margaery whispered as soon as Baelish was out of earshot, "I just want to go home and take a shower and wash even the air he breathed on me off", she paused, "Only I can't because you still haven't called a plumber to fix the last stunt you pulled in the house."

Sansa smiled, sweetness and light returning to her face, "All in the name of love."

"Well love better let itself be heard pretty soon, as I'm now having to get up early to shower at the shop." Margaery yawned loudly to prove her point, completely un-lady-like.

"Two words Margaery, Jaime's chest."

Margaery smiled despite her irritation, "That was quite nice wasn't it?"

"Let's hope Brienne thought so too."

                                                                                             *********

Brienne was beginning to think something was wrong with her house. It wasn't quite poltergeist levels yet but for the past three weeks strange things had been happening. 

And it had started the night Jaime Lannister had taken up residence in her bed.

                                                                                            *********

He had been gone by the time Brienne came back from her run that morning, the scent of him still heavy in the air and on her sheets. She should have washed everything, she knew, but it was such a distraction that she merely sat down and turned on the TV to fill in some time before her next class. A tiny barely legible note had been left beside the now ice cold coffee she'd put there earlier.

'Next time we do this, you need to stay'

_Next time? There was going to be a next time?_

Pulling the blankets to her face, she breathed deeply and concentrated on the nonsense on the screen. It turned out to be the very first day ever that Brienne ever skipped a class.

She later found that the most comfortable sofa in the world, Sansa's words after she'd spent a night on it following a drama club pub crawl, had surprisingly developed a multitude of tiny holes in it. Picking up a drawing pin from the floor, Brienne wondered if someone had accidentally spilled a box and not tidied them all up.

                                                                                   ***********

She didn't see Jaime again until several days later when she was coming back from the movies and found him sitting on the steps outside her completely dark house. He offered her a halfhearted wave as she got out her keys.

"You could have knocked", she told him as she opened the door, "I don't think Sansa or Margaery would knowingly let anyone sit outside in February."

Jaime shrugged, "There was no answer".

"What are you doing here anyway? It's not like you to show up without some kind of announcement."

"That's so you can make yourself decent", he winked as she caught herself rolling her eyes, a tiny smile threatening the corner of her mouth.

"I'm always decent", she told him firmly as she felt around for the light switch just behind the front door.

"Is that one of your rules?" Jaime bit back sweetly.

"No rules. Just morals", she looked pointedly at him but was pretty sure he couldn't make out her expression in the dark. 

"I think your hall light is out", he told her after hearing the snick of the switch several times. 

Brienne stood on her toes under the light shade, squinting up. "And that's because we don't have a light bulb anymore."

I think you've got mice", Jaime called after her as she left him to check the other downstairs rooms.

"Mice can't undo screws."

"Ghosts then."

"Ghosts are non-corporeal. Oh and I don't know, not actually real."

"I saw one when I was a kid", Jaime replied nonchalantly, "The Lannister estate is ancient, there had to be something malevolent hanging around after all that bloodshed."

"Estate?"

"Estate", he confirmed, "I'll have to take you there someday."

That time Brienne let the smile reach more than just the corner of her mouth.

"Do you have anymore ghost-mice misdemeanours to add to the list?", he asked as she returned holding a large green tea-light outstretched in her palm. 

"No, but no light either. I did however find half a shop's worth of candles." She passed him the tea-light and went back to get more.

"So why are you here anyway?" she asked as they took the candles into the front room.

"Tyrion. He's the god of tits and wine apparently."

Brienne stared back in confusion.

"His parties are getting a bit wild for an old cripple", Jaime waved his bandaged hand at her, scrunching his nose to imitate wrinkles he didn't have yet. "I'm actually finding I prefer to get more than a couple of hours sleep a night, and half naked girls passed out at the breakfast table gets old really quickly."

"And you came here?"

"Rules. You let me sleep and like you said, you're always decent", his tone was getting lighter, playful again. Brienne felt her stomach start to drop. "And", he continued, "Sansa said yesterday it would be ok for me to come here if I wanted as Margaery and her would be at the party anyway."

He paused deliberately, "I thought we could recreate Valentines night."

"You're not throwing me out of my bed again."

"Didn't you get my note? I wasn't implying that you leave."

Brienne wasn't sure she wanted to, so that ended up being the night Jaime took up residence on her bedroom floor.

                                                                                          **********

When the final grades from the previous semesters modules finally went up about a week later, it was Brienne who decided they needed to celebrate. Discreetly though, no parties this time. She wanted to leave the parties to the official campus houses and never wanted to step into another one of them again.

As it was musical week at the drama department, it meant that she hadn't seen or heard from either of her roommates for a few days. They doing Chicago this semester and, happy to support her friends in their musical endeavours, had already picked up her ticket to watch Sansa and Margaery sing and dance their way through the production.

So after she had booked the table, Brienne simply text out all the details to the people she wanted to spend time with. Sansa and Margaery obviously, Jaime and Tyrion, since she'd been spending more and more time with them and Tyrion had surprisingly taken an instant like to her. Jon, Sansa's half brother, and his friend Sam who were in her Scottish literature reading group and Loras, who'd been moping since Renly finished his PHD and Brienne felt some sadness for him.

But when the night actually arrived, it was only her and Jaime sitting around a large oval table.

"I wonder what's keeping them", Brienne said, checking her watch and looking over her shoulder to the door.

Jaime laughed back at her, his words softly under his breath so she had to strain to hear them, "They're so childish."

She looked at him, his face impenetrable, "What did you just say?"

"Nothing", he shook his head a little, letting his hair fall across his face, "Do you know what your getting beacuse all this waiting has left me starving."

The next day Margaery swore blind that there had been no message. "You know that house, the signal can be a bit off sometimes."

Brienne frowned, Jaime had been receiving all her messages judging by his speedy replies. She was beginning to think that something was seriously wrong, a small part of her waiting for the laughter at her foolishness.

And then there was the shower incident.

                                                                                          **********

Jaime had spent the night on her bedroom floor again, and Brienne was beginning to find it didn't bother her as much as the first time. It was like freshman year, or summer camp, only her roommate this time wasn't a member of the netball team but Jaime Lannister who, it was quite possible, she was developing a monster crush on.

She'd been deep in sleep, re-playing fencing bouts in her head where all her opponents turned into golden maned, green eyed attackers who kept pressing her back and back, when she heard his voice cut through.

"Uh, Brienne?"

She rolled, covering her head with a pillow as if she could block out the morning and push back against the sessions she never won. It always ended the same, she fell and he was on top of her like that first time in the gym. Half asleep, she wondered if she could finally change the outcome.

"I think I may need a hand."

Brienne rolled her eyes under her pillow.

"No pun intended of course."

Reluctantly she removed the pillow from her face and looked out of her open door. Jaime stood there, towel around his waist, dripping all over the carpet. He held out a dial in his left hand, right arm wrapped in plastic, looking to Brienne like the naughtiest puppy she had as a child.

"I think I may have flooded your bathroom."

She sighed deeply, closing her eyes for a second as if imprinting the image of a very wet, almost naked Jaime into her mind, and got out of bed. Sweeping past him, he handed over the dial, letting her brush against his chest in the movement. Brienne swore she saw a glint of red coming from the ajar door to Sansa's room, a glint of brown from Margaery's.

"What have you done?" she asked as she noticed the towel at the bathroom door, the dribble of water running onto the carpet.

"I don't know", his voice genuine, she kept her eyes firmly on his face, not allowing herself to follow the tiny scars that ran down his well muscled shoulder, tracing lines over his forearm before disappearing behind the plastic on his right hand. There were more across his chest, over his left arm and she thought of her own caused by climbing trees, horses and bike rides.

Brienne opened the door slowly, pushing back about a quarter inch of water pooling on the floor. The shower, instead of spraying water normally, was gushing out gallons of steam, overloading the drain and letting it settle in the process. "I repeat, what have you done?"

Jaime held up the dial again, "I turned and it came off. I think there's a screw missing".

"You've got a screw missing", she muttered as she tried to figure out just what exactly had gone wrong.

 

Brienne had been soaked through by the time she managed to fix Jaime's mistake and turn the water off. He was hovering over her shoulder the whole time, steam rising off his skin that despite the scarred imperfections looked like golden marble when the light hit it just right.

She felt naked as her t-shirt clung to across her chest, the pale colour becoming translucent as it absorbed the water. And it wasn't as if Jaime hadn't noticed either, his gaze flitting across her wide shoulders, lack of breasts and toned stomach. Her face, already flushed from the heat of the water, turned darker and she felt it seep down her neck as if headed ever further south. Brienne crossed her arms across her chest, which didn't really do anything expect draw more attention, and turned. "Don't do that again"

"You still think there's no such thing as ghosts?" Jaime asked as the bathroom door closed behind her retreating figure.

Brienne was beginning to think it was something far more sinister as she heard muffled giggles coming from Sansa's room.

                                                                                                   ***********

"It's Brienne's birthday next week", Sansa reminded Margaery after the Politics class had crawled it's way to a conclusion.

"I know. But as she's said. on multiple occasions might I add, that most of the people she likes, and actually like her back, are about fifteen. So we're not going to throw a party for her."

"She has to do something", Sansa whined

"She is, she's taking your sister and her merry band of men to paintball and we're doing cake and presents later,"

"That's not what I meant. It's 21 Marge, it's gotta be memorable,"

"I'm pretty sure Arya with a paintball gun is going to be memorable", Margaery predicted, "Possibly highly dangerous, but memorable."

Sansa pulled a face, happy that Brienne had managed to pull in reinforcements for the activity that didn't include her, her pale skin bruised very easily and she knew Arya would find at least a couple of occasions to shoot her. "Tyrion said...", she continued, chasing paintball out of her head with party plans.

"Sweetie, no good phrase in the history of the English language ever began with 'Tyrion said'."

"Tyrion said", Sansa emphasised, "That we could have a party at his and Jaime's house. And it wouldn't necessarily have to be a birthday party, just a party on Brienne's birthday." 

"You've already made up your mind haven't you?" Margaery asked, the question clearly rhetorical, "Alright, but even after yesterday I don't think you can actually  _give_ Brienne Jaime to finish unwrapping. Even on her birthday."

"At least not without his permission first."

Margaery laughed, "You know who you're reminding me of today? Sebastian the crab in The Little Mermaid. You're just slightly out of ear shot singing 'Kiss The Girl', hoping it's enough to get the message across"

"These things take time", Sansa echoing her friends earlier words as she skipped off into the corridor, already planning her next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and re-wrote the middle section about three times, so apologies for any continuity errors. And I know nothing about plumbing!
> 
>  
> 
> Comments are loved and appreciated. Thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter Eight: What makes you think that you know what’s better for me? (I don’t think you wanna see what’s underneath your made up version of me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei vs. Brienne round two, Tyrion becomes a 'shipper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bonus holiday Monday chapter before the party.
> 
> Chapter title is from Rumour Mill by We Are The In Crowd. 
> 
> There's also a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby within the chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Tyrion's throwing another party later on in the week", Sansa nonchalantly told Brienne on the first day of the year they could comfortably walk home from class without being blown to pieces or soaked through in seconds. Spring was coming to campus, and although still chilly at times, it was a welcome change to the last few months. Brienne hadn't really changed her wardrobe, sneakers instead of boots with her jeans and sweater, but Sansa had already broken out the ballet pumps and a light dress that would be up around her waist should the wind blow in the right direction. And yet she still had her scarf on, Brienne noted somewhat incredulously. 

They only had one class together that semester, as a lot of the modules were being split into seminar groups now, but it was during the last session of the day so it was always dark before they finished. Sansa didn't much like walking in the dark alone and Brienne didn't much like getting the bus without her so it was a normal occurrence for them to be together. Brienne listened to Sansa chirp like a little bird, usually only half interested in gossip but every now and then there would be a topic that got them both going. Baz Lurhman films, Harry Potter or teen vampire romances were usually good starting points. So Brienne certainly hadn't been expecting an ambush.

"Good for him", Brienne replied, no real emotion in her voice, unsure of where this was headed, "Will Jaime be using us as a hotel again?"

"Don't pretend you don't like it. At least not with me", Sansa glanced at her friend, "The reason I brought it up is because it's happening on your birthday,"

 _Oh_ , Brienne thought, _this is where it's going_. 

"I don't mind if you and Margaery want to go. I wasn't planning a late night."

Sansa shook her head, disbelief thundering across her delicate features, "I don't get you sometimes. Don't you want to go a little wild for once in your life? Twenty one won't be repeated, you might look back and be disappointed that you were so good."

Brienne highly doubted that, "I'll have some champagne with my friends, eat some cake and that's really enough for me. I thought we had all of this agreed."

Sansa made a grumbling noise of discontentment, "It would be nice if you would show up for a bit. One drink then you can go."

"One drink?"

"Just one", Sansa promised, linking her arm with her taller friend, "So do want Chinese or Thai tonight?"  
   
                                                                                   *********

There'd been a message on Brienne's phone the following morning telling her that her birthday cake was ready. Vanilla sponge, buttercream filling and tiny blue sugar forget me knots, it was quite possibly the cake of her dreams. 

The bakery was about twenty minutes away by bus, so she picked up the paperback she was currently devouring and headed out. The sky was overcast again and Brienne hoped it would clear up before the trip out with her fencers the following day as too much mud and rain would seriously dampen the fun. She had already been told by several parents that she was mad for taking out a dozen teens with little adult supervision. Arya and Sansa's half-brother had volunteered to help along with his girlfriend and Brienne had figured that would be enough. As she sat on the bus she realised, that actually, she was really looking forward to tomorrow morning.

The route dropped her right outside the shop, the air filled with the smell of baking bread and chocolate brownies. Though she had planned to just collect the cake and go home straight away, with her book in her bag she decided to have a cup of tea in the quiet cafe while they boxed up her birthday present to herself. It turned out to be a really bad decision.

Brienne had barely got one chapter into her book when she saw two very familiar blondes coming into the cafe. One she could happily chat with for hours, the other she hoped she could avoid for the rest of her life.

Tyrion and Cersei.

She carefully raised her book to hopefully cover the majority of her face and prayed for the earth to swallow her whole but it was too late.  Tyrion sent a small smile and slight wave in her direction from behind his step-sister's back, but even the small movement was caught by Cersei and she stared at where Brienne was sitting in smug satisfaction. 

"Brienne is it?" Cersei asked sweetly, sitting down before she was offered the place. She was perfectly put together, Brienne realised as she glanced at the older girl, her dress fell in curves and lines emphasising all her womanly attributes, nails manicured and painted unlike Brienne's own which were bitten down to the quick. Even Cersei's make up was so good you couldn't even tell she had any on, other than the thick dark lines around her eyes. For someone who was so pretty on the outside, it was such a shame that Cersei's blood ran icy cold in her veins.

Tyrion grimaced in apology and took the seat on Brienne's other side.

 _Into the lions den,_ Brienne thought as she watched Cersei smile.

"I know you've been spending a lot of time with our dear Jaime and I'm so happy he's found a new friend. He's always found it so difficult to pick up new friends."

Her tone was so deliberate, so steady, Brienne felt herself tense waiting for the sucker punch she knew was coming.

"Tyrion, would you excuse us for a second?" Cersei asked, leaving no doubt that it wasn't a question at all. He left with a small sad smile and took a seat at a table nearby.

"Just between us girls", the pretty blonde began, ice dangerously dripping from the final word, "I just wanted to remind you of something." Cersei was almost whispering now and Brienne hated herself for having to lean in to listen.

"Jaime is mine. He will always be mine. I was his first love, his epic romance and he will come back. He will always come back to me", Cersei spoke ever so slowly, letting Brienne catch every syllable.

"You broke his heart", Brienne whispered staring into her cup.

"Excuse me?", there was a rise in Cersei's voice as she realised that the ugly girl wasn't going to be so much of a pushover this time. 

"You broke his heart", Brienne repeated, louder this time, allowing herself to raise her head and stare Cersei down. 

Cersei blanched, though two angry little spots of colour flared to life on her cheeks, "I don't know who you think you are..."

"I'm Brienne Tarth and I'm Jaime's friend", she felt bolder all of a sudden especially as she saw Tyrion heading back towards them. "I don't care that he probably still feels something for you, but I do care that you seem determined to try and destroy the good in him". Brienne felt the tears prickle behind her eyes but she blinked them away quickly.

"He'll discard you when he gets tired of looking at you"

"Maybe. But I have other friends who don't give a damn that I'll never be in the pages of Elle", she was trying to stay calm, anticipating Cersei's reactions was very much like anticipating Jaime's when he was in a bad mood. They both had that same undercurrent of spite, though Jaime's was a lot easier to diffuse.

"Maybe?", Cersei paused, sounding astonished but pressed her advantage, her face staying terribly calm as her words coiled like a noose, "You're a little in love with him aren't you?"

Brienne felt the tears prickle again, filling her eyes but staying put for now.

"He could never love you", the last word was a slap, a punch to Brienne's gut that physically hurt.

"I would say he needs to make that decision for himself", Tyrion placed a hand on Brienne's shoulder in defence but Cersei was thoroughly wound up now.

"Do you lie in bed at night and dream of him coming to save you from your pathetic life?" 

 _No, I lie in bed and listen to him breathe,_ Brienne thought, an unwanted whisper of a smile beginning in her eyes.

Cersei saw the change and, assuming she'd won, took her final shot. "Thank you. Perhaps now we can forget this 'mishap' and return to our normal circles"

"Maybe you don't know him as well as you think", Brienne blurted out. She was actually sad for Cersei and the misplaced envy, but in her naïveté hadn't realised that those words could be misunderstood.

"You're lying. He's not... He wouldn't..."

"Well he's not sleeping in his own bed", Tyrion spoke as if it was a matter of fact, his hand squeezing into Brienne's shoulder.

If her life had been a cartoon, Brienne would have expected Cersei to blow up and disappear into a puff of smoke, though in reality the blonde just huffed, clearly outmatched now Tyrion had entered the fight, spinning on her designer heels and headed straight out into the street.

"You didn't have to say that", Brienne told Tyrion as he took a seat at her table.

"I didn't but I wanted to. Gods know, you've been one of the few bright spots in my brother's life recently, though if I hear your name one more time..." Tyrion trailed off in mock anger.

Brienne blushed deeply, "That's not true...?"

"Are you sure?"

Tyrion left her with that thought as he began to head out to where his step-sister had climbed into their waiting car, steaming in anger in the back seat. “And Brienne, you really should stop by your unofficial birthday party", he paused, considering his next words, "You know I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy."

"Said Jordan Baker to Nick Carroway. You like Fitzgerald?", Brienne smiled at the quote.

"I like The Great Gatsby. Maybe you can put the privacy to good use."

                                                                                                       ***********

"Brother, I thoroughly approve of your new girlfriend", Tyrion announced as he entered Jaime's bedroom, surprising his older brother who had been sitting on the floor, feet up against the wall, reading something that looked suspiciously like coursework.

"Which one? If you listen to the right people I'm dating two or three new girls a week."

"Brienne."

Tyrion smirked as he watched a light burn deep in Jaime's eyes before it transferred to a wide smile, all before Jaime himself had realised it had happened.

"We're not dating" Jaime stated, fighting off the smile, though the word 'yet' hung heavy in the air.

"She's coming to the party tomorrow", Tyrion told him.

"It's her birthday, how in gods name did you manage to persuade..." Jaime trailed off muttering something under his breath about ghost-mice and light bulbs.

Tyrion smiled, "And when she stays the night, please try and keep it down in the morning."

Jaime looked at his little brother, slightly confused.

"My hangover will be bad enough without having to listen to you two scream each others names", Tyrion finished, laughing as he ducked the pillow Jaime threw at his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all the lovely comments. I have no plans on finishing this anytime soon but I'm not sure how much longer I can drag out them not being together.
> 
> Next chapter should be up in another few days.
> 
> As usual all comments are loved and appreciated. Thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter Nine: The ghosts that we knew will flicker from view (And we'll live a long life.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dream, a punch and a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes my take on Jaime's dream in ASOS and a punch from AFFC so there are a few lines taken directly from the books which fitted in with the AU, so as usual anything you recognise is not mine.
> 
> The first line of the chapter is in homage to Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier from the first line of the novel.
> 
> Title is from The Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford and Sons

That night he dreamt he went to Casterley again.

Not Casterley House, the Lannister's gift to Kings College many years ago, but instead the estate from which it was named. An ancient mansion house hidden away from prying eyes, deep in the countryside. Jaime hadn't dreamt of anything so vivid since his time in the hospital, fighting infection and a dangerously high temperature. In all of his dreams, his right hand was strong again, no bandages or titanium pins required to keep him from flexing his fingers and feeling the strength return. It was the sheer feeling that got to him, it felt so real it was always disappointing to wake up and find he was still lacking. 

That night he was out in one of the back paddocks, on the clearest moonlit night he had ever witnessed. _It was never like this normally_ , something spoke to him from the back of his mind, _there were always security lights to overpower anything natural_. It used to keep him awake as a young child, watching the lights turn on and off when all the woodland animals would come onto the lawns. 

Penned in by a jury of cloaked figures, his father curiously missing from the judges position, Jaime began to turn to face each of his guards in turn. "Who are you?", he asked, "What business do you have here?"

Cersei, as if appearing from nowhere, began to walk towards him, the moonlight enhancing her ethereal beauty. _She was always beautiful_ , he thought, _and always seconds away from being deadly_. The circle parted for her and then she was within touching distance. 

 _No_ , Jaime thought as she stepped closer, though his body still yearned for her warmth. 

"Why have you brought me here?", he asked his step-sister, the cloaked figures around them now turning and showing their faces as the portraits of all the great Lannister's that decorated the hallway stairs.

"Brought you here?", she sounded amused, "This is your place. Your darkness."

The moon cut out momentarily as clouds moved to cover the light. His ancestors took it as a cue to leave, abandoning him to the dark. "Cersei!", Jaime yelled out after her retreating figure, "Don't leave me here." He wondered why he was so afraid, this was his home, he knew every inch of the place. There were no demons here, only ghosts of whispers long ago and a forbidden love that had withered outside it's less than nurturing walls.

"Alone?", she mocked mercilessly, "Don't you already have what you need." 

She gestured behind him and he turned to see Brienne. The moonlight returned and Jaime realised she was naked, her fencing épée in her hand. _In this light she could almost be a beauty_ , he thought as the shadowy silver streaks of light hit her frame and softened her shape ever so slightly.

"You don't have long", Cersei promised from over her shoulder, disappearing along with the rest of his family.

"Long until what?" he asked to the encroaching darkness.

"What do you keep out here?", Brienne asked him, tensing in the unknown open.

"Horses mainly."

"Well then, there's nothing to be afraid of", she put her hand on his shoulder, the warmth of her not making sense in the cold air. But it wasn't horses that came.

Aerys Targaryen, in fencing whites with his silver-blond hair flowing free, glowed in the moonlight as he approached. Slashing and laughing, he came at Jaime who had been left unarmed by the ghostly memory of Cersei. It was Brienne who stepped between the two men, deflecting the thrust with some effort. Jaime had never really seen her like this, against a decent partner she was formidable but against a great one she was almost unstoppable as if she was raising her game to make sure she would win. Jaime lost count of the number of parries she made, stubborn in her desire to push back Aerys.  But he knew it would never be enough, Targaryen would always be able to pull something out of his bag of tricks, to attack and feint providing Brienne a mockery of a chance to come out of the fight victorious. And it would never be right, Aerys' weapon would turn sharp, almost a sword, taking Jaime out as he stepped in front of the freckled blonde before it could cut her down.

He woke to a pounding heart, the faint taste of copper on his tongue and the buzzing of his phone.

"What?" he grumbled as his heart slowed, hitting the answer button on the screen and rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"You sound like you've just woken up", Brienne told him quietly but with very little softness in her tone, "You do realise it's nearly noon."

Jaime stretched and let out an involuntary moan down the phone. To Brienne's credit, she didn't miss a beat.

"I left you on the floor but I take it my bed's as comfortable as you remember".

"I dreamed of you."

"Oh." 

Jaime swore he could actually hear her blush down the phone, and his smile that resulted from it pushed away the dread of the earlier nightmare.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, it wasn't like that. Although", he heard her breath catch very slightly, "You may have been naked."

"Jaime!"

He allowed a smirk to tug at the corner of his mouth and for a second he imagined her as in the dream, luminous,  powerful, almost beautiful and willing beneath his hands, pleading with him in that same exasperated tone. But it passed almost as easily as it had arrived, preventing the downward blood rush Jaime had been expecting.

He swallowed. Hard. "Happy birthday by the way. I've got you a present but it will have to wait until tonight."

"I thought I told you I didn't need anything."

"It's a birthday, it's not about what you need. It's about what you want."

"I don't _want_ a party."

"Tough. You're getting one." Jaime certainly heard Brienne roll her eyes at that point.

"Will you be there when I get back?" she asked, her tone softening ever so slightly.

"Maybe, I haven't decided yet", he turned over in her bed and pulled the phone down beside him onto the pillow.

"You should go to class."

He let out a huff of breath.

"If you don't go to class you'll never graduate."

"If I graduate you'll miss me too much."

                                                                                            ********

Brienne looked down at her phone, Jaime had hung up again without a goodbye. It had become a bad habit that neither of them really said hello or goodbye to each other anymore, every conversation was just treat like a continuation of the last one.

"Boyfriend trouble?" the redhead in the front seat of the minibus asked out of the window.

Brienne shook her head as she carefully counted and re-counted the chattering teenagers in the back of the bus. Jon had probably already done it as he had taken his seat next to the victorious Arya but Brienne wanted to make sure before setting off. "Party trouble", she told the Scottish girl as she sat down beside her and started the engine. Although she didn't know Ygritte Wilde, Jon's girlfriend, very well she had been an absolute natural on the paintball range and in the end had been the second last person standing.

"I rarely have parties in my bed", Ygritte told her, "Unless Jon's invited."

Brienne regarded the older girl solemnly, "It's a long story."

"Well we've got a long drive if you wanted to talk."

Over the chatter behind her Brienne could hear Arya boasting to Jon about her win, "Face, tits, balls. I hit 'em right where I wanted", and the blonde found herself smiling.

If only parties made her feel the same way.

                                                                                               *********

"Is she back yet?" Sansa asked as Margaery glanced out the window of their front room.

"Not yet. When did Arya text again?"

Sansa checked her phone, "Twelve minutes ago."

"Give it another three at least", Margaery settled back down into her seat and began to read the magazine on her lap.

"You do realise Jaime knows what you're, sorry _we're_ , doing right?" Margaery glanced at Sansa who was now sat on the floor trying to watch the tv.

"What?" Sansa looked up at the ceiling just in case Jaime was still there and would be able to hear the conversation and then across at her friend sharply, who was flicking through her magazine nonchalantly, "How?"

"We haven't been exactly subtle. Don't worry though he'll not say anything."

"What makes you say that?" Sansa sounded concerned

Margaery lowered her voice to a whisper, "Because he loves her. But he loves winding her up equally as much."

"God, they infuriate me! I wish they would just kiss already!"

"Who do you want to kiss already?" Brienne popped her head unexpectedly around the door, blue streaks still in her hair from the paintball game.

Sansa pointed at the tv, "Don't you just hate it when people who are meant to be together just can't see it?"

"Sure", Brienne replied slowly, "But real life doesn't always give you as many happy endings as you want."

Sansa nodded, but inside she was almost exploding with bottled emotion. "It doesn't mean I can't want it for everyone though."

Brienne considered this and smiled down at her friend before heading upstairs to soothe her blossoming bruises and wash off the leftover paint.

                                                                                            **********

Brienne would have been happy just to spend the rest of the day asleep. She had at least half a dozen bruises to come tomorrow but for now the power of pressurised hot water had eased her into a welcome contentment. The paint in her hair, where she'd been ambushed by Gendry Waters, had almost washed out but the straw like texture had absorbed a little of the blue dye. She decided it was a mark of a teenage rebellion that she never went through and it would wash out eventually. Sadly though, her rest was to be short-lived.

"Brienne?" she heard Margaery come up to the other side of the bathroom door, "We made lunch if you're hungry"

Her stomach rumbled in answer.

                                                                                           *********

Sansa, in her innocent wisdom and overexcitement, had decided to move up Brienne's original cake and presents plan to lunchtime. Which is how the three of them had ended up sitting around their kitchen table, slightly tipsy on the bottle of pink champagne that Brienne's dad had sent for her birthday at two in the afternoon.

"If you continue drinking like this, you're not even going to make Tyrion's party", Brienne noted as Margaery re-filled her own glass for a second time. The blonde girl was sensibly only half way through her first.

"I can't believe your dad sent  _pink_ champagne", Sansa told Brienne with a hiccup, "It's not very you is it?"

"Are you referring to the pink part or the champagne part?" Brienne drawled

Margaery and Sansa both burst into simultaneous laughter.

"What?" 

"If I hadn't seen your lips move I would have sworn that Jaime Lannister had spoken those words", Margaery giggled.

Wide eyed Brienne covered her mouth with her hands.

Sansa and Margaery exchanged a look and then looked back at the blonde. "Sorry", they whispered in unison.

"Can we talk about something else?" Brienne asked.

"Sure", Margaery agreed, "Whatever you want. It's your day after all."

Brienne looked from one of her friends to the other and took a deep breath. She focused back on Sansa, "I think your sister might actually be an assassin in training."

"What did she do now?" Sansa sighed, reaching for her glass again.

                                                                                                          *********

Tyrion's parties had become legendary on campus. When word got around it always felt to Jaime like half of the student body would turn up and promptly try to destroy his home. Tonight was no different, as he barely recognised most of the faces milling around the ground floor rooms Tyrion had set aside for the party, and had retreated to the relative quiet of the kitchen to badly play cards with Ilyn Payne and Addam Marbrand, two members of his former basketball team.

"Is it true this is where the Tarth girl kicked the asses of Vargo Hoat's gang?"

Jaime looked up from the disaster of spades in front of him to realise the voice was directed at him. A large young man with flaming red hair and beard was looking at him with interest.

"Here? No it was..." Jaime was cut off before he could explain.

"She must have looked even more manly than normal in all that costume armour", he laughed and Jaime couldn't join in with merriment as the young man insulted his friend.

"Deal me out", Jaime tossing his cards to Addam before addressing the unwelcome guest, "You're talking like you know her."

He offered Jaime his hand, "Ron Connington. We went to high school together. She practically threw herself at me, stupid ugly sl-"

He didn't get a chance to finish as Jaime stood up from the table and cracked a left hook into the other mans jaw which left Connington on the floor, blood pooling in his mouth.

" _She_ has a name. You'd be wise to call her Brienne in the future."

"Brienne", Connington spat out a mouthful of blood, "Brienne the Beauty."

And then at quite possibly the worst possible moment, the girl in question entered the fray. Jaime saw her look at the card table and then at Connington bleeding on the floor, confusion wrinkling her brow. She didn't expect him to be here, he realised. 

"Seems like this time you're too late to save me from doing something stupid", Jaime joked as Brienne stood in front of them, hands on hips, blue eyes blazing and completely speechless.

"Get out", she told the bleeding man eventually, not even looking at Jaime. "Just get out." 

Jaime caught Connington glaring as he collected his friends from one of the other rooms and headed to the front door.

He took two steps towards Brienne and despite a hundred questions running through his head, he only dropped his voice and asked, "Were you and Connington ever...?"

"Is that what he said?" she answered in a similar low voice and shook her head violently, Jaime noticing tiny blue flecks of colour moving in amongst her straw blonde hair. "What an ass! There was a bet, him and his friends thought it would be funny to try and get into my pants."

The last sentence was almost a whisper, he noted, and her embarrassment was clear even if she looked foaming mad on top of it.

She shoved her palms into his biceps, _a little harder than totally necessary,_ Jaime thought, and manoeuvred him out to the garden before she spoke again, perfectly calm.

"I don't need you punching out every jerk who was mean to me in high school. I can defend myself quite easily."

"I know that."

She looked away from him, "I broke Connington's nose when we were fourteen."

"That's my girl", Jaime bumped his rapidly swelling left hand into her shoulder.

"You shouldn't even be punching anyone when you've got one hand still in plaster", Brienne scolded as she caught his hand in hers before he could move it away from her shoulder, and Jaime thought he could hear a note of concern in her voice amongst the anger.

Jaime shrugged, "You know I don't think that sensibly."

She turned over his palm, running her fingertips over the knuckles where swelling had already begun to rise against the bone. "It must have been one hell of a hit"

That time he definitely caught something other than rage in her voice. _Pride maybe_ , he thought.

Brienne traced her fingers across again, her skin softer than Jaime thought possible, and then in one smooth movement brought his hand up to her chapped lips. He winced and she froze. "Sorry"

"No, don't apologise", Jaime grinned, letting her catch him bite down on his lower lip coyly before continuing, "I liked it. It was... nice." He was beginning to feel a lot of things and not one of them was in his hand.

Brienne caught his eye for a second and he saw a spark there before she looked away. "I need to get some ice", she stuttered, moving away from him, "For the swelling."

"It's already swollen" he told her, "There's no need to leave. Again."

"Is there ever a time when you're not trying to get a reaction from me?"

"I'll stop when you admit that you like it."

"Do you think I like the fact that you always have an answer for everything? That you commandeered my bed? Or that you still call me 'wench' on occasion?"

"I don't think you like it. I think you love it."

"Well I don't".

"Are you sure?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course I'm sure."

Jaime pouted, sticking out his bottom lip, "Spoilsport."

                                                                                     **********

Brienne wasn't sure if she'd ever met anyone who irritated her more than Jaime Lannister. Standing in front of her with his lip sticking out like an invite, she wasn't sure if she wanted to slap him or kiss him.

She chose the later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave it there but there will be more to come. (I'm back to work full time now so it may be a little while before another update, but it will come!)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read, left kudos or commented on any of the chapters! I really do appreciate you taking the time to do this and I hope you have enjoyed the story so far.


	10. Chapter Ten: Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight (I need help believing you're with me tonight)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne makes her move, Jaime finds he rather likes it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another insomnia fueled chapter of pure fluff
> 
> Title is from As Long As You're Mine from the musical Wicked

Brienne wondered when exactly being around Jaime had made her loose track of her senses enough so that pressing her lips to his in that moment seemed like the best possible option.

The dreams weren't helping her rational mind, the ones where Jaime would come to her, wanting her despite everything that wasn't pretty, and she would let him kiss her head to toe and back again. She would wake up sweaty and unsatisfied those mornings, made all the more difficult by the fact Jaime was usually only feet away from her, almost close enough to touch. But even deep in her dreams, she knew they were little more than fantasies and those rarely came true for anyone.

So she hoped as she grazed his lips with her chapped ones, that if she had stepped out of line, if his weeks of cocked eyebrows and escalating flirty glances were all another dimension to their sparring games and not an indication of something else, then he would be able to forgive and forget her moment of craziness. Though as this was Jaime, she had probably just wittingly given him enough ammunition to keep him verbally sparring with her for many more months to come. If nothing else she had at least managed to shut him up for longer than usual with no violence required.

In her inexperience, this was only her second real kiss and the first one didn't  count for much in her head, Brienne found she didn't know what to do with her hands. She had slipped one around the back of Jaime's neck, fingers stroking the shorter hair there, but the other stayed frozen to her side. Even though she had been the one to step closer, the one to instigate this kiss, there was still a part of her that was too nervous to pull him against her with anything close to need, though she knew in that moment she wanted to.

It was over quickly, her lips pressed for one second, two seconds, catching the corner of his mouth and raking his stubble across her upper lip before she pulled away. Jaime still hadn't moved, he hadn't pushed her away but he hadn't pulled her closer either, hadn't parted his lips to deepen the kiss like the promises of her dreams. 

She flushed, breathing hard, and waited for him to speak.

He didn't say a word.

Brienne knew Jaime wouldn't forget anything the second he looked fully at her, his green eyes huge, pupils dilating in the low light. Surprise ran across his face, like she had expected, as he traced his lips with his tongue, but there was no disgust or shame along for the ride. And he was completely speechless. 

For a single second.

"You kissed me", he told her, almost a question as he tasted his lips a second time, "You kissed me." There was an emphasis on each word as he spoke slowly, his smile stretching out into a grin.

Brienne felt her heart stutter, Jaime looked stunned but there was amusement twinkling in his features and she wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do next.

"I... I didn't think..." she replied, turning her head away from him, hopeful that in the dim light he wouldn't see the colouration of her face.

"Yes you did. I've never seen you do anything you hadn't put some serious thought into first. In fact", he waved his almost visibly throbbing left hand under her nose and Brienne felt like her freckles were disappearing as unwanted heat bloomed. "That's the second kiss you've given me tonight."

His voice dropped dangerously low and Brienne's stomach went with it, "Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

She found that she didn't have enough words left in her head to respond.

                                                                                                                     ***********

If after their first meeting, all that time ago, anyone would have told Jaime that one day he would be reduced to momentary speechlessness as the oversize, unattractive, ridiculously stubborn blonde girl known as Brienne Tarth attempted to kiss him to stop their bickering, he would have assumed it could be only related to a deep seated repulsion. At that time he would have laughed in their faces, possibly for a longer time than was entirely called for. Before physiotherapy appointments, before Hoat, before Brienne, his desire had fuelled him to do many a crazy thing to show his love and the first moment he'd stepped up and embraced something honourable, ended with his name being spoken in hushed voices.

 _"People don't change",_ his father had told him when a long enough time had passed since his altercation with Aerys and he was finally allowed to return to campus, _"They just learn to hide their intentions better_." But on that night, standing, waiting, watching, Jaime thought he'd finally found a situation to contest that theory.

Only her eyes could ever be truly considered beautiful, he couldn't insult Brienne's intelligence to admit otherwise, especially as she flushed endearingly tomato red. But he was completely fascinated by her and he had been for a long time.

In fact, Jaime Lannister had probably been falling for his best friend for weeks, months, and he'd been desperately waiting for Brienne to catch up to him.

He hadn't quite realised what was happening until Brienne took a step towards him, blue eyes still simmering from her earlier anger, dipping her head and pressing her lips to his. It was possibly the most chaste kiss Jaime had ever received, the only jolt coming when she hit a sensitive spot at the corner of his mouth as if she had decided to chicken out at the last second and aim for his cheek instead. Her lips, though chapped, held an unexpected softness which chafed against the short golden hairs growing around his mouth, each follicle caught by her tentative touch sending a hit of endorphins to his swimming head. It was heading towards being surprisingly arousing to a man who'd been celibate for longer than he probably would like to admit. Then she pulled away, much too soon for Jaime's liking. He wanted her back pretty much the second she stopped touching him.

He had to tilt his head to be able to see into her opening eyes, which was an odd position for him, though not entirely unpleasant as it granted him an amazing view of her best aesthetic feature before she turned away. Her earlier fire extinguishing being replaced by trepidation. The world around them came shuddering to an uneasy silence as Jaime regarded Brienne. The fluorescent light reflected through the kitchen window lent her blushing skin a strange luminous tone, and Jaime was reminded of the warrior in his dream. He felt goosebumps prickle down the back of his neck as he considered his next words, knowing the longer he stayed quiet the more likely she was to flee. But he teased and he prodded anyway until she was as red in the face as he'd ever seen her and quite possibly pissed off at him once more.

She was quiet again, turning away from him when she finally answered his question about forgiveness with yet another question.

"Does it matter? You can't go more than a few days without doing something stupidly impulsive."

"Look who's talking!"

Brienne turned to stare him down and Jaime felt like he was drowning in blue. "One impulsive moment", she corrected firmly, "And you told me my birthday was about what..." she trailed off as if only then did she remember the end of that particular sentence.

"You wanted", Jaime finished smugly, "You wanted to kiss me."

She didn't look away that time, though he thought she was probably fighting that impulse as another overrode it. Instead there was a tiny jerk of her head and a single mouthed word. Yes.

"Gods Brienne, what took you so long?"

She regarded Jaime with amazement as he reached for her, manoeuvring her closer and pulling her head down to his eager mouth.

"I've been wanting to do this since New Years Eve", he murmured, cupping her face before closing the distance between them.

                                                                                                              **********

If the first kiss had been a rising swell, the second was rapidly turning into a crashing wave. Jaime was taking it slow, allowing her to catch up, meeting maiden embraces with a firm reassurance that she wasn't doing every wrong. Each fumble, each knock was caught strongly and soon she was allowing him to lick past her lips, into her mouth, their tongues meeting and caressing softly.

His hand had travelled from her face, all the way down her back and was now pushing up her sweater to find the skin underneath. By the time he got there, cold fingers tracing patterns across warm skin Brienne inadvertently let out a hiss of contentment as she moved one of her own hands from his hair to fist in his shirt. 

The stubble at his chin scratched at her sensitive skin as he trailed kisses down her neck to the hollow at her collarbone, marking her intermediately as he sucked spots into his mouth, hard enough to bruise. She pressed herself against him, meeting each touch with growing strength and determination, lips and teeth and tongues battling as their kisses turned fierce. Jaime's mouth on hers pulled out the type of breathy sighs she didn't know she could even produce, him groaning back at her, a growl deep in his chest that rumbled through her adding to the pool of heat that had taken up residence in her lower abdomen. 

Brienne could have stayed there all night, revelling in the way he just seemed to fit perfectly against her, his mouth ripping tiny sounds out of her throat as he kissed her again and again. She could have stayed there all night just learning how best to kiss him if there hadn't been a knock on the window behind them.

                                                                                                                       **********

Jaime was beginning to think they needed to slow down or move this inside, his jeans becoming far too tight as Brienne pressed against him, preferably somewhere he didn't have to worry about breaking public decency laws or frostbite. But he didn't get a chance to express his growing discomfort before a short clap and the sound of bone on glass was heard in the garden.

"I think we need to go inside now", Jaime panted as he broke apart from Brienne, making sure to keep a hold of her hand, their breath coming in short puffs of fog in the rapidly cooling night. 

His brother waved at him from behind the glass, a knowing smile on his face, flanked by Sansa Stark and Margaery Tyrell.

                                                                                                                 **********

They were greeted with an avalanche of silly string and a chorus of whistles as they made their way back into the kitchen, both flushed and breathing hard.

Sansa, giggly drunk, threw her arms around Brienne declaring, "When I turn 21 I want a beautiful man to make out with too."

Brienne giggled back, a pretty but unfamiliar noise coming from her, and Jaime instantly wondered what he could do to recreate that at a later date.

Tyrion stepped up to him before he could get anywhere close to working it out, and whispered "Quiet please in the morning", covering his ears and clutching his head in mock agony. Jaime shoved his brother away, both laughing as they caught the look Brienne sent them from across the room while she hugged Margaery briefly.

 

Brienne was shy again when she made her way back to him, exchanging a gentle kiss before he found her hand again. "You'll understand why I can't stay", she told Jaime, looking down at the floor as if she hadn't spent the last half hour glued against him.

He grinned predatorily across at her, determined not to send her running.  _Now_ , Jaime thought, _was not the time to tease_.

"It was nice though", her smile was intoxicating and Jaime found he couldn't stop himself from joining in.

"Another time then", he took her hand and brought it to his mouth, echoing her earlier move.

"And Jaime, you'll also understand why you can't sleep in my bed again until I actually invite you to."

"You won't be able to keep your hands off me."

She elbowed him in the ribs but he only laughed. "Happy Birthday, Wench."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was easily the most difficult to write, so I hope it was readable and not too silly or cliche!
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments are adored and keep me writing!


	11. Chapter Eleven: There's nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game (It's easy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well apparently I'm still writing this, this chapter is more exposition than anything else but I'm still working out where the story is ultimately going!
> 
> Chapter title is from All You Need Is Love by The Beatles
> 
> Last phrase is from Shakespeare's Henry V

It had taken Brienne about a week to come down from the initial giddy high that seemed to accompany the feeling of being wanted romantically, a week of stolen kisses in-between classes, feather light touches that brought tears to her eyes and a newly found vigour to their disagreements that usually ended with either her or Jaime breathlessly pinned to a wall. It was a feeling she had reserved for childish daydreams a long time ago and a feeling that she certainly was not going to let Jaime know about. In fact since their initial session in the garden, Brienne had tried to prevent anymore major public displays of affection. Jaime, as usual, didn't seem to care what everyone else thought. 

She had even resorted to raiding Margaery's make up bag to borrow cover up for the love bites he enjoyed leaving where people would be able to see them. Brienne had tried to return the favour, return the embarrassment, but he had simply unbuttoned his shirt slightly and shown them off like a badge of pride. Somedays she didn't quite know what to do with him.

Jaime had been waiting outside for her after her senior options seminar that day, a ray of light after two hours of listening to the ins and outs of how the system worked. Brienne had picked all her classes out freshman year, with neat stars in the margins of the photocopied handbook, and it had been pinned up alongside pages of sports fixtures for years. She had mixed and matched her classes as she'd been told to by her personal tutor, Professor Goodwin, but Medieval History was the whole reason she'd come to Kings College. She'd enjoyed Shakespeare, Dickens to a point, but mention the Crusades or The Black Death and she was hooked. The misogyny of the era left a bad taste in her mouth at times, but then she'd find another biography on Joan of Arc and it would be momentarily dissipated. Even Jaime had liked her Medieval Literature class readings, although he had borrowed her books and not returned them, sneaking into the back of the lecture theatre to listen to the talk they had on Dante's Inferno.  

"I've been summoned", Jaime told her, uncharacteristically moody, as he greeted her outside the lecture theatre, removing her notebook from her hand and beginning to flick through it.

"Summoned where?" she asked as she tried to wrestle her notes back, failing quite spectacularly as her hands hit his chest and she got distracted for a second.

"Are you sure you're not 13?" he asked her and she found Brienne couldn't follow his conversational tangent. "What with the lack of kissing and the doodles."

He kissed her so softly she barely felt it as she snatched back her notebook. As they broke apart he was smiling.

"You've drawn tiny horses in all your margins. Very neat tiny horses. Were you actually bored in class for once or was my presence simply distracting you?"

"Summoned where?" she repeated, making sure she didn't smile back.

"So you were distracted."

"No." _No more than usual,_ she thought.

He took a breath before he continued, scuffing his shoes as they started walking, "My father has requested my presence at Sunday lunch."

"That's... unusual", Brienne was going to say nice but then she remembered her first and only meeting with Tywin Lannister. 

Tywin Lannister was the deputy vice-chancellor of Kings College, the right hand man to the person in charge of the daily running of the place and holder of the purse strings. He was most definitely the only reason Jaime was in his fifth year of a four year course with a sixth year looming. Jaime's father had probably only visited once or twice during the time his son was in the hospital, although one of those times coincided with a day Brienne had come to hang out with Jaime and Tyrion. Tywin had taken one look at her, Batman t-shirt and dirty sneakers on top of everything else, and had told her firmly that Jaime was not to receive visitors. His second look had made her feel about three feet tall as she exited the ward. 

"Unusual? That's not what I said."

Brienne could well imagine.

"Anyway", he continued, "Since Tyrion's off gods knows where I thought it would be nice to have a bit of moral support."

"Which would work if you had any."

"We can't all be as virtuous as Saint Tarth, you know", he looked up at her, "My morals are..."

"Hazy?" she offered

"Selfish", he countered before meeting her lips fiercely.

That time she did push him off, they were in a corridor as students spent the ten minutes between classes scurrying to their next location. "Not here", she hissed as him, knowing she was about two seconds away from reddening. 

Jaime regarded her for a moment too long, happy now following his earlier mood, and she knew he had pushed that embrace into passionate just to get a reaction from her.  "So", he told her, watching her face for colour changes, "I thought that maybe you could come with me at the weekend."

"To meet your father?"

"To assist me when I do something rash. That's your strong point right?"

"He won't like me."

"Probably true."

"So why do you want me there?"

"Because I like you."

She paused, Jaime really did have a way with one-liners but that was a little too cheesy, even if there was a more than a morsel of truth in it. "I'm not falling for that."

"You already are."

Luckily they'd reached the room of the next seminar by that time as Brienne was beginning to come to the end of her retorts.  "Do I need to bring anything?" She sighed, remembering her manners.

Jaime shook his head, "But..."

"Out with it."

"There's a dress code. You'll probably need a dress."

"A what?"

"A dress. Not the blue one though", he gestured at her legs, "Too much for Sunday lunchtime."

She stood silently fuming at the fact that he was making her consider wearing a dress for only the second time since her first growth spurt.

"Hey why aren't you taking this class anyway?" he spun back to face her in the doorway, "Qyburn's insane but it's all authentic medieval gore in History of Medicine."

She waved goodbye to him as she walked away, her mind going back and forth. Tywin Lannister. Dress. And the funny thing was she thought the second one would always be far more intimidating.

                                                                                                                *******

Today, Brienne thought that she may actually hate the Lannister's. _All of them and their stupid dress code rules_. If Jaime had been there, which he was thankfully not, she would have thought that this was just another type of torture he found amusing. She'd take a blow with a fencing blade any day over Saturday afternoon in a department store. And if he didn't make her feel legitimately warm and fuzzy at times then she wouldn't have even stepped into the shop.

Sansa and Margaery and their amazing perceptive abilities, or more likely a text from the man in question, had decided to accompany her into hell. This was their world not her's after all, though she made them promise nothing pink before settling down in a leather chair outside the changing rooms, letting them do the running around. They threw armfuls of clothes at her as she dismissed around ninety per cent of them without a second glance. It left Brienne with about three suggestions, none of which she deemed wholly appropriate for the situation.

"Can we just go home now?" she asked the girls standing on the other side of the dressing room door.

"One outfit", Margaery promised, "Then we can go wherever you want."

Brienne grabbed the first dress to hand, a striped blue on blue thing that would have been floor length on Margaery but ended up somewhere around her knees. 

"Is it supposed to be this tight?" she asked as she opened the door.

"Wow", Margaery breathed.

"Wow", Sansa agreed.

"No."

She studied her reflection for a second, it wasn't bad but it wasn't her. And it certainly wasn't what she wanted to wear going into battle with Tyrion Lannister. In the end she bought black slacks. 

                                                                                                                     *********

The doorbell rang almost fifteen minutes before Jaime had confirmed he'd be arriving to pick her up. _Early with him was always a bad omen_ , Brienne thought.

He greeted her with a kiss hard enough to bruise, and she wondered if maybe they could just skip the whole afternoon and instead spend it on her bed minus a few clothes. "Upstairs?", she whispered as he pulled back to rest his forehead against hers, enjoying his momentary pupil movement as he realised what she was suggesting. Brienne was rewarded with another meeting of his lips against hers as he shut the door behind him with his foot. He kept this one slow, sensual, and she was soon shivering against his touch and purring into his mouth. Her hands had disappeared under his shirt, grasping at the muscles there as she pulled him closer, wrestling control back. She had just taken a step up onto the bottom step to head upstairs when Jaime's phone rang.

He reluctantly moved out of her reach as Brienne stood taking deep breaths on the staircase. "Cersei", he said and Brienne's heart pounded again, this time for an entirely different reason, "Yes I'm on my way now."

 _They don't know I'm coming,_ she thought, immediately disliking the underhandness that seemed to run in Jaime's family. Well if she was going as 'moral' support she had something that might just help Jaime make it out in one piece. Leaving the hallway, Jaime watching her every step, she returned seconds later and held up a bottle of wine she wouldn't drink.

"Good", he replied, "We're gonna need that."

"Is this going to be as bad as I think."

"Worse", he promised, reaching to squeeze her hand into his, "Once more unto the breach dear friend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for reading! 
> 
> Comments are always gratefully received :)
> 
> (I may eventually try to write some proper smut at some time in the future for this, but at the minute I'm liking the build)


	12. Chapter Twelve: I'm trying hard and you need to believe (You didn't bring me up to be a fool)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family dinner and a remembered rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter of this storyline. And it's a monster of a chapter, definitely the longest one I've written. (I don't think I really want to finish this ever!)
> 
> The conversation between Jaime and Tywin in this is based on the conversations in You Win Or You Die and AFFC. There are some quoted parts from the episode and the book as it really was too good to miss within this story.
> 
> Hoat's underground gambling idea is shamelessly borrowed from a storyline in Veronica Mars.
> 
> Title is from Young Heart by We Are The Ocean

Jaime hadn't been surprised that his father had sent a car to pick him up. 

It had been sat ominously outside his house as he and Brienne turned the corner to walk up the gravel drive, meaning that they were at least a few minutes late. He expected their earlier make out session had pushed them behind time. Not that Jaime minded at all, he didn't think he'd ever get used to Brienne's growing enthusiasm when it came to his mouth and hands. As long as she'd closed all the doors first.

If the chauffeur had any reaction to the fact that he was picking up two passengers instead of one he didn't show it, merely opening the back door to the car and nodding a "Ma'am" at Brienne who glowered darkly as she slid into the leather seats. Jaime knew that as soon as the engine started and the panel went up between the two compartments of the car his father would be contacted about the unexpected guest. He just hoped he hadn't selfishly brought Brienne into some of kind of ambush. She currently looked somewhere between furious and petrified beside him, and he guessed that her mood was probably going to get worse by the end of the night.

The forty minute drive passed in relative silence, broken only by Jaime's halting attempts to start any kind of conversation. He was shut down each time as she refused to trade words with him, even when he resorted to a couple of retorts that wouldn't have been out of place during one of their earliest fencing sessions. She didn't, however, push him away when his hand squeezed the muscle above her knee, thumb rubbing small circles as Jaime caught her taking a deep breath in relaxation. "I hope you're not going to be like this all night", he told her, "No one likes the company of a sullen mute."

He was rewarded for his trouble with a sharp elbow at his ribs, but there was also the indication of a half smile forming in her eyes. "I have other ways of making you talk", Jaime whispered, leaning in to kiss a sensitive spot on her neck. Brienne closed her eyes as he made contact, but kept her mouth firmly shut.

"You drive me crazy you know", he muttered into her skin, tracing a group of freckles with his tongue. She pulled him off gently, hand clutching into his hair, as the car slowed, gravel crunching under the wheels.

Jaime pressed the window open, and took in his father's estate in the spring sunshine. It was exactly as he remembered it, large, cold and imposing. Beside him Brienne's mouth was beginning to drop open, her buck teeth becoming more noticeable as the car came to full stop outside a turreted entrance.

"Since we're only five minutes late, would you like the grand tour now?" Jaime quipped as he opened the car door, pulling the speechless girl after him.

                                                                                                                              ********  

Brienne thought that her home on Tarth would have easily fit into one of the Lannister estate's outbuildings as Jaime led her by the hand up and down stairways, taking in secret passages that only children would know about and back out into the fresh air.

He rattled off anecdotes about childhood pranks and half true legends as they snuck in and out of rooms, much to the surprise of some of the house staff. Brienne was pretty sure that her appearance out of a false wall may have caused one of the chefs to drop the chickens that were meant for lunch. At the joint shocked gasps,  Jaime had told her she needed to be more discreet, and after she stared at him and then looked down at herself he burst into laughter. 

"I guess neither of us are any good at being discreet", he guessed before she put a hand over his mouth and dragged him under a staircase to avoid the smartly dressed, willowy brunette who was heading towards them.

By the time they may it out to the stables, Brienne thought she looked like she'd spent the last five minutes rolling around in a pile of dust judging by the residue on her pants and shirt. 

"Honor. Glory", Jaime introduced the horses to her, "This is Brienne Tarth."

"They can't understand you", she replied as she went to greet each of them in turn, loving the way the smells of horse and hay took her back to her own childhood.

"They're very smart animals", Jaime told her, mock serious, "They've had to put up with Cersei for years and neither one of them missed an opportunity to dunk her in the lake."

"You have a lake?"

"We have two actually Miss Tarth", a cool voice behind her interrupted. She saw Jaime stand to attention out of the corner of her eye and prepared herself for the expected onslaught from Tywin Lannister.

"I expect that you would both like to wash up before lunch", he told them, running an eye over their disheveled state. Brienne thought the only way he could look less impressed with the pair of them would have been if he caught them fucking in the hay.

Remembering her manners, she dunked her hands in the nearest water bucket, wiping them on a clean part of her shirt and made to shake Tywin's hand. "Mr Lannister", she said as firmly as she could manage in the situation. He may have been surprised by her move, and Jaime certainly was as his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, but the older man covered it well as he took her hand.

"Miss Tarth. My step-daughter has just been regaling me with tales of how you saved Jaime from himself", he gave her a look that said he knew exactly who she was and that she was most definitely not welcome.

"Maybe you can fill in the gaps over lunch. We have been waiting for you now for over twenty minutes."

Brienne sighed inwardly but followed the two Lannister men into the main house anyway, realising that they probably would notice the horse missing if she stayed in the stable and decided to try and ride away on one of them.

                                                                                                                        **********  
                                                                                                                        **********

"Did you get your invite yet?" Sansa Stark asked as she pulled up a heavy wooden chair beside Brienne at their kitchen bench. Brienne who'd been busy organising the regional junior fencing fixtures made a non committal noise as she fiercely scribbled down dates, surrounded by a flurry of paper and piles of orange post-it notes.

"That's not an answer Brie", Sansa prodded at her friend as she tried to catch her eye, "There's no way you didn't get invited."

Brienne shrugged as she finally looked up from her work, "It doesn't matter if I got the invite or not Sansa, it's not like I'll be going."

"But you have to" Sansa pouted, "Jaime will be expecting you."

It had been over a year now since Jaime Lannister had arrived into her life, a strange year of twice, sometime thrice, weekly sparring sessions where he would cause her headaches with his incessant chatter and bad manners. But at competition level, where he was still banned following the Targaryen incident, he would choose to follow and sit on the sidelines, cheering Brienne on to victory. It was a strange kind of friendship, more a burgeoning respect than anything else, but when he started offering to drive her home after practice as the October nights meant it was getting darker earlier, she almost upgraded him into her small friendship group there and then. She wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that the creep who had interrupted their first practice session last year, Vargo Hoat, had returned to sneaking around and had sent three guys to attack her on her walk home from the gym a week earlier. 

The sessions with Jaime weren't necessarily a secret, Selmy made sure they officially booked out the time in the gym each week, but they were private and she was getting to a point where she preferred not having to share the space with anyone else. Jaime still managed to be an arrogant jerk the majority of the time, someone who couldn't watch what was coming out of his mouth, but she was starting to come around to the fact that maybe there wasn't anything wrong with being friendly.  Though before she had a chance to respond that 'No Jaime Lannister would not be expecting his ugly fencing partner to turn up at his family's ridiculous excuse for a Halloween party', her other roommate entered the kitchen. The brunette took one look at her friends and picked up Sansa's conversation line without missing a beat.

"Sansa's right you know", Margaery began carefully and Brienne's eyes widened waiting for the inevitable persuasion that her friends had down so well. 

"Not about Jaime", Margaery explained as Brienne blanched, "You're going because we're going, and I've asked Loras to bring Renly, so that's four people you know straight away. Five if you count J... he who must not be named", she rolled her eyes, "And your friends are not letting you sit here on your own, all night, even if you swear you have work to do. College is also a social experience you know."

The whole party had to be the sister's idea, Brienne decided, there was no way Jaime or even Tyrion would come up with a 'legends' theme. Cersei had easily loaded the deck to allow herself to dress as Marilyn Monroe or Helen of Troy or whomever she deemed beautiful enough. _I don't even have a costume_ , Brienne thought.

"And we'll find you a kick ass costume" Sansa piped up from the table, phone in hand texting away, as if she could read minds. 

"Oh", Margaery exclaimed, her eyes widening as an idea began to form. "Do you think we get a hold of armour on short notice?"

Brienne knotted her brows in confusion, enquiring carefully as Sansa squealed with excitement. "And why exactly would I need armour?"

"That's perfect! Besides the drama club are sure to have armour in the wardrobe, we could hire it for the night. You'd look awesome."

The girls began talking animatedly as they made more and more plans for their socially awkward friend while Brienne still hadn't caught up to the original idea. Sometimes she thought those two were on another wavelength to normal people. She held up her hands in surrender. "Hold on", she almost yanked Sansa's phone out of her hand as she began to type down ideas. "What exactly are you planning to do to me?"

"It's your costume for the party" Margaery explained, "It's so obvious. You're going as Joan Of Arc."

                                                                                                                                    **********  
                                                                                                                                    **********

Jaime thought he'd never seen Brienne look more uncomfortable as they seated themselves down at the dining room table. It was a huge mahogany square with carved lions heads on the legs that took up almost the entire room, a relic from a bygone age. She had tensed beside him as she took in the place settings, Tywin at the head of the table, two on either of the long sides and one at the bottom, presumably for Jaime. _This couldn't be good,_ he thought as he approached the table, sliding the cutlery to the side so he could take his seat next to his moral support. It wouldn't be much help if he couldn't reach out and feel her presence when things went downhill. And downhill they went rather rapidly.

Cersei, who was still supposed to be on placement for one of her MBA modules, had arrived looking like a runway model and spent the entire first course smirking and looking down her nose across the table at Brienne's decidedly unfeminine outfit. The second course appeared to Jaime as if his father had conveniently forgot that his son only had one working hand, as Jaime chased his meat around the plate with his knife. Brienne, who was slowly telling Tywin about the junior fencing league, didn't even look at him as she reached over and stabbed his food with her fork, holding it still.

Jaime didn't miss the look his step-sister sent his father, but Brienne must have done as she didn't even stop mid-sentence.

"So is this what you want to do with yourself after next year?", Tywin asked, waving his hand in a small circle, "Sports coaching?"

It was an innocent enough question, but Jaime knew that it was probably a ploy to get to a deeper truth.

"I don't know sir", Brienne stuttered, unused to this sort of direct attention, "I was thinking about the police academy but my dad thinks it's a little dangerous."

Cersei smothered a snort into her cup. "It would be more dangerous for the criminals with you out there!"

Brienne flushed angrily and Tywin smiled like a snake as he went in for the kill. "And what does your father do Miss Tarth? Is he a man of great intellect?"

"He's retired now. He was a colonel in the army."

"So your mother raised you then?" Cersei asked, "Did she not teach you that crashing other people's family meals was the height of bad manners?"

"She died when I was very young", Brienne whispered and Jaime made to hook his foot around hers under the table, ankle to ankle, a gesture that only she would be able to feel.

"I invited Brienne", Jaime announced to no one in particular, as she let go of the fork holding his food in place and slouched back in her chair.

"Did you also forget to let her know that we have a standard we like to keep to clothing wise."

"No I didn't. But she doesn't always listen to me", he sent a heart stopping grin in Brienne's direction.

Cersei pursued her lips in response, "So were you raised by wolves then Miss Tarth?"

"I was raised by the village."

"The village?"

Brienne turned to face Jaime directly, blocking out the rest of his family with a rare apologetic look on her face, "My dad was away a lot with the army when I was a kid", she explained, "And I come from a really tiny place, there's only about 100 people on the entire island so they all had a hand in bringing me up. My dad had a revolving wheel of girlfriends that did their best but it didn't really help when I turned out like this."

Jaime had never wanted to kiss a look off her face more than in that second. Brienne looked almost defeated.

Tywin looked victorious. "Island?" he questioned, "You're Selwyn Tarth's daughter! The island of Tarth", he emphasised to Cersei.

Cersei smiled slowly and mouthed two words at Jaime, "Gold-digger."

Jaime fumed but didn't get a chance to respond before his father stood up from the table. 

"I hope you don't mind, but I think it's time for us to call Miss Tarth a cab. We have important family matters to discuss."

Brienne made to push her chair back, but Jaime stopped her, his hand neatly resting on top of hers. "Oh but I insist that Brienne stays."

Tywin and Cersei both glared as Jaime pulled Brienne towards him every so slightly. "Let her hear this, I may need someone as a witness in future in case I do something stupid."

Tywin sighed but continued anyway, "You have a duty to this family Jaime.  You should be here, learning how to manage the legacy you have been given. The time for childish pursuits has long past, especially if such pursuits leave you little more than a cripple. It's the family name that lives on. It's all that lives on. Do you understand?"

"What happens if I don't want your money or your legacy?"

"Lannister's don't act like fools."

Jaime paused, wondering exactly when any of his siblings acted like average, sensible people.

"Don't you have a clever reply for me then? Go on, take your best shot", his father taunted calmly.

Jaime tensed, a vein in his neck throbbing with his pulse.

"Your problem is that you spend far too much time worrying about what other people think of you"

"I don't give a damn what other people think of me."

"And we both know that isn't true."

The silence that followed stretched out for too long, but Jaime couldn't find an appropriate response. "Father?"

"I need you to become the man you were always meant to be. Not next year, not tomorrow, now."

"And if I can't?"

"Very well Jaime, you're excused."

"Father?"

"You've made your choice, go fulfil your duty. And take your ridiculous friend with you before she steals the good silver."

 _That did it_ , Jaime thought.

Brienne stood up beside him, letting go of his hand in the process, "Thank you for the meal", she said quietly to the air before adding, "It appears that you may have heard of the island I grew up on and that somehow it's small size reflects badly on me. I wasn't born into such luxury as you but that doesn't make me a thief or a liar or a whore", she looked pointedly at Cersei and Jaime wondered just how long she had been bottling this all up inside of her. "Mr Lannister, I love your son and I'm happy to take whatever sentence that crime grants me. You called him a cripple earlier, well there are far worse things to be in life."

Jaime was still in such a daze over her choice of words that he didn't catch the next exchange.

"You caused his maiming. You were there."

"As you yourself pointed out, I saved him."

                                                                                                                     **********  
                                                                                                                     **********

Brienne hadn't argued too much with her friends as they found her the biggest suit of armour they could from the drama club wardrobe. She knew they probably had to steal it but she would make sure it was returned, polished, in the morning. It may have been made out of aluminium cans but it fit her and felt, above all things, right.

She had also managed to stutteringly talk Sansa out of going to the party as Claire Danes from Romeo and Juliet, and now proudly clumped along behind the redhead who was dressed in gold brocade as a young Elizabeth Tudor. "You can be my queensguard", Sansa told Brienne happily.

In fact Brienne would be guarding two queens tonight, with Margaery woefully undressed for the weather in gold and jewels as Cleopatra.

The party was just as she expected, movie characters mingled strangely with people dressed in some of the best costumes Brienne thought she'd ever seen. She deftly avoided Renly and Loras as she made her way through the giant house, slipping out into the garden when she caught a glance of Cersei in Grecian robes and ornate eye make up. _Aphrodite,_ she guessed, and found that the goddess fitted the beautiful young woman as well as the armour fitted her.

To her surprise she found a drunk Jaime sitting on the grass out there, a half empty bottle of dark liquid resting against his legs. "Wench!" he exclaimed as he caught sight of her, "Come over here, let me get a better look at you."

She had thought she could disappear back into the party, but wherever she went someone would probably see her and try to strike up conversation. At least with Jaime she knew what she was getting.

"Good Ser", he only half mocked as he took in the silver armour

She followed the charade as she noticed the crown sitting on top of his golden hair, "Your grace."

"I'm King Arthur", he told her and it took all her strength not to laugh at him.

"I wouldn't have put you as a fan" she replied as she paced the garden, uncomfortable with the way he was studying her.

"I wanted to be Han Solo", he laughed, "Apparently that wasn't good enough."

Brienne allowed herself a small smile as she remained turned away from Jaime. 

"Oh look it's the lovers", a voice mocked them from just inside the house. Vargo Hoat stepped momentarily into the light and it cast hard shadows across his twisted face.

"I've come for what I'm owed", he told Jaime, "It's taken me a while after your father decided I wasn't suitable for this establishment anymore but here I am."

Brienne noticed that he had a slight speech impediment that hissed his s's and distorted the th's in his words. It would have been pushing ridiculous if his face hadn't looked downright homicidal. 

"Hold the... girl", he told two of the three men coming out behind him, "We'll save her for later, there has to be something womanly in her underneath."

Brienne yelled and struggled as Hoat's gang held down her arms, but over the noise of the music no one heard her. A tiny spear of panic started up in her stomach as she attempted to move but found that the two men held her firm. 

"You're not much of a looker", the bigger one slavered into her face, "But that doesn't much matter to me."

Brienne was now officially scared.

'A Lannister always pays his debts'", mocked Hoat as he stood over Jaime, the third man standing behind the intoxicated blond. It was a phrase Brienne remembered, but in that moment she couldn't place where from.

"So how come neither you or your brother can pay back what you took from me?"

"We took nothing. You were running an illegal operation from your dorm room, all money lost in that case is forfeit."

"Your father..."

"My father gave you a fair hearing."

The third man leant over and took firm hold of Jaime's shoulders as Brienne struggled against her captors violently as she realised what Hoat was about to do.  Jaime's right hand was on the grass under Hoat's foot, and she finally saw a streak of terror pass across his handsome features. 

'Whats that saying?" pondered Hoat, "'An eye for an eye'? How about a hand for a hand?" And with barely a second for the weight of his words to sink in he crushed Jaime's hand. 

Brienne heard the snap and the gut wrenching scream that followed, reacting almost before Jaime hit the ground.

Praising all those teen boxing tournaments and self defence classes she twisted carefully, allowing the sharp edge of the costume armour to dig into the arm of the man on her right. It gave her all of two seconds to react and she did, jabbing her elbow across, catching him at his solar plexus. Winded he fell away from her leaving her right arm free. Twisting with surprising grace for a woman her size she hit the man on her left with a hook which left him clutching at the blood pouring from his nose. He swore at her and Brienne punched out again, wishing for all the world that the sword in her scabbard wasn't just rolled up kitchen foil. Towering over the pair on the ground, she offered a silent warning which they both cowered from. _Three hits_ , she thought, _it should have taken more_. But the thought was only half formed as she rushed to Jaime's side, Hoat and the third man gone. He was already dozing out of consciousness as he cradled his damaged hand to his chest.

"Lannister!" she yelled as she took in his injury, "Don't you dare think about passing out on me", the adrenaline thundering through her veins making her bold.

"Jaime", he whispered back at her, "My name is Jaime."

She held his head in her lap until she heard the ambulance sirens.

                                                                                                                                          **********  
                                                                                                                                          **********

"Jaime?" Tywin asked, snapping him out of his reverie.

"Are you going to go without saying anything?" Cersei spat at him. 

Brienne waited for his reaction quietly, half in the doorway, the light and her warm cheeks clashing with her freckles.

'Love?' Jaime mouthed at her and her freckles disappeared completely as he grinned and she looked away.

"Thank you for the offer Father. I don't think I have a spare hand right now to help you with your business ventures. If the situation changes, I'll be in touch" he pushed himself up from the table and granted his father and step-sister one final look before he left the room.

"You ok?" Jaime and Brienne asked each other simultaneously as soon as they were out of earshot.

She nodded softly and he reached up to place a series of fluttering kisses across her cheeks. She met his lips briefly, her held breath leaving her body in a whoosh. There was no fire in their embrace, it was familiar, it was comfort and it was love. He pulled away before their known track record would turn tender into passion. 

Jaime made sure to hold her gaze as he stepped back, intoxicated tonight but only in her eyes. "I love you", he told her in a matter of fact tone. 

"I love you too", Brienne smiled back at him as she rested her head back on the wall in relief he guessed, the biggest and most genuine smile he had even seen on her out of the gym.

"How are we going to get home?", she asked as he continued to stare at her, "I don't think after that we're going to be offered a town car."

"I may have just the thing."

                                                                                                                               *********

Brienne followed Jaime's lead, quiet as mice, up the huge entrance hall stairway. "I don't think this is a good idea", she whispered as he opened the door to the second room on his left.

"Shush, this is my house. I know every way out of here without anyone even seeing us", Jaime grabbed her hand and pulled her in after him.

Brienne realised immediately that this must have Jaime's room when he lived at home. There were still some of his clothes on the bed and the wall was covered in the tell tale signs of pin pricks where posters must have hung at one point. "I really don't think this is a good idea."

"You scared of being in my room?"

She took in the vast amount of scarlet everywhere and the tidiness and shook her head. "I'm nervous about being caught in your room."

"Strictly honourable intentions", he laughed, picking through a small box on the otherwise empty shelves, "I'm waiting until we get home before I ravish you."

Brienne let the shiver of desire flicker through her muscles and Jaime laughed at her, too much breath and not enough noise she noted.

He had finished rummaging by that time and held whatever he'd been looking for tight in his fist. "I think it's time to go home", he told her with a wink.

                                                                                                                           *********

Jaime hoped the car was exactly where he'd left it several years earlier, and it hadn't been moved by one of the many house staff. As it was, he was in luck. He pulled the sheet off the sports car carefully andwaited for Brienne's reaction.

"You have a Maserati?"

"Eighteenth birthday present. Only drove it twice", Jaime explained as Brienne shook her head incredulously. 

"How many cars do you have here that you don't actually use?"

"A few", Jaime replied as he pressed the key into her palm.

"We can't take this. It's worth a fortune."

"We can. It's mine. Consider it a parting gift from the Casterly Estate."

She shook her head, stubborn as usual.

"We'll be stuck here forever otherwise", Jaime sang at her as hopped into the passenger seat. He saw her sigh as she opened the drivers door and sat down. "That's my girl", he hummed into her neck as he dragged his stubble upwards, searching for her lips again. She let him explore for a few minutes, even going as far as allowing him to pop the top button of her shirt before half moaning, "Home."

"Home", he agreed, loving how dark her eyes had gone and wondering how long he could manage to keep them that colour.

As she started the car, Jaime kept his hand in contact with her as best he could, despite her protestations that if he kept it up she'd probably crash the car and kill them both. 

Jaime didn't care, today there was no where else in the world he'd rather be with no one else but her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be one more chapter, unless I decide I've got more to write within this storyline.
> 
> Thank you for reading all of this, and if you do have any comments at all these will be gratefully received and will help keep me going as I battle with the idea of even attempting smut.
> 
> Thanks again :)


	13. Chapter Thirteen: So hold me and feel me (I've been waiting for your touch)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne act on their mutual attraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who has commented and encouraged me to keep writing! As I wrote this chapter I realised there was no actual end I could come up with so this is basically just my first attempt at writing some sexy-times.
> 
> Title is from Blake Lewis' Your Touch

Brienne may have broken the speed limit slightly on the drive back. The car seemed to have a mind of it's own and Jaime's hand urged her on so much she ended up having to threaten to break his fingers if he didn't stop. She felt tremendously guilty as she saw Jaime's eyes flicking to the speedometer and his eyebrows raised in admiration.

"Are you doing something illegal?" he teased.

"Not at all", she lied, foot on the brake pad.

"It's alright. I know I'm basically irresistible." 

She chanced a glance over at him, only when they'd pulled up to a red light, and stared him down.

He looked back at her, acting wounded for half a second, before replying, "But you looooovvvve me. You're supposed to find me irresistible."

"And not annoying, arrogant, selfish, petty and impulsive?"

"I'm not petty."

Brienne smiled, "So you don't deny the rest?"

"What about you? Stubborn, headstrong, loyal, judgemental, honourable..." Jaime ticked off the words on his fingers, Brienne realising that there was almost as many good ones in there as bad.

"But you love me too", her voice was so small it was almost lost in the wind

"What can I say? You grew on me."

His hand rested back on her thigh, completely still, now acting only as a reassuring touch, and Jaime didn't remove it until they reached her street.

                                                                                                                          ********** 

"What do we do with the car?" Brienne asked as she slowed to a stop outside her house, trying to hide the slight fluttering in her stomach, the anticipation of what they had suggested back at Casterly.

"What do you want to do with it?" Jaime threw back at her.

"I don't have anywhere to put it, what happens if it gets stolen?"

"Around here? Unlikely", he scoffed, his gaze flicking between her eyes and lips. Not pushing, just considering. "Besides I don't want the car right now, I want you."

The fluttering butterflies in her stomach multiplied into something else, she could hear her heart in her ears, a steady pounding bass beat of want and unease. "I've never...", she found she couldn't finish the sentence, it was too much of an intimacy to speak in the open, "But I want to. With you." Brienne was furiously red by this point, Jaime just staring back at her.

"I had guessed as much", he told her, her face turning indignant at his assumption. "Apart from anything else you basically live in a convent. Though I do have my doubts about Margaery." Jaime raised an eyebrow and Brienne shoved him, protectiveness overruling nerves. 

"You're not in any kind of rush are you? Like if I touch the right spot you'll just turn into some wanton sex kitten and eat me alive?"

She barked out a laugh, Jaime joining in, his green eyes alive as she relaxed.

"We'll just go slow", he was serious then, hand on her face, using the same tone someone would use to coax a frightened animal in out of the cold. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you."

"I think we need to get out of this car then."

 

The front door had barely clicked close before Jaime was at Brienne's lips. Slow, ever so slow, until she nipped down on his lower lip hearing the hard intake of breath as she met his tongue with hers. His hand was on her shoulder, a chaste touch, hers in his hair feeling the softness against her fingertips.

"Are we alone?" he asked her between caresses.

"Drama club", she breathed back, his hand slowly undoing shirt buttons and grazing each new spot of skin he uncovered.

"Phones?" he murmured into the slight dip between her breasts.

"Off", it came out as a moan as he slid her shirt off her shoulders and cool air hit the bare skin of her stomach and back. "Turn them off."

She realised then that in no time at all Jaime had undressed her completely from the waist up and he was still, infuriatingly, fully dressed with a growing smirk on his face. There was a small part of her that just wanted him to keep tracing circles across her breasts, each sensation unique and entirely new to her body. But the larger part won out, the part that didn't want to give up all the control. Brienne may not know what she was doing specifically but she knew where she wanted this to go. She carefully removed the sling holding Jaime's right arm to his chest, fisted both her hands into his shirt and pulled causing buttons to fly, a small ting ringing out as one hit the light shade above them. 

"Eager now are we?",he asked as he made his way back to her lips. 

"We needed to be on the same playing field", she told him breathlessly

"Well then", he shrugged off his ruined shirt and threw it on the floor next to hers, "Are you happy?"

"Definitely."

"You owe me a new shirt."

She laughed, a nervous release, and pulled him to her feeling his skin on hers. His muscles beneath her hands rippled as he moved, the lust in the air hazy and intoxicating. He ground up against her thigh, and the growing arousal she felt there made all the butterflies come back into her belly.

"Upstairs?" Brienne whispered into his ear as he pushed her back into the wall.

"Upstairs", he agreed. Jaime tried to grab one of Brienne's hands, but she had bent down to pick up the pile of clothing by her feet.

"Are you removing evidence?" he laughed as she held up the material to her chest, blushing furiously.

"I'm tidying up after you. Don't get used to it."

"I won't", he reached out for her and pulled her along behind him up the stairs.

                                                                                                                **********

As soon as the bedroom door closed, Jaime pushed Brienne up against it, his hands going for the button on her trousers. He slid her zipper down slowly, pushing down the material, letting them pool on the floor. His own trousers followed seconds later, leaving them both in their underwear.

"Will it hurt?" she whispered as he led her to the bed, apprehension heavy in her eyes even as the desire dilated her pupils.

"Probably, but just for a second."

She bit down on her lower lip and Jaime had an idea. "Lie down on the bed." She narrowed her eyes at him and he sighed, pushing her away,  "Trust me. This won't hurt."

                                                                                                                   *********

Brienne found she very much liked Jaime's lips on her skin, especially as he seemed to find places that made her sigh and clutch his hair as he explored. He kissed down her side, hand spreading across her rib cage, feeling each shallow breath she took as he moved painfully slowly. It was a new kind of sublime torture. 

Jaime was all teeth and tongue as he teased each tiny cry out of her, nipping, pushing her higher and higher. Her stomach swirled and an ache, a pulse of throbbing need, settled between her legs. His hand traced across her stomach muscles, goosebumps blooming from the touches, cool on her burning skin. She'd been warned that the first time would hurt but this felt like the exact opposite as Jaime traced smaller and smaller lines with his tongue on his way down to her hip bones. She felt the cool air hit her as he removed the last piece of her clothing, spreading her knees with an elbow and quick as he could, placing his wicked mouth to move over all her most sensitive places.

Brienne couldn't see the movements through closed eyelids as she let her head fall back and hit the pillows, but she felt every single divine touch. The beginning of a coming explosion, a tingling in her toes, made her hips move of their own accord bumping into him, wanting more. Jaime laughed, a rumbling she felt in every pore, and then she was floating, soaring, exploding into a million pieces with only his name on her lips.

And in that moment, that blissful moment with the release still quivering through her muscles, Jaime looking up at her as if she was something precious, Brienne felt radiant. She reached out to him, sleepy and satisfied, and he settled his weight over her as she stretched, the aftershocks shuddering to a stop.

                                                                                                                       *********

"We can stop now if you want", Jaime told the shuddering, sleepy girl beneath him, fighting the urge to thrust into her thigh. 

She shook her head, eyes still closed, "Just give me a minute."

"I'm that good am I?"

"Cocky."

He let himself grind against her then though her eyes flew open in something that looked like surprise, the blue rings around her pupils slowly falling back to normal size. Brienne spoke haltingly, embarrassed but practical, "Bathroom cabinet. Top shelf. Margaery said. We had to be prepared. Just in case."

He looked at her and completely understood her meaning, even through the halting phrases. "Oh. Sure", Jaime pushed himself awkwardly out of her bed and made to open the bedroom door. "Wait even after that you can't say the word condom?"

She blushed, the colour rippling across her bare flesh and threw a pillow at him.

                                                                                                                   *********

Jaime returned seconds later, stripping off and settling himself down on the bed beside Brienne, who now was sitting up with her back to the wall, waiting for his return. "How do we do this?", she asked, her shyness slowly disappearing as she raked her eyes over his naked body and hard arousal.

He took her hands and helped her to straddle his lap. "Slowly", he murmured as she lowered herself down on to him. Jaime saw the pain momentarily flicker across her face, furrowing her brow, and he reached behind her head to pull her face to his. "Slowly", he repeated, "And breathe."

Jaime waited until she had relaxed, taking his cock fully inside her, before thrusting up. Brienne's responding throaty moan encouraged him to thrust again, and soon she was meeting his every upward movement with a roll of her hips. he knew he wouldn't last long, he'd been starved of this kind of contact for a long time, and she was so tight around him, moaning soundless words into his ear. Not for the first time that day he wished he had both his hands to help push Brienne up over the edge again though he guessed the one he had would do. They soon sped up together, racing as they both got used to the rhythm, bodies meeting again and again, hands gripping and grasping. Jaime kissed the sweat off Brienne's neck, thrusting even as her back arched, his name slipping from her lips like a mantra, allowing him to follow her to a peak that left Jaime grunting out his release into her skin.

Brienne rested her forehead against his as they both tried to catch their breath. Jaime met her lips briefly, playfully, as she rolled off him and collapsed onto the bed, her knees buckling from the unfamiliar activity. He lay down beside her, pressing his chest to her back, an arm around her stomach pulling her closer. Brienne made a contended, sleepy noise as she laced her fingers with his and they both allowed the fatigue to wash over them.

                                                                                                                       **********

It was almost dark when Jaime's phone buzzed on the bedside table. His arm was still wrapped around Brienne, holding her tight to his body as if now she was there he didn't want to let her go. The phone buzzed a second time and he grabbed it before it could wake his sleeping girlfriend. 

"Shit", he took one look at the screen and reluctantly left the warmth of the bed and Brienne's skin. "I'm sorry", he whispered after he'd dressed, cursing her enthusiasm and his lack of buttons, as he placed a kiss to her forehead and hastily scribbled out a note. 

                                                                                                                    **********

Brienne woke up to a rapidly cooling bed and the hard slam of the front door. She would have thought that afternoon had been a crazily vivid daydream if she hadn't been naked under her blankets, a tell tale bloodstain on the sheets by her thigh. And even after all that, Jaime had just left without a word.

She reached for a t shirt from a pile on the floor, tears prickling at her eyes, and pulled the blankets over her head as the emotions overwhelmed her.

                                                                                                                  ***********

"There's got to be something wrong. She hasn't been answering our messages. That's really not like her."

"It could be that something went very right. She could still be at Casterly."

Sansa and Margaery considered the possibilities as they climbed the stairs of their house, worried about the lack of communication from their friend.

"Should we knock?", Sansa asked as they reached Brienne's door.

Margaery nodded as she knocked very gently, hoping that they'd find nothing out of the ordinary inside the room.

                                                                                                                **********

There was a sharp knock at Brienne's door, and two pairs of concerned eyes met her bleary eyed gaze. Margaery took in the rumbled bed and the spots of red on white, innocence lost, and shrunk down to the bed, pulling Brienne's head onto her shoulder.

"He said, he said he loved me and he left after..." the blonde spat out between quiet sobs.

Sansa took her place on the opposite side to Margaery, putting her arm around Brienne's back. "He must have left a note. He loves leaving notes."

Brienne shook her head.

"Jackass."

Margaery shrugged up Brienne to look at her fierce in the eyes "I am going to kill him". 

"Come on", Sansa tried for joviality, "I'll order a pizza and we'll watch something ridiculous fluffy."

"No. No romance", Brienne growled.

Sansa stood, taking in her friend's film collection. The redhead stood on her toes, pulling down a box. "Black Hawk Down?"

 

Not one of them noticed the ragged piece of paper on the carpet, white on white, the word 'Sorry' clear despite Jaime's barely legible scrawl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for reading another chapter (I'm still not sure how I'm managing to update this so regularly) 
> 
> Hopefully the smut attempt wasn't too bad and although I don't think it'll be likely that I'll write anything like this again in the near future, any comments or pointers will be greatfully received
> 
> And I know I've been terribly cruel to Brienne at the end of this chapter, I'll not do it again I promise :)


	14. Chapter Fourteen: This table has taken a turn for the worse, rock bottom and over the edge (well it's not like it hurts that much anyway)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Margaery and Sansa try and sort out the problem with Jaime and Brienne, in their own special ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel I must apologise for the angsty corner I seem to have written myself into. Feel free to skip if youre only here for the fluffy stuff. It'll be back to normal next chapter I promise
> 
> Hopefully Jaime comes across as slightly less of a jerk than last time although I don't think I've got closure on the situation yet (sorry again)
> 
> Title is from Attention by The AcademyIs

"I think I could actually kill him you know", Margaery told Sansa as they left Brienne to shower and dress, "If Jaime was here, in front of me now, I think I could give it a real shot."

Sansa laughed nervously in reaction to Margaery's fierceness, guilt bubbling up through her veins, "And I'd be right beside you, cheering you on. But what if there's actually a reasonable explanation to all of this?"

Margaery made a noise in the back of her throat, "You really believe that?"

"I have to. Otherwise I feel like we are part of the reason one of the strongest people I know is sitting in her room crying. We encouraged it", the last few words were a whisper, a confession that Sansa did not want her upset friend to hear.

"And he left her. That was his choice and not your fault."

That hadn't stopped every tear Brienne had cried being like a stab in Sansa's heart. If there was such a thing as secondhand heartbreak, Sansa was pretty sure that was what she was experiencing. Though she was beginning to have an idea about how to improve the Brienne's mood, even if was slight, fluffy and momentary.  Almost faster than the speed of light, Sansa had her phone out of her pocket and to her ear.

"What are you doing?", Margaery asked as she followed her friend back down the stairs and into the front room.

"Calling for back up, this is a little beyond our expertise don't you think?" The call connected and Sansa walked away from Margaery, "Hiya Arya, I need to ask you a favour...."

                                                                                                                          **********

For once Brienne stood under the scolding stream of water coming out of the shower until it ran cold. Normally she'd be worried about water bills and angry roommates, but today she wanted the heat to cleanse her of the sweat on her skin and the conflicting emotions going on in her head. She made a mental note, when she felt better, to ask Margaery if sex was supposed to make you feel like you'd just been on the scariest and most exciting rollercoaster of your life and you didn't know whether to laugh or cry when it ended. She'd done both but the second emotion didn't want to leave her just yet. Unlike some people.

 _Jaime_ , his name slipped into her head and it stung for a second, _Stupid Jaime Lannister and his stupid pretty face._ Brienne wanted to punch him in that stupid pretty face of his, him and everyone else who had got her to this point. Connington, Renly, Jaime, even Hyle Hunt the guy who had half jokingly invited her to senior prom before she decided the night would be better spent taking shots at a punching bag.

She pushed her hair off her forehead as she looked in the mirror. It was still too short, too brittle but deciding to grow it over the winter maybe hadn't been such a bad idea after all. It hung in dripping sections to her jaw now, hiding some of the tell tale blotchiness her skin always veered towards after crying. That was the second time a Lannister had made her cry in the same number of months, she realised.

Brienne took one last look at herself, committing the image to memory, and vowed that no Lannister would ever push her to that point again. 

Love, even love given back in kind, was nothing like anyone had ever promised her. It fucking hurt.

                                                                                                                  *********

It couldn't have been more than half an hour later when the doorbell rang. Brienne had arrived downstairs by then, face washed and quiet enough for Sansa to realise that her walls were probably just about back up. As she opened the front door Sansa was almost knocked over by two wolf sized huskies, Arya struggling to hold back their excitement.

"Lady! Nym!", the smaller girl pulled them off her sister, rather unsuccessfully, as Sansa ended up having to pick white hair out of her mouth before hugging Lady, her own dog, around the neck.

"Brienne's in the front room", she told Arya, her sister bolting past her with the dogs.

Sansa turned to the other figure on the front step, "Thanks for bringing them. I just wanted to cheer Brienne up and I couldn't think of what else to do at short notice."

Professor Catelyn Stark regarded her oldest daughter as she stepped into the house. "Sansa, I don't think any of us really knows what to do in these situations."

Professor Stark was the head of the Women's Studies department and Sansa knew that her mother had a soft spot for Brienne after her friend had taken the Women in Antiquity class sophomore year. Brienne had even been invited to act as one of the Professor's teaching assistants next year, which was virtually unheard of for undergraduates, especially one who wasn't even majoring in the subject.

"I think we need to discuss exactly what has been going on here", Catelyn focused on her daughter as she made her way through the house, Sansa realising too late that neither her or Margaery probably wanted to tell the whole story of the past few weeks. She also realised that none of them had vacuumed in over a week and by the way her mother was staring at the carpet it looked that way too.

"We have tea", Sansa told her, trying to distract her mother from the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, as Catelyn took up a seat in the kitchen.

A chorus of barks carried out of the front room as Margaery squeezed her way past the two fur balls and through to the back of the house. "Catelyn", she exclaimed, "I didn't realise you were visiting."

Sansa shrugged, "I thought we needed maternal insight."

                                                                                                                   *********

"I hate boys", Arya told Brienne after the blonde had relayed a teen appropriate version of events to the girl. Arya stretched and re-positioned herself on the sofa, letting the dogs lie all over her. "Did either of those two suggest that we kick him the balls the next time we see him?" Arya jerked her head back to indicate the girls in the kitchen behind them.

Brienne rested her hand on Lady's head in her lap and smiled, a tiny movement across her face. "Don't ever change."

"Never", Arya promised, "So what are we watching?"

                                                                                                                 **********

It had been fully dark by the time Jaime had arrived back at the Stark-Tyrell-Tarth house. The moon hung huge in the sky, full and ominous, casting everything in a pale ghostly glow. As he paid the cab driver he thought that maybe, at some point, it wouldn't be pushing his luck to actually ask for a key. He was after all, spending far more time there than he was at his own house.

Margaery answered the door when he rang the bell, pretty face turning to stone when she saw him, "She doesn't want to speak to you."

"Excuse me?"

"I said that she doesn't want to speak to you. After that stunt you pulled this afternoon, I'm surprised you have the nerve to show up here."

"What?"

"You left her. You of all people must know what it took for Brienne to let you in like that. And she's hurting right now because she cares too much."

The weight of Margaery's words couldn't have hit harder unless she'd been driving an 18-wheeler straight at him. Which judging by the look on her face, Jaime thought, wasn't beyond the realm of possibility. "I'm sorry",  Jaime never meant that word more in his entire life, "I never meant to leave her alone. Something came up but I left a message."

"It's a shame we can't actually find that message then, isn't it Jaime?" Her voice dropped low but stayed absolutely deadly calm, "I don't think there was anything worse that you could have done really. You know about Connington, the bet and all the crap Brienne went through in high school with guys. Do you seriously think what you did isn't going to have some kind of effect on a woman who went through that?" Margaery sighed, "I guess I must have forgotten your track record of making dick moves."

The bet. _Shit._ He had actually forgotten about that. And him leaving probably took Brienne right back to that fear.

"I'm getting thrown out of Kings", Jaime told the brunette, letting out the frustration of the past few hours in one breath, "Or I might be getting thrown out. Something about unsatisfactory academic progress." He ran a hand through his hair as he considered his next words, "My father decided this afternoon would be a good time to call an emergency meeting with the Dean and he neglected to tell me about it until ten minutes before the thing started. I didn't want to leave her, but you tell me what I was supposed to do?"

He held up his left hand in surrender before Margaery could cut back in, "Yet another dick move", he agreed.

Margaery took a step back, "You should have told her", she hissed. "You know she would have helped. But instead you've made fools out of us all for helping with this and have probably added your name to the short list of guys who have trampled Brienne's heart."

Jaime looked down, a lump forming in his throat, "I don't know what else I can say to you."

"Neither do I. Jaime, from one person who cares about Brienne to another, I know it may not be as romantic as your little notes, but you clearly know how to send text messages. If you used them it would prevent scenarios like this from occurring."

"But I did."

Margaery slammed the door shut, not taking in his final words and Jaime found himself staring after her for a a minute too long. He finally turned to leave as the unusual barking from inside the house quietened, not hearing the door softly opening again.

Sansa ran down the street after him, red hair flying, "Brienne's doing a fencing workshop on Wednesday night at my sisters high school", she told him through the night air, "I don't know if she'll speak to you but if you want to see her, that may be your last chance for a while. She's leaving Thursday afternoon to spend the holiday week with her dad."

"I'm guessing that someone in that house doesn't hate me then?" Jaime asked in surprise.

"Oh no I hate you, I hate you because Brienne hates you right now and that's just what you do for a friend. Margaery actually wants to murder you", Sansa paused as she looked up at Jaime, meeting his eye, "It's just I also know that she does love you and deep down that's not going away any time soon. Thats why she is who she is. And love always matters more."

"Where exactly did you grow up again?" he quipped, "Disneyland?"

Sansa did her best to stare him down, though he could see she was far more emotional than Margaery. _It was completely endearing,_ Jaime thought, _how the three girls stood up for each other_. 

"Does believing in love make me a fairytale princess now?"

"It might do."

Sansa sighed, "Just make it right Jaime."

And then she was gone, leaving Jaime standing in the dark, feeling like he was going to throw up.

                                                                                                                       ********

It took Brienne a couple of days to realise what her friends were doing, a much larger group of friends then she would have ever thought possible. Apart from when she slept or showered, they were making sure she wasn't alone for any longer than they deemed necessary. 

It was completely appreciated and came from a deep sisterly love but after two full days of it, Brienne was actually starting to miss her own company.

                                                                                                                             **********

Jaime woke up on Wednesday morning to a painful tingling in his right hand, which was either a sign that after months of work the physio was finally doing some good or a sign that meant his doctors were going to confirm shortly that they were, unfortunately, going to have to remove his hand after all. Since that Monday, since his first official progress meeting with his tutor following the ruin of Sunday, his hand had been stinging with pins and needles on and off. If Jaime tried to flex his fingers, he swore he could hear the pins grate and it set his nerves on edge. It was worse than feeling nothing.

Also setting his nerves on edge was the fact that the three or four times he had seen Brienne in the corridors, she had barely glanced at him before turning away. And she was always surrounded by people; Stark, both Tyrell's, Snow, Wilde, Tarly, it seemed like she had an army around her, keeping him at arm's length.

And he knew he deserved it. Jaime rarely felt guilty over anything, but this was starting to eat him up inside.

He had to find a way to make it right. If he didn't he may find himself with a few more broken bones. But more importantly he was starting to miss Brienne.

 

Jaime had just come out of his last class before lunch, a ridiculous seminar on world politics, when he finally found his chance to try and talk away the last few days. "Brienne", he called out down the emptying corridor and he saw the blonde freeze beside the little chubby guy who usually hung out with Jon Snow. If she'd been with Margaery he would actually have had second thoughts about what he was going to do.

"Brienne" he called again and she turned around. From what her roommates had told him the other day he was expecting hurt or pain in her eyes, but when he looked into the blue all he saw was fury. _Much like the first time they kissed_ , Jaime remembered.

"Jaime", she acknowledged clearly, and even that must of hurt as a vein in her temple visibly flinched as she heard his name out loud.

"I think I'll just go", muttered Tarly as he scampered down the corridor, out of sight.

"I'm...", he began as Brienne walked, no stalked, towards him. _Ok_ , he thought, _this may be turning into another really bad idea_.

"Don't. Don't insult me by apologising for what you did."

"No apology then. I'll cancel the flowers", he grinned and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"And you can't just charm your way out of this either."

"Check."

She shook her head sadly, as if deciding it was better for her to just not indulge him, before turning to head down the now empty corridor.

"I am sorry", he told Brienne genuinely, jogging to fall in step with her.

"Words are wind Jaime." 

"I don't know. I think something like 'I do' carries a lot of weight in the right situation."

She twitched. _Almost_ , he thought, _almost a reaction_.

"Are you just about done?" Brienne asked him, giving nothing away about what she was really thinking.

He shook his head, "No. I don't think we're ever going to be truly done."

"Jaime." It hurt less the second time he noticed, her temple didn't move but she clearly was getting more worked up with him beside her, her pace speeding up so he almost had to jog alongside to keep up with the strides.

"I am sorry", he stepped in front of her, hand reaching for her cheek, "Really. I left a message in the usual place. I sent multiple texts. You never replied. Should I be mad with you too?"

His voice was so soft then, he hardly recognised it. Brienne looked back at him in such a way that all Jaime wanted to do was pull her into his arms and do anything, absolutely anything, to make it up to her. She removed his hand from her face, gentler than her earlier tone alone would have indicated and stepped away.  

"Goodbye Jaime."

                                                                                                                ********  
                    
"That was Jaime Lannister wasn't it?" Sam asked Brienne as she found him waiting around the corner for her, "I thought Sansa said you weren't supposed to talk to him?"

"No, Catelyn advised me it would be better not to talk to him until I calmed down."

"Do you believe him? What he said?"

"I don't know."

She had checked her phone almost every ten minutes on Sunday night, waiting for the clarity that meant she hadn't forced herself to see the good, see the love, in someone that wasn't capable of those things. But when the apologies came, it was too late to make much of a difference to the ache in her heart. 

"Not that it matters much but if I were running down a corridor after a lady, it wouldn't be because I didn't love her."

"But you're not Jaime Lannister."

                                                                                                          **********  
                                                                                                          **********

Sansa had spent the last three days cleaning. Obsessively cleaning. She told her roommates it was because of the looks her mother had been sending the skirting boards during her visit, but really she was looking for one piece of paper with an apology on it. 

She didn't quite know why she believed Jaime as she overheard him telling Margaery about his dad and tiny notes, but as far as she was aware, and she double checked with her brother Robb who'd known Jaime through sports clubs when they were younger, Jaime didn't lie. He'd badger and harass and piss people off but he wasn't deceitful by nature. And she hoped he wouldn't purposely hurt Brienne either.

Brienne, who had spent the last few days acting like nothing had happened, spent far too much time at the gym punching things for Sansa to believe her when she said that she was fine. So she cleaned, and she polished, and she washed every surface she could reach. Margaery and Brienne had been highly amused by her newly domestic routine and had allowed her into their rooms to complete her house wide job. Although before she had offered to clean Brienne's room, the blonde had asked her, very kindly, if she'd had OCD flare ups in the past and if there was anything they could do to help her.

And the more Sansa cleaned, the worse she felt about pushing Jaime and Brienne together in the first place, as it seemed more and more likely that it all was going to turn out in heartbreak

 

"Sansa?", Brienne's voice travelled up the stairs from the front door, "I'm leaving now with Arya. Do you want me to pick up anything for you on the way back?"

Sansa didn't reply as she was currently balancing Brienne's bedside table on it's back legs, reaching for what she hoped was the thing that would remove the knot from her gut.

"Wait!", she yelled moments later, running and jumping down the stairs two at a time. Barefoot she ran across the damp grass and gravel, feeling it cut into her soles but still moving.

Brienne stood on the street by her rusting little blue car, arms across her chest, staring at Sansa's feet. "If you want to come along tonight that's fine, but you will need shoes."

"To watch Arya fake stab people with a pointy looking weapon?" Sansa shivered, "No thanks."

Arya, who was currently half hanging out of the passenger side window stuck out her tongue and muttered something about not being allowed to take the sports car on the drive to school. Sansa pulled a face at her sister.

"Why have you run out here like a crazy person?" Brienne cut through the sibling bickering quickly.

"To give you this", Sansa dropped the rolled up piece of paper into Brienne's palm, watching the blonde's eyes go wide with realisation.

"What. Is. This?" she asked slowly, as if the answer could only wound her more.

Sansa grinned, "His writing is atrocious."

"His...?"

"He's still a jackass for leaving you like that and I'll hate him for as long as you want me to. But he didn't lie and he does care." Brienne stood open mouthed in front of Sansa. "Is it worth another chance?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for all the comments on the last chapter, I'm still so surprised that so many people are still reading this!
> 
> As usual comments are greatly appreciated and really do keep me writing :)


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Dancing when the stars go blue (Are you happy now?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime's a moron and Brienne has a habit of jumping to conclusions, but with a little trust and a little help they can be fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the lovely comments on the last chapter! I really do love reading them all. Sorry I haven't replied as I was busy with work and thought writing another update was more important :)
> 
> Title is from Ryan Adams' When The Stars Go Blue
> 
> And Jaime quotes Much Ado About Nothing in here. 
> 
> Fluff has returned! :)

"Is it worth another chance?"

 _Is he worth another chance_ , Brienne thought and found herself torn. There was a part of her that knew life wasn't perfect and Jaime had done a very moronic, but to be perfectly honest a very Jaime-like thing. She'd almost gotten used to having to pull him out of ridiculous situations, where he hadn't thought past step one, as a friend. As something more, well, there was always going to be a possibility that he was going to hurt her, however unintentionally it may be. Brienne didn't think there would ever be a time where she could grow used to that. But that was the same part that give a tiny inward shriek of excited relief when Sansa had dropped the paper in her hand. _'I don't think we're ever truly going to be done',_ Jaime had told her and she was beginning to think that he was right.

The other part of her just wanted to close up shop and relegate herself to 'maiden aunt' status. _Only,_ she realised, _that would be a misnomer as there was nothing maiden about her anymore_.

"Can I borrow your phone?" Arya's voice cut through her thoughts as the younger girl dangled dangerously out of the open car window.

"It's still in the house", Sansa told her, "Don't tell me you lost yours again? Dad'll kill you."

"I know exactly where it is. It's just not here. Brienne?"

Brienne sighed, "Why do you need it?"

"I wanna text Jon and make sure he knows exactly where we are going to be. He's bringing Ygritte to watch me fence", Arya sounded fiercely proud of that fact.

"Ok. Jon's number's in there already", Brienne told her as she handed over the device.

"Thanks", Arya snatched it off her and dived into the back seat beside her bags to send her message. 

"Jon's her favourite", Sansa explained with an eye roll.

"It's fine", Brienne replied and it was as it had stopped her thinking about what was in her palm for a second or two.

"So?" Sansa glanced down at Brienne's closed fist, lacking the ability to be subtle when she was emotional or excited.

"So?"

"What are you going to do? I could see the wheels turning in your head. You've already made a decision", Sansa smiled, "Tell me?"

"I..."

"How come you guys got into college when you can't even read?" Arya was back at the window, Brienne's phone in her hand, clearly not texting Jon.

"I can read", Sansa retorted, "Just 'cos I read People doesn't mean I'm not reading."

Arya shook her head slowly, the look on her face clearly asking how her and Sansa were even sisters, but she didn't take the bait of the comment. "No I meant Brienne. Look at this", Arya pointed to the small screen.

Sansa snatched, squinting as she brought the phone closer to her face. Brienne watched as her eyes widened and a light flush spread across her face, "Oh my god, why am I reading this?"

Brienne snatched at her friend, blushing furiously at the messages Arya had pulled up. 

"If that's all accurate Jaime's quite inventive isn't he?" Arya snarked from the car, dipping back inside before her sister could slap her. 

"Arya! How would even you know that?"

"I'm sixteen", she told her sister as if that was an explanation. "It's the wrong message anyway. Click forward."

Brienne did and came to the first message that had arrived Monday morning and hadn't done anything for her heartache.

_Tywin called. Am in major trouble with the college. Sorry had to leave. Will be back later_

"And?" Brienne had committed those ones to memory.

"Look at the time".

"It arrived Monday morning", Brienne could have told Arya the exact time if she really wanted to know.

"Just cos that's when it arrived, doesn't mean that's when it was sent. I wish Ygritte was here to tell you that you know nothing!"

Sansa suppressed a giggle that came out as a high pitched squeak.

Arya ignored her sister yet again and gestured at Brienne, "Come here. Your phone's ancient by the way."

"It still works."

"Just press this button here and then do this...and that is when it should have arrived."

"That's not actually reading", Sansa pointed out but she was leaning over her sister, trying to see what she was doing.

"Whatever", Arya replied, "Look there."

_Sunday. 3.48 PM_

Arya noticed the look that passed between the two older girls. "Did I find something awesome?"

"I think you did", Sansa agreed, "Why were you even looking for it?"

"Brie's happier when he's around. And when she's happier, she's a better teacher", Arya shrugged, "I'm completely selfish."

                                                                                                             **********

"So where exactly are we going tonight?", Tyrion asked his older brother as Jaime stared in the hallway mirror at the dark circles under his eyes.

"North Fell High School", Jaime replied, flicking at strands of blond hair that wouldn't stay in place.

Tyrion raised an eyebrow, "Do I really want to know why? Though I'm guessing with all the preening she is tall, blonde and strong."

Jaime glared.

"You know she's absolutely perfect for you."

"Tell that to her."

"She knows", Tyrion looked past his brother to the large bag behind him.

"Are you planning something devastatingly romantic?" he asked with a grin

"No", Jaime replied, "I think I'm planning on getting my ass handed to me for the second time this week."

Tyrion laughed, "Who was the first?"

Jaime made a face, "Margaery Tyrell."

Tyrion didn't stop laughing until they reached the school car park, twenty minutes later.

                                                                                                          ***********

Jaime and Tyrion had arrived late into the sports building at the school, the lights already dimming in the viewing area where several dozen parents and friends were already sat. Tyrion had laughed as Jaime made for the front row, flinching as he saw the Stark family and quickly threw himself down three rows back.

"Nervous, brother?"

"Call me old fashioned but I prefer my bones not to be in several pieces."

Tyrion laughed again, briefly before he was hushed by nearby spectators. "Does she know you're here?" he whispered as Brienne came out into the middle of the floor, followed by a dozen teenagers in striking white uniforms.

"Fencing is a discipline stretching back nearly three hundred years", Brienne projected to the audience and Jaime was struck at how confident she seemed tonight under the dim spotlight. Her hair was glowing like a halo around her head, the white of the uniform gleaming of purity. _All she was missing was a pair of wings_ , Jaime thought.

"It is one of a very small number of sports to be included in each one of the modern Olympic Games. But tonight isn't about winning, it's about showing off the grace, poise and athleticism required to perfect the basics effortlessly. So please welcome the North Kings Junior Fencing Club."

As Brienne left the floor, Jaime saw her exchange a word or two with the smallest of the group. Arya Stark had laughed and whispered something quickly back before she ran into position. 

Jaime had forgotten how good the kids were, it had been a long while since he'd snuck into the back of a gym to watch Brienne teach. She never had been short tempered with the younger ones, always patient and constructive, and he found himself thinking if she would be that inspirational with him should he actually want to try and re-train with his left hand. He recognised most of the kids as they huddled around, shuffling out into pairs and showing off their moves. Arya, tiny tearaway that she was, along with her dark haired partner were so in sync with each other that Jaime found it hard to look away to find Brienne leaning up against the wall, simply watching. Podrick Payne, who'd shown so much promise in class, seemed to stutter as so many pairs of eyes focused onto him. _Confidence_ , Jaime thought, _was all he was lacking_. 

The hour passed far too quickly for Jaime's liking, despite him feeling on edge every time he caught the tall blonde in the shadows twitch or shuffle. If he hadn't known better, he would have guessed she was as much on edge as him.

"Thank you for your attention. We hope you have enjoyed tonights showcase. Refreshments are being served in room 12", Brienne rushed through her final address as the lights came on, shattering her earlier confidence. Jaime caught sight of the tiny yellow cards poking out of her sleeve before she pushed them away. _Cue cards_ , _definitely Sansa or Margaery's idea_.

The kids filed past her as they went to find their parents, high fives, pats and one enormous bear hug being exchanged before Jaime found himself alone in the gallery watching Brienne. Tyrion had left with a simple "Go get the girl. Again", before departing for coffee.

She had turned away without acknowledging him so he yelled down the stairs, "Might I have this dance my lady?"

Brienne swung around, a sheen across her skin plastering stray hairs to her forehead, "I don't dance", she told him firmly, not catching on as quickly as he would have liked.

Jaime quirked his head to the side, looking down at her as innocently as he could manage, playing her at face value for now. "Oh but you do. You forget I was there when you tried."

"Tried and failed. Hence I don't dance."

"We could try again."

Jaime was sure he wasn't referring to just dancing.

                                                                                                                     **********

"Jaime's here", Arya whispered in Brienne's ear as she hugged her before running off to brag to her dad.

Of course Jaime was there, h e had a sixth sense about finding the strangest places to wind her up in. But following the Stark sisters finds earlier that evening she wanted him to at least try and apologise again for not waking her up on Sunday afternoon. If he ever got around to spitting out those kind of words, she was ready to listen.

"And if I fell and crushed you?" Brienne asked, picking up on his dancing metaphor.

"At least I'd die happy."

"You'd still be dead", she pointed out

"Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably", Jaime was overly slowly making his way down the stairs now, as if he was fighting the urge to bolt down them to get to Brienne quicker. Her heart was doing a funny little stutter every step he got closer to her. _Stupid pretty face,_ she thought, remembering the promise she had made herself only three days earlier.

"I brought my fencing gear with me", he told her, less than a foot away, "I thought that if I could beat you, you could hear me out."

"And if I won?"

"You'd never have to see me again if you didn't want to."

Brienne raised her eyebrows, "You'd leave me alone?"

"If that's what you want."

She shook her head. "I don't know. I never know with you."

"Unpredictability is both a gift and a curse."

"Stop."

He froze on the spot, "Why am I stopping?"

Brienne stared him down. 

"Sorry", he whispered sounding all of about twelve, "I'm sorry. How many times do I need to say it before you believe me?"

"If you believed it Jaime, then once would be enough."

"Really?"

"Really really."

He was in her face then, covering the distance between them in one leap. "I'm sorry. For leaving. For not calling. For hurting you. I'm sorry."

She met his eyes and saw the physical pain in there but said nothing.

"Come on, curse me or kiss me or call me a liar. Something"

Brienne took a deep breath before continuing, "I believe you. You're an utter idiot and if you ever do anything like that again I can't be held responsible for what my friends will do to you. But I believe you."

His arm was half way around her back before he muttered, "Idiot?"

"I think your dad might have played you. Played us. Who exactly calls a university meeting on a Sunday?"

"...I hate my family."

"Well it seems they may hate me so there's a lot of that going around."

Jaime pulled her into a hug, "When did you come up with this theory?"

"About thirty minutes ago."

"And you were going to tell me when?"

"After you made your move", Brienne crossed her arms over his back, keeping him still. "I'm sorry too", she whispered.

"I can admit when I'm wrong. Sometimes", he grinned at her, "Don't make me feel any worse."

"I thought I was wrong about you..."

"I won't hold that against you, a lot of people are."

She shoved his shoulder but he held her tight enough for them not to move any great distance despite the power of the touch.

"Are we friends again?" he asked her quietly, his left palm against her back.

"I don't know I've never had a friend like you before."

"Oh I'm the best kind of friend", he moved his hand up, tapping out a rhythm with his fingers she could feel through her protective shirt, until he was stroking through her hair. 

Brienne closed her eyes to the sensations he was producing across her scalp. "We'll see about that."

"Oh really? Is the stubborn wench ready to forgive?"

She pulled away, strong enough to escape his grip, and met his eyes fiercely. "Don't call me that!"

"Wench", he took a step closer, "Though a common wench wouldn't have done half as well as you with those kids."

Brienne turned away as he reached for her hand, not wanting Jaime to see the colour rising to her cheeks or the unwanted desire threatening her eyes. "I couldn't do much if they weren't good to start with."

"Then train me."

"What?" she turned back and he dropped her wrist as if her skin burned, momentum and gravity taking her into him, and them onto the floor. 

Brienne caught herself at the last possible moment as her ability to think returned, preventing her not inconsiderable bulk from crushing the air out of his lungs. 

There was barely an inch between them now, noses almost touching, when Jaime smiled and whispered "Hi."

She guessed she was blushing across her entire body, burning hot, as a pool of arousal took up residence in her stomach.

He muttered to himself as she tried to push off the ground, though he held her firmly. "Did you never fantasise about making out with your high school crush in a completely inappropriate place?"

"You weren't my high school crush."

"You didn't know me in high school. I was everyone's crush."

"I'm not surprised. Though I'm betting you were an even bigger jackass back then."

"Guilty as charged."

She sat up as a smile flitted across her lips, it really was too exhausting to properly hate him for long periods of time. "If I decide to take you home again are you going to stay this time?"

"I'll never leave if you don't want me to. You can tie me to the bed", he stretched underneath her, sending tingles through every muscle he touched "Though I would appreciate a sandwich every now and again."

She laughed, the sound echoing out across the room. "Unfortunately I cant do that, I'm going home tomorrow for a week. You may starve in my absence."

"I could come with you", he sat up and Brienne was suddenly aware of how very close he was to her and the fact she was basically straddling his lap.

"My dads getting re-married."

"I love weddings", he told her as his lips made their way to her neck. 

"I've never taken a boy home before."

"Good. I like being unique", he murmured into her skin, unzipping her top a little  so he could trace her collarbone with his fingertips.

She went with it, letting her head fall back to grant him more access. Jaime was having a one sided conversation with her skin as he kissed up her neck and across her face, she heard love, sorry, stupid, perfect, over and over again.

"Hmmmmm?" she asked, clasping her hand into his hair at the back of his neck.

"I love you", Jaime told her before crushing his lips to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated (and I'll try to make time to respond to any this time)


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Never going back and forth, I'm only going forward that's what I keep saying (Never going back and forth, I'm only going back that's what I mean)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One night. Two stories. A lot of banter. Pure fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched The Rains of Castamere for a second time yesterday and was more upset than the first time, so I was in no mood to write a wedding. This chapter is a little filler ish so may not do anything for the story but I wanted to write banter and them opening up to each other rather than smutty goodness.
> 
> Title is from What I Say and What I Mean by The Like.
> 
> The two quotes within the text are from Much Ado About Nothing and the song Nature Boy that features in Moulin Rouge.

Brienne thought she was finally getting better at the kissing. Jaime's lips generally were a constant revelation through which he coaxed tiny appreciative noises out of her, but on the floor of the gym he was matching her sound by sound and he was definitely, unashamedly, getting louder. Although that may have had something to do with how she was currently sitting. She had to break away as he moaned, low and loud, quickly covering his mouth with one of her hands that had been previously buried in his hair. "You do remember we're basically in public?"

"We don't have to be", he grasped for her again but she kept him at arms length before he could lead her off into distraction. She really didn't want to one of them to end up being half clothed on their back if someone were to walk in ten minutes from now.

"If you can act like a grown up and not like a horny teenager for a little bit then I'm sure that can be arranged."

Jaime smirked, "Teenager?" 

"We are in a high school. It seems to be affecting you."

"You're affecting me".

Brienne rolled her eyes. "One of these days you won't be able to find an answer."

"Live in hope. It might be a long time coming."

She shook her head in amusement and found herself quoting one of Sansa's favourite plays, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is not that strange?” 

"Maybe it's just meant to be."

She pushed herself off the floor, leaving Jaime to pout a little on the ground before she pulled him up to stand beside her. "You're filthy", he told her, a slight smile in his voice.

"I don't think...oh", Brienne looked down and saw the dirt that had stuck to her knees and calves, the white of her pants contrasting starkly with the dust from the gym floor. She tried to brush it off with her palms but it appeared most of it had no plans on going anywhere.

"You could take them off", Jaime suggested leaning against the doorframe, pink cheeked and hair completely out of place.

"That'll look professional", she muttered as she tried again to rid herself of the dirt.

"Not what I meant but nice to know you're coming down to my level", Jaime ran a hand through his hair, "You really don't have a change of clothes anywhere around here?"

                                                                                                                 **********

Five minutes later after he had 'helped' Brienne change they arrived together at the room where most of the junior fencers were congregated. Not that his help was much use, it mainly consisted of kisses, laughter and trying to persuade her to skip the meet and greet part of the evening for more fun things.

Catelyn Stark shot Jaime a look that could kill as he trailed into the room a little way behind Brienne, both of them looking a little ruffled around the edges. The Stark and Lannister families had a deep seated historical resentment and Jaime guessed the current generations weren't doing much to improve that. 

Brienne took Catelyn's hand, and the Professor managed to look motherly towards the blonde girl towering over her. It was quite sweet, Jaime thought, until she looked at him again and he felt chilled.

"I take it we are not going to have any repeats of the other night", she told him sternly. 

"No Ma'am", he shook his head, mentally adding Catelyn Stark above Margaery Tyrell on his list of Brienne's scariest friends. The Professor pursed her lips and said something to Brienne that he couldn't  quite hear, but the blonde girl looked like she was fighting a blush in response so he figured it was something about him.

"It must be nice to be so well liked", he told Brienne as Catelyn made her excuses and left, sending another glare Jaime's way, several younger Starks following her out.

"Believe me it's an entirely new experience", Brienne whispered back.

Arya regarded them solemnly, saluting as she left, "Coach. Coach's boyfriend."

"She's one intense girl. I pity her partner", Jaime laughed into Brienne's ear, arm slung around her waist.

"I wouldn't. Just give them a couple of years."

Jaime's eyes widened, "How can you see that but couldn't see us?"

"Past experience."

She sounded so matter of fact and so sad that he quickly, and as discreetly as possible, placed a kiss to her jaw muttering, "Tell me about it."

A shuffling noise and a soft cough brought them both back to their current surroundings, Podrick Payne standing in front of Brienne, almost as red in the face as the blonde. "Sir, I mean Miss, I mean Brienne", he stuttered as she smiled at him. _The kid really needed some confidence_ , Jaime thought.

"Pod this is Jaime. Jaime, Pod", she introduced him as briefly as possible before going on to praise the young man in front of her.

"If you could forget people are watching and focus on your moves you would get better", Jaime blurted out as soon as Brienne stopped talking, both her and Pod looking staring straight back at him in surprise, "If Brienne would let me I could help with confidence."

Pod looked down at the floor, "Thank you...that would be nice...thank you", he stuttered and refused to meet Jaime's eye as the teenager shuffled out of the room.

"You really would do that?" she asked

"I may be crippled but I'm not useless. You re-train me and I'll help with the kids. Sound fair?"

Brienne looked at him, "How can I do that if you're not even going to be here anymore?"

Jaime attempted to shrug, but found it was a little difficult to do with his arms in their current position. "Can we not talk about that right now? I think you've done your duty for the evening", he gestured at the almost empty room, "Time to find somewhere more private."

                                                                                                                       **********

Brienne was tired but satisfied afterwards, sweat beading on her forehead and across her chest as Jaime stretched out beside her, chattering away about fencing techniques. Her muscles rapidly cooling she threw on a shirt and lay down, pulling Jaime to her.

She leaned down and kissed him on the top of his head, hair silky against her lips and tried to close her eyes. "Go to sleep Jaime."

"Tell me about the bet", Jaime was fearlessly naked on his side next to her, head on her shoulder, hand pushing up her t-shirt to rest against her abdominal muscles. _Clearly not in the mood for sleeping_ , Brienne thought.

"Tell me about Cersei", she countered, allowing his hand to wander for now, her own arm draped across his back.

"You already know."

"So do you."

"Not completely."

"There's not much left to tell", she told him, his fingertips tracing around her navel and lower, leaving her with the feeling of not really wanting to talk anymore.

"Tell me the story."

"Once upon a time", Brienne began, removing his hand from between her legs where it had been briefly moving magically. Jaime looked perturbed for a second, but she saw him lick his fingers before letting her continue, a promise for later.

"Once upon a time", she gulped, "There was an ugly duckling who wasn't growing into a swan like all the other ducklings around her." It was better to distance herself from this as best she could.

"Named Brienne", Jaime continued the story for her.

"Named Brienne", she agreed, shattering her idea of distance, "Who dreamt of a happily ever after."

"So basically you were Sansa."

She pushed him off her and onto his back, "Do you want to hear this or not?"

Jaime smirked up at her, Brienne realising that once again she had him pinned beneath her. "Of course I do."

"It can do without your commentary then."

"I was giving it some context."

"You weren't even there!" She exclaimed, turning to sit up and pulling the blankets up around her bare legs, suddenly feeling a little exposed.

He reached over and stripped the covers off, hand running down her thigh, "Go on, happily ever after etcetera."

"The duckling..."

"The giant girl...", Jaime filed in

"What did I say about commentary?"

"Well", he considered, "If you would tell it correctly, then I wouldn't have to add in the truth."

Brienne took a deep breath, certain Jaime was trying to not laugh at her, "As you can imagine the giant girl", she glared and he did laugh back at her then. "She didn't exactly fit in."

"Vastly overrated, fitting in."

"Not when you're fourteen year old girl. Anyway one day a boy approached and asked out the girl. Asked me out", she looked over at Jaime and he nodded for her to continue. "You have to realise this had never happened before, the...I wasn't popular and I was taller than all the boys", she knew she was getting quieter with each little bit of the story falling out of her lips.

"I quite like that", he began and she jabbed him with her knee in an effort to quieten down.  

"And so, after a little coaxing, I went on the very first date of my life."

"With Ron Connington", Jaime growled.

"No, he came later. This was somebody Fossoway."

"You can't remember his name?"

"I think I forgot on purpose", her voice was barely a whisper now.

Jaime patted her leg gently, "You don't have to go on. I can go to sleep now", he lay his head in her lap and mock snored loudly.

Brienne laughed as he rolled onto his back, opening his eyes and looking up. "Well I can't sleep if all you're going to do is laugh."

"I can go on. It's just...difficult", she paused, "After Fossoway it was as if I'd been named prom queen. There was a new boy every week desperate to take me out somewhere and show me off. It was almost like being a girl."

"You are a girl. Unless there's something you're not telling me", he rolled to kiss her thigh and the muscle contracted around the touch.

"You know what I meant. It was sweet and innocent and completely unexpected. Then there was Connington", she felt Jaime tense and couldn't place whether she liked or felt disrespected by his possessiveness.

"He was different, needier, wanting me to take things to another level."

"How old was he at this point?"

"Fourteen, fifteen maybe."

"I should have broken his fingers instead of his face", Jaime muttered darkly and Brienne reached down to stroke through his hair, aiming for calm.

"There was a school dance about a week before I turned fifteen, where I didn't dance, but he told me loved me me..."

Jaime was up on his knees in a flash, arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his skin. "Little shit."

"He tried...he tried to touch and I punched him in the face".

"The world would be a better place if they taught more girls how to do that."

Brienne smiled into Jaime's shoulder, despite herself. "I found out about the actual bet about a week later. Connington came back to school and the gossip spread throughout the year group. The official line was that I was a tease but I cornered one of the other guys and he told me the truth, they had a bet for the first to..."

"You were a kid", Jaime interrupted.

"So were they", catching his glare she continued, "Don't worry there were a lot of boxing tournaments later on in which I showed them the first punch wasn't a fluke."

"And you still want to go back?"

"I lived on a tiny island", she told him, not adding the 'you idiot' she was thinking, "I went to high school on the mainland. I won't even have to drive past it."

"We won't you mean", he corrected her.

"It's a wedding. You'll be bored."

"And I've already told you, I love weddings", he punctuated every word with a kiss, "It makes everyone so..."

"Jaime!" Brienne stopped him as he reached for the hem of her shirt.

"I was going to say romantic", he protested.

"Aren't you tired yet?"

He shook his head.

"You owe me a story then."

                                                                                                                          **********

Brienne lay down on her back and offered her hands to pull Jaime down beside her. He settled as he was, head on her shoulder, and felt her body heat warm him through. "Once upon a time", he mocked, hoping she would fall asleep before the end of this particular tale. There were a few bits he may have to skim over if she stayed awake long enough. Though at the minute her fingers were drumming out a nervous beat against his lower back.

"Once upon a time, there was a little boy and a little girl who were brought together by death."

"Promise me you won't start any story you tell your future children with that line", Brienne asked, eyes closed but fingers still drumming.

"Do you want me to start over?"

She shook her head.

"They were raised in a castle, under the not so watchful eyes of their now shared father. It was as if they were twins, one mind split into two bodies they were so alike and completely inseparable. They would pretend to be each other at times, learning how different it was for boys and girls."

"She wanted for both of you to be treated equally. I can understand that", Brienne was starting to sound mumbly, half way to sleep.

"They grew up and grew closer. They would pretend things siblings shouldn't pretend", Jaime could hear Cersei's voice, eight years old again, telling him how they weren't really brother and sister so they could run away together.

"The little girl grew up beautiful and smart, the little boy handsome and quick witted. And still they grew closer", the drumming at his back was almost a constant movement now and he reached around to bring Brienne's hand into his. _You wanted this,_ he thought, _you wanted this truth_. And yet Brienne was still so innocent.

"The king found out and the little princess was banished from the castle."

"She's a princess now?"

"All these stories have princesses don't they? I should have started with that", he took a breath, "Once upon a time..."

"Jaime!?"

"Alright. The little prince", she swatted him gently at that, "Wouldn't let the little princess leave without him so he followed her across the country to keep them together. They were in love and they belonged by each others side."

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn."

"Are you quoting Moulin Rouge at me? When you're half asleep?"

Brienne smiled, "How do you even know that?"

"There was an actual song first", Jaime paused, thinking how to fairytale up the next part, "Across the country the prince and princess were freer to express their love. And they weren't so little anymore." _Cersei,_ he remembered, _sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, stunning and only his, every time he went to her._

"And they lived happily ever after."

Brienne opened an eye slowly, staring at him, waiting.

"For a time", he confirmed, "The prince was reckless, he hadn't yet met the brave knight who would try and counteract his carelessness", Brienne smiled as he threaded his fingers through hers, "The princess was smarter than anyone had realised and ambitious with it. They had thought they were perfect and then they weren't anymore."

"Not every story has a happy ending. There's an awful lot of sex and death written out of modern fairytales", Brienne was more than half way to sleep by then but she was still making sense.

"That would fit better", Jaime agreed, "But by that argument some have to end well."

He reached to kiss the nearest spot of skin he could find and she sighed in response. "Go to sleep Jaime."

                                                                                                              **********

 _One day,_ she thought as sleep took her, _Jaime would tell her that story properly and not hidden behind princes and knights_. But for now, with his breath slowing into an easy rhythm against her neck, Brienne realised she had to take what she had been given. 

Tomorrow would bring her other concerns, namely an eight hour drive and introducing a ridiculously handsome man to her father as her boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this too fluffy or is there no such thing? A road trip and a wedding to come next I think.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read, commented and left kudos. For my very first story for this pairing it has been highly suprising that so many have enjoyed it, especially as I do seem to doubt myself while writing.
> 
> As usual comments are love :)


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Won't take nothing but a memory from the house that built me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime meets two faces from Brienne's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yet again I started with a plan for this chapter that wasn't quite realised. Hopefully this isn't too meandering but to get the five main players all in, even briefly, I had to step away from pushing the story too far forward. Sorry.
> 
> This chapter is also huge and not a lot happens. Sorry again.
> 
> There is a quote from Pitch Perfect in here this time and another from Pirates of the Caribbean.
> 
> Chapter title from The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert.

Brienne was discovering that waking up with a warm, dead weight across her chest wasn't exactly unpleasant. From the low light stretching out of the gap in her curtains, she figured it was still far too early for her to wake Jaime up to cajole him into dressing and leaving her room. So for now she allowed herself to doze, Jaime's breath leaving goosebumps as it hit her skin through the thin fabric of her t-shirt, his hair softer than it had any right to be against her neck. Absentmindedly she raised a hand to run through the silky texture and even that tiny touch made Jaime murmur deep in his chest, trying to soften up her chest muscles with his head and shoulders to provide a more comfortable resting place. His body provided skin on skin friction and it sent arousal spiking to her belly, leading her to want to wake him if only to dissipate the tingling starting in her toes. 

She assumed that she must have twitched or moved enough to make him uncomfortable as it was only seconds later that Jaime blinked up at her, green eyes still heavily lidded with sleep. She was kissing him into the pillows before she had a chance to stop herself. He looked at her in question, pupils growing in the dim light, when she pulled away briefly to catch her breath, his matching hers ragged pull by ragged pull.

Brienne shrugged, fighting a blush, "I dreamed of you."

                                                                                                                         **********

Margaery Tyrell was so late home it was probably better to class the time as early. She felt like she could sleep for about three days so was infinitely glad that the next week was a vacation for the college. Brienne was due to go to a wedding the Tyrell's didn't have to make up floral arrangements for and Sansa was up to her eyes in the spring Shakespeare play so it meant she would have the entire house to herself for several days to do nothing at all. It was a rare occurrence that she felt like doing nothing, but with the summer coming up Margaery knew the work in the shop would be non-stop and this may be the only time to recharge her batteries for a while.

The house was quiet as she opened the front door, so she didn't call out to her roommates like she normally would. However tinny music was blaring from what she guessed would be the kitchen. Following the sound she found Sansa flicking through a magazine at the kitchen bench, eating breakfast with her tiny ear bud headphones in. Margaery could hear every word of the sugary dance-pop the redhead was listening to so when she shouted "Sansa!" the first time it wasn't a surprise she couldn't hear her.

"Sansa!" Margaery banged the table with her palm, startling the redhead who split her cereal across the bench and down her dress. Margaery indicated that her friend should remove her headphones.

"Did you just get in?" Sansa asked, dabbing at the spreading milk stain across her dark blue skirt.

"We had one of those sunrise weddings, I've been making up bouquets all night."

Sansa smiled, "How romantic."

"If you really think so next time you can come and get stabbed by a thousand thorns instead of sleeping", Margaery yawned to prove her point.

"I don't know how much more sleep you would have got here to be honest."

"Oh?" Margaery paused and right on cue some rather happy sounding noises made their way downstairs, "Oh. Really?" she paused again, "Gods they're loud."

"Hence the headphones", Sansa was blushing now but there was also a self-satisfied smile quirking at the corners of her mouth.

"Are you happy?" the brunette asked without a shred of sarcasm.

Sansa nodded, "I'm already planning a winter wedding. Blue and white."

Margaery laughed, "Orchids and roses with silver ribbons", she laughed again, shaking her head. "All the pollen is obviously affecting me."

Sansa grinned, "You know you're with me. Come over to the happy side."

Margaery glanced up at the ceiling again, "I think we may need to move out well before that happens."

                                                                                                                            **********

Brienne smiled at him as they rolled away from each other, soft and sleepy but worth a thousand words. Though she did it far more now, Jaime thought he would never get used to seeing her smile at him. It was such a small gesture but from Brienne it was a comfort that made his heart swell.

"Shower?" he asked, fighting a yawn as he stretched, watching her watch him.

"You know you're half way to moving in already", she was still smiling but the more familiar emotion of exasperation was slipping into her words.

He simply smirked up at her in response.

"But you will need clothes", she continued, "Other people do live here, you can't just wander around naked."

Jaime quirked an eyebrow, letting Brienne run all her words together as even now embarrassment was never too far away.

"However lovely that may be", she whispered and on that note he reached across to make her cover his body with her own one more time.

                                                                                                                      **********

"You know discretion is the better part of valour", Margaery hissed at Sansa, as the redhead began to creep up the stairs.

"I need to change my dress", Sansa protested

"And you couldn't maybe do that later or I don't know, take one of the dresses you've got hanging up to dry in the kitchen."

Sansa shook her head.

Margaery rolled her eyes and went back into the front room.

It wasn't as if Sansa actually wanted to catch Brienne and Jaime doing anything, that madness led to therapy she couldn't afford, but she did want to congratulate them if, and only if, everyone was fully dressed. She couldn't even sit through the sex scenes on HBO television shows without being a little embarrassed so real life intimacy was probably beyond her at the minute.

She met Brienne at the top of the stairs in a grey t-shirt that fell to her thighs, blonde hair sticking to the back of her neck but looking as relaxed as Sansa had ever seen her. 

Sansa smiled, "Is everything ok?"

Brienne nodded, "I don't know why you all cared so much but thank you anyway."

"We're your friends. It's what we are supposed to do."

"Honestly I wouldn't know, I haven't had much experience with any of this", Brienne admitted as Sansa patted her arm.

"Well you do now. I'd say deal with it but I'm not Margaery."

"I love you awesome nerds."

"We love you too."

"Awwwwwww", Jaime half mocked from the doorway behind them, shirtless but in his jeans. Sansa firmly made the decision to look only at his face.

He took two steps to Brienne, settling his arms around the slightly taller girl's waist and resting his head on her shoulder. "Now you're quite done meddling", he began, "I think it's time we found you two something else to occupy your time. Is there anyone we need to set you or Margaery up with?"

Brienne swatted Jaime playfully but he just smiled and pulled her closer to him. Sansa thought it was all adorable.

"So?", he prompted, "Between Tyrion and me I think we know almost everyone on campus."

Sansa looked away, "Margaery doesn't need..."

"I knew I was right about her!" Jaime exclaimed, "Who?"

Sansa saw Brienne sigh and disentangle herself from Jaime, pointing between him and the smaller redhead, "Gossip as much as you want. I'm going to do something productive."

"Who then?" Jaime pushed Sansa for an answer.

"Oh, she's been dating Robb for months now", she paused, considering her next words carefully, "But she's been very quiet about it."

"Touché"

                                                                                                                 **********

Brienne was finalising her packing by the time Jaime padded back into her room. She fixed him a withering stare and he slowly shook his head back at her, collapsing back into her bed.

"No", she told him, "No more sleeping."

"I didn't want to sleep", he replied with a wicked grin.

"None of that either."

Jaime sighed but sat up again, "Just how far away do you live again?"

"Eight hour drive, forty minute boat ride", at the look on his face she continued, "But you're under no obligation to come along."

"I think you need me to keep you awake after last night. And this morning", he had the smirk back on his face Brienne noticed as he stepped across the room to kiss her again, though she pushed him away before it went beyond a light touch.

"Shower", she told him, though at the spark in his eyes she found herself adding, "Separately."

"Today."

"Horn-dog."

"I like being with you, besides I think it's going to be highly inappropriate to make as much noise as we did this morning under your father's roof. The water might muffle the sound."

"Shower", Brienne reiterated, "Preferably cold."

"You started it", Jaime grinned in response but for once did as he was told.

                                                                                                             **********

It hadn't really taken much more than an hour to get the pair of them ready and on the road after that, though Sansa did whisper to Brienne to make sure to catch the bouquet as they left which stopped the blonde in her tracks for a minute or two.

"Are we there yet?" Jaime joked as Brienne turned her small car out of the street and on to the main road through campus.

"Are you going to be like this the whole way?"

"Probably."

She glanced across at him, careful not to take her eyes off the road for longer than a second and found his face full of amusement. He had borrowed one of her shirts, a blue-white-black plaid one she'd forgotten she owned, and Brienne thought it actually fitted him better than it did her. Though however much she liked the idea of him wearing her clothes, he honestly couldn't turn up to her fathers wedding looking like a lumberjack, week old beard and all.

"Where are we actually going?" he asked as she avoided the correct turn off and headed deeper into the campus grounds.

"You need clothes so I called ahead."

"Tyrion's back?" Jaime sounded surprised so obviously the brothers hadn't talked recently, "Where the hell was he?"

"Havana apparently", she clicked the indicator on as she manoeuvred the tricky corner onto Jaime's street.

"I really don't wanna know", he sighed back.

"He told me he was visiting an ex-girlfriend when I called."

"Wow", she glanced over at Jaime as he explained, "High school, big scandal, very public break up. You know my family, very little subtlety." 

"No you don't do subtle or humble", she agreed

"Hey, I can be ... humble"

"Let me know when that happens. I'll get Sansa to bake you a cake", Brienne bit back, but she knew she was smiling too as they fell into an easy back and forth which was all too soon interrupted by Jaime's younger brother yelling from the side of the road.

"Be careful", Tyrion told Brienne, handing over Jaime's bags as his older brother protested about not being allowed to pack his own stuff.

"I will", Brienne replied, unsure of what exactly he was referring to. Tyrion's smile was giving absolutely nothing away.

"Don't fuck this up", the smaller man stage whispered to Jaime as he wished them both well, winking at Brienne as he did. 

Brienne wasn't sure how and when she had gained so many friends.

                                                                                                                                  ********

"What's your dad like?" Jaime had finally turned off the radio he had been fiddling with for the past three hours and asked a serious question after miles of quips about rest stops and truckers. He wasn't the easiest passenger she knew, far too restless to enjoy the ride as if somehow being made to sit still for long periods of time was against his guidelines. 

Though as the question was asked she simply thought, _he's nothing like yours._ Though that would be rather rude to admit out loud, even if that was what Jaime was assuming.

"He's brilliant", Brienne knew she was beaming and didn't care, her dad was one of the best people she knew, "Sure he wasn't around a lot before I was a teenager, but it's been only me and him for a long time so we're really close. He used to take me on these amazing adventures when I was little, Egypt, Australia, Brazil, just so we could have bonding time. He taught me how to box, how to swim and how to ride horses." She realised that her dad was one of the few subjects she could talk about without feeling like she had to think too much. And with Jaime she had to usually watch her every word.

"Sounds amazing"

"I think he was just trying to make up for all the time he missed. As if he could cram several months into a couple of weeks but it was still pretty awesome", she dragged out the last word, knowing that there really wasn't a word or an emotion to describe being nine years old and watching the sun rise over Table Mountain.

Jaime brought her back down to earth with a bang, "What happened to your..."

"When I was six", Brienne interjected before he could say the final word, not wanting this to turn into a pity party. "I had a nanny for a bit but it was awful. Mrs Roelle, she was like something out of a Bronte novel."

"We had nannies too", Jaime offered, "They were mainly ok, but you never forget the bad ones."

Brienne imagined Jaime, Cersei and Tyrion as children and shuddered in pity for the poor women brought in to try and control them. Jaime alone would have been an utter terror she guessed.

"I never really got a good one", she replied, "When my dad discovered she'd been spending her time making sure I knew how ugly and stupid I was he fired her. After that I was allowed to run a little wild for a bit, my dad had loads of friends so I'd never be in the same house for more than two nights in a row."

"You were an army brat that never went more than ten miles away from her own house", Jaime condensed her story into one easy sentence.

"I guess. He took semi-retirement when I was fourteen and it's just been us and his ever revolving parade of women since."

"Nobody's perfect."

She regarded Jaime out of the corner of her eye as she slowed to a stop for traffic, wondering if he could actually be nervous for what awaited them.  
  
"Do you think he'll like me?" he asked quietly, completely un-Jaime like.

Brienne considered this for a moment before doing the most dangerous thing she'd ever done while almost driving, she leant over and very gently kissed Jaime's cheek. "He will love you."

                                                                                                           *************

 _The entire length of the island of Tarth could probably be walked in a few hours_ , Jaime thought, as Brienne carefully drove her car down the winding roads into what must have been the main street. It was quaint, in an English country village kind of way, and Jaime would have thought time had stopped here sometime around the early nineteenth century had it not been for the few cars parked in front of a tiny shop.

"You grew up here?" he asked Brienne, incredulous.

"Now you know why I wanted to go to Kings."

"It's so peaceful."

"Which you will find boring after a few days I'm sure."

Jaime smiled, "Maybe. Maybe not."

She stopped suddenly, Jaime not even noticing the turn she must have pulled smoothly a few minutes ago. "Well this is it. Evenfall."

He muttered something Brienne didn't catch as she reached out of the window to stroke the well worn house sign, something she must have done since the day she was tall enough to reach it.

To the untrained eye, Evenfall was a bungalow in the middle of a field leading on to a sandy beach and to the sea. A little thatched cottage belonging to another era. But on closer inspection it had a not entirely hidden beauty, the light coming off the water hit the front windows like a prism and produced a thousand rainbows in each pane of glass, the dirty brown straw and brick combination looked homely and the field was full of wild flowers. _It honestly looked like somewhere Sansa Stark would daydream of_ , Jaime thought, _and it was perfect for a wedding_.

Brienne mustn't have noticed the giant marquee behind the house, half way to the beach, because as soon as the dirty brown and green front door opened she was running. 

There was no denying that Brienne was her fathers daughter. Selwyn Tarth stood an easy six and a half feet tall in the doorway of the cottage, though the house deceptively didn't look any smaller behind him. At one point Jaime realised, Selywn must have been an unstoppable athlete though now the muscle had faded to fat as middle age spread had set in. He was blond like his daughter, though it was nearly all silver, a beard the same colour covered his cheeks and chin, giving him a distinctly wizard-like impression. If Jaime wasn't apprehensive before, he was now. Brienne had mentioned that she never had taken a boy home before, but she had forgotten that he hadn't been in this situation before either. He would have felt better if she had been at his side, but she was currently being picked up off the ground by her dad in an enormous hug. It was almost nice to see some families didn't have the issues the Lannister's had.

Behind Selwyn, a pretty but non-descript mousy blonde stood, tall but dwarfed by Brienne and her father. The fiancee waved at Jaime across the field and he finally found his feet and made his way to the house.

"Dad", Brienne was saying as Jaime reached ear-shot range, "I hope you don't mind but I brought a friend."

Jaime stood absolutely still as the Colonel regarded him with military precision. If he had been sweet and loving with his daughter, he was looking at Jaime like he was an enemy insurgent. Selywn looked Jaime in the eye, at his daughter and back to Jaime before bursting out into laughter. _Ok,_ Jaime thought, _where's the joke?_

"So is it one bed or two?" the older man asked and Jaime allowed himself a glance at Brienne who true to form was pinking across her face.

"Two", Jaime said at the exact point Brienne stuttered out "One."

Selwyn laughed again as he made to hug his daughter again, "Does this young man have a name then?"

"Jaime", Brienne told him, her words muffled as she was being crushed very slightly.

"The famous Jaime Lannister", Selwyn extended his hand, "It is very nice to finally meet you young man. Do you know you've been an interesting conversation topic around our table since Brienne mentioned you in passing more than once over Christmas?"

Jaime couldn't help but smile at that, even her father had guessed her true feelings before she had come to terms with them. 

"I may have mentioned him once", Brienne considered from beside the other woman.

"If once means once a day then yes you did", her father corrected her.

It looked like this may be fun after all, Jaime thought as he made to follow Brienne into the house, stopping briefly to introduce himself to the mousy blonde who's name it turned out was Jeyne.

"If you two want to head out around the back we are having a pre-wedding party", Jeyne told him sweetly and he reached for Brienne's hand before she could protest.

"You were right, I really think your dad likes me", he went to nuzzle her neck as they headed into the half full marquee.

"Jaime", her voice was a warning bell in his ear, "I think we need to go into the house now."

He looked over to where she was staring, a dark haired, average height man around the same age as Brienne was laughing with a few girls who must have been Jeyne's bridesmaids. He was in army dress greens and the younger girls were hanging on his every word. Beside him Brienne was tense, her every nerve on edge.

"Who is he?" Jaime whispered as a noise behind them made the dark haired man look up and smile.

Brienne froze, "A bad memory", she told Jaime as the man began to walk over to them. "We should go."

"My darling Brienne", the darker man began and now it was Jaime's turn to tense up. "I expected that you would be here alone tonight."

Brienne muttered something under her breath that vaguely sounded like a suggestion of what the man could do to himself on his own and Jaime laughed though he hadn't meant to.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?"

She coloured and Jaime reached out for her hand but she shook him away with a look that told him to stop. 

"Jaime this is Hyle Hunt."

"There should be a lieutenant in there somewhere", the other man, Hunt, joked as he offered Jaime his right hand.

"Hyle this is Jaime Lannister."

"Her boyfriend", Jaime extended his left hand, his only good hand, and Hunt didn't miss a beat.

"It's nice to meet you Jaime, remind me later to tell you some stories about our beautiful girl."

" _Our_ girl?" Jaime asked as Hunt was pulled away again by giggling bridesmaids.

"Don't believe a word he says", Brienne was beet red and almost shaking.

"Why? What did he do?"

"He lied."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope I didn't loose you somewhere in the middle and I will eventually get around to writing a wedding!
> 
> Huge thanks to everyone who has already commented and left kudos, all of it really makes me smile and keeps me writing so any further comments are very much appreciated! :)


	18. Chapter Eighteen: I do (believe in something you know)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Tarth, home of unwanted proposals and short wedding ceremonies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your brilliant comments once again, I was a little unsure about adding Hyle Hunt at this stage but it seems he's a welcome addition and actually quite fun to write :)
> 
> Little bits from Hunt and Brienne's  meetings in AFFC have snuck in here, his comment about her use for men and her thanking him not to touch amongst them. 
> 
> There's also a Doctor Who quote in here, and the 'I love you' 'I know' is straight out of Star Wars (mainly as I mentioned Jaime wanted to be Han Solo for Halloween in an earlier chapter)
> 
> (And it's gotten a little smutty again. I hope that's ok)
> 
> Chapter title is from I Do Believe by The Duke Spirit.
> 
> So without further ado here is the promised wedding (amongst an awful lot of other stuff, it's basically about 5,000 words of fluff and the actual wedding is really near the end)

Brienne was stony in her silence beside him, not even turning her head to meet Jaime's searching eyes. The early joviality of the day seemed to be forgotten as she stared after the Lieutenant, who now shamelessly had a extremely pretty but terribly drunk brunette pushed up against him. 

Jaime knew there were very few people in her life that could push her to this point, mainly she would sigh quietly in exasperation and continue on her way, not allowing herself to waste the time on getting worked up. Or she would use Margaery's favourite trick and roll her eyes once the person causing the annoyance had passed. The only other time Jaime had seen Brienne like this was, truthfully, when dealing with him in the early days. The thought hit him hard and a spike of jealousy ran through his veins, Hunt obviously was someone of importance though with the way Brienne was currently staring he was almost afraid to ask.

He reached for her hand again, a small gesture of comfort, pretending he didn't actually care what Hunt had lied about but the facade couldn't prevent the unease that followed that word. Lying to Brienne was almost a crime worthy of capital punishment, the falsehoods breaking the stubborn honour she had, and nd a man lying to her led Jaime to only one place and he didn't like that one bit. 

But he didn't voice that concern, not now, not when she was standing fuming, her emotions almost steaming off her like sweat off a winning racehorse. Instead he simply asked, "Do you wanna show me around?"

                                                                                                             **********

Hunt. 

His voice alone was a punch to the stomach, his face a slap to her own. And words of endearment had poured out of his mouth, each one more mocking than the last to her ears. His normal sentiments were more like the fact that she was the ugliest female he had encountered in his life, though Tarth wasn't big by any stretch of the imagination and the _Lieutenant_ wasn't well traveled.

As a boy he had been a tormentor, as a young man a danger, honesty shining through his laughing hazel eyes as he played his part in what became the worst six months of her life. Hunt had even wanted her to thank him when he ended the bet with the other boys. With Connington in the hospital and teachers involved it was clear the _'maid was more trouble than she was worth_.' He had spoken those words as plainly as he had whispered beautiful promises only weeks earlier. Hunt had no honesty, Brienne had worked that over the years, he only had cowardice running across his plain face. And now it appeared he was a coward hiding behind a uniform and a rulebook.

_And to think he had still wanted..._

Jaime's hand suddenly found hers, his gentle words a caress. 

"What do you want to see?", she asked back, allowing him to be a strangely calming influence.

"Surprise me."

"I need a drink."

She watched as Jaime's eyebrows flew up, "Well that is a surprise, though I think it's probably a long time coming. You wouldn't be the first I've driven to drink".

 _Cersei_ , Brienne thought, willing her mind not to go to darker places where golden twins embraced. 

"... Just say the word you know and I'll kick his ass", she'd missed the beginning of his comment but Jaime pointed at Hunt who was now leaning haphazardly against the side of the marquee, who raised his glass in response.

"I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself", she whispered so the younger man wouldn't be able to hear.

"You've put me back together more than once, I can't say another time would really be all that problematic in the long run."

"No I meant he isn't worth it".

"We'll see."

Jaime was growling like a guard dog though he hadn't yet pushed for any kind of explanation, so her sudden desire to kiss him senseless in public seemed a stupid sensation to fight.

 

"I thought Brienne the Beauty had no use for men", Hunt drawled at her as she picked up a glass of what looked to be the same pink champagne her father had sent for her birthday.

She winced at the old nickname. "I guess it depends on the man." She had put up with enough of Jaime's shit to not be more than mildly irritated by Hunt's attempts at mockery.

Though if Hunt was put off by her new found confidence he didn't show it, "He's very pretty. Jaime", he was mocking them both now, "It almost makes up for what you lack."

"This may come as a surprise but there are more important things than beauty".

"Says the girl who's never heard that word directed at her honestly."

Brienne smiled at his assumption, he seemed to forget that beauty wasn't always a gift. 

"Not that it matters much of course", he continued, "In the dark you’d be as beautiful as any other woman. So my offer still stands, should you ever grow tired of the blond", Hunt stretched his welcome, invading her personal space and caressing her arm like a lover.

"I would thank you not to touch me", Brienne removed his hand from her arm, tightening around his fingers in a vice like grip.

"Thanks at last", Hunt smirked, arching back into her touch.

And right on cue Jaime was by her side, pushing the darker man off, out of the marquee and into the evening air. "I believe Brienne indicated that she would prefer you out of her face."

"She's indicated that before", Hunt had the audacity to smile then, "But never for long."

The implication was heavy and Jaime didn't miss it. "Are you a betting man Lieutenant?"

"In my day, indeed I was. But I have now seen the error of my ways. My intentions are strictly honourable, I only wish the lady would respond in kind".

"I think 'the lady' has made her decision. You'd be wise to heed it."

"Oh but her promises have always been a fickle friend. I suppose you haven't known her long enough to realise."

"I know her better than you."

"I'm sure that isn't completely true", he looked straight into Jaime's eyes, "Though I can't say I don't envy the parts of you that do. I've always wondered..."

That did it. Hunt took the punch like the boxer he had been, and jabbed two back at the taller man hitting Jaime's unguarded and damaged right side. _Cheap and petty_ , Brienne thought not knowing what the hell was going on, one second it was almost as if they were trying to out-polite each other even if their words were getting harder and then they were all fists. She found she wanted to bang their heads together. 

On a good day Brienne thought that Hunt and Jaime might have actually got on, they both talked too much and found her intriguingly amusing. But that would have had to be a day where a bet hadn't been placed or a day where Jaime wouldn't defend what little there was left of her innocent honour with his fists.

"Jaime!", Brienne found herself exclaiming and when they still didn't stop, "Children!"

The bridesmaids had stopped giggling behind her as they looked on at the odd sight, Hunt cool and collected and looking like some kind of crazy uniformed fantasy staring down Jaime, fiery gorgeous and scruffy. She thought any one of the pretty little things would probably kill to have those two men fighting over them.

"I concede", Hunt threw up his hands, as Jaime landed another hit to the his face, "To the victor the spoils."

"For now", he murmured pleasantly at Brienne as he passed, “If you leave your door open tonight I will prove the truth of what I've promised.”

“If you do, you’ll be a eunuch when you leave.”

"My dear, you really should have accepted my proposal when I made it. Then you wouldn't have had to settle."

"This isn't settling."

Hunt raised an eyebrow, "As usual Brienne, it has been an utter pleasure."

"Proposal?" Jaime asked as soon as Hunt had picked up a bridesmaid and disappeared into the dark, "Really? If I had thought you were that conventional I..."

She cut him off before he could finish, the road to hell was paved with good intentions after all, "We really need to talk."

              *                                                                                                    **********

Jaime followed Brienne out onto the beach, the blonde girl sitting down in the sand and patting a space beside her.

"What are we doing out here anyway. It's freezing."

"It's not that bad", Brienne replied, though she hugged her arms to her chest as Jaime finally made the decision to sit down, the sounds of the party still in the background. There was a moment of silence between them before she whispered, "Jaime, look up."

"What am I looking for?" he asked, sliding closer towards her, thinking  he'd never been anywhere as wild and pure as Brienne's tiny little island. 

"Just look up."

Jaime did and saw the patterns of  tiny lights set against the midnight sky, sparkling like proverbial diamonds. 

"There's too many artificial lights around here today to see anything properly", Brienne explained, "But when I'm home I like to sometimes just come out here and look at the sky.  It's a bit of a tradition, especially on special occasions." She paused and Jaime noted the catch in her voice. 

"We used to do it when I was little, before she died", he put his hand on her knee, realising she was sharing something special with him yet again and felt guilty that he didn't have the memories left to share with her.

"Now it just makes me feel like I'm being watched over."

Jaime squeezed and she jumped a little. "Your mother would be so proud of you."

Brienne smiled sadly, "I wish she was here to say that."

Jaime draped an arm around her shoulders and attempted to pull her into his side. She resisted for a second before sighing and going with the lateral movement.  "Marriage shouldn't be a means to an end", she told him unexpectedly, "It should be loving and beautiful and equal."

"Where did that come from? Your dad surely doesn't think that?"

"Not him."

"Hunt", Jaime spat out the name as if it were an expletive, "He suggested that? To you of all people?"

"When I came back from college with all my wanderlust satisfied and he was a Lieutenant or Captain or something he suggested that we may make a good match. That despite the way I look I might be a valuable companion, being as I am a Colonel's daughter. I understand the circles."

"A valuable companion? Is your name Miss Bennett now?"

"Jaime?!" she looked up, blue eyes the same colour as the choppy seas hitting the beach below their feet, "Be serious."

"I am. You shouldn't be dragged into an antiquated view of the world because you're not what they want you to be." She smiled slightly and Jaime pulled her closer, already planning on messing up this clearly romantic moment. "Besides he wouldn't know how to handle you."

She shoved him, "I don't need handling."

"But you like it", he moved his arm around her waist, his hand to her chest.

"Jaime", his name was almost a sigh and he thought he would never get tired of that though she was beginning to feel like ice next to him. The longer they stayed put the colder it was likely to get as it seemed the spring on Tarth wasn't as warm as it was at Kings. "I need to get you somewhere warm", he told her hair.

"I'm fine", she retorted but the shivers told a different story.  
   
"Come on", he jumped up with catlike grace and offered Brienne his left hand, "Bed. Now."

"I'm not... I mean I don't.." she stumbled over her words adorably.

"I promise I'll not touch you", Jaime shook his head at her, "Though if you're interested..."

She smacked his left hand away but she pushed herself up to follow him into the house.

                                                                                                         **********

Evenfall never surprised Brienne but the way Jaime was looking, you would have thought she'd taken him into the TARDIS. 

"It's bigger on the inside", Jaime whispered as he took in the high ceilings and vastness of the downstairs rooms. "How's it bigger on the inside?"

"It's not really", she admitted, "It's just no one ever looks properly".

"You would tell me if you were an alien right?" he joked and she shook her head in response.

"Why would I tell you that? I'd be breaking about a hundred rules."

Jaime laughed before she shushed him and he half stumbled against her. "Where do we sleep?"

Brienne took his hand in hers and led him through the house to the room at the very back, remembering that in the morning the light would hit the water and sparkle her awake. It was stunning, and a world apart from Medieval Literature assignments and Shakespeare performances.

"We could stay here forever", Jaime told her from the bed, already undressing. "You really do know how to pick a bed. This one may be even better than the one at your other house."

"You said two", she whispered

"What?...oh. I can sleep on the floor if you insist. It'll be like old times", he paused, "Though you said one."

She turned and saw him already tucked up under her quilt. "Shut up", Brienne told him, the smile barely hidden behind her words.

"Make me", Jaime threw back the quilt and gestured for her to join him.

"No ulterior motive?" she asked him, taking in his distinct lack of clothes.

"Get over here."

"Come on, even you admitted that this is inappropriate."

"Why don't you live a little. We could try to be quiet for a change."

It didn't take long for her to accept that challenge.

 

Brienne would be a liar if she couldn't admit that she hadn't dreamt about this as a teenager, after Connington's broken nose but before Hyle's ridiculous offer, that a man would take her home and simply look at her the way Jaime currently was. His green eyes were heavy lidded with desire but his face was so loving that she almost wanted to move off him so they could do something sweeter.

He thrust up into her again before she had a chance to voice that wish, forceful but not uncomfortable, and she tightened around him primally rocking against the already familiar movement.

"I love you", he told her, hand tender at her jaw, the words breaking as he moved as close as he could get, arms around her back pulling her down to him.

"I know", her own words were breathy, more than half way to a moan as Jaime added friction from his fingers to exquisitely ease her along. She pushed her hands into his hair, her favourite resting place, as she bent to kiss him.

He laughed breathlessly as she suddenly keened against his mouth, her muscles weakening causing her to fall against him, unintentionally biting down into the muscle at his shoulder as she tensed, relaxing as soon as her release hit.

"Vicious wench", Jaime groaned, throwing back his head as he ran a finger over her lips.

She laughed back, covering his mouth with hers, urging him with her body to his peak in the almost silence.

He smirked at her a few minutes later, as Brienne settled her head into his non bitten shoulder "You mustn't have got the memo that love bites generally mean you don't draw blood."

She stretched over and kissed the tender, but unbroken, flesh, "You'll heal."

"I always do."

                                                                                                                  **********

"Pancakes!"

The harsh sound of metal on metal woke Jaime up from an amazing dream, brought on no doubt by the smell of vanilla and salt that came off the blonde beside him in waves. She was already awake, her back pressed to his chest, holding a paperback book in her hands and reading very carefully as if not to wake him before he was ready. Brienne was also wearing the shirt he had on yesterday, and in another situation he would have found that wholly arousing.

"Pancakes?" he asked Brienne, who put her book down and turned to curl against him.

"Jeyne's a chef. She makes the best pancakes I've ever had. Dad tries but he mainly gets in the way."

"I don't think I've ever had someone wake me with the promise of pancakes."

"You've missed out."

She made to move then but he pulled her back down, "Five more minutes?" he questioned, hearing her sigh but she didn't voice her protestations as she let him hold her for a little while longer.

 

By the time they made it into the kitchen, Jeyne was serving up fluffy golden brown pancakes onto bone white china with enough maple syrup to send all four of them into sugar induced comas. Jaime felt his mouth water at the smell alone.

"Thank you", he told her honestly as he picked up a plate, stealing a bite even before he sat down, syrup running down his fingers. 

Brienne bounced up behind him still wearing that shirt, producing a small smile from Selwyn which Jaime caught out of the corner of his eye, "Morning dad. Jeyne", she was a like a different person here in her safe little space, "These look amazing but you really didn't need to. I hope Jaime thanked you for cooking for us on your wedding day."

"I thought the wedding was tomorrow", he mumbled through a mouthful of heaven.

"That's Lannister for thanks", Brienne translated.

Jeyne shrugged, "You're our guests, it was the polite thing to do."

"I offered", Selwyn looked up from the sports page in front of him, "But Jeyne insisted."

Jaime didn't miss the smile that passed between father and daughter, a friendly family exchange of love that he had rarely seen from any of his own immediate family members.

"I'm sorry but you'll have to eat quickly", the mousy blonde was pushing her own food around her plate, "I hope you don't mind but I've added you to my bridesmaids list."

Brienne paused, fork to her mouth, and the look of abject terror on her face was half way to adorable.

"I mean you don't have to", Jeyne backtracked, "Your dad warned me about your aversion to dresses so I had something else made and no flowers but as you don't need a mother anymore, and I wouldn't want to step on any toes there, I thought maybe this could be the start of a friendship."

Brienne put down her fork, swallowed and reached for Jeyne. "I would like that very much."

Selwyn beamed at the women and went back to reading the sports news in front of him. 

"Have fun", Jaime snarked as Jeyne all but pushed Brienne through the house and out of the front door. He reached for Brienne's unfinished plate of food, realising he was now alone with her dad. 

"You're with me this morning son", Selwyn told him, scary for a second before smiling, "I can't promise much fun though."

In that second Jaime didn't know if he or Brienne had drawn the shorter straw.

                                                                                                             *********

"I would kill for the legs to be able to wear that", the pretty brunette who'd gone home with Hunt the previous night stood by Brienne's side as the pair stared at the outfit Jeyne had commissioned for her future step-daughter. They had all introduced themselves to Brienne, but it had been a whirlwind of hair and laughter which meant she hadn't really taken much information in. Hunt's girl, _Sera perhaps?,_  had thrust a glass of sparkling orange juice at the tall blonde before leading her to the jumpsuit hanging up on the back of the downstairs bathroom door.

"It's amazing", Brienne ran the cream silk between her fingers before turning around, "I can't wear that."

"Sure you can", Sera continued, "It's not like it'll look any good on anyone else here."

"That's not a reason", Brienne began but found herself alone suddenly. Thinking of the only people she trusted to give her a honest answer she quickly snapped a picture with her phone and sent it across the wifi into the unknown.

The phone buzzed in her hand immediately, demanding her attention.

"It's a-ma-zing", Sansa chirped down the line as Brienne answered, "You have to wear it."

"You'll look like a Tarantino heroine", Margaery piped up, clearly on speakerphone.

"But less violent. It's a wedding Marg not a bloodbath."

"I know, I'm just saying it's stronger than any bridesmaids dress I've seen. And I've seen a lot".

They both laughed and Brienne joined in, sitting down on the floor between the kitchen and bathroom. 

"What are the flowers like?" Margaery asked business-like.

"You can't ask that!" Sansa was shocked.

"Yes I can, call it professional curiosity."

"I haven't seen them yet to be honest", Brienne admitted.

"If they're white don't take them", Margaery warned, "It'll make the colour of the material look dirty. But Jaime'll need one regardless."

"How do you know all this?" Brienne questioned slowly, unsure she ever wanted to know all the pretty little things her roommates seemed to know subconsciously.

"And don't let them put any gunk on your face. We tried and it didn't work. Mascara only if it'll not clump", Margaery was on a roll.

"Don't forget to have fun", Sansa added before the pair signed off and hung up.

Brienne stared at the jumpsuit again, boosted by her friends confidence in her.  "I guess I am going to the ball then."

                                                                                                                      **********

If Jaime had thought he was going to be tested, then it didn't take long for that idea to be chased away. Selwyn's army buddies took one look at his damaged hand, declared it a war wound and he was accepted as simple as that. Jaime wondered if they knew he was dating the colonel's daughter though, as he caught a few stares from the chair he was currently sitting in. The wedding party was shuffling around the house slowly so he had borrowed one of Brienne's books and tried to stay out of the way the best he could. Hunt was lurking around somewhere which Jaime wasn't overly pleased about, apparently he worked for Selwyn, but the man was sporting some very pretty purpling shades across his cocky face which lightened those feelings considerably.

"Jaime", Selwyn appeared in the doorway of the room fully dressed apart from a tie and his suit jacket, he actually looked less imposing dressed up and more like a friendly banker. The larger man gracefully manoeuvred around the furniture and clapped a plate size hand onto Jaime's shoulder, "Would you mind if I have a word with you?"

 _So this was the talk then_ , Jaime thought following Selwyn out into the only manicured part of the land surrounding the house, though he had already endured similar versions from Catelyn Stark and Margaery.

"You make her happy."

It wasn't a question, it was a simple statement and Jaime didn't know quite how to respond.

"You really do", Selwyn turned to face him answering the unspoken question, "Make sure you keep it that way". He clapped Jaime on the shoulder again as he left the younger man to stare across the sapphire blue waters to the mainland, wondering if that had been a threat or something else entirely.

                                                                                                                           **********

"I would whistle but I don't know how to", Brienne admitted, standing in the doorway to her bedroom after eventually managing to escape from Jeyne's house of shrieking girls and back to the calm of her own surroundings, carefully watching as Jaime fought with a skinny black neck tie. Wherever Tyrion had pulled the dark blue suit from she didn't know, but even at a distance of several feet it looked clearly very expensive and it fitted the intended customer like a glove.

"You're back. I thought you'd been dragged onto bridesmaid duty", Jaime turned, a smile blooming across his face as he took in her outfit, "So you're going to the wedding dressed like... a Charlie's Angel?"

"Margaery suggested Uma Thurman", Brienne reached down and picked at the silk that she felt was already clinging uncomfortably to her thighs. 

"My other thought was Xena, but I like it however you wanna spin it", he offered her the tie across the room, "A little help maybe?"

She took it without hesitation, as he quipped, "It'll make a change to have you help me put my clothes on,"

"I can take it off for you later if you want,"

Jaime nudged her, shoulder to shoulder, as she stood beside him, "You're getting quicker you know. I'm really a bad influence", he looked extremely proud of that fact.

"Practice", she smiled, "Wherever I go I can't escape guys like you."

"There are no guys like me. Only me."

She shook her head as she moved in front of him, trying to tie the knot and finding herself all thumbs as she fumbled with the thin strip of material, "I can't do this with you staring at me."

"I don't know where else to look."

She slid the tie off him and around her own neck, "For future reference just don't undo the knots."

"I won't", he brought his hand into her hair to close the gap between them as Brienne flipped the garment back to him and tightened the expert knot to his throat.

A loud cough separated them just before Jaime's lips crashed into hers, "Jeyne sent me to find you. I can tell her you're otherwise occupied if you want", Hunt stood in the hallway outside her room, smirking at her blush.

"I can go", she shot an apologetic glance at Jaime who took two steps after her before Hunt piped up, "She only needs Brienne."

"Maybe I need Brienne too."

Hunt pulled off an elaborate bow as the blond man passed, Brienne noticing  the barely contained aggression between the two men. _Gods save me from alpha_ _males,_ she thought as she heard a car pull up outside having completely lost track of the time.

"Well I guess I'll see you down the aisle then", Jaime winked as he turned to head out to the back garden.

"Wait", she yelled after him, grabbing a flower from the collection by the front door. As she handed him the single stem ivory rose, blood dripped from her forefinger, "Apparently I'm supposed to make sure you have one of these."

"Aren't I the one supposed to be giving the flowers?" he asked, a flicker of concern at the bloodstained petals.

"Compliments of Stark Tyrell Wedding Planners", she told him as she pinned the flower through his label, licking her fingers to try and remove the blood, "Though they did try and warn me about preventing a bloodbath."

He lifted her hand from his jacket and brought her injured finger to his lips. "You'll heal."

                                                                                                                            *********

Jaime wasn't sure who looked more nervous walking down the hastily laid cream carpet the bride or Brienne, who had followed Jeyne on shaky legs like a newborn deer. The roses someone must have flung on her after he left matched her blushing cheeks in shades of pink and red, which he may have pointed out rudely as she passed causing her to glare. As the small crowd of guests sat, he saw Jeyne press her much larger flower arrangement into Brienne's hands, the taller girl making the bouquet look tiny in comparison. 

The ceremony itself was short and sweet, Selwyn Tarth being at heart a man of few words. There was the standard in richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, but the I do's came around a lot quicker than Jaime was expecting. The bridesmaids were all weeping beautifully by then and he thought he may have even seen the tallest one wipe her eyes briefly. Then there was the joining of hands and a bridal kiss before the music began again. Jaime felt the whole thing had gone past in a bit of a whirlwind. 

Brienne was the last to walk out and she paused by Jaime as Jeyne shooed her cooing girls away from her at the far end of the carpet as she made to follow tradition and throw away her bouquet. She was perfectly still beside Jaime, the sides of their bodies in a glancing touch.

"Are you not going to join your fellow maids?" he asked, not bothering to look at the women by his side, enjoying the slight contact too much to move.

"I don't think that would be wise."

"I think fate has other ideas", he laughed as the pretty missile flew straight through the air and landed at their feet.

Brienne jumped back as if it was a grenade before one of the younger girls scooped it up.

"How did that even happen?" she asked Jaime, shock colouring her words.

He joked back at her, trying to ease her skittishness over a silly superstition, "I guess I'm even more eligible than I thought."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite sure if that was the best place to leave it but it worked in my head and I always like giving Jaime the last word
> 
> All comments are very gratefully received, reading them all really makes me smile
> 
> Thanks for reading to the end of another monster chapter of self indulgent fluff :)


	19. Chapter Nineteen: I must insist that a girl's got more to do (than be the way you think a woman should)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyle gets in the way, Jaime almost opens up and Brienne snaps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think this might be the beginning of the end to this storyline, I've got maybe another 3 or 4 chapters planned and an epilogue and that'll be it. I'd love to keep it going but my slow build wasn't quite slow enough to maintain a longer story and my insomnia helped the regular updates. Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed it enough to encourage me to keep going, some days I've really needed it :)
> 
> I've added two tags, Jaime/Cersei and Brienne/Hyle, but rest assured its only as background to the main couple.
> 
> This chapter is almost all super fluffy fluff (Weddings, what else can I say?)
> 
> There's two Much Ado About Nothing quotes in here again, one from Romeo and Juliet and one from The Sound Of Music.
> 
> Chapter title is from Shape by Sugarbabes.

Brienne didn't think she believed in fate. She should have done, it went hand in hand with her romantic notions of true love and soul mates, but it niggled at her to think that things like a virginity bet and what happened to Jaime's hand had been somehow pre-destined. _If people weren't free to choose their own path in life then what was the point in making choices in the first place._  Plus the internal monologue helped to distill the feeling that Jeyne had deliberately thrown the red bouquet in her direction. The action was almost a card out of the Sansa Stark playbook.

The younger girl who had scooped up the flowers was probably no older than about sixteen, but had quickly claimed them for her own and Brienne almost felt sad about how excited all her friends were.

"It's just a silly superstition", Jaime told her as he caught her staring, all humour gone from his voice, "It's like not seeing the bride before the wedding, it doesn't mean anything."

They still hadn't moved though the makeshift chapel was no more than a quarter full now. Brienne glanced around and noticed that the majority of people left were actually waiting for the last bridesmaid to leave.

"Shall we?" Jaime offered his arm to her, "I can smell food and I'm starving."

She took his arm reluctantly, feeling the softness of his sleeve against her bare skin and thin silk of her outfit, "You had about six pancakes this morning. How can you be hungry again?" 

"It was nearly seven hours ago. How are you not?"

Half a dozen reasons came into her head, but she simply replied, "I really don't know."

She caught one of the possible reasons smirking out of the corner of her eye as they passed him, still seated, feet up against the chair in front of him, looking like he had just strolled in from an army manoeuvre on the beach to rest his feet.

"Can you imagine actually being married?" Brienne whispered to Jaime as they stepped off the fluffy carpet and back onto grass.

"It depends on who it was to."

She stopped still, narrowing her eyes at his lighthearted tone, "I was being serious."

"So was I", Jaime paused, turning to look at her properly, "I wasn't saying now but one day there might be someone."

"Not for me", Brienne dropped her eyes to consider the purple and pink wildflowers that had sprung up around the border of her dad's set out lawn.

"Well clearly you're behind the times", Jaime was making fun again, Brienne could sense it and she tensed waiting for the punchline. "There's maybe two here tonight who wouldn't see that consideration as such a bad thing."

She glanced back at Hunt, who now had his hat over his face pretending to nap in the relatively warm afternoon. It would have been believable had his mouth not kept moving, reacting to every word he could hear.

"Wait, two?" She called after Jaime, who had slipped out of her grip as he caught sight of the tables set up for the next stage of the day.

She saw him shrug. "I said 'maybe' two", he called back, "Remind me to book you in for a hearing test when we get back to college."

Brienne didn't think her immediate response was best shouted across an open space.

"Just to let you know, I may love your dad more than you right now", Jaime joked as she caught up with him at the entrance to the dining area, finally catching sight of the food servers were bringing out. "I mean who has a hog roast at a wedding?"

"If you knew him you wouldn't be asking that."

"Well then from now on I only want to come to events on Tarth."

"You could come for Christmas", she blurted out before realising it was currently only April, falling over her next words as she clarified her position, "I mean if we are still what we are now."

"Of that I have no doubt."

                                                                                             **********

Jeyne Tarth watched from her seat at the long white table set up for the immediate family of the bride and groom as her new step-daughter, correction new friend, scowled and flirted with the boy she brought home to meet her father. Jeyne had been half living in the Tarth family house for a while now and although she cared deeply about Brienne she had never wanted to press any kind of motherly relationship on to her. It wouldn't have been right, especially as she seriously doubted she was actually legally old enough to be the girls mother.

Brienne wasn't all of what Selwyn had described she would be. Yes, she was the tallest young woman Jeyne had ever met and no one would be wanting to call her outward appearance beautiful anytime soon but that didn't take away from the fact that Brienne was sweet when she wanted to be, a little shy and made sure that she stuck to her views. In truth her beauty was just not visible at first glance. Jeyne was also beginning to like the easy confidence that the young man Brienne had mentioned so many times over Christmas and New Year, Jaime, was coaxing out of her. If she even had a penny for every time Jaime Lannister had been mentioned over the past year during phone calls and visits home she may have been able to pay for her honeymoon on that alone. In fact she liked their blossoming relationship so much, that when she noticed that Selwyn's right hand man was trying to make his presence known again she suggested to her maid of honour that the handsome young Lieutenant may need a dance partner. Selwyn had also mentioned in passing how his new second lieutenant lackey had a crush on his daughter. Jeyne wasn't sure if 'crush' was the right word for whatever had happened years back and judging by Hunt's face one of the blonds had clocked him pretty hard in the last day, probably for bringing the subject up again.

After seeing how well Hunt danced, her other bridesmaids almost lined up to be spun around the floor to dance beats and ballads alike. Jeyne had done her dancing for the evening, her pretty but uncomfortable shoes discarded under the table, settling down to the plate of food Selwyn brought her with a smile on his face, relief setting in that there would be no fighting tonight.

                                                                                            ************

"I'm telling you this may be the best wedding I've ever been to", Jaime licked grease of his fingers as she rested her arm along the back of his chair. Brienne had refused her seat at the head table, giving it up to a little bridesmaid who was so disappointed that she couldn't be near Jeyne for the rest of the evening. She'd given her flowers away too, the roses going to the children of her fathers friends as brief reminders of the day. Brienne hadn't seen the issue with it but she did get a hard tut from Sera as the blooms ended up in hands and hair of a dozen little girls. _They wouldn't live forever_ , Brienne thought, _it was better to give them to someone who appreciate them, however briefly that may be_.

"Have you been to many weddings?"

"A few. When my father got married to Joanna the thing looked like something out of Cinderella. Horses, carriage, footmen, the works", he was talking around eating but she found she didn't mind as he long as he told the story.

"Tyrion was barely old enough to walk at the time, so we were only allowed in for the actual ceremony if we kept perfectly silent and perfectly still. If there had been the same number of children there as today then I doubt the vows would have been exchanged."

It didn't surprise Brienne to find out that even a wedding would be cold at Casterly.

"Joanna was a wealthy former debutant with a child out of marriage, so she was a scandal before she even joined the scandalous Lannister's", he grinned and cocked an eyebrow, "As you can imagine she fit right in."

"You don't talk a lot about her."

"Joanna? She died when Cersei and I were about thirteen."

Brienne found herself wondering if that was before or after Jaime and Cersei had become Jaime AND Cersei, hating herself immediately for going to that dark place yet again. "I'm sorry", she spluttered out as he waved her banal apology away.

"Don't look now but your friend is back." Hunt had been trying to catch her eye for a while, spinning around the girls in white dresses and she had been successfully ignoring him so far. "Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps", Jaime muttered as he turned her attention to the rapidly approaching young man in uniform.

"I believe I have not yet had the pleasure", Hunt extended his hand, his right hand, as if he was deliberately trying to draw her attention to what the man beside her was lacking.

"Believe me, I would know if you had", Jaime was always quicker with a put down than she was, though hers were often more thought out.

"You're the last bridesmaid here that I have not danced with tonight", Hunt explained, hand and attention still directed at her, as Jaime glared.

"Forgive us for standing in the way of your perfect record", the blond man drawled in response before Brienne could get a word in edgeways.

"Tonight Lieutenant I'm afraid your desire will have to go un-pleasured", Brienne did her best to stay polite, but judging by Jaime's raised eyebrow and side glance at least one of men in earshot didn't miss the double meaning in her words.

Hunt leaned in too close, careful for Jaime not to hear the next attempt at flattery, "It's not the first time, though I can't say I haven't tried. Pleasure", he drew out the word and she shivered at his bold insistence, "Is better shared."

She couldn't prevent the heat that flew to her face, modesty and outrage fighting their way to the front of her mind. Hunt spoke again before she could sift through the descending fog in her head, "My friend, surely you wouldn't leave me wanting again."

Brienne knew as soon as she raised her hand that it would be a bad move. Almost a Jaime level bad move. She had no want to ruin the day with a cliche but in that moment she couldn't find anything else left to do. Praying that Jeyne didn't see the action, she hit Hunt. It wasn't as she had done when she was younger, closed fist ready to bruise, but as a woman would hit a man like him. Her open palm struck his face as he once again overstepped his boundaries. 

He stroked his face as if her touch had been a gentle caress, "It seems as if the lady may protest a little too much."

She heard the tittering behind them long before she turned and glared at the women on the table to their rear. 

"You should dance with him love", the oldest of the three told her kindly. She could have been someone's grandmother, white haired and lined face, dressed in a matching powder blue suit and hat. "It's been terribly sad to see you sitting there when all the other girls have been enjoying themselves."

"It's not as if you've had any other offers", the slightly younger lady on the right added, eyes flicking to Jaime before settling back on Brienne. _She might well have added what she was truly thinking about everything else too_ , Brienne seethed. She guessed the ladies were Jeyne's relatives as she didn't recognise them or they her.

Jaime sighed, addressing the women who clearly didn't know when to stop talking, "It's not like I don't ask. But honestly I defer to her wiser head in these situations", he dropped his voice to a whisper, hand finding hers, "Besides I find being able to walk unaided is far more important than dancing."

"Do I have a partner then?" Hunt asked clearly, cutting through the moment, as the pastel ladies cooed and waved.

Jaime untangled his hand and made a bold gesture with his arm, "Whatever Brienne wants."

"Will you leave me alone if I do this?" Brienne whispered, refusing to meet the darker man's eyes. _Three minutes_ , she thought, _and all I have to do is shuffle around. He won't even have to touch me so maybe, just maybe, it could be worth it for some eventual peace_.

"On my word as a gentlemen."

Brienne rolled her eyes, but she stood anyway and Hyle grinned as if he'd won some exotic prize.  _An uncomfortable means to a end_ , Brienne thought as she reached for Jaime's hand again. He squeezed hers in response, a mark of understanding. 

She thought she must be crazy to agree to this, as she began to walk away from the almost empty table, an idea that made her feel like she really should have just stayed put. _How often was she really going to encounter Hunt anyway?_ A small voice of reason in her head answered the unspoken question, _only every time she wanted to return home to see her family_. And besides if he did make any kind of move tonight she knew she was taller and stronger.

Jaime's hand was on her shoulder by then, encouraging her to at least glance back. She could tell he was trying to keep the glare out of his eyes as she turned to him, the look on his handsome face changing to something close to amusement as soon as she was close enough for him to quickly dip back. His hand acted as a lever, his foot hooking around hers, holding her steady, as he bent in for a kiss straight out of an old black and white Hollywood movie. 

To say she was stunned when he boldly pulled away would have been an understatement. Hunt grimaced as Jaime gently manoeuvred the taller girl back into an upright position, Brienne dusting herself down self consciously though there wasn't a speck of anything on the cream silk. She felt thankful for the low lighting as she must have turned a shade of pink that was both unthinkable and unmistakable, but when she looked around at Jaime he only winked in response and sent a salute to the back of the departing Hunt.

"You've made a sinner out of me twice today", the Lieutenant told her as she smacked away his hand on their way to the crowded raised dance floor platform, "You've learnt to play the jealousy card very well Brienne."

"I'm not playing any games", she replied with conviction, surprised by the praise but not unhappy that a point had been made.

"I must be mistaken then."

As expected the music was a bouncy pop-dance number and she stood uncomfortably under the shorter man's gaze. They must have looked ridiculous, Brienne thought, though she didn't voice that concern should it lead to him moving closer.

"I'm not a war to be fought over you know. You won't die if you don't win."

"My heart may die."

Another girl would have melted at those words, another girl who hadn't suffered under his charm. "You mean your wallet and future rank", she told him plainly.

"That among other things, my dear."

"Is that why you wont let be me what I am and seek not to alter me?"

"But you are altered and I sadly did not even have a hand to play in it", he made sure she saw the flexing of his right hand at that and she nearly hit him again for his audacity.

"Change isn't always bad. Is there not any part of you that can just be happy?"

"Not likely. Your happiness feeds my own melancholia,"

"I am not what you want. I'm not wife material. Not now, not ever,"

"You underestimate yourself. You are far more woman than you think. That earlier kiss alone proves that you at least want to be treated like a woman,"

He took a step forward and she took one back, almost falling off the edge of the platform, "I am not a pawn for any man to move at his will."

"You would move eventually."

The song and Brienne's patience were coming to an end. "How many times do I have to say no?"

"Always once more."

"Then you have your answer."

She bowed to him as the music finished, her movements far more graceful than the two shuffling steps she'd tried that had no right to be called dancing and as she turned she walked straight into Jaime.

"You didn't think I'd let him steal you away from me for too long, did you?"

"I can't be stolen, or borrowed, or given", Brienne snapped without meaning to.

"I know", Jaime soothed, "But they're playing our song."

She sighed, catching the words of the same song that played during their disastrous attempt at dancing at Cersei's Valentines party. "I think I may be too tired to make a fool of myself again, can we just go somewhere else?"

"Your wish is my command", he wrapped an arm around her waist and she leant into him. 

They had barely taken five steps before Jaime asked her to wait, squirming out of his jacket and throwing it around her shoulders. "Forgive my cliche", he told her as he pulled her against him once more.

It couldn't have been that late, Brienne thought, but the nights still started earlier up here than she had grown accustomed to. The moonlight cast a romantic glow to the golden sand and the water sparkled as the slight waves rose and fell.  

"I can never decide if it looks better under the sun or the moon", she told Jaime, pointing as the water lapped at the land.

"Do you have to choose?"

"Always."

Brienne knew there could never be one without the other and that led her back to that little dark place in her head again, the high of the wedding slowly leaving the air.  _Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon_. 

"House or beach?" he asked with a smile as they stopped in the reeds, grasses grazing her calves.

"House."

                                                                                      ***********

Jeyne smiled as she saw Jaime half drag Brienne away. Young love had a hard time being tamed.

                                                                                      ***********

"You know I really hate parties", Brienne made the sweeping statement as she shooed out a kissing couple from the front room and a drunk man from the kitchen. "There's always a girl crying in the bathroom, something important will get smashed and you'll end up with a stranger spending the night on your sofa."

"Tyrion generally hides the valuables first."

"I'll take that under advisement", she opened the door to her room to find one of the younger bridesmaids half asleep on the floor, "See what I mean."

"Do you think that maybe one day you'll be able to treat your new family a little better?" Jaime sounded harsher to her ears than he needed to be as they woke up the girl and escorted her to a more suitable resting place.

"Like you do with yours you mean", Brienne pulled away, fatigue and the emotion of the day messing with her words.

"It's not the same", Jaime was clearly on the defensive now.

"I think it is."

"My family is complicated. There's stuff you don't know."

"Then tell me. I know your father is clearly pulling your strings right now, and there's enough damage between you and Cersei to keep a psychiatrist in business for years to come", the frustration was bubbling over now, "What else do I need to know?"

"There was almost a baby", Jaime's voice was so small that she had to struggle to hear him.

"A baby?" Brienne repeated, hoping that she had heard him wrong.

He nodded and she felt her stomach swirl, her dinner threatening to leave. "I think you better sit down."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I've got almost angsty again, how the tone shifted that quickly I don't know. (Sorry)
> 
> If you've got a minute to spare, please do leave some feedback. Thanks :)


	20. Chapter Twenty: I've been feeling everything from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth (I guess that's how I know you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime digs into his past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and commenting, really huge huge thanks. I've been having some internet issues the past day or so which is why I haven't replied to anyone as yet. 
> 
> I've read this chapter so many times now that I can't see my mistakes anymore so if there are any, apologies and I hope it doesn't spoil the story.
> 
> A little angsty in places and a lot more Jaime/Cersei then in earlier chapters but it does serve a purpose. It's not my ship so I hope it reads ok. (And I'll never know if you just wanna skip over the heavy J/C bit in the middle :)) It's also another chapter that ran and ran, though it may not quite be as long as the last few.
> 
> There's a few lines from AFFC in here and a Jaime quote from one of the early season 1 episodes.
> 
> Title is a lyric in Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran

Jaime watched as Brienne felt for the wall behind her and slid to the ground in one easy movement, crossing her long legs as she settled on the lightly patterned carpet. The silk of her jumpsuit rippled across her thighs at the strain of the position and she subconsciously pulled his dark blue jacket closer to her body as if it would somehow help her hide from his gaze. _It was a good colour on her_ , Jaime thought almost lustfully, but even that couldn't take his mind away from the strange look in her eyes as she glanced up. It wasn't like anything he had ever seen from her before, equal parts hurt, anxiety and determination. It was as if she wanted to hear this nearly as much as she didn't want to know, her brain battling itself with the conflicting emotions that were waging war across her face. Jaime felt a pang in his heart at her vulnerability, knowing that he was fuelling it once again.

To be honest had it not been for her anxiousness and the deep midnight blue of her eyes she would have reminded him of another determined blonde, his sweet sister, and even that half formed thought was enough to send shivers deep into his bones. 

Brienne still hadn't uttered a word of defiance he noted, though her whole demeanour seemed to scream at him, 'I'm sitting, so now what?'

"We were eighteen", Jaime began, as if that would make it better, more acceptable somehow than if they had been fifteen year old kids messing around. He went to sit down beside her, wanting to judge Brienne's reactions at close proximity in the rapidly diminishing light, settling near enough for her to hear but not nearly close enough to touch. He listened carefully as she took a sharp intake of breath, but it wasn't followed up with a shuffling movement further along the wall which would have been her first response not too long ago, to put as much distance between him and her. Jaime took her staying put as a good sign, making sure to take a second to gather his thoughts before moving on and suddenly felt her eyes on him.

"Okay", the two syllable word dragged in the near silence between them, the only audible sounds being of the party wrapping up in the distance. 

"It was the summer between high school and college so we had a lot of time to be ... affectionate", Jaime fell back on euphemisms, protecting her tender heart as best he could.

Brienne snorted loudly, as far from tender and ladylike as was possible, and he met her gaze fiercely, "Is this funny to you now?"

"I'm not a little girl Jaime, you can use grown up words. I'm not going to swoon and shatter if you do."

He considered this before continuing, "We fucked", he glanced across at Brienne and she tipped her head ever so slightly, indicating he should go on. "A lot."

                                                                                       **********  
                                                                                       **********

Cersei had been out of sorts for a while, hiding herself behind both emotional and physical walls. It had been eight days since the tyrant in training had graced her siblings with her presence at any meal and when she did show her face, mainly to run laps around the estate grounds, she was so unlike her normal personality that the house staff had stopped walking on eggshells for the first time since the little blonde girl had moved in with her mother almost a decade and a half earlier.

Tywin had been away at some conference in Malaysia for weeks, preferring to raise his children the best and only way he knew how; at a distance. He was away discussing academic links and a possible new overseas campus for Kings. And though it was all very vague when he had described it in words no more than three syllables long to Jaime, it seemed it came down to one thing; more money to fill the already overflowing college accounts. Jaime figured that if spending months at a time in a tropical location was considered work then he had probably found his dream vocation.

"Did you finally screw her into submission?" Tyrion laughed jovially as he joined Jaime for breakfast that morning. He cocked his head to one side, considering his choice of words as his brother picked up the nearest item to hand, a china egg cup, and threw it straight at him. Tyrion caught it with a flourish, "No our sister doesn't submit does she? Is silence a better adjective?"

Tyrion was too smart for his own good sometimes, he was the first to figure out why his brother and sister were spending so much time together alone behind closed doors, and he'd been barely eleven. _If the house staff knew_ , Jaime thought, _then they must have all been CIA trained operatives as no one ever even inferred the most recent Lannister family secret_.

"Hey! Get your own!" Jaime reached for his little brother as he spun around to place the egg cup back where it had come from, stealing bacon off the only plate on the table in the process. But the younger boy knew all of Jaime's moves by then and easily avoided the grabbing hands, settling into his normal seat. 

Jaime sighed as Tyrion smiled, raising a bacon salute as the kitchen staff jostled around them. 

"So I'm guessing she's still up there",  the taller blond cast his eyes to the ceiling.

"Door locked, whiny angry girl music blaring despite it being", Tyrion checked his watch, "Eight am? You know I should still be asleep, it's a July right that no teenager should get up before noon. Brother, what exactly did you do?"

Jaime tried not to look too surprised by that comment and probably failed miserably. "Damned if I know."

                                                                                     **********  
                                                                                     **********

"I thought we were just fighting. It happens between..." Jaime ran his hand through his hair, not knowing whether his next word should be siblings or lovers as both were accurate. Not knowing which would hurt less to the girl an arms length away from him.

"You and Cersei", Brienne filled in, saving him the embarrassment of making a choice. He chanced a small smile at her and though it was darker than before, her eyes inky pits darting around the room, he thought she may have returned it momentarily.

"Me and her", Jaime agreed, "But our fights were short, fiery and passionate. They never lasted long and moping hadn't been in our vocabulary before."

"You obviously didn't spend a lot of time around normal teenage girls", he noticed that Brienne had pulled her knees protectively to her chest, resting her chin and staring resolutely straight ahead.

"I wasn't interested in other girls. Only her."

 _Until you_ , he wanted to add but Brienne was paying more attention to the wallpaper and the swirling grey and cream pattern on the carpet than she was to him. Maybe that particular sentiment was best saved until later.

"And she was only interested in you", and although Jaime wouldn't have blamed her for it, there was no bitterness, no envy in Brienne's tone, "It must have been ... sheltered."

That wasn't the word he'd been expecting to fall from her lips, it was too gentle and far too close to something Tyrion had told him just before Cersei had gone back to being an uncomfortable almost sibling. 

_'You're so sheltered Jaime, she's been fucking Lancel and Professor Kettleblack and probably half the bloody campus for all I know.'_

He shook his head, as if that could rid him of the memory of his brother's mocking laughter, that particular titbit being another story for another time. So instead Jaime just replied, "For a long time it was only me and her."

                                                                                    **********  
                                                                                   **********

 _This was all Tyrion's fault_ , Jaime thought as he stood outside Cersei's locked bedroom door and knocked firmly. His brother had set a seed of doubt in his mind and Jaime couldn't shake the whispering ominous feeling that Cersei wasn't just choosing to stay out of the way because she had stomach flu or something as equally weakening. She didn't like to show any kind of weakness in public, and with a staff of twenty even her home wasn't exactly private.

As Jaime stood in an unfamiliar position of staring at the barred barrier in front of him, knowing it had only been locked to keep him out, it struck him that he had never seen his step-sister cry. Not the way her friends would anyway. The Merryweather girl, who'd been stuck to Cersei's side all through school, could cry at a drop of a hat but the blonde would stay cool, calm and composed no matter the situation. When she'd been six years old and broke her arm falling off a pony, she had simply gotten up and told the nearest person that she'd felt something snap inside. Even at Joanna's funeral, which basically turned her into an orphan, she never shed a single tear in front of her brother.

Jaime knocked again, leaning up against the doorframe, almost positive that she had turned her music up as he knocked just to make ignoring him easier. He was just about to leave her to her debilitating self pity when the door flew open and Jaime nearly fell into the room, startled by the change in angle. 

"What?!" Cersei snapped as he tried to right himself, knocking into her accidentally. "What the hell do you want Jaime?"

Her hands were planted at her hips, anger and frustration coming off her in waves. The blonde girl was dressed as if she had just got back from a track meet or a half marathon, crimson tracksuit lined with gold piping, a tight braid falling over one shoulder to her waist. It didn't do anything to reduce her power in the situation.

Jaime thought about her question, and although clearly rhetorical he couldn't help but answer. "You", he felt a smirk tug at his mouth.

She didn't return it or soften at all, "Haven't you already done enough damage for one lifetime?"

"Damage?" Jaime echoed, casting a sharp eye at his step sister and her surroundings. Her eyes and nose were rimmed in pretty rose pink circles, her face uncharacteristically puffy as if she had come into contact with something she was highly allergic to. Behind her the room was littered with a thousand crumbled white tissue balls.

"You've been holed up in here for days. What the hell is going on?" he was softening even if she wouldn't.

She couldn't even look him in the eye anymore, turning away from him so quickly that her braid cracked against her side like a whip. Cersei didn't generally accept shame as an emotion, though she also wouldn't normally hide from a problem so as she tried to kick the used tissues out of eyesight, Jaime knew something was seriously wrong.

"Remember when we spoke about running away. Would you still do that?"

Jaime nodded immediately, stepping into the middle of her room, "Where do you want to go?"

"Not yet."

"Just say the word", he reached out for her but she gracefully slid out of reach, spinning to face him again. 

"I'm three weeks late", she hissed, "I took a test eight days ago."

Jaime's eyes widened in recognition as she finally moved closer to him, hands tightly balled into fists as she hit his chest again and again, "Help me", she pleaded, "I need you to help me now. I need you like I've never needed you before."

"I'll do whatever you want me to. Tell me who'll be able to keep me away."

"Father", the word was a slap, almost an expletive in their shared, intimate space.

"He's not here", Jaime reminded, trying to work through the rapidly descending shock and coming up blank, "And if he does I'll kill him, I'll kill anyone who stands in the way until you and I are the only people left in the world."

"Presently. He's not here presently. And I doubt you'd actually be able to kill anyone", Cersei was almost back to her normal level of spite and was nothing if not practical. She turned up her face to meet his gaze, green eyes full of pride and unfamiliar fear, "Jaime, do you really think we can raise a baby?"

"We can do anything,"

She stood on her toes, initiating a kiss for the first time in a long time, "I love you, I love you, I love you." Her words became lost in his chest as she buried her head.

                                                                              **********  
                                                                              **********

"How long before...?" Brienne asked quietly, cutting into Jaime's tale before it went anywhere even more uncomfortable. Her head still resting on her knees, she glanced almost coyly up at him, though Jaime wouldn't have caught that in the dark, before fixing her gaze back onto a dirty spot on the carpet, "I'm assuming there was some kind of accident since you said almost."

It almost hurt to ask, even if it was Cersei's pain she was feeling.

"Six weeks."

Brienne took another deep breath, being with Jaime was like being Dorothy in Oz, the curtain in front of the Wizard kept slipping little by little until only the truth remained visible.  _There's no place like home_ , she thought, though the idea was not without a trace of irony, her home had never before had to endure the secrets and lies his did.

A hundred things ran through her head, words she could say, emotions that would make sense right now, but it all kept coming back to the look on her dad's face when the neonatal nurses took tiny pink bundles away from his arms all those years ago. "I'm so sorry", she mumbled at Jaime.

"You're sorry?" he questioned as if he didn't understand the meaning of her words, and she picked her head up to look at him properly for the first time since he began talking. Not that it made much of a difference, the entire house was pitch black by that point and neither of them had bothered to turn on a light. It was if they'd been trying to hide their faces from each other should they give away any unwanted emotion.

She shrugged, careful to make the movement as small as possible in case he managed to read it wrong. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to say when someone looses a child?"

"I don't care about what you're supposed to say. What do you want to say?"

"I'm so sorry."

Jaime barked out a laugh in surprise, and though he didn't mean it to, the sound cut her deeper than his entire story. "Just when I think I know how you're going to react."

She turned away again, working out her next everything, her voice eventually coming out tiny but strong, "Thank you for telling me."

"Do you not want to hear the rest?"

Brienne wasn't sure she did, "Sex and death and misery?"

"Close enough."

"I don't need to hear it then", she pushed herself off the floor too quickly and felt the world swim around her eyes for a second or two. She kept her hands on the wall until the vertigo passed and waited for Jaime to stand.

"Cersei named him", Jaime told her from the floor, ignoring Brienne's request to stop. It was if now he started, he couldn't stop until the whole thing was out in the open. "It. I mean the baby", he clarified, uncharacteristically tongue tied. "He's under an apple tree in the orchard at Casterly House, although the damn thing never grows. It just infects everything around it", he paused, almost deflated from telling this particular truth, "I guess with Tywin gone that summer we'd been allowed as much free rein as we wanted, I don't think he expected for us to hang ourselves with it."

"Was any of it deliberately done?" Brienne didn't think that was what she meant to ask but she kept hearing the word _'epic'_ in Cersei's entitled tone, and the question almost blurted itself out.

"No", Jaime sounded surprised that she would even be asking that, "Why would you even think...?"

"You wanted to run away with her", it was a statement with little emotion, Brienne was trying desperately not to close up too much but she was finding it more inevitable than she liked, "Did you want a family with her too?"

"We were eighteen. We didn't know what we wanted."

"And that's it? There's no more fencing skeletons or tiny blond toddlers out there that I should know about?"

"That's it." Jaime still hadn't moved from the floor, though he had stretched his legs out across to almost reach half way to the opposite wall of the narrow room.

"So you're dad's a bit of a control freak, you slept with your step sister and almost became a teenage dad because of it. You took out one of the best fencers our college has ever seen because he was a mad men and you're failing far more than you should be", Brienne ticked her statements off on her fingers, finding the act brought her back to where she should be emotionally.

"Harsh but fair", Jaime agreed, "I wouldn't have been that blunt."

"About what?"

"I'm failing exactly as much as I should be."

"Fine", Brienne easily found the light switch on the wall, filing the small room with unnatural light which made them both blink rapidly, "I'm going to bed then." She took two steps before she turned around, determined not to sound needy,  "Are you coming?"

"You're not mad", Jaime was shielding his eyes having spent far too long sitting in the dark, "Why aren't you mad?"

She took a breath and let all her words come out in one long run, "It would be a waste of energy to get worked up over every reckless thing you did as a teenager. I imagine there there was more than one instance where I would have wanted to slap you."

"You're amazing. Truly amazing", Jaime was grinning, though Brienne didn't miss the hurt still twinkling in his eyes.

"I can't say I'm not irritated or disappointed but it happened nearly five years ago. If it was five months ago I'd be furious and you'd be on the next boat back to the mainland. As it stands all I can think is thank god you told me before Cersei could throw it in my face."

Jaime was silent.

"So are you coming?"

               *                                                                     *********

Brienne woke to a loud knocking at the back door. Opening her eyes briefly she realised who it would be and closed them again before she could properly wake up. Her dad and Jeyne had left earlier that morning for their flight to Hawaii and knowing her dad's lack of memory for normal everyday things like socks and toothpaste he had probably left something behind. Brienne could still remember him leaving his passport in a Sydney hotel as in his line of work he generally didn't need such things to fly.

Jaime was beside her, he hadn't really taken much persuasion to get him back into her bed, but at some point during the night he had rolled away. She realised that it was a little unusual now to not feel his physical presence when she woke, as he generally liked to remain within touching distance as they slept.

The banging was increasing in volume and Brienne realised there was no way she was going to get back to sleep without dealing with her dad's memory loss. Judging by the banging he had left his keys in the house somewhere and in two weeks time when they got back Jaime and her would both be at Kings.

"Two minutes", she grumbled, as she stretched and thought about moving some time soon. Jaime's arm was around her instantaneously as she sent ripples across the bed, his hold not giving her any motivation at all to go and open the door.

"Are we being raided?" Jaime murmured into her neck, stubble catching against her skin.

"Dad forgot something. You can go back to sleep."

He was growling and murmuring into her skin, still only half conscious, but as he pulled her tight against him she could feel him hard at her back.

"After what you told me last night I think we need to think about all of this."

Jaime smiled into her skin, and edged up to purr in her ear, fully conscious now and flirty with it "I think I could always just use my tongue instead."

She scrambled out of his embrace as the next knock almost shook the house, "Hold that thought."

 

The back door to the house was only really used by the family, it opened out on to the beach so wasn't really that accessible to the normal people of the island. That wasn't to say they didn't use it for deliveries and the like, it was just a little more difficult to get to. It was also only about ten feet away from Brienne's bedroom so it would have been best choice by anyone trying to get her attention this early in the morning.

She opened the back door with a yawn, "What did you forget?"

"Well it looks like you forgot your pants."

Hunt.

_Crap._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading again. Really it means the world to me that people are enjoying my fluffy ramblings. As usual any feedback, good or bad, is gratefully received :)


	21. Chapter Twenty One: I know I've got issues but you're pretty messed up too (And honestly, my life would suck without you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunt tries to interfere again, but Jaime finds a way to make up his past and present choices to Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those chapters which I'm having major doubts about, I'm not sure its actually any good or written very well. However if I keep writing around 5,000 words over nothing at all I might end up reaching chapter 30 before the end. (By which time I wouldn't blame anybody for getting totally bored of this story :))
> 
> Is this properly fluffy? I don't think I can tell anymore. Hopefully it ends up being lighter and sexier than the angsty stuff I seem to be drawn to.
> 
> The only quote in here is from Jane Eyre, the enough of love idea seemed very Hunt to me.
> 
> Also the end of this is probably the smuttiest thing I've written but it wouldn't leave me alone until I least tried to give it a go (I blame beta-ing a smutty fic for giving me the inspiration, so thanks go to maidennotsofair)
> 
> Title from My Life Would Suck Without You from Kelly Clarkson.

Brienne instantly yanked down her t-shirt as best she could at Hunt's amused words, indignant heat already rising to her face. She hadn't even considered that anyone but family would be standing on the other side of the door. And the thought that Hunt would place himself in that niche was far too much for her to handle right now. 

Inwardly cursing the fact that she was getting so comfortable around Jaime that she often forgot she had miles of bare skin on show, she bent slightly at the waist in order to stretch her arm down low enough to scrunch the thinning material in her fist at what seemed an appropriate length, the act itself making her feel far more vulnerable and exposed than it should have. However, despite her unease at the turn of events, she kept her hand steady just above her knees holding the shirt firmly in place, hiding her naked thighs from Hunt's wandering gaze.

Brienne thought that the lieutenant, who had arrived wearing normal civilian clothes for once, was going out of his way to make her feel even more uncomfortable as he ran a slow, almost appreciative, glance over her underdressed broad frame. She narrowed her eyes at him in response, and his responding smile all but split his face in two. It wasn't even as if her shirt was inappropriately short, especially by other peoples standards, her friends would have been happy to let that much skin see the outside world but she wouldn't have answered the door had that been the case. Though talking to her dad, her family, in what could be seen as a washed out mini t-shirt dress and talking to Hunt in the same garment were two completely different things. The worst part being that he clearly knew he'd fooled her by using the back door.

"And you're here because...?" Brienne questioned as Hunt grinned, the proverbial cat who had eventually got a drop of cream, and she knew he was throughly enjoying this encounter even if she would have liked for the ground to just open and swallow one of them up preferably, no definitely, him.

"I asked you a question", she repeated firmly. Brienne couldn't decide if it was frustration, tiredness or pure irritation fuelling her short fuse, but she knew she had a warm bed and a very willing man waiting for her not ten feet away and honestly would have preferred to spend her morning in the former whilst contemplating the latter, rather than have to deal with Hunt's platitudes. 

Despite everything running through her head, she did at least manage to stand her ground as the smaller man started suddenly forward, as if he meant to push past her and enter the house without permission. Brienne was beginning to feel like she was regressing to an earlier time, limbs far too long and ungainly to both control and cover up, as Hunt continued to make little indication that he was planning on leaving. He just kept looking and though to an outsider it would seem innocent, to her it brought back the hint of a memory of awful things she had tried to forget many times over. Her body twisted in some ugly imitation of coyness, one hand across her chest tucked under the arm keeping her modesty in check, but she would have liked nothing more than to slam the solid wooden door straight in Hunt's face. 

"Oh I'm not here for you", he laughed, taking half an eternity to answer.  "Although I can't say it hasn't been lovely to see you without your armour or ridiculous blond shadow. Am I right in assuming he's currently indisposed as I can't say he would have let you come to greet me dressed so invitingly."

Brienne prickled at his casual misogyny, tightening her fist in the material as if readying herself for a future hit.   
   
"But as you should already know, I work for Selwyn", Hunt continued, taking another slow brazen glance before meeting her eyes, "And he left me some paperwork to complete in the office."

"And like a good little soldier you just had to come along at the crack of dawn to do it", Jaime's voice drawled out loudly from behind them. Brienne could see out of the corner of her eye that he hadn't really bothered to move from his current position, sprawled across her bed clearly waiting for her return, only sliding open the door in order to be able to eavesdrop on the conversation she was having with Hunt. The fact that he was also giving her an amazing view of all the muscles across his arms and shoulders hadn't seemed to have crossed his mind.

"It's oh-eight-thirty", Hunt replied at the same volume, his eyes now tracing across the pinking of Brienne's cheeks as her mind had gone to more interesting places and the slight discolouration of the material at her neck where Jaime had ran his mouth along earlier. 

"On a Saturday", Jaime's retort was almost lazy, as if he was only playing this particular game until he found something better to do.

"It's still oh-eight-thirty", Hunt paused and Brienne felt something change in the air, "I'm sorry if I interrupted anything important."

He didn't sound anywhere even if the neighbourhood of sorry Brienne realised, and in that instant something snapped and she decided to cut her losses to get the ridiculous excuse for a soldier off her front step, if only to give her the privacy to re-discover Jaime's dirty mouth and wicked, wanting tongue. 

Letting go of her top, which sprung back up to around mid-thigh length, she used both of her hands to push Hunt out of the doorway and down into the grass outside. He looked almost pleased by her eventual assertive move.

"Please wait here", she told him, aiming her own tone to relay that it was in no way a request, "I'll get your paperwork and you can take it home with you if you're so eager to work on a Saturday. During the time I'm here, you don't work in this house."

"Selwyn..."

"I can assure you that my father wouldn't want me to feel anything less than content in my own home. If you have any problems please ask him to speak to me."

"And I'll be happy to help clear up any misunderstanding." 

Hunt looked over her shoulder with a rapidly diminishing smirk and she realised that Jaime must have gotten up to investigate after the conversation was literally taken outside. 

She didn't mean to stare as she turned but it was hard not to as Jaime leaned against the door absentmindedly, as if he simply had never belonged anywhere as much as he did in that second. How he managed to dress and pick up a mug of coffee in the ninety seconds it had taken her to push Hunt outside, Brienne had no clue. It usually took about twenty minutes of kissing and coaxing to get him to even consider moving in the mornings. Not that she was really that much better at the minute, his whole being making her yearn to stay close to his warmth. 

"If you had stayed here", Hunt whispered to her but never once taking his eyes off Jaime, "I could have been better than that. We would have been something", he paused and Brienne longed to fill in the gap. _Wrong_ , she thought, _perverse, cold, unloving_. The words flew to her throat but Hunt continued before she had a chance to speak.

"Different", he finished, "I may not be as tall and sparkly as the blond but at least all my parts work."

She thought of the life she had turned down, the promise of a small existence where she would have been defined by the name she carried and the man on her arm. Brienne was certain she wouldn't find a time where she wished she had made another choice. 

"You don't get it do you? I love Jaime."

Hunt scoffed, "Love doesn't last forever, and thats an awfully long time to be miserable."

"Only Jaime", she clarified, "And what's wrong with forever?" the words hit even Brienne by surprise, her mouth two crazy steps ahead of her brain.

"Forever? It's a silly romantic notion dreamt up by little girls."

 _Like Sansa Stark_ , Brienne thought, _and her friend was full of more fire than she let on._ "I know", she was quieter too now, not even realising that the idea had been rattling around in her head before that moment, "Maybe that's what I like about it."

Hunt considered this, head to the side looking up at her as if she had just said she wanted to run away and join the circus. He didn't have a quick reply so Brienne took a breath and at a normal audible level informed him of her intentions, "If you wait here I will be back with your work shortly."

She turned on her heel, giving her shirt another quick tug to better cover her butt as she walked towards Jaime's slow welcoming smile. 

Brienne found as she got closer to the house that Jaime hadn't actually had time to dress properly, the buttons on his shirt from his collar bone to half way down his chest were clumsily mismatched and he had yet again forgotten to put his right hand up in the sling. It would be somewhere on the floor of her room, despite numerous requests from his doctor and physiotherapists he was refusing to wear it more than was absolutely necessary. Every now and again Brienne thought that the damage would never heal and she'd be left to deal with a miserable one-handed Jaime. So when he reached out for her with his right arm it was an unfamiliar sensation to feel it settle along her waist, his left hand putting the mug down to stroke her face and pull her closer. 

"We can't catch a break", he murmured  before meeting her lips briefly. Brienne closed her eyes to the featherlight touch, tasting coffee and the uniqueness that was Jaime. It was only a second but when she opened them again she managed to catch the end of the look Jaime had shot Hunt. 

"You still make disgusting coffee", she told him as he held her against his side comfortably, trying to ignore the animosity that seemed to bind the two men together.

"Hmmmmm", he murmured nonsense in response, trying to meet her lips again, bandaged hand lingering at her lower back. Brienne ducked her head in something burgeoning on embarrassment, avoiding his affection for now to use his current hold against him, pushing him back into the house and closing the door behind them with her foot.

As the door softly hit the frame, Jaime was kissing her again. The light touch turned into something far more languid as he encouraged her to move two steps back until she felt the door behind her. He moved his mouth along her cheek, up her jaw until he was at her ear, his words sending goosebumps shivering across her skin. 

"I'm still holding."

It was with a sigh equal parts desire and reluctance that she removed both of his arms from her body, making to move further into the house, appealing to his better judgement over her shoulder, "Don't do anything stupid."

"Oh I won't. But only if he doesn't do anything either."

She stopped, forcing herself not to roll her eyes at his childish attitude, and turned back around, determined to placate the situation before yet another punch was thrown. "The Tarth police department is only two men in a shed working part time. I'm not underplaying it by saying nothing happens here, so don't ruin their lives with reports."

It wasn't what she truly wanted to say but she'd told him she could take care of herself before and he hadn't listened. There was also the fact that it wasn't worth Jaime potentially hurting himself over Hunt, but he hadn't listened when she told him that either.

As if on cue, Hunt began to whistle in impatience, the very notes stinging in the air and revealing his not quite hidden interest in their hidden words and affectionate touches.

"For me, just this once", Brienne asked quietly and about as tender as she got. Jaime caught her hand in his, holding it tight for a minute before nodding solemnly. She smiled, bringing their joined hands to rest over her heart, mouthing words of appreciation so as not to the risk the other man in earshot hearing the private declaration.

And then she left them to their inevitable fight.

                                                                                           **********

Jaime watched as Brienne disappeared into the back of house, knowing he should have just locked the door and followed her through. He would have been happy to act as a distraction again, anything to prevent Hunt from getting what he wanted too easily. Really there was no reason why the soldier couldn't wait impatiently outside until Jaime had stopped holding his earlier thought. _It wasn't even that cold in the haphazard garden_ , he grinned, _they could be hours and they still wouldn't return to find a popsicle. Unfortunately_.

Jaime was more than halfway decided, with other parts of him already starting to voice their approval, when the Lieutenant interrupted the lustful daydream. 

"Surely a flashy model girlfriend to hang on your every word would suit you better."

Without Brienne's weight against it the front door had blown open as a sudden swell over the water had re-directed a slight breeze straight at the exposed cottage.

"Believe me Brienne's better", he responded, sticking as close to sensible as he knew how. Which meant it would take him thirty seconds to get riled up rather the usual three.

"You mean she's better than you deserve", Hunt spoke truthfully for once, amusement shining across his face, "Or do you mean she's better in bed than anyone expected?"

Jaime took a couple of warning steps closer, knowing that he could look menacing even in checked pyjama pants and his black shirt, "Which means she's also better than you", he growled, ignoring the second part of the question for now, "So what exactly do you want from her?"

Hunt shrugged, nonchalant, "You wouldn't understand."

"What is there to understand? From where I'm standing you're not exactly redeemable."

"And why would your opinion actually matter?"

Jaime took a deep breath, placing Brienne's worst disappointed face in his head before letting himself meet the challenge, pacing like a caged animal. "Apart from anything else there's the fact that you tried to barter off her virginity. I'm curious to how you thought that would endear her to you and you alone."

"We all do stupid things when we're growing up. She would come around to my way of thinking eventually and enough of love would follow."

Jaime took another step forward, the semblance of composure slipping, finding he was more than ready now to smack the idea of love being a consequence of an arrangement out of Hunt. Unfortunately Brienne re-appeared at that point, blue sweatpants around her formerly bare legs and a pile of files in her arms, casting Jaime a look that almost made him back down as she passed.

Almost.

                                                                                  ***********

"I hope that keeps you occupied for the time being", Brienne told Hunt as she deposited the brown and blue files into his arms, drawing his attention to the sternly written post it note on the front of the pile. "Enjoy your vacation."

"Well I'm almost positive it'll not be as much fun as what you're planning for your vacation, but I'll survive." The younger man nodded in Jaime's general direction before taking the opportunity to use Brienne's closeness to press against her, all but dropping the files in her surprise.

"How many times?" she yelled, giving up her physical advantage to reach behind her to prevent Jaime from hitting Hunt into next week. 

"Always once more", Hunt bowed, a sarcastic gesture, asking for more trouble. 

Behind her she could hear Jaime growl in response, his words so low in the back of his throat she couldn't catch the message. The meaning however was as clear as the sun in the sky. She remembered that Hunt had mentioned playing a jealously card but she hadn't caught up to that until just then. The men were placing her in the middle of their mock war, as if she was a swooning damsel in distress, a prize to be won or lost, and she hated the assumption. But rather than knock them both out, she re-arranged her hands behind her, taking a tight hold of Jaime's shirt before speaking, "Hyle Hunt I humbly ask you to leave this property before I get you fired."

"You can't do that. Only the General can do that", Hunt actually sounded flustered and Brienne knew she'd won.

"General Waters?" she questioned and Hunt nodded, though there was the beginning of something close to fear in his eyes, "We go way back. And I'm sure sexual harassment is a much bigger deal for army officers then it used to be."

She relaxed her grip on Jaime as Hunt made to leave, but even her quick reflexes couldn't stop him from reacting as Hunt decided at that last possible moment that he'd risk the General's wrath for one last dig. 

"Till we meet again darling", he blew her a kiss in an imitation of lust and devotion, resulting in Jaime moving out from behind her, across the grass and swinging at the smaller man in less time than it would have taken for Brienne to tell them to stop.

"You do realise I don't find any of this machismo attractive?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest, as the two men circled each other like wild animals, trading and dodging blows. "I'm not going to change my mind because one of you pummels the other in a fit of...whatever this is." Jaime looked across and met her eyes, staring at her annoyance for a second too long, the act accidentally giving Hunt an advantage so that he could hit the other man so hard that Jaime stumbled and fell. 

Brienne hadn't actually planned to get involved but this had all gone past a point where she could reasonably leave it alone.

"Hey!" she shouted as she jogged the few steps to where the impromptu boxing ring had been formed, "This isn't Fight Club."

Hunt reached for her hand as if declaring himself the victor and Brienne closed her eyes, remembering every single lie he had told her over the years and asking silently for forgiveness as she aimed her very best tap to his face, her knee firmly to his groin. "Don't ask again."

"My hero", Jaime snarked at her from the ground, his fingers carefully running along his nose, cheek and temple, surveying the damage. They came away clean though she caught him wincing at the touch.

"You're still an idiot", but she offered him her hands anyway and pulled him up into her, Hunt lying still beside them, motionless but groaning in pain.

"I love you too."

                                                                                          ***********

"Remind me to tell my dad never to give that turd a key."

Jaime slammed the door shut making sure it was firmly locked before turning back to her. Brienne sighed as she took in the painful stinging patches across his face. At least he'd managed to add a few more bruises to the cocky soldier's face before he had taken the knockdown blow.

"Turd? Are we eight now?" Jaime sent her a questioning glance, cocking an eyebrow, which he hadn't expected to hurt as much as it did, and she couldn't help but laugh in response, some of the tension appearing to leave her body.

"I'm not wasting my time coming up with another word."

"I'm sure I can come up with something.  Give me a minute or two to think." He actually did spend a second contemplating it before she put a end to the conversation thread by stepping closer to him, almost into his arms.

"Don't think about him", her voice nearly sounded seductive, though he guessed that wasn't her intention as she ran her callused fingertips over his face, taking in each lump and bruise.

"Maybe there's other things we should be thinking about", he was definitely aiming for something sensual and didn't miss Brienne's momentary pupil reaction.

"You're not supposed to lie down if you have a concussion", she was smart, practical and looking out for his best interest once again.

"As I remember from my last one I'm pretty sure you're just not meant to go  to sleep."

"If you lie down you'll sleep."

"Not if you're with me. Though can you put the sweatpants back where you found them first?"

She swatted at him, as he expected she would, but didn't deny his request.

                                                                                 ************

It was nice, more than nice, to just lie facing each other, Jaime's good hand on her hip, hers on his shoulder and at the back of his neck, and just kiss like the world had slowed to a crawl around them and there was as much time as they desired to do nothing but this. And on Tarth that was almost true, there was no rush to attend classes or work out fixtures or even to move from bed if they didn't want to. It was as sweet and warm as a lazy summer evening, legs entangled and each breath shared. No longer as clumsy, Brienne met each one of his kisses with a keen steady mouth, eager to learn and share this new heady experience. But however tender the embrace, it didn't stop the flesh memory in her muscles, already readying themselves for what always came next. A mouth, a hand, a cock and ecstasy.

Jaime had run his hand up to her waist, careful not to pull her shirt up with it, and was rubbing infuriating circles with his thumb over the bottom of her rib cage. She gripped into his hair in response and their lips almost took a turn towards desperate before she could steady them again. Her fingers became a soothing touch at his neck as if she could tap away his blossoming desire for her skin on his.

"We're not very good at this", Brienne stated breathlessly as Jaime began to work his mouth down her neck, each of his fingers now circling and tracing patterns through the material of her shirt. 

"On the contrary, we are incredibly good at this", Jaime's lips settled over her pulse point and she felt it throb as he took it into his mouth, her heart speeding up. "If we weren't, both of us wouldn't be thinking about what comes next."

"What comes next?" she asked. Although she could feel the frisson of want languidly now making it's way to her stomach and between her legs, she couldn't prevent her voice from wobbling and the note of unease was as much from anxiety as it was from desire, as if they hadn't danced the proposed dance a dozen times already.

"Whatever you want", green eyes met hers and she drowned momentarily. "Anything."

"We could stay here", it wasn't really an answer to any possible next steps but sometimes being with him felt perfect. He moved his hand up and she found she had to bite down at her lip to prevent a happy little sigh escaping as he found his target, perfect if only for six or seven seconds at a time before he did something like that.

"You're worried", he removed his hand, pulling his mouth off her skin and leaned over her on his elbows.

"No", he didn't take his eyes off her face and she changed her mind, "Yes. I mean, a little."

"You said you weren't mad."

"I'm not. Though I didn't say I wasn't freaked out. My... she died Jaime, the babies... they all died."

He kissed her temple, sitting up as she did, "I'm stopping now", he pulled away and she wanted him back almost instantly, "So what exciting adventures does Tarth have in store for us today then?"

"You may be disappointed."

"I'm sure there's some tiny tea shop we can make out in and shock the locals. We could go swimming in the bay. I may even get by own back on Lt Cun..."

"Jaime!"

"It was crying out to be said. It even rhymes", he fell back on her bed with a grin.

"Leave it alone", she warned, "Not in here."

"You're far too tense you know", he joked, changing the mood in the room. "You need to relax", he paused and smirked up at her again, "You know there are other ways to get to the same point if you don't want to go without the sex. I believe I mentioned something about my tongue."

"Jaime, please don't feel obliged to do something just because it was mentioned in passing."

He regarded her through his eyelashes, the look in his eyes sending shivers down her spine way before he could even touch her. "Believe me, I don't do anything I don't already want to do." Jaime rose to kiss her and she threaded her hand through his, expecting for him to ask her to lie back as she had done the first time.

"No", he told her as she started to bend back and he scrambled over her and off the bed. Jaime fell to his knees, submissive, pressing his nose to her as her knees parted and simply inhaled. He didn't ask anything, didn't beg, just took a breath and pressed the hard plane of his nose to her softness. 

"Do you honestly think this bothers me?" he moved his mouth gently and the sound she made wasn't quite a moan but it was more than a sigh. Brienne bit down at the meat of her cheek in order to prevent any further noise escaping, just in case anyone was in the position to overhear them and it pulled a groan out of Jaime in the process. 

He looked up at her, wanton, dark green eyes almost black from her viewpoint, his mouth beginning to glisten, "Am I boring you?"

She shook her head, words failing her. 

"Then stop acting like it. The whole of bloody Tarth could hear and I still wouldn't care."

She felt him remove her underwear, as she rested her weight back on one hand, the other in his hair guiding him on though he seemed to know what he was doing. Her eyelids flickered shut as he settled his mouth around her, taping straight into the pleasure centres of her brain. He bit down hungrily and she was happy for the bed beneath her as her muscles twitched under his onslaught. It didn't take long for her to  fall over the edge, his lips kissing, sucking, all the while scratching stubble along her sensitive skin.

She peaked again as he curled his tongue into her, seeking out warmth, tasting her and groaning with his own growing desire.

"Do you want me to help you with anything?" Brienne asked quietly, catching her breath as Jaime pulled back, resting on his knees on her bedroom floor. He raised an eyebrow in question and she glanced down quickly before looking away.

"I can take care of it", he reassured her as she continued to look at the wall instead of him.

"And if I wanted too?" the boldness of her words were not doing anything to help move her gaze back to where it should have been.

"We've got all week right?" Jaime's hand was on her face, guiding her eyes back to his, "I've got plenty to teach if you really want to learn."

She nodded and he smiled, leonine, fierce and hungry. "Now I think you've got an island to show me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to all who read and/or comment. Time and Internet issues have prevented me from replying to comments on chapter 20 (work is really busy at the minute but I'm still writing in my spare time)
> 
> I think I'm finally getting a handle on writing the sex, almost anyway :)
> 
> All comments are appreciated.
> 
> Thanks again :)


	22. Chapter Twenty Two: If you left it up to me every day would be a holiday from real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Day on Tarth aka Brienne knows nothing much happens at home but Jaime is used to a faster pace of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fluffy and meandering I can't quite believe it, lots of conversations and a promise of more sexy times to come.
> 
> Title is from Holiday From Real by Jacks Mannequin.

"So do I get pancakes again this morning?" Jaime smiled almost innocently up at her from the floor, as if he hadn't had his mouth pressed between her legs only moments earlier. "I think I deserve them after a performance like that", he rocked on his ankles to stand up, licking his lips as he did, the illusion of innocence shattered in a second and Brienne realised as his tongue darted out over his lower lip that he was still tasting her like she was some gourmet dish he couldn't get enough of. The sensations that tiny act produced amplified the aftershocks still popping in some of her muscles and she honestly thought that she was heading for a third peak, just from him simply looking at her like that. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, this was going to be one long, albeit probably amazing, week.

"Sure", Brienne let out an uncharacteristic small peal of contented laughter as she fell back into her bed, stretching out all her limbs that Jaime's tongue had helped so wonderfully to loosen, "But only if you make them yourself. I'm more than likely to burn the kitchen down."

She pondered her next phrase playfully behind her now closed eyes, "Besides I don't think that was quite good enough to warrant the rare event of me cooking."

"Dear god wench", she opened one eye to see Jaime now standing between her legs, looking down at her with an eyebrow cocked and a mock fierce glare, "You have sex a few times and now you think you're an expert."

She closed her eye again and smiled ever so slowly, "As opposed to you, who knows he's an expert."

"Well I can make you scream, that's a start", he took a step closer and she felt his pyjamas rub against her thighs, "Take off your shirt."

Propping herself up on her elbows she regarded his contined aroused state, "You were the one that wanted to see the island."

"It can wait", he growled and Brienne  laughed again, giving him her hands and pulling him down to the bed, Jaime's responding smile a long way from innocent.

"Do you ever stop?" she asked before his arm fell across her chest, lips flush against hers.

"Why would I want to?" his fingers softly rubbed and pinched where they rested and she slid a hand down his back, wondering why she ever believed any serious word that came out of his mouth in the mornings.

"Shower", she told him, placing her other hand over his, stilling the movement, "Breakfast. Tour."

"I think I could actually give pancakes a go if you wanted", he breathed the words into her ear, making even breakfast food an appealing proposition, "What do I need?"

She pulled away, a small part of her knowing that they couldn't get used to an oxymoronic vicious circle of morning sex and banter because back in the real world there were classes to attend and friends to not alienate, "Wait, didn't you have four chefs growing up?"

"Six actually, but that doesn't mean I don't think a stack of pancakes is beyond my abilities."

"Maybe if I want my dad's house to still be standing at the end of the week we don't try anything too ambitious", she was completely out of body contact with him by then, almost half way across the room in a few long strides.

"In the kitchen?" she heard him question from behind her.

"In the kitchen", Brienne agreed as she headed to wash the growingly familiar combination of sex and sweat off her skin.

                                                                                          **********

"I think Jeyne trusts you less than you do yourself", Jaime told Brienne as she glided into the kitchen fully dressed but barefoot, hair still damp and slightly curling around her ears as it dried. "She left us a care package for the next seven days with very specific cooking instructions."

"So you didn't make these then?" she pointed at the steaming plates of food on the bench and Jaime swore he heard her stomach growl.

"I re-heated most of it", he clarified and Brienne gratefully snatched at the bacon stuffed English muffins, managing to fit almost half the entire thing into her mouth. She mumbled something around the food that sounded very much like she was falling in love all over again and Jaime didn't think there were many situations where she'd ever looked better, strange as that may be.

"Can we ask your dad to stay in Hawaii for a while longer?" he asked from behind her, hand reaching to stroke along the soft wool of her sweater as he took deep relaxing breaths of the odd ice cream like scent of her shampoo.

Brienne swallowed before she spoke, "So we can stay here and grow fat on Jeyne's amazing creations?"

"You and me against the world. Or at least the world according to Tarth."

"You do get used to it eventually", she told him, savouring the final bite of her meal with a tiny, almost sensual sigh. It made Jaime want to take her back to bed to finish what she herself had suggested.

"But it is a bit of a culture shock at first for outsiders", she agreed as he rested his head on her shoulder, wanting her as close as possible.

"Outsider?" he muttered, the words disappearing against her neck as it was one of those confessions he really didn't want her to hear just yet. It was only yet another future possibility, should they even get that far with all the baggage they seemed to drag along behind them.

"Anyway if we stay here much longer than we said, Sansa will think we eloped or something", Brienne's words were light, making fun of her overly romantic friend, but there were other turns of phrase she could have used that wouldn't have sent a thousand perfect ideas to Jaime's head and heart.

"She's not even here and she's got you thinking about eloping with me", Jaime quipped, keeping her tight in place, in case she should bristle and pull away from him and the ideas that weren't all truly hers.

She ignored his joking tone but not his hold, cuddling up against him before continuing, "Can you imagine? Sansa would actually kill anyone who denied her a wedding."

"She needs to get her heart broken a couple of times, that would sort her out."

"Hey", Brienne pulled away that time, turning to face him, "Cruel and uncalled for Lannister." The moniker was almost an after thought, a call back to an earlier time where she refused to speak his first name and her sparing use of it now was only ever meant to wound, though it rarely worked that well anymore when paired with the looks she would send him.

"Jaime", he corrected his voice low, suggestive, "I can make sure you don't forget it again if you continue to insist on not using it."

"One of these days...", she muttered but it was half hearted and held no malice.

He pulled her to him once more and she met him with no resistance left in her body, "You'll do what? What terrors does the valkyrie of Tarth have planned for me?"

He noted the determined spark in her eyes as she rested greasy fingers along his spine, "Wouldn't you like to know."

He raised an eyebrow in response as even after everything she still blushed uncontrollably at his body's reaction to her. He met her lips, giving way to battling tongues, tasting the meat and starch combination still lingering there.

"I think", she told him after he eventually pulled away leaving her lips ruby red and bee stung, "That you're becoming a bad influence on me."

"Becoming?" he scoffed proudly, "I think I already am."

Brienne pushed herself back, arms gripping firmly onto his shoulders in the process, "If we don't move sometime soon I have a feeling we're just going to spend the day in bed."

Jaime savoured his immediate grin that resulted from her not quite chaste suggestion, yet again surprising him with her mix of loving annoyance and wilfulness, "Don't promise anything you can't deliver."

"As you told me, later", she broke his grip gently, sending him a slow half smile that spoke to him more than anything she could have said.

"Shower. Breakfast. Tour", he laughed before leaving the kitchen.

                                                                                             *********

Tarth was roughly the shape of an elongated teardrop, and a place of colour and contradiction. For every fertile field like the one Brienne's house rested in, there was a stark craggy cliff where no living thing could survive. Sapphire blue waters gave way to white gold beaches along the southern and eastern sides, promising tropical temperatures the island could almost never deliver. There were two winding main streets, barely the width of two cars, dotted by a haphazard hand with farmhouses and the only shops people here would need. The mainland was forty minutes away on a calm sea and that was a long way to go for a pint of milk. 

Brienne explained all of this to Jaime, comfortably happy hand in hand as she led him through memories of her youth. The few happy ones were here, and it made sense to her that he would join them.

"Where are you taking me now?" Jaime grumbled as she took his arm, dragging him away from the island's tea room which he'd bolted for as soon as he smelt the coffee in the air.

"Shhh", was her only response as he fell into step with her again, "I have someone you need to meet."

"Another someone? Is this one more on your dad's scale of scary but safe or punchable like the lieutenant?"

"Neither. This one's special", her voice was softer than usual and Jaime must have recognised that as he stopped prodding for an answer.

The sun had risen to almost the height of it's brightness for an average April day when Brienne and Jaime emerged at the top of the slight grassy hill she had dragged him up, the rays casting a golden tone over everything. She glanced over at the man beside her, the beams of light hitting him like a caress making him look as if he'd been dipped in molten metal and left there as a gift to the gods. If she truly had been a valkyrie he would have been the hero, _anti-hero maybe would have suited him better_ she considered, her mythological alternative stepping in to save him from too many close brushes with death.

"You're thinking too much", he snarked, tapping her forehead with soft fingertips, "I can see the wheels turning."

"Sorry", she mumbled as Jaime's tapping turned into a soft touch running all the way to her jawline, tilting her head down to look at him.

"I can see why this place could be special but there's no one up here. What possessed you to take me away from perfectly good coffee?"

"Life after death", she responded cryptically, leading him through the rough purple and brown shrubbery that had taken over most of the higher ground where the wind couldn't rip it up by the roots in the winter. She whispered unspoken greetings as she saw the tiny headstone set back from the edge, the grey and blue veined marble sparkling in the light.

"This is Jaime", she spoke to the marble as she approached, tracing the carved letters with her free hand, resting carefully on the damp grass, "If you could know him, if you could see him, you'd know why I love him", she looked up and met Jaime's genuine smile with a teary eyed one of her own.

"Alys Tarth", Jaime whispered as he looked on, and Brienne thought he was deliberately not coming any closer so as not to disturb her strange happy sad feeling.

"Somedays I remember better than others", she explained, tracing the letters again, "But this is always here if I need to feel close."

"Mrs Tarth", Jaime bowed at the space in formal greeting taking a long pause before looking back to Brienne, "I trust this is the only maudlin experience you have planned today. It's much too nice a day to spend crying."

She wiped her eyes furiously with the back of her hand as she stood up, "It seemed important twenty minutes ago."

"It was. It is", Jaime agreed, "And I do appreciate the gesture, but can we do something more exciting now?"

"Exciting? You do realise this is Tarth, exciting only exists in dictionaries here."

"You put down your home a lot you know", he told her and she furrowed her brows together in reply as Jaime began to take off his boots.

"I'm allowed. It's my home", she emphasised her ownership, confused by Jaime's undressing, his jacket falling to cover his earlier removal. "What are you doing? I'm not going to do anything with you up here", she all but fumbled over her words as his sweater hit the ground.

He smirked at her uncomfortableness, "We're going to jump."

As if that was a better option Brienne thought before her mouth caught up with her reeling brain, "Jump?"

"Into the water. Don't worry we did it all the time when I was a kid. There were a few second story windows that hung over one of the lakes at home. Every summer we'd climb up and cannonball in."

"And you all came out in one piece?" Brienne wasn't sure if that was a question or a statement but she did know that there was no way she was going off that cliff with him unless it was in something with an engine and wings.

"Mostly."

"That's not a good word in this situation Jaime."

He offered her his left hand and she  stared it down, unmoving, until he hopefully would drop it, "I'm going in the water and you are coming with me. Live a little."

"Living is exactly what I want to continue doing", Brienne was firm, "And that goes for you too."

"So you're just going to watch me then?" he shot her a lazy lopsided smile, the one that usually meant she would at least consider what he was asking. _Not this time_ , she thought, not when it included a possible kamikaze move.

"I've never known you to be so passive", Jaime's laughter was barely concealed beneath his peaceful demeanour.

Brienne glared, "I'm not. I just can't say drowning appeals to me as much as it obviously does to you."

"We won't drown", he offered his hand again and she wandered over to the very edge of the jutting cliff, peering into the swirling water lapping and kissing like a lover at the beach to the right of them.

"It's like a forty foot drop Jaime. A little more than two stories."

"Just like a wench to be scared of a little fall", he bit back playfully and dammit all to hell, she knew he had her then.

He shook his hand out at her again and this time she caught it, causing a pleased smile to lighten his features, "If I die I am going to come back and haunt you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way", Jaime used his leverage to spin her into him, leaving a breathless kiss to her cheek, her mouth, her throat, "But I think your dad would kill me long before that should anything happen to you. Contrary to what you may think, I'm not ready to be parted from you just yet."

He winked and she sighed, resigned to this fate, "On three then?"

"Trust me", he told her with yet another knee melting kiss and although Brienne thought that she may regret it later she nodded. He tugged at her hand like an over excited child, smiling broadly, "Three."

Brienne easily matched Jaime's strides as they ran towards the edge, asking herself with every step why she wasn't just pulling up, she was after all strong enough to hold Jaime back with her. This wasn't what regular sane people did.

And then the ground was gone beneath her feet. 

For a second she felt weightless, like she really could fly over the water and off to wherever she wanted. It was an amazing second of pure freedom before the gravity inevitably hit and her body was pulled down, air screaming out of her lungs as they fell hand in hand into the less than inviting blue depths below. It felt like minutes, hours, days as they dropped, her mind clearing to a blank except for the sweet exhilaration of terror. The water still hit all too soon though, pushing any remaining breath out of her at it's sudden icy embrace. Brienne thought she heard Jaime let out an involuntary yelp as the waves ripped the warmth out of their skin, man made lakes in warm summers were one thing but in spring at least, sea water didn't get much above freezing even on a sunny day. 

"Why didn't you warn me?" Jaime spluttered and shivered as his head bobbed up above the water.

"You wouldn't have listened", she replied calmly, far more comfortable in the cold than he was. After all she had been in these waters many times before and in every season. "Just like a Lannister to be scared of a little cold."

Jaime grabbed for her but she ducked out of the way, more graceful in the water, quite literally swimming circles around him. 

"We need to get out of here", he told her with yet another shiver and Brienne pointed towards the beach, already swimming ahead of him.

                                                                                           ***********

Jaime lay back in the sand, not caring that the grains were sticking to his every soaked pore, arms locked behind his head he starred at the sun that had already begun to sit lower in the sky despite the actual sunset being hours away. Brienne put her freezing cold hand on his chest, as if checking he was still alive and breathing, and he shivered at the contact.

"I knew it was a crazy reckless idea", she told him, handing over her coat, that had somehow magically dried quicker than every piece of clothing he still had on. It would end up covered in sand, salt and smelling of him but she really didn't look all that bothered by it. 

"You still did it", he goaded for a response but got nothing but an exasperated snort in reply. Bundling himself into the fleece lining, warmed beautifully by her body, he changed track "You do realise we keep swapping clothes?"

"Yeah, like we're BFF's or something", even from his back he saw Brienne roll her eyes and he laughed. 

"If you get pneumonia you won't be laughing", she told him, still looking out over the water, causing him to laugh harder. "You really don't worry about anything do you?" Brienne asked with a look over her shoulder of something related to concern.

"Not when I've got you to worry for me", the sand was soft and warm underneath him, his head rapidly filling with her and even the air smelled cleaner than he was used to. Jaime honestly didn't know what there was to worry about, though to think of it there was something that was almost nagging at him. "But I may need your help with school."

"School?" she echoed, sliding across the sand towards him, "With everything that's happened I forgot to ask just how you're behind."

Jaime held up four fingers, "All from that semester I spent unconscious."

"I really can't believe they're not letting you off with that. It's not as if they couldn't have checked, you were in the hospital for months", Brienne was indignant, hackles up and ready to fight if needed.

 _And she had come every day to visit during that time,_ Jaime thought, realising just how long they'd been dancing towards friendship and more. She had paused again, clearly thinking and he watched her chew on her bottom lip, eyes wide with whatever was playing through her head.

"Tywin", she swore and Jaime nodded, though she had originally been seven steps ahead of him in that respect.  

"What can I say, when the Lannister's take up a grudge it goes deep."

Brienne looked as if she wanted him to elaborate on the issues he had with his family but she didn't ask and Jaime was thankful for that. Instead other questions spewed out of her like a waterfall, "Which classes? Who are the professors? Can you make it up? Re-sit your exams, re-write your papers?"

Jaime held up his fingers again, one at a time, "Four classes, Qyburn, Stark and two with Baelish. Qyburn agreed that I could make up his class if I wrote a paper on pain relief in the middle ages, something about milk of the poppy."

Brienne shook her head as she took another welcome shuffle towards him, "Never heard of it".

"I'm guessing it's an opium thing but that's one at least. Baelish and Stark are going to be impossible."

She was almost on top of him before she yelled, "Sansa!", far louder than needed in the quiet blue and gold surroundings. 

"I'm Jaime", he joked and she was now close enough to shove him into the sand, putting her whole body weight behind it to hold him there.

"Sansa", she spoke very slowly as if he was stupid, "Can talk to Baelish if I say it's in the name of true love", Jaime smiled at her words and tried to escape her hold, arching up into her, "It's icky but we think Baelish has a crush on her so if we're right, he'll not say no. And Sansa'll not be taking anymore politics classes after the end of the semester. I'll talk to Catelyn, you've changed and she needs to know that."

Jaime broke her hold, but she was pulling away by that point anyway, "I don't think I tell you enough that you're brilliant."

She wiped a stray lock of hair of her face and behind her ear as he studied her probably a little too intently, "Why didn't we have this sorted before now?" Jaime asked, serious for once.

Brienne shrugged sadly, "Because you didn't wake me up", and Jaime felt something tense inside him. Reaching out his hand he tangled it in her salty matted hair and pulled her down to the sand, "I've already said I'm sorry about that", he growled as she briefly brushed her lips to his forehead, her touch ghosting over the bruising Hunt had left.

"There's always summer school you know. In case we can't get Baelish to come around to your cause."

Jaime made a face up at her, not liking the idea of being stuck at college a moment longer than he needed to be, "And where will you be in the summer? Here?"

"I've got a job. Two jobs actually", she pushed herself up and sat in the sand beside him, a slight shiver going through her at the prolonged touch.

"At Kings?"

"Near enough", her gaze was fixed over the water again, watching the emerging orange, pink and red smoothie in the sky.

"Good."

She turned back to him and the warm colours of nature were doing funny things to her face, "If everything goes to plan you'll graduate in the winter, at least six months before me."

"You would really kick me out? And give up all the orgasms?" Jaime sat up in one swift movement, knowing he would prefer not to have to go back to Casterly if he could avoid it. Tyrion would be gone by June and he would be, on paper at least, be temporarily homeless.

"Margaery and Sansa might. I don't think they appreciated the noise."

He laughed, "I'll just have to find us a place of our own then. It'll be nice and ..."

"Domestic?" Brienne offered, though he noticed that she didn't protest at the idea of them living together so he went all out.

"You're always just there. It's getting annoying actually."

Brienne beamed, the smile reaching her eyes and turning them from stunning to astonishing, but replied in kind, sweet with a little bite, "Now you know how I feel. Only with you it's worse, you're always talking", she paused and Jaime waited for her next declaration with a smile. "I'm thinking we should move soon."

"Shower?"

She shook her head and his smile disappeared, "I'm thinking bath. Then bed."

Jaime let his smile return, wider and more ferocious than ever, "How domestic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this latest chapter. As nothing much happened there will be more in time. They'll be back at Kings next chapter so Sansa, Margaery and Tyrion will be back too.
> 
> I know Brienne's mother doesn't have a name in canon, so I've taken some liberties here. It's nothing more than a guess.
> 
> Feedback makes my day, so if you've got a minute please do leave a comment :)


	23. Chapter Twenty Three: But don't ever give me up, I could never get back up (When the future starts so slow)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, Shakespeare and sapphires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's another crazy fluffy chapter and it's probably one of the longest I've written so far, I thought about maybe splitting this in two but I decided I prefer it the way it currently is. 
> 
> Thanks for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter, they are all so lovely and push me into writing more.
> 
> Chapter title is from Future Starts Slow by The Kills.

Brienne had been right eventually, they hadn't really spent much time out of her room, out of her bed or even in their clothes for the last couple of days before they had to return to college. Earlier in the week she thought she'd managed to show Jaime every square inch of the island and he was still acting like he was interested in the nature and slow pace of life. 

He had been in the sea again, not really knowing when to give Brienne the upper hand, wanting to show her that he was just as strong when it came to the cold. She'd simply watched and worried from the beach, thinking how much trouble Tywin and Cersei would cause for her if Jaime caught pneumonia or ended up doing more serious damage to his hand. True to form Jaime had shook it off and assured her that he was actually getting to a stage where he liked the temperature of the clear sapphire blue water. Brienne found she didn't believe him for a second, and quietly invited him back for a weekend in August when he wouldn't have to lie.

Still half asleep at noon the day before they had to leave, she realised that if it hadn't been for Jeyne's foresight they probably would have forgotten to eat anything with any sort of decent nutritional content at all. Brienne actually wondered if her new step-mother had seen something in their eyes and figured out they'd be too caught up in each other to want to do anything as mundane as cooking. However it had happened both her and Jaime had become very appreciative of having restaurant quality meals on tap without even having to open the front door. It was one of a number things she was going to miss back in her other life.

Real life was starting to call to her though, even through the warmth of Jaime's body against hers and the welcome contended haze that had settled in her head several days earlier and still hadn't lifted, a world filled with the stories of crusading warriors, saints and schemes. A world where she was a responsible adult with a team of junior fencers to train for competitions, with friends who strangely wanted her opinion on everything from skirts to movies and with a father to try and make proud despite her shortcomings. It wasn't a world where spending a day in bed for non-medical reasons had ever occurred to her before. 

Though now it had happened, Brienne wasn't likely to forget a single second of Jaime's lips against hers. But better than the kisses, better than the way he had slowly mapped out her entire body with teasing fingertips and lapping strokes of his tongue, were the sleepy moments between the bouts of passion. She would feel so loved, so wanted just lying wrapped up with him, that there was finally no doubt in her mind that this was what she'd been looking for all along as a younger woman, before her heart got trampled under the feet of less than deserving men. White knights may be a fallacy but a possible golden one was purring and murmuring at her back, his touch loathe to leave her skin. He was tracing freckles across her shoulders and lower, joining them up as if she was a puzzle he was trying to solve and she gave herself willingly for him to figure out.

Though, to use a turn of phrase she wasn't overly enamoured with, they still hadn't gone all the way again. Jaime would rub up against her as they made out, grinding his pure desire down on a taut thigh muscle and she would pull away from the idea of having him inside her like that again. He had to promise her multiple times that he was fine with the way things had settled down before Brienne could get over her building apprehension, and that cross his heart, he wouldn't try anything until she was completely comfortable with the proposed action.

But there were things he had been right about too. There were other ways to get to the same point. 

She was fascinated by his grunts, his laughter as she committed him to memory. Allowing her fingers to tap their way across his chest and lower to where, judging by the speed of his breathing, he must have positively ached for her. 

If she pressed her lips to where his head met his shoulders, if she ran her tongue along his collarbone and bit down at a certain spot he'd be hard in her hesitant hand almost immediately. It was an interesting, powerful feeling to have him at her mercy, wide eyed and panting, as she would tease him as he had done to her. Not that it meant he would stop the words coming out from behind his lips though her name over and over again, a breathy sigh as if in prayer to an unknown god, was almost a bigger head rush than all the highs he had pulled out of her. Brienne hadn't known what she was doing at first, every flicker of her fingers and twist of her wrist was unsure until it produced a reaction from him. He would grunt, muttering what sounded like nonsense until she moved again. Since learning what he wanted, what he liked, she let everything slow down as if getting her own back for all the times it had taken him more than half an hour for his mouth to move from her collarbone to between her thighs.

"Stop...torturing...me", the words were getting more difficult for him, his breathing now huge gulps of air between groans he wasn't concealing anymore.

Instead of meeting his lips, sharing his breath, Brienne sat back on her knees watching his pupils blow even wider as she sped up her ministrations, bringing him to a place his current dishevelled appearance warranted. His hair was almost a spread halo as he let his head fall back against the wall, so close to where he wanted to be. She saw the end coming before she felt it, his face softened, one last word escaping and then her hand was sticky with the proof of his satisfaction.

He kissed her forehead after, as if she had done him some great favour, but the feeling of his skin burning against her felt exactly like love.

It was a very powerful feeling indeed.

"Are you still sure we have to leave tomorrow?" Jaime's words rumbled against her back sometime later, breaking her out of her dreamlike state.

"It's opening night of Sansa's play and I promised I'd be there", it was a simple enough explanation to pull her out of a circle of bliss and domesticity.

Jaime moved his lips to brush against sensitive spots at the top of her spine, causing Brienne to turn to face him before he could dip his hand any lower than where it currently rested across her stomach, "We don't have to be physically touching all the time, you know." Though as she said it she splayed her own hands across his chest and shoulders, feeling the familiarity in that motion.

"You're still touching", he smiled, looking as languid as she felt.

"You're in my way."

There was a second of disappointment shining across his face before she had to laugh, since the first time he had climbed into her bed Jaime's habit of putting himself between her and the door, almost as protection from unseen attackers, had finally gotten her to a level of bemused annoyance.  
   
At her laugh he grinned proudly, "If I wasn't do you really think you would have paid me any attention at all?"

"Of course. You're far too annoying to ignore forever."

"Annoying?", he asked, grin turning into dangerous smirk territory, "I'll remember that next time you're begging me to finish you off."

She stretched, less of a response to him and more in effort to get out of an uncomfortable position but Jaime took it as a challenge anyway, rolling her over on to her back and holding her down. It wasn't an unwelcome move, she'd been ready for him to do something for a while, just an indication that at times Brienne had to concede that he was strong enough.

She meet his eyes, defiant, "I don't beg."

"Oh really?" Jaime purred, clearly thinking quickly, "Let's see what I can do to change that."

 _One more day,_ she thought, closing her eyes as his mouth hit hers, drifting away into the coming wave of euphoria.

                                                                                          **********

"Brienne", Jaime dragged her name out in the calm silence of early morning, finding out that waking up alone really didn't suit him anymore, "What are you doing?"

"Cleaning up this pigsty before we leave", she replied, her face hidden from him as she sat on the floor, folding blankets neatly across her knees.

Jaime grimaced, remembering that they had a nearly nine hour journey back to their proper homes, "Can you not just leave it the way it is?"

"And come back to bed and let you distract me until it's too late to make the play", she still hadn't looked at him, but it seemed all of a sudden Brienne had become a mind reader. He didn't respond so she continued, "If you stay in someone's house you tidy up before you leave, it's just the right thing to do."

"But it's your house", Jaime argued, rolling on to his back and covering his eyes with his arm, blocking out the light. 

"The sentiment still applies", he heard her rise from the floor and slowly uncovered his eyes to drown in the very warmest of ocean depths. Brienne had put one knee on the bed, her palm flat by his head, leaning over, "Or do you not want to be invited back?"

He let out a happy growl from the back of his throat, arching up into her to glance the chastest of kisses to her lips. He felt her smile into the touch and pressed for more, but she pulled away. "Jaime", Brienne warned, but there was a deep exhale of breath along with his name.

"So what time's the ferry?" he sighed, still reluctant to leave the peacefulness of Tarth to return to what his father and sister had planned for him.

"There's one every couple of hours. I'd like to be on the road by ten at the latest."

Jaime groaned, "Which means it's now, what, seven am?"

"Six."

"I hate you", he grumbled without any real hatred at all, pulling a pillow over his head.

"You know you're such a child, right?" Brienne sat down beside him, removing the pillow to stroke cool fingers through his hair, stretching her legs out along the bed.

He turned and her fingers were gone almost as quickly as they'd appeared. "Would you let me help if I could have another hour asleep?"

"Mmmmm", she murmured at him, "But I'm not joining you."

Jaime tried to reply, tried to persuade her to stay, but found that he was just too tired to keep his eyes open even a minute longer.

                                                                                        **********

Brienne had been putting clean plates back into kitchen cupboards by the time Jaime had eventually woken up again, closer to eight am then seven, but though he had wanted to help tidy up after himself it would have been slower with him in tow, so she had let him sleep. The downside being that he would be wide awake and overly talkative in the car later, and she'd probably have to listen to at least a dozen Rhianna songs before they even got half way home, but she thought she could deal with that.

He tried to sneak into the kitchen around her, picking up a warm plate in his left hand and promptly dropped it. Brienne turned as she heard it hit the floor and snap in two.

"Be careful, we don't have a never ending supply of those."

"I'll buy you two new ones for everyone I break", Jaime promised as another plate fell of the bench and ended up on the floor. At least he tried to catch it, she thought, but his grip was off and the china shattered as it hit. He needed more practice with his left hand as his hand-eye coordination was still a little off. The shattered plates gave Brienne an almost brilliant idea Jaime wouldn't argue with.

"Tuesday you're coming with me to the gym", she told him, giving little room for manoeuvrability on the subject, "I've still got our old slot booked out."

"You're going to re-train me", Jaime sounded pleasantly surprised as he let a third plate shatter.

"I'm going to try", she corrected, "But keep the suggestive glances and innuendoes at home please."

"Please", Jaime muttered, "Every second we've fought has been sexually charged, leaving that at home would ruin the experience."

Brienne flushed a little at his words, trying not to remember the electric charged thrusting dance and the way she'd pinned him to the floor between her thighs the very first time they'd been alone in the gym. "This will be a difference experience", she tried to sound firm but her voice hitched a little and she knew Jaime caught it.

"Well I'm all for new experiences", he took a step closer but she shooed him away, glancing down at all the pretty pieces on the floor.

"You owe me six plates."

"I'll send a cheque", Jaime shrugged, ignoring her looks, stepping around the jagged edges to end up within touching distance once more.

"Sometimes I forget how much money you grew up with."

"You know a Lannister always pays his debts", it was a regular snarky comeback as he stepped so close she could almost feel his heart beating through her skin and muscles.

"And what's your debt to me then?" Brienne didn't mean it the way it came out, it was supposed to be playful but it  ended up sounding as if being with her was something he was repaying, his choice of words and the memories they brought up driving her tone to a harsher place than intended.

"Simple, I owe you my life", Jaime's tone was light, he knew her too well now to know when to change the mood of their conversations.

"And?" She prompted.

Jaime took a breath, she felt his exhale tickle all of the tiny hairs at the back of her neck sending goosebumps across her suddenly cold skin. "I love you. Hell I need you, and not only to keep me in one piece."

Placing the remaining cutlery in the draw all out of place, Brienne turned and and wrapped her arms around him. Jaime burying his head into her neck and she made to kiss his hair. "If you find an apartment I think I'd like to move in with you."

"Really?" She felt his tentative smile, a tiny glimmer of hope against her skin. "I don't need to get Sansa and Margaery to help persuade you this time?"

"They may want you to stay close."

"Done", Jaime nestled closer, even though that wasn't necessarily possible. 

"We might not get much done at first but new experiences matter", Brienne predicted, ready to take the leap of faith. She'd honestly been living with him for longer than she probably realised, and that wasn't counting all the time he'd been living in her head. 

"That's what I've been trying to tell you for all this time."

"Shut up", she almost laughed, loving the feel of his hair against the skin of her chin and cheek.

"You know your "shut up's" and "I love you's" are getting confused in your head."

She pulled him gently off her, a hand in his hair and met his eyes, "I love you."

Jaime grinned up at her, "I know you do, I just don't hear it enough."

She let out a soft snort at the look on his face, "How did I end up with you?"

"Just lucky I guess."

Brienne sighed as he settled back into one of his favourite places, holding him close, and not that she would ever tell him this, but she thought she must have hit some kind of jackpot. 

                                                                                          ***********

"So can I drive?" Jaime beamed, holding up the car keys as she loaded the vehicle up with their bags. He only had the bag with his suit in over one arm, throwing the rest of his stuff in the back seat. As she looked down at the pile of bags still to fit into the small space, Brienne knew she was actually taking far more back with her then she'd come with, a whole shelf of books she wanted to re-read, two paintings off her wall for the promised new apartment and the silk jumpsuit after Jaime's insistence that he would find her another occasion to wear it.

She looked up at the jangling sound, folding her arms across her chest, "Did your right hand miraculously heal since you smashed those three plates?"

Jaime waved the bandaged appendage at her and Brienne raised her eyebrows in reply, "I'm taking that as a no." 

"It's getting better. I think." 

"Better is good. But I'm still not letting you drive." He could at times wear her down a little about certain things, she didn't care about trivialities that he did that much, but she would always stand her ground when it came to the important moments. Case in point, a generally reckless Jaime shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel on a normal day, never mind one handed.

"Can I direct then?" he seemed a little too eager to assist.

"I think I know the way better than you. I have driven it several dozen times", he was starting early with the restlessness she noticed, tapping his feet, drumming his fingers.

"But you won't know the very best place to eat lunch this side of Kings. Even you can't deny you need to eat."

"As long as I'll fit in", she told him, trying to prevent one of her main insecurities coming back into her head, wanting to not stick out anymore than usual and one of Jaime's fancy country club style haunts might be a little past her comfort zone. So far past, in fact, that she thought she might be better off in another county should he ever suggest a visit.

He took a full look over her, sparks in his eyes, before he replied, "Yeah you'll fit."

"But will I fit in?" she emphasised the last word as she caught his eye.

"I wouldn't want you to", he paused and she let a mixture of anger and unsteady almost confidence flood her head, "But you should like it."

"You always say that."

"I've never had any complaints as yet."

"Maybe you should listen a little better then."

He winked and she sighed, their points likely to go in circles unless she put a stop to it soon.

"Get in the car."

He was sweetness and light all of a sudden, which was highly suspicious, "Whatever you say."

                                                                                    ************

They had been a few hours into their drive back when Jaime almost missed his lunch turn off, his stomach had been growling for a while and Brienne had asked if he was sure this was the very best place and if they couldn't just pick up some burgers instead. He found her slight fear adorable, there wasn't many things that could scare the tall blonde and he was making sure to document each one. Weddings were a definite fear, sex maybe but not intimacy, and now planned surprises seemed to be another. It was a shame he thought, he had some great ideas but it wouldn't do if she was so fearful that she struck out or ran away. He would have asked her to trust him, but he knew she did anyway or she wouldn't have turned the car in the first place.

"Left here", he directed, pulling the correct way through years of familiarity. "And your next right."

They were getting further and further away from civilisation and as soon as Brienne took note of the redwood trees blocking out the early spring afternoon sunshine she pulled the car over to the side of the road. Safely, Jaime noted, so that no passersby would even have to slightly swerve.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, turning to face him with a look of pure exasperation.

"Lunch."

"And the whole truth is?" she questioned him a second time, pushing closer to his original idea.

"Lunch", he repeated, watching her every flicker and twitch, not lying but not answering her questions with any real answers. He pointed up the road, "One more turn and then we'll be there. Surely you don't just want to turn around and waste another fifteen minutes going back the way we came. Aren't you curious?"

Brienne started the engine without a word, though the glare she sent him was clearly meant to fill in the silence. Jaime pushed his chair back, gaining another strong look in the process and put his feet up on the dashboard for the remaining five minutes of the journey.

The driveway up to the house was exactly how he remembered it from the previous summer, red cherry blossom trees that hadn't quite begun to flower yet lined the single file road, the fields beyond them lush and green. Why any member of the Lannister family had decided to settle here would have been beyond Jaime's reasoning not so long ago, but that would have been before he'd spent a week on the island of Tarth.

"So who lives here?" Brienne asked as a definite house came into view.

 _Busted_ , Jaime thought, but he had managed to drag it out a bit longer than he had expected and at least she didn't sound too mad.

"Someone who's never refused to feed me before", he answered as he saw the unmistakable image of one of his favourite relatives coming into view. His Aunt stood in the doorway of her house, arms across her chest, watching the unusual car trundle down the driveway road.

In her youth Genna Lannister-Frey had been a beautifully curvy woman, a fifties pin up girl closer to Veronica Lake than Grace Kelly and almost with the scandal to go along with it. Since marrying Emmon Frey almost twenty years earlier she'd popped out four children who had added inches to her hips and waist, squaring off her face. Jaime suspected that at least one of her kids wasn't her husband's but Genna was highly intelligent, smart enough to be the CFO of the Fortune 500 section of the Lannister business, and he knew that messing with her was like messing with a tank. You didn't do it if you wanted to get out unhurt. 

"Jaime", Genna came towards her nephew as he stepped out of the car, not without some difficulty, arms outstretched in a very maternal manner, "What exactly brings you all the way out here?"

"We were in the neighbourhood, can't I stop in on my favourite Aunt?"

"You're here for lunch", Genna responded, reading him in a second and Jaime was sure he heard Brienne smother a laugh behind him. 

"Well if you're offering, I don't think it would be polite to refuse."

His Aunt regarded him with wise, shrewd eyes, "You've changed", she told him as Jaime squirmed away, a little boy again under her scrutiny.

"It's been eight months Aunt Genna, not eight years."

The older woman stared him in the eye, hand at his chin moving his head from side to side, "You've grown up", Genna accused, "And it's not just the beard, which makes you look homeless by the way."

Jaime shrugged, looking for Brienne over his shoulder, "Jaime Lannister disappointing relatives since the day he was born."

He saw Brienne open her mouth but nothing came out, the gesture giving her an almost docile look, which was so far from the truth Jaime didn't really want to believe it.

"And you've brought a friend", Genna dropped her hand to be able to step nearer to Brienne, giving her the once over the way only a mother can. 

"This is Brienne", Jaime offered, "My very best friend in the entire world."

The younger blonde's mouth twitched as if trying to smile at him, but it didn't fully materialise as his Aunt stopped it with her next utterance.

"Oh. You're Brienne", Genna sounded like she knew the name and Jaime was suddenly aware that this may have been a bad idea. He had just wanted to introduce Brienne to a member of his extended family that would accept her with no problems, since hers had been so nice and accepting to him. Genna was a ridiculously strong woman and so was Brienne, they should have have at least respected that strength in each other. But that wasn't happening yet

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jaime asked but the older woman pretended not to hear him.

"You're the girl who called out my brother", Genna addressed Brienne directly who was at least looking the other woman in the face.

"I didn't mean to", Brienne stuttered out slowly.

Jaime beamed in response to the question, answering for her, "That she is."

Genna took Brienne's hand in hers, looking up into her eyes to get her next point across, "My dear you are one in a million to try that and get away unscathed, you should be proud of that if nothing else." She paused and Jaime let himself relax a little, he had been right about these two, "And you are slightly different to what I was led to believe."

It was her eyes that did that Jaime thought watching as Brienne blushed, muttering something that neither of them could hear but he could guess the gist of it quite easily. 

"The kids have just sat down to lunch in the back garden if you want to join them. I need to borrow my nephew off you for a couple of minutes", Genna offered Brienne, "If any of them give you any abuse I won't mind if you give a little back."

Jaime smiled at Brienne's shocked expression, "They're Lannister's, you know how to deal with them."

"She must have the patience of a saint to go out with you", Genna told him lovingly as she waved his surprised but determined girlfriend around to the back of the house.

"Not in the slightest", Jaime admitted, "But I wouldn't change her for anything." His stomach suddenly voiced it's discomfort and it struck him that he was being denied the facade of the reason he had visited, "What's so important that I can't eat straight away?"

"Did you know that I have some of Joanna's things in storage? Your father didn't want them around after she died."

He didn't but it wasn't a surprise, Tywin had shut down after Jaime's second mother had died, "Shouldn't they go to Cersei?"

"She has what she wants. Mainly a lot of rubies and diamonds."

Jaime had to admit that definitely sounded like his sweet sister.

"The rest of it is yours and Tyrion's. No", Genna paused at the look on his face, "Don't look at me like that, Joanna was the only mother Tyrion knew and even if she didn't give birth to you she was yours as well. If you want something to remember her by, you are more than entitled to it. One day you boys may be in need of an expensive heirloom. Even us unattractive girls can appreciate a..."

"I don't think either of us are quite there yet", he cut her off sharply.

"Neither do I but one day you might be. There's at least one understated sapphire cluster in there that might be of some interest."

"Can I eat now before your hoard of locusts destroy everything?"

Genna waved him off, following slowly a few steps behind. _Sapphires,_ Jaime thought, _why couldn't he ever stop thinking about sapphires?_

He was quiet all the way through lunch and didn't even protest when Brienne tuned her radio to death metal during the final hours of their drive home.

                                                                                          ***********

"So would you want a garden or not?" Jaime suddenly asked after hours of silence making Brienne jump slightly as she pulled up outside her house.

"Garden?"

"For when we move in together. I need to know what I'm looking for."

"I don't know", she replied honestly, "Would you promise me something though?" she asked as she finally got out of the small space and shut the drivers door behind her, "Sell that ridiculous sports car before Arya Stark takes it on a joyride."

"She's a little kid", Jaime scoffed at the idea, falling in step with Brienne as they walked up the path.

"She's sixteen and I know her brothers have taught her how to drive, borrowing your car would not be beyond her. Besides wouldn't you prefer to have the money for your apartment hunt?"

" _Our_ apartment hunt. You're going to have to visit every single one."

Brienne was just about to turn her key in the front door lock, listening intently to Jaime's continued longing suggestions of garden apartments, when it opened all of a sudden and she jumped back in shock.

"It's a bloody epidemic", Jaime laughed from behind her, as she took in the sight of a very bleary eyed Robb Stark. Brienne looked at her watch, back to Robb and then at Jaime again who had thankfully stopped laughing to regard her with a bemused expression.

"Who is it?" Margaery's voice sang out from the back of the house, following the eldest Stark child out into the hallway. She looked mussed, lip gloss on her cheek, soft curls frizzing as if she'd been out in the rain.

"Brienne!" she exclaimed as she saw the two blonds still standing outside and made to hug her friend, nodding her head at Jaime in greeting.

"When you said you wanted to do nothing...?" Brienne asked as Margaery pulled away, finding she didn't quite know where to look.

"Hi Nothing", Jaime stepped up beside her waving at Robb, who at least was looking like he was waking up now, and she elbowed the blond man quickly in the gut before he could say anything more.

"Things came up", Margaery shrugged, covering her mouth a second later at her choice of words. Brienne matched the brunette's blush, though Margaery managed somehow to look even more delicate with the rose pink tint across her face unlike Brienne's blazing hot scarlet that leant her features no favours. 

Margaery let out a squeal of delight, overruling her embarrassment, and the rarity of the noise made Brienne smile. Her smaller, prettier friend pulled her in for another hug and the blonde girl thought that no matter how wonderful her time spent with Jaime was, she would miss this odd version of sisterhood when she moved out.

"Did you...?" the brunette asked and Brienne nodded.

"Sansa will..."

"Freak out", Margaery and Brienne finished in unison, laughing at their synchronistic thought.

Robb ran a hand through his curls, as if throughly confused by the girls secret codes, "Is it always like this?"

Jaime clapped him on the shoulder as he passed by on his way into the house, "Sometimes it's worse."

"I'm not sure I even know what's going on", Robb confessed.

"Welcome to the club."

                                                                                             **********

"A Midsummer Night's Dream performed by the Kings College Drama Department", Jaime read the flyer in his hand as they stood in the lobby of the amateur theatre, almost an hour after they'd arrived back at college, "Don't they know it's April and not June?"

"It's not a directive to when it should be performed", Brienne informed him, reading over his shoulder. "Sansa's the lead", she pointed down at the only recognisable name on the list of students.

 _Oh crap,_ she thought as she scanned the other names quickly, make that one of the only recognisable names on there.

"Titania, Queen of the Fairies, Cersei Lannister", Jaime read slowly, getting to the same point as Brienne moments later, "At least she's a queen, that'll make her happy."

 _Well we wouldn't want her to be unhappy would we,_ Brienne thought darkly.

"Speak of the devil", Jaime nudged her with his hip as the beauteous blonde appeared in front of them as if by magic. She was already in her costume and from what Brienne could make out it mainly consisted of glitter, rose petals and wings.

"Brother", Cersei half purred, half snapped and Brienne knew she would never understand their twisted relationship no matter how much Jaime told her.

"Sister", Jaime snarked back at her, his tone no where near hers. "I see someone forgot to tell you that you had to wear a costume."

A normal person would have blushed, or at least been embarrassed by their public state of undress, but Cersei pushed her chest forward, hands on hips, emphasising all the softness the other blonde girl in earshot didn't have. 

"Are you two joined at the hip now?" she asked bluntly, ignoring Brienne's presence for the moment.

"That and other things", Jaime grinned his ferocious reply, reaching for the woman who was firmly on his side.

Cersei raised her eyebrows, but there was no surprise there other than maybe the fact that Jaime was admitting his relationship in public now. "If you could perhaps spare her for a second, Sansa Stark has been asking for her friend, something about a good luck charm", Cersei looked throughly put out to be used as a messenger service.

"And you're running errands for Sansa now because you're such a nice person?"

"Shes the lead, we all bow to whomever we need to, to get ahead."

 

"Do you enjoy fucking him?" Cersei asked as soon as Jaime was far enough away not to hear, her questioning as usual blunt and Brienne knew before any affirmation could sneak out of her that Cersei didn't actually care about her feelings. It was just something hurtful to say before she got to her point. 

"I'll admit it's a rush the first few times. Well", she ran her eyes down the taller girl beside her, "Maybe more than the first few but I suppose with you of all people it'll take a while longer for the shine to come off. I'd be surprised if you've known many men."

She didn't wait for any kind of response before she continued, clearly enjoying the sound of her own voice.

"Enjoy him while you can Brienne", Cersei warned as she turned to leave, the messenger service either being a lie or something she hadn't intended on thoroughly carrying out. The five minute bell rang out and her delicate gauze fairy wings slightly rustled against each other though ice ran in-between the words, "We all have a part to play in the Lannister business and Jaime is no different. He's going to come home, it's just a matter of when."

"Oh and Brienne", the taller blonde's name was a bitter thing in Cersei's head if the way her lips pursed was any indication, "He has a meeting Monday morning at 10am, please make sure he's where he needs to be."

The implication was clear. Through Lannister eyes, Jaime didn't belong with Brienne.

"Are you ok?" Margaery was suddenly behind her, placing a friendly hand on her shoulder. Brienne assumed that she had only just arrived somewhere near the end of Cersei's rant otherwise there would have been a few more strong words exchanged that evening. Maybe there was actually a positive to taking forty five minutes to get ready for a night out.

"I'm fine", the blonde girl replied, no word a lie, "Come on, doesn't Sansa need our support now."

Margaery gave her friend a small look of concern before nodding, "Are we ready for this do you think?"

"How bad can it be?"

"Famous last words Brie", the brunette laughed, "I'm more worried if it's good, we don't need Sansa being a diva."

"You don't you mean. I'm moving out."

"No!", Margaery exclaimed without thinking, adding a second later, "Oh things are going well aren't they? I'm just happy you noticed before Jaime exploded with the tension."

Brienne laughed, she really had missed her friends, "We better take our seats, Sansa'll know if we're not there for the opening."

"And then we'll be in trouble."

Brienne thought that trouble was beginning to follow her around and it's name definitely wasn't Sansa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you made it to the end of all that fluff I'm very happy you stuck with me :)
> 
> If you've got a minute, please do leave a comment. I appreciate every one and re-read them as I'm writing the next  instalments. 


	24. Chapter Twenty Four: Can you feel that yeah? (We're playing with love tonight)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From A Midsummer Night's Dream to A Mid-April Fencing Reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this may be over 7,000 words but I desperately wanted the last scene in and it didn't really work without the rest of the build up. (And sorry, Sansa's freak out is still to come, other things kept getting in the way)
> 
> As fluffy as a marshmallow in parts, though a nightmare of doubt to write and I'm probably still not completely happy with some of it, so apologies for this. Also due to the fact that I watched Wonderful and Loved By All with NCW between chapters all I want to do now is write sexy and/or cute J/B kissing scenes so I've tried to overrule this and fit some more plot in.
> 
> Thanks again to maidennotsofair for reading the end section and attempting to put some of my doubts to rest. You are a star :)
> 
> Title is a slightly amended lyric from Price Tag by Jessie J.

_Sansa was good_ , Brienne thought as the redhead danced and moped her way around the stage like she was born to do it, the romance alive in her bright blue eyes. She was better than good really, the old fashioned tone of the language seemed to flow out of her friend and the feeling of second nature provided Sansa with an aura of greatness, standing out against the general mediocrity of most of the other performers. It was no wonder she had been given one of the leads.

Cersei on the other hand, spent the whole time looking as if there was a bad smell under her nose, despite her goddess like visage that clearly spoke to a few of the less mature members of the audience. Jaime's deafening quiet beside her when his step sister first appeared on stage was verging on worrying, Cersei's eyes catching in the spotlight and glinting hidden emerald warnings to those who knew what to look for. It almost fitted her part, she was a playing a queen after all, but it turned Brienne's stomach a little to think that she was probably still nothing more than something to be disgusted in certain people's eyes. And when those people had a habit of voicing their opinions, it just made everything worse.

Once the play had settled down and fallen into a general rhythm of dreamlike fancy it hadn't taken long for Jaime to grow bored with the events on stage, capricious to a fault at times, despite his not always well hidden romantic streak. He had sat on her left side for a reason Brienne realised as she felt his fingers dance and drum at her wrist, pushing up her long sleeve to expose more freckled skin to his restless touch. She knew that Jaime wouldn't have come along to see the Stark girl perform if it hadn't been for Brienne's friendship so she let him amuse himself with his tiny rhythmic touches as she tried to focus on the efforts of the drama club. Though when he changed his mind again, and his lips hit the soft skin of her inner wrist she had to bite her tongue to prevent the unwanted giggle that rose in the back of her throat at the tickling sensation.

She glanced across at him sharply, now only being able to half listen to Sansa's monologue, and even in the almost dark she could see him grin.

"Am I bothering you?" he mouthed carefully, the look on his face clearly showing he already hoped he knew what the answer would be.

Brienne shook her head, hiding all expression from his darting mischievous gaze. He laughed silently at the received blank stare, all the emotion in his eyes and gently placed her arm back on the velvet cushioned rest making sure to keep in contact as much as possible as he rolled the sleeve back down to her hand. The motion seemed to indicate there would be things to come later, in a space where he could bother her even more.

On her right Margaery and Robb were at the complete other end of the spectrum, knowing exactly how to behave appropriately in public as a couple. It was the picture of sweetness, hands barely touching on the arm rest between them at first until Robb had wrapped his arm around the brunette's shoulders and pulled her a tiny bit closer. In wasn't a move Jaime would have made with her Brienne thought, he preferred to be on her shoulder, his lips moving up her neck and her hand in his hair in less time it took to blink. 

Margaery's long standing crush on her oldest friend's brother was apparently well documented if Sansa's tales were anywhere close to the truth. Robb had been the Tyrell girl's first kiss when they'd been children, which Brienne had to admit was terribly sweet given the way they were currently, but they hadn't actually become anything close to an official couple until very recently. Sansa had muttered the names ' _Roslin'_ and ' _Talisa'_ when Brienne has asked why it had them taken all those years to end up as more than friends. The blonde girl also wondered if Sansa hadn't given them a tiny push at any point, thinking that it was the redhead's modus operandi, and she would have been over the moon if her best friend, who was already part of her family, actually could on paper maybe become an official Stark at some point in the future.

By the time the curtain went down and the house lights came on, Brienne realised she'd probably missed the last ten minutes of the first act simply due to over-thinking. 

Jaime was up and out of his seat quickly, he would have been faster than a sprinter out of the starting blocks had he not paused for a second to place a bruising impetuous kiss to her lips. She'd been biting on the lower one as her mind wandered beyond Shakespearian ramblings and Jaime's touch was almost a balm to the damage her teeth had done to the already chapped surface. She arched subconsciously up into the kiss, the angle of him leaning over her feeling unusual, letting it linger for slightly longer than necessary. A wolf whistle broke them out of their reverie and Brienne pushed him gently away, his lips resting half at her forehead and half in her hair, allowing time for his breathing to slow before he broke contact completely.

"Whoa", Margaery exclaimed from the blonde girl's elbow, tapping on the sweater covered surface to get her friend to turn and face her. The brunette scanned her face and Brienne thought it must have been one of the few times she had seen the smaller girl wrestling with speechlessness.

"So I guess you had a really nice time this week then?" Margaery asked finally, Brienne feeling her focus over eyes that had widened and pinking cheeks. 

"It wasn't like that", the older girl mumbled, knowing that at times it had been exactly what her friend was insinuating. 

Margaery arched a well designed eyebrow gracefully, "So you didn't christen every single room in your house then? No noise complaints?"

Brienne shook her head quickly, even more embarrassed by her friends gentle teasing implications than Jaime's familiar but controlled passion.

"Next time you go home you're going to have to promise to take Sansa and me, even if it's only for a few days", Margaery pushed the rapidly derailing conversation back on track, "You spend enough time with the Stark family for them to consider adopting you..."

"Rickon calls you his giant blonde sister", Robb piped up, who had been quietly reading messages on his phone until that point. He had graduated a year earlier and Brienne assumed all the messages were from his current job, working for the Stark family's very busy business. "And you know how fond he is of giants."

Margaery smiled, squeezing Robb's hand momentarily, "And whether you like it or not, you know most of my family too. So I think it's about time we meet yours."

"It's so far away", Brienne protested nervously, the worry of her friend's reactions heavy in her mind, "And you may hate it."

"What would you hate?" Jaime was back, two pots of ice cream balanced in his open palm.

"Tarth", Margaery answered as he handed over a dark brown carton to her. "What's this for?" 

Jaime shrugged, ignoring the question, "Tarth's beautiful. How anyone could hate it is beyond me."

"See?" Margaery crowed, "So when are you next going?"

"She mentioned something about August", Jaime replied before Brienne could get a word in edgeways, twinkling at her narrowing eyes before finally handing over the slightly crushed container he had been clutching, "And have you heard about the beaches?"

"Beaches?" Margaery echoed, "With proper sand?"

Brienne nodded, letting out a resigned sigh, "End of August. I'll let my dad know."

"Brilliant. I'm sure by that time you'll be dying for a vacation anyway. Three months working with that many kids and I'd be ready to scream."

Jaime reached over Brienne, scooping a bit of the escaping river of half melted vanilla ice cream up on his forefinger and bringing it to his mouth, "You haven't told me yet what you're actually doing this summer."

"Knight school at the armoury museum", she snatched the pot away before he could pull the same trick again.

"Night school?"

"K-N-I-G-H-T. Professor Goodwin recommended me for it".

"Which basically means she's got ten new kids every other week to turn into little knights", Margaery explained, "Horse riding, sword fighting and chivalry."

"Boys and girls", Brienne cut in firmly, "That was my only condition of taking it."

Jaime smiled, seemingly proud, "I'm going to have to start calling you Ser Brienne."

"Don't you dare", she warned, knowing that although it may start out like, which she wouldn't actually mind, that it was likely to rapidly descend into something she wouldn't appreciate. Jaime's love of the moniker 'wench' came to her mind quickly.

Jaime shot a grin over to Margaery, who nodded back in triumph and turned away to chat to Robb, "Is there going to be a joust?"

"Maybe", Brienne looked down to fumble with the lid to the now soaking cardboard pot in her lap. "But I don't have enough training to be involved with that."

Jaime reached down, not even breaking eye contact and popped the lid easily, running his fingers around the spillage. "I'm going to want proof of this with my own eyes you realise."

"They may not be too happy with spectators", Brienne told him as she made to stab him with her tiny plastic scoop but he moved too quickly. "If you'd have wanted this you shouldn't have given it to me."

"But yours always tastes so much better."

He went back for another helping but that time she was ready for him, moving the tiny pot up and away, leaving him to decide to drag his thumb along her full lower lip instead, collecting non-existent sweetened drops and taking it back to his own. His closed eyes and the slight audible pop of his thumb leaving his mouth made it clear of his want to do a few things to her again, probably on the floor of the auditorium if he could have gotten away with it. Her hormones responded by increasingly taking control over the more rational parts of her brain, Jaime's love and lust being things she probably wasn't ever going to get used to. This was all the island's fault she thought, battling her uncontrollable blood pressure back to a normal level, this time yesterday they had been stretched out as if they were the only two people in the world and now he had to at least try to act like normal civilised adult, if only when there were other people around.

"Get a room", Brienne heard Robb laugh after he glanced over at the pair who had now locked eyes and were refusing to give the other one even an inch of space to back down into.

"Stark, do I need to remind you about the first spring away game senior year?" Jaime swung his body around, away from only being in Brienne's eye line, to face the brunette couple.

Brienne turned watching Robb blanch. "Away game?" she whispered at no one in particular.

Jaime took up the story with an easy smile, the promise of an embarrassing youthful mishap written in the gesture, "There was a very attractive foreign exchange student senior year of high school. Tal?, Talisa I think. Dark hair, huge brown eyes and she was all over Robb for about six months before the spring away game. If I remember right she was...."

Robb coughed loudly and Brienne raised her eyebrows, "In the boys locker room", Jaime continued, "She was very attractive especially when she decided not to wear clothes."

"I hope you don't expect me to be doing that", Margaery grumbled, making the growling tone almost sound delicate. It also sounded like she had probably heard that story before and Jaime's re-telling was more for Robb's embarrassment than for the girls information.

"I didn't even expect her to be doing that", Robb spluttered and the blonde girl knew that Jaime had got his desired reaction as his hand clutched down at hers.

"We were all very disappointed when she went back to Volantis", Jaime quipped at Brienne's continued surprised look, stretching out his legs as if preparing to sleep for the next hour, the house lights starting to slowly go out to signal the start of the second act.

                                                                                     ***********

Margaery figured she was currently on the strangest double date she could have ever dreamt up. Jaime Lannister, cocky, assured and visibly so in love, Brienne Tarth, stubborn, mumbling but now almost toeing the line of hedonistic and Robb Stark, the same person she'd had a crush on since she was old enough to understand what that word meant. The same person who had sat around a dining room table with her and the tall redhead on stage, playing and chastising younger versions of themselves for cheating at Monopoly.

She also found it a very strange coincidence that both young men in their group had a sister on stage tonight. Margaery didn't believe in coincidences but she wasn't quite sure what the casting meant in the grand schemes of things.

She may have half joked to her roommate that she couldn't deal with Sansa being a drama queen but to be honest her performance tonight at least warranted her favourite, absolutely disgusting, broccoli and sweetcorn pizza. Margaery made a mental note to drive the long way home to pick up the snack, trying to keep her attention on Sansa but becoming increasingly fixed on Brienne's slight movements beside her. 

Brienne let out a tiny high pitched noise, too quiet for even the people in the next row to hear her but loud enough for Margaery to be slightly concerned. She heard a deep chuckle coming from Jaime, who's head was so close to her friend that in the dark she couldn't tell where the gold and straw blond strands began and ended. Margaery may have only just started to like Jaime, she had known him a long time and for most of it he had acted like a conceited shit. Plus she certainly still wouldn't have trusted him all that much had he not had the strongest, most honourable human being she had ever met sharing his bed, but it was that very woman that was proving to her that people could change and that meant she too could be gracious. Margaery shushed Brienne with a gently placed elbow, and she thought she would probably be highly grateful for the dark right about now if her blushing past performances were anything to go by. Although she was going to miss the blonde's common sense, purity of spirit and ability to think beyond next week, Margaery wasn't going to miss seeing whatever she had almost witnessed seconds earlier.

Margaery caught a flash of red gold out of the corner of her eye and redirected her gaze back to where it should be, on Sansa's proper stage debut rather than a loving moment between Brienne and her boyfriend. 

Sansa was standing centre stage, conversing beautifully with the other female lead when the oldest Lannister decided she'd had enough standing in the background. It was as subtle as Cersei got, a slight nudge with her swinging hips as she deliberately chose to walk through the small gap between the two younger girls on stage. Margaery could hear the shocked intake of breath ripple across the half full auditorium as the small darker haired girl stumbled but Sansa took the brink of the tap. The redhead wobbled two quick steps to her right, desperately trying to regain her usually perfect balance. Her grace failed her and Margaery watched, as if in slow motion, as her friend hit the ground. Sansa, ever the professional, actually managed to turn the fall into a swoon at the last second and was dutifully picked up and carried behind the scenes by a huge guard with a hideously scarred face. 

"She did not just do that!" surprisingly it was Jaime who spoke first, remaining in his seat as the two girls jumped up almost in unison. Margaery felt Robb's shaking hand at her hip, half an encouragement to go and take out the pretty blonde, the other half an urging to sit back down. Brienne put her own large hand on the brunette girl's shoulder and the pair sunk back down, both quivering with barely concealed anger.

"I'm sorry", Brienne whispered, "That was my fault, I think I wound her up before."

"Don't you say that! Cersei Lannister has been a brat for as long as I've known her and that stunt just proves it", Margaery could hear her voice getting louder, the students and parents around her starting to listen in, but she found she couldn't care.

"How long does it have left?"

Margaery thought back to all the times she ran lines with Sansa, "Ten minutes maybe but I'm not sure with San being taken off. Maybe five."

"Where's Arya?" Brienne asked her next question quietly, glancing around and Margaery knew there wasn't a single person alive who shouldn't be scared of little Arya Stark when she was on the warpath.

"She's coming later in the week, thank god", the brunette breathed easy for a second, "Oh shit, Catelyn's here somewhere though."

Jaime laughed darkly, obviously having been listening intently, "My father's going to love hearing about this."

Margaery felt another Stark's grip tighten on her forearm and she guessed it was likely her pale skin may be slightly bruised tomorrow from the pressure. "Go and get her", Robb pleaded, "Make sure she's ok."

The girls didn't need a second invitation to leave, scrambling over Jaime and the smattering of further audience members in their row to rush out of the auditorium. Though before she left Margaery clearly heard the word 'pub' being thrown around by the two men. She shook her head ruefully, deciding to bore a hungover Robb tomorrow with every single tiny detail.

                                                                                                 ***********

"You took a hell of a hit little bird", Sansa barely registered the words as the huge man set her down on her feet backstage. 

"Cersei", she replied, managing to keep all but one of the tears behind her eyelashes.

"Aye, I saw her. Fucking nasty piece of work."

"Sansa!"

She turned and was nearly knocked off her feet again by the power of both Margaery and Brienne rushing towards her. The redhead spun to thank the actor who'd helped cover up her fall but he had disappeared back into the fray. 

"Are you sure you're ok?" Brienne asked, concern colouring her face and turning each one of her freckles into periods at the bottom of a hundred question marks.

"Do you want us to smack her for you?" Margaery on the other hand looked about ready to storm the stage.

"You need to get back on as soon as you can, don't let her mean that you miss your bow."

"You've been amazing sweetie."

Sansa tried to keep up with her friends questions and encouraging statements, moving her head as if at a tennis match. The redhead scrubbed at her face, removing each spot of salty evidence carefully.

"I haven't smudged any of my make up have I?" She asked, not really wanting to talk about what just happened should it push more pain and frustration out of her eyes.

"Not enough that anyone would notice", Margaery confirmed, "Go show them what you're made of."

Sansa took quick hugs of her friends, one deep breath and headed back out under the blinding lights.

 

It was after the bows, after the Tyrell boys had given her the biggest bunch of orange roses she'd ever seen and after she had hugged her mother that Sansa allowed herself to cry. And once she started, she found she couldn't stop all that easily.

"We're going to get that bitch back for this", Margaery promised, patting her shoulder as she hugged the sobbing girl, "Even if it takes forever we are going to do something."

Brienne carefully nodded in agreement, her mouth set in a firm line.

A light went on in Sansa's head as she looked at Brienne and the tears dried up instantaneously, "When exactly did you get back?"

"About eighty minutes before the play started", the blonde girl confirmed.

"I'm surprised they made it back in time", Margaery shot Sansa a look as she broke the hug, a look that screamed there was more interesting information to follow. "Tarth it seems is a bit of a hidden paradise, though our dear innocent friend may have spent more time in bed than her current state of health would have you believe."

Margaery was playing with her words, smiling at both of her roommates in turn as one blushed and the other began to feel the welcome rush of happiness fill her up better than the best chocolate cake she'd ever had. Sansa heard the squeal before she realised she'd let it out, "True love is a wonderful thing."

"I'm not sure it's...", Brienne started but Sansa held up a hand to stop her mid sentence.

"It is. You're soul mates", the smile produced by even the idea of perfection wiped the earlier mishap out of her mind, leaving only her shining face as a reminder of the final act disaster. "You know you've got to tell us everything."

"Not everything please", Margaery begged as she laughed, "But I'm happy if you're happy."

"Of course she's happy", Sansa told her roommates with a bounce in her step, linking her arm with Brienne's as if they were eleven years old on a school yard. "You are happy aren't you?"

"It's not perfect Sansa, life isn't perfect", Brienne was dodging the question and the redheaded girl did not like it one bit.

Sansa let her face drop, "But you're so good together."

"That's not what I meant. I just mean...", she took a huge audible breath, "Jaime needs to make up three classes before the fall semester. I may need your help persuading his professors to allow him to re-take the assessments if you don't mind", Brienne hadn't taken a single breath throughout her plea, looking quickly between her roommates.

"Well Baelish will never let him get away with that. He dismissed one girl for turning up to class five minutes late one day", Margaery scrunched up her face, showing her distinct lack of positive feelings towards the professor.

Brienne blinked slowly, clearly now tiring after her very long day, "Do you think Catelyn will?"

"Hell is more likely to freeze over."

"Well", Sansa laughed, taking on her dad's gruff Northern accent, "Winter is coming."

                                                                                             ************

Brienne stood on the doorstep of Tyrion and Jaime's house the next morning, ringing the bell for a third time. She had woken up quite a bit earlier but realised that neither of them probably were in a state to see her at that time. From Jaime's garbled text messages in the small hours of the morning she wondered just how much Robb and him had drank and if they had left anything else for the other patrons in the campus pub. Though despite his obviously inebriated state the messages had actually been quite sweet, terribly flirty, but a welcome sweetness nevertheless. Brienne couldn't flirt properly, she never had the inclination to learn, so every message was met with a firmly worded knock back. She had at least told Jaime she loved him before turning her phone off, not really falling asleep until both Margaery and Sansa had become too tired to continue talking.

His last message had been even more of a nonsense than usual, only three words: _Sapphires. Love. Forever._  Whatever that had meant, Brienne wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know.

"You do know what time it is?" Tyrion grumbled as he opened the door, a bear with a sore head as he looked up and up at Brienne towering over him.

"I'm sorry", she whispered, rapidly back tracking in her head to confirm that it was indeed almost lunchtime.

"He's still asleep but you're welcome to come in", Tyrion stepped to the side and opened up his arm to indicate she should step inside. "Or you could go and wake him up, I'm sure he wouldn't mind", the small man's grin was a wicked thing as she glared and blushed down at him.

"He can sleep", she replied firmly.

"Coffee?" Tyrion asked as he waddled past her, still a little unsteady on his feet from the night before. "The kitchen's in the... oh I forgot you've been here before."

Her birthday. Her first real kiss. Brienne coloured a little deeper under Tyrion's now probing gaze.

"Don't you have staff?" she asked, searching and settling on what hopefully was an inconspicuous question.

"Only a maid a couple of days a week. We do have the ability to look after ourselves."

"And not drink yourselves into stupidity every weekend?"

Tyrion smiled, genuine this time with no hint of teasing wickedness left, "You wound me my lady. I am actually an incredibly clever drunk."

She considered that as she took in the kitchen that looked like a tornado had swept in during the night but somehow had left the house standing around the disaster area. "I'm guessing this wasn't you then? Do you have ghost-mice?"

"Ghost-mice?" he questioned and Brienne shook away the surprise inside joke.

"No", Tyrion continued with a confused look that appeared to add to the pain in his head, "This was Jaime. It appears him and Robb Stark may have bonded last night. He came in somewhere around three am roaring", Tyrion slammed his hands down on the solid oak kitchen table as loud as he could handle and yelled, "SAPPHIRES! You wouldn't happen to know anything about that?"

Brienne shook her head again, feeling her hair rustle around her ears, the slight noise quietening the nervous tick of her heartbeat.

"Shame", Tyrion muttered, barely audible. "Help yourself to lunch if you want to wait for Jaime, he shouldn't be too much longer and may need a little nursing."

"I think I should really be going. Can you tell him I called around?" 

Tyrion nodded as he led her back out the house, "I'm told you met our Aunt yesterday."

"She's just as scary as the rest of you", Brienne confessed as she stepped back outside.

Tyrion considered her statement carefully, "I don't think that's true, she's strong and ambitious. Scary shouldn't really have a look in, besides I would have thought you'd have liked her."

"I did, I think", Brienne ignored the similarity to his step-sisters emphasis that the blonde should be referred to as a special individual. That she, of all people, would like Genna Lannister-Frey.

"Well she likes you", he paused letting that sink in, "And she's a good ally to have should you ever need one."

He waved his goodbyes as he shut the door, leaving Brienne with a lot to think over on her drive to the pool.

                                                                                      ************

"I never realised how truly stunning her eyes are brother", Tyrion greeted Jaime as the older man made his way slowly downstairs, eventually collapsing on a chair in the kitchen, looking like he completely regretted the previous night.

"Huh?" he grunted in reply, eyes opening and closing as the midday sun glared obnoxiously through the large kitchen windows.

"Sapphires, Jaime. That's what you were shouting about last night."

"Aunt Genna....", Jaime groaned, closing his eyes again and not opening them again for several seconds, as if the sun would have miraculously disappeared by the time he looked again. The night before was coming back to him in sections and there had been a lot of alcohol involved, though he may now be drinking buddies with Robb Stark. The idea sent a whisper of a smile to his face, Lannister's and Stark's could be team mates perhaps, colleagues but never friends. His father would hate it and that made Jaime smile even more. 

"She didn't?" Tyrion questioned and Jaime's brain couldn't quite follow. His first thought was Brienne, but he was almost sure that wasn't what they'd been talking about. He could almost sense that she'd been in his house that morning and even if she hadn't he wished she was there now. 

"Aunt Genna didn't?" His brother reiterated and Jaime found a few seconds of thinking power to continue.

"She tried."

"Did you take it?" Tyrion asked, the younger man strangely unsurprised by the turn of events, "I don't think the intended recipient would take too kindly to that."

 _Brienne_ , Jaime thought again, this time correctly, his Aunt's insinuations flowing back to his detoxing body. "She would probably kill me for even the suggestion."

"And you still considered it?" Tyrion laughed, "You've got it bad brother."

Jaime held his throbbing head in his hands, hair falling into his eyes, "You don't have to tell me that."

His brother smirked, holding up a mug of coffee in salute, "Long may it continue."

                                                                                      *********

In the end Tyrion had been the one to make sure Jaime had attended his academic meeting, Brienne being called in for a tutorial class first thing Monday morning. Though as the clock had struck ten, she had decided as soon as Goodwin had finished mumbling on about templar knights to at least try and see if she could sit outside Tywin Lannister's office and wait for Jaime.

The receptionist had been surprisingly nice, and as soon as Brienne had introduced herself as the younger Lannister's girlfriend, the word almost sticking in her throat like honey, she had been allowed to sit in one of the leather chairs dotted along the reception walls.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Cersei sneered as she rounded the corner, catching sight of where Brienne was sitting from out in the hall. She looked like she'd been poured into the sleeveless green jersey dress she was wearing and Brienne, with all she now knew, couldn't help the tinge of panic and pity that settled deep inside her.

"I'm free all morning. Jaime needed support", she sounded far calmer than she felt under Cersei's death glare.

"And who decided that you are worthy to support him?" Cersei snapped bitterly, not even having enough respect to look at Brienne when she spoke to her. 

 _Because I don't knock over sweet giddy little things like Sansa Stark for fun,_ Brienne thought but she stayed silent.

"Why do you get what you want and I don't? You're not even... anything. You're an ugly brute of a woman and you don't deserve it."

"You mean I don't deserve Jaime", Brienne couldn't stop the words coming out, the anger at the fact that Cersei was yet another person who thought that people were possessions to be won and lost, traded and stolen, flowing out of her.

"I'm glad that message has gotten through to you. Finally."

"I wish..."

The door behind them banged before Cersei could freeze out a suitable reply and the man in question stepped out into the reception. If he was surprised by finding the two blonde girls sitting next to each other in the space, he had the good grace to cover it up.

"You should go home", he told Brienne, not stepping closer to one girl or the other, "This is probably going to take a little longer than expected."

"What makes you think I'm going to do that? I'm stubborn remember", her words were a whisper and he winked back at her to indicate he heard every one. Taking in his smartly dressed appearance and free right arm, Brienne almost jumped out of her seat in shock, "What happened to your arm?"

"My arm is fine", he replied firmly, "My hand is not. I can't keep strapping it up."

"Not unless your doctors tell you to", Brienne argued, forgetting or at least trying to ignore Cersei's smirk at their quarrelling behaviour.

"It's been months. Either it'll work or it won't. I'm taking a chance."

"Reckless", Brienne mouthed at him, out of his step sisters watchful eyes.

"Always", he mouthed back, finally a smile cutting through whatever worry Tywin was placing in his head. "Sorry I can't stay with you longer, but duty calls. Until tomorrow, wench."

"Wench?" Cersei squeaked, as the door banged signalling Jaime's return into hell, "Why in the name of ... oh that's what he calls you. I guess you're as big a whore as I've heard then." Cersei took one last look, clearly trying to figure out what her step brother and the giant girl in front of her had in common and left without saying another word.

Despite the slanderous tone of Cersei's parting statement, Brienne felt rather proud of herself, three days, three Lannisters and she hadn't stumbled over her words too badly, cried or resorted to violence. 

And she was really starting to look forward to fencing with Jaime again.

                                                                                          ***********

"You're late", Brienne was resting against the wall of the gym as Jaime entered, tapping the thrusting end of her held weapon against her boot in a steady, calming rhythm. For some reason he always forgot how she looked in the fencing whites, her demand for regulation uniform at every session aggravating to his bruised ego as he realised she was trying to protect him rather than herself.

"And good evening to you too", Jaime glanced at the huge clock on the wall, used for general intercollegiate team sports, and winced inwardly at the fact he was around twenty late to training. It wasn't a good start, though her homely face wasn't showing any signs of being pissed off with him as yet.

Jaime made to deliberately brush against her as he passed by to pick up the foil she had laid out for him, the tapping of her own weapon catching him on the calf as he ran the back of his hand across her thighs slower than needed in apology.

"I don't want any of that", she calmly told him, tapping again, the tone he had been expecting non existent in her businesslike manner.

"This isn't right", Jaime tested the weight of the weapon, balancing it across the palm of his hand. Before last fall they practiced with the heaviest blade in the sport, but Brienne had notified him that too much too soon would damage his weaker left side hence the flimsy excuse for a blade he was now holding. "I know you said foil but this feels even lighter than that."

"You're being ridiculous. You need to stop thinking you're Errol Flynn or something. The foil is exactly the weight it should be."

"Remind me why I can't have my normal épée blade?"

"Hold your arm up", Brienne demanded, pushing herself up off the wall, "With the foil, straight out from your shoulder."

She walked over to him, three long strides, and he did as he was asked with a confused look on his face. "Why?"

Brienne ran her hand over his shoulder and down his bicep, "You're strong here", she told him and he grinned up at her waiting for her to move closer. "But not here, not yet", her fingers gripped around Jaime's wrist, barely digging in and as she squeezed he dropped the weapon.

"How the hell did you do that?" Jaime asked, covering his frustration at his weakness by reaching down to pick up the foil.

"You've got to build up your fine motor skills", she shrugged as he cocked an inquisitive eyebrow, "I read up on it."

"Well you're hotter than my physiotherapist", he quipped, closing the gap between them and tilting his head up to kiss her.

She stepped away, "Not here, now concentrate please."

"Are you like this with the children?" he questioned, slightly disappointed that after nearly three days apart Brienne still wasn't going to let him near her.

"The children don't try and make out with me. Thankfully", she paused for a second and he saw the smile send a wave through her eyes, "You can. Later."

He clutched at the hilt, testing his grip and found she was once again correct, he would need a lot of evenings like this before he was back up to full fitness. He presented his blade to Brienne, waiting for her to come close enough to engage in his planned attack, "En guard."

She came at him, slower than he remembered her moving and easily defended his sloppy attempt. Their blades kissed, the sound soft to Jaime's ears, and though the vibrations almost made him fumble and release his grip the feeling of doing this all again made his blood sing. He knew that there were few things in life that compared to the rush that was currently being provided.

"Damn wench", he yelled, frustration beginning to take a hold as she flicked the point of her weapon towards him and he found the lazy motion far too simple to parry, his footwork still exemplary, "Why aren't you moving faster?"

"Can you handle me faster?" she asked, leaping forward before he had a chance to respond. One of the few times she ever could be called graceful was when she had a weapon in her hand, and her movements caused her to almost dance towards him. He followed her easily, mirroring each step, back and forth, though each time the foils connected it didn't feel quite right to him. His right hand, still bound under layers of gauze and padding, twitched and he knew if he wasn't damaged, wasn't crippled, she would be putting a lot more effort into this.

Jaime attacked aggressively as she stepped back, letting him breathe for a second, the blades smacking into each other harder than he expected. Brienne's response to the hit was to fall back into competition mode, counter-attacking like a champion, the blows falling down on him from all angles. He couldn't quite defend effectively against such a structured attack, the cuts and flicks as jarring as they should be, her strength and recent training evident as she began to push him back. Brienne had him half way across the gym before he realised it, his fingers aching as he unintentionally let go of the foil.

Jaime looked down at the proof of his defeat, "I can't do this."

"Funny, I never took you as a quitter."

He looked up and glared at her, meeting her ridiculously kind eyes, Brienne clearly stuck in teacher mode. "Don't pity me", he snapped.

"Fine. I don't have to help you. But, you can do this", she turned away from him and strode across the gym to re-pack her bag.

"How?" Jaime bent down to pick up the foil again and pointed it at her back.

"You need to slow down. How long did it take you to get good originally?"

He thought about all the session hours he'd put in and all the opponents he'd fought against, "Years."

"And you really think you're going to be that good again after less than an hour?"

She had a point, unfortunately. Jaime felt himself ever so slightly backing off from his risen anger and bubbling blood. "Can we try again?"

The second time was better, the remembrance of their old routines starting to flow through his muscles. By the time they'd call the bout a draw, Jaime managing to almost get close enough to put in a hit and Brienne drawing a line with her foil over his chest in response, his hand was cramping, sweat running down the back of his neck and his muscles would probably ache tomorrow but everything felt just right. It reminded him of some other things that had also been better the second time around.

"How often are we going to be here, trying to do this?" he asked feeling thoroughly exhausted, brushing sweat soaked hair out of his face.

"Tuesday. Thursday. Sunday", she replied, Jaime hating the fact that she barely sounded out of breath, "I've cleared it all with Selmy. As you get better we may be able to practice even more."

Jaime found that in his current state he didn't actually want to fight with her anymore, at least not in that moment.

                                                                                       **********

"Can I kiss you now?", Jaime dropped the foil with yet another clang, bringing his tired fingers into a fist and flexing them, repeating the action over and over again. There was a moment of unmasked pain across his face, she noticed his flinch, the flow of blood slowly returning to the extremity after too long in the forced position. His eyes met hers as he cocked his head, lush green forests crying out for the sweet kiss of summer rain, and her knees almost gave out at the sudden rush of pure need that headed to her belly. Muscles that hadn't fatigued from their bout now screamed for oxygen, her blood ignoring the necessity to feed her primal desire. 

She nodded once, desperate to appear composed as her chest rose and fell quicker with each passing second, the coiled lust moving along her skin, prickling beneath each follicle to cause her fair hair to stand on end even under the restrictive uniform. Every step he took was a never ending eternity for her pounding heart, her entire being ready for the building tension to snap like the need for the rumble of thunder before an approaching storm.

He coursed towards her, leonine again, all fierce pride and liquid strength. The look on his face promising the world as he glided to her across the open space, coming close enough that she could see each drop of sweat beading in the dark-light-dark golden muss of his hair. 

If there was any embarrassment now there was no flush rising to her neck or face, the heat being re-directed so powerfully that she felt her head spin. 

"May I?" Jaime asked, no loss of breath in his voice, as his hand ghosted across her breast to the zip of the jacket. _They needn't have bothered with the uniforms_ , Brienne thought, he hadn't found anywhere near the power or grace to come close enough to strike her but she always liked the formality.

She fell back a step, feeling for the cool breeze blocks of the wall behind her, and Jaime took that as permission his touch a soothing burn as he stripped off the the layer of purity. She thought her skin would blister as he grazed ragged nails and pillowy soft fingers across the exposed surface, each touch both a caress and a cut.

Her knees were all but useless by the time he wrapped his arms around her, melted like candle wax in direct heat, finding the strength to hold them both up though moments earlier he had been pushed to the point of exhaustion. As his lips fell to follow his touches she wanted more, so much more, the power of that thought overruling the part of her brain that was trying to call out to stop.

Her own hands fumbled with his zip, the opening catching and locking shut as she yanked down. Jaime chuckled at her impatience, open mouthed against a cluster of freckles at her shoulder, tasting the salt surface as if everything was brand new again. She allowed her hands to roam instead, grazing and grabbing at everything that had been given to her, every promise spoken and yet unspoken at the same time culminating back at the same thing.

When she finally pulled him up, a second before the lust fuzzed up the edges of her vision, his kisses were curiously gentle, a hundred touches searching, longing for the warmth hiding behind her lips. 

"We should end every training session like this", she sighed as too soon he moved back to look at her, a swollen berry lipped Venus no where near satisfied by his half touches and unusually quiet fingers.

Jaime shook his head catching his lower lip briefly with his teeth, sending her into another spin, dehydration and his choice of actions doing crazy things to her yet again, "We should start and end every day like this."

Her whispering moan of a reply was almost lost as he moved to her once more. "Please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you still with me?  
> Feedback please if you've got a minute :)


	25. Twenty Five: Where there is a desire there is going to be a flame (where there is a flame someone's bound to get burnt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All couples fight, Jaime and Brienne do it a little differently and they've both got more than enough issues that need airing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ... Butterflies is back after a mini hiatus of three and a half weeks. I've just got to say a huge thank you to everyone who has left encouraging comments throughout this, to the people who contacted me over at J/B online, Redruin, MhysaMhysa, Yuuko, SerSnuffles and especially to Rellie (who has kindly let me bounce ideas off her) and to RoseHeart (who has read all my little edits with this and has encouraged me to keep writing even on the days I thought nothing was going right!)
> 
> Title is a lyric in Try by P!nk
> 
> So without further ado, here it is

Brienne slammed the front door behind her with so much force that it bounced off the frame and flew straight back, catching it one handed she felt her strength reverberate through her wrist and up to the shoulder that already ached from earlier activities, and threw the pain away for the house to have and hold. It couldn’t be a worse place to store it then in her head or heart.

She had been counting all the mistakes she hadn't realised she'd been making until it was far too late as she drove home. The gloom of misty light drizzle following her the whole way, the mocking October evening hiding in late April reflecting a few of the emotions she couldn’t help but feel, and by the time her key opened her no longer quiet, safe space the number was so high she hadn't wanted to continue.

Though she felt as frustrated, disappointed and embarrassed as ever there wasn't even a single tear threatening in her eyes as she caught a distorted glance of herself in the mirror Sansa had fought tooth and nail to hang in the hallway. Angry spots of colour burnt high on her cheekbones, scarlet red rather than familiar pink but it made sense, guilty by association she was more Lannister than anything else now, an infection that had clouded her mind with endorphins and had eventually even turned even her own skin against her.

The clarity in her eyes was still her own though, burning with a realisation that had been lost in the temporary island paradise her home had granted. A place where she had spent far too much time pretending that back in reality her and Jaime wouldn't have any of the same issues they’d had before. Brienne felt like that isolation had gnawed at their bond, their friendship, making it weaker rather than stronger on certain issues and certainly less resilient to outsiders, and tonight had pushed it to a point where she thought it had been about to break.

Margaery hovered in the doorway, a whirlwind of fury and disappointment, taking in the slight discolouration at the top of Brienne's arm. The colours would likely show up tomorrow in a vivid display of yellow and green. Her skin was a painting showing every single blow he had managed to land when she’d been exposed to him, though the worse ones were her own rattling around in her head.

Her friend couldn’t see that torture, but still calmly exploded as Brienne had expected she would.

"What the hell did that stupid prick do to you?"

Margaery would never understand that Jaime had gone home with just as many, if not more wounds.

That Brienne had made sure, even in her oncoming grief, to show just how good she had become with a blade in her hand and fury in her heart.

And that the fault in this had to be shared.

                                                                                              ***********

It had been coming for a while, bubbling under the surface like the tremors before an earthquake, the feeling of being possessed, being owned, being claimed like she was less of a person she had worked so hard to become. Coming back from Tarth had been a wrench, more so than leaving behind Kings for the week, and Jaime hadn’t let her settle back into her normal routine after what they had shared. His head was still elsewhere, which wouldn’t have been as big an issue if he hadn’t always wanting to be so close, and hers was firmly back in the present. This life wasn’t a holiday, he couldn’t spend days in bed with her for no apparent reason and his need began to grate as if her very life force was being slowly stolen away.

The training sessions had become the worst moments though, at first she’d enjoyed the fire to lust conversion but now it felt like one of the things she adored was being overruled by things he wanted, things that should stay behind a closed door where others wouldn’t be able to hear or see, emotions converting until it was all one big mess in her head. He said he loved her but others had said that too and his want was more powerful than any words he could have placated her with, even now scaring her into thinking that maybe this was all he wanted in the first place.

So half a dozen times in, when the gym wall had been like ice at her back as her skin was set alight with every slight movement of Jaime’s hands, still an odd sensation to have the both of them roam even if one remained in plaster and bandages, the contrast left her violently shivering as her body fought back against the onslaught.

It became too much, leaving her feeling useless and tingling all over as his fever transferred and burned straight through, leaving her feeling like her sense of self was slipping away as Jaime once again overwhelmed her with sensations she still didn’t know if she could quite trust.

Not in this place anyway, not when there was still too much to do if he had been truthful about wanting the sessions. The idea sunk its teeth in, setting off all the little dark thoughts that had finally started to begin to be smothered on Tarth, doubt bubbling through every pore asking why she had practically given herself away for the childish promise of a forever that may never come about. He’d promised that to another once before and though she knew she was no Cersei, maybe this could end just as easily as it had done with her.

The blonde had become the voice of doubt in her head, due in part to countless run ins with her in Tywin Lannister’s office, whispering that once Jaime was bored he would leave, and Brienne had seen how easily he was distracted. She would never be pretty or smart or confident enough to keep his attention for long.

So as Jaime pulled and pushed, kissed and growled, she tried not to match him passively sigh for sigh, until something in her head snapped and Brienne found she just had to push back.

She didn't know what broke her, maybe it was hearing her unconscious murmur or the dark self satisfied laugh that followed, the wench that slipped and echoed reminding her of a time when the only thing between them had been hate and mistrust, but whatever the catalyst was the end result had been the same.

Jaime looking at her in surprise from the floor, a quarter of the way to the other side of the room, and the light blade back in her hand.

Brienne knew she was exposed, too much skin on show for him to hit after she’d stupidly removed her jacket, should he even be able to muster up the strength as sweat shone across his face and the slow halting breaths he took weren't only because of the desire to claim her again.

"Isn't this unconventional", Jaime studied her carefully as she felt a fire burn in her belly, one that could only be extinguished by stopping this charade she felt they were currently playing. Their holiday from reality should had ended the second she had locked her fathers house and if he thought that she would come every time he called then he could take his stupid pretty face and find another girl, one who would know how to act in front of his ridiculous family or wouldn't tower over him in anything higher than sneakers.

He was poised, though weak, and Brienne thought she could be strong enough to throw him off guard and would care later about what this would mean for his romantic fantasies. Fantasies that were hurting her to think about, things she wanted but not on the terms currently being offered. Maybe a girl like her was never really meant to survive as a couple.

"I thought you liked unconventional", she murmured back, her face blurring in her head with that of another he had loved, waiting as Jaime retrieved his weapon from where he had dropped it before he had almost fallen over himself in the haste to get to her. She still had enough fairness in her to not want to fight an unarmed man, even if said unarmed man had been more than annoying her for days. If she had been seeing through a clearer head she would have pitied herself for falling under the spell that begun in his eyes, something that had always spoken of more than his words ever could.

She couldn’t put the doubt back into the box in her head and if she fought, he would match every blow for as long as possible.

Maybe that’s what she really needed right now.

                                                                                           ***********

Their blades met, no longer a glancing kiss of practice but a tap that spoke of all the frustration Jaime hadn't realised she'd been hiding, not quite ready to voice it until now.

"Is this what you want then?" he followed her carefully with his eyes, matching her step by step as she tried to force him back and even though his underused hand screamed with the strain of exertion, he wasn't giving her an inch.

Brienne hadn't responded to his mocking question, though whether it was because she had too many or too few words Jaime could not be certain. Her eyes told him all that he would need to know, fighting with a handful of darker emotions he hadn't known her capable of.

"Stop assuming you know what I want. Stop pushing. Stop talking." Her words were as precise as her movements, cutting at the very idea of him as she gained ground.

“Stop hiding. Stop holding back.” He snapped back as he brought up his weapon to meet hers, she seemed to have forgotten he was getting better with each scrap. He had been dying to get her to match him at full strength without the pity she probably didn’t even know injured him almost more than anything.

Though she was still stronger, and it pained Jaime to have to admit that, he was in better control of the situation, so when she finally moved within touching distance he used his all but useless right arm to shove Brienne back.

She hit the wall with more force than he had intended, the crack of her shoulder against the solid surface ringing out in their shared space. He justified that she’d had worse, contact sports had marred her skin with their hard embrace before and he knew she would be on her feet in seconds.

Brienne shot him a look that he could only see as pitying, bouncing back like the pro she was, a look that screamed that he wasn’t strong enough to meet her fairly in this arena and maybe he never would be.

“If you pity me so much then why don’t you call the Lieutenant? He seemed to want to warm your bed. Maybe its better that you do it now rather than later.” He sounded bitter and it didn’t do anything to remove the cruel pity in her huge eyes.

“The only pity in here is coming from you, do you think I would have spent hours in the hospital if that had been the case. Hunt … he’s …”

“He’s what?” Jaime pressed for an answer, pressed to get her to tell him everything she’d been storing away, some days he could read her like a book and other days it was like this. She could shut herself away better than he could, stone over china.

“He’s a dick.” It was about as blunt as she could get, but at least she was telling the truth.

“Not good enough for you either is he?” he waved his right arm at her, a reminder of why they were currently standing opposite each other. “We’re all a little damaged, wench, and you can’t handle that. You’re like a child wanting something perfect. Did it ever occur to you that you’re a little damaged too?”

She had her foil back in her hand, thrusting forward again and he moved to parry as she argued back, “You’re not going to be damaged forever. You’ll be perfect again and I’ll …”

“Is that your problem? You don’t think you’re perfect? Who gives a shit about that? I certainly don’t.” He furrowed his brows together as she flicked the foil at him and his distraction let her catch the spot right over his heart, a perfect hit if she had been in competition. The way she looked didn’t matter and it never would, not to him, in this space they were perfect.

“You don’t care about anything. I still do.” She was relentless, reining blows down and he tried to push back but her exasperation with him, with them, was fuelling her forward each time.

“About what? Protecting yourself? You don’t need any help in that area believe me.” Each word was a blow and he felt himself tiring slightly.

“I need to when people are still trying to hurt me.” She parried back quickly and he nearly dropped his weapon. He was getting better but two weeks were still only two weeks and he almost couldn’t keep up.

“Who’s trying to hurt you Brienne?” It came out a little more tenderly than he expected and that managed to hurt her even more than the shoulder charge.

“You. You left.”

“I came back; get out of your head. I’m not running away from you.” Both his hands twitched as Brienne landed another hit, the side of her foil grazing across his shoulder and Jaime didn’t know if the sting he felt was more from the physical blow or the mental act behind it. He felt the pain start to run up his left arm, tomorrow he’d be lucky if he could close his fist but still he didn’t give up.

“Cersei.” The name was a choked sound in the tall girl’s throat and he instantly wanted to slap his step sister for whatever niggles she had been placing in Brienne’s head leading to breed with her deep rooted insecurities.

“You are nothing like Cersei. Two weeks back here and it’s like its two years ago, you need to stop. Stop living in your head, you’re here, I’m here. Whatever’s going on in there isn’t going on out here. If you want to hit me, hit me but don’t think it’s going to solve anything.” He stepped forward, goading her into another attack, forcing her to defend as he tapped and struck at her exposed shoulder and arm, adding reddening freckles to the tan ones already there. It was true, at least in part; the pretty blonde would never have let him mark her skin the way he had done with Brienne, vanilla scented freckles leading to undignified giggles like ringing bells in his head. His step sister would have never made him want to wait for anything.

“You loved her. You left her.” It sounded like an accusation and he thought they had already gotten past this.

“I fucked her.” It was about as blunt as he could come up with, of course he had loved her but he didn’t want to acknowledge that he still hadn’t told Brienne how exactly they had ended. Cersei had found someone better, someone who could help forward her plans.

“Are you going to be saying the same thing about me in a few years? That I was just someone to screw when you were bored?”

“The only way that would be a possibility is if you actually let me screw you again.” He danced around her and she almost looked like she was going to cry, he’d hit a nerve and she had nothing to give him in return.

“Is that all you’ve got? You look at me like I’m pathetic and you can’t even fight back.” She waved at him but her fire was leaving her almost as quickly as it had burst into life.

“You’re not fighting fair.” It was a whine, a complaint, a little girl’s response and he hated it.

“When I have ever? The first time we were here you called me a cheat.”

“Maybe that should have been the last time then.”

 _No_ , Jaime thought, if that had been true then none of what would have followed could have affected him. He’d seen what he wanted now and it wasn’t that, wasn’t just going to abandon this promise. Unless of course Brienne discovered that a one handed man was less than she somehow deserved, and that wouldn’t have been the first time that particular thought had entered his head. She thought he would get better but he knew he wouldn’t, it had been too long and the nothingness had started to take a firm hold of his once healthy flesh.

She took his silence as something else and came at him again, “I can’t be that girl.”

“You don’t know who you are yet.”

                                                                                     ***********

Brienne knew that Margaery didn't give out a lot of sympathy, that part of her personality was normally reserved for the other girl they shared a house with. So when she handed the tall blonde the first aid kit and a glass of water Brienne recognised that she was in trouble.

"There's a reason why they leave romantic comedies where they do you know", her friend taking on the role as the voice of reason once again as she surveyed the damage, "It's because no one wants to see the next part where people fight and bitch and hurt each other."

Brienne tried to stop her, but Margaery was on a roll and whatever she must have been holding onto for a long time was now all rising to the surface.

"Jaime's always been a thoughtless, reckless piece of shit. You could notice it even when we were all kids, he's self destructive and possessive and probably a hundred other things I haven't seen and is always going to be the guy who stabs you in the back when you're not looking."

Aerys. It would always come back to the Targaryen star.

“That was a long time ago.” Brienne couldn’t believe she was still defending him, though as a friend he had never made her cry, not once, not on purpose, that unique joy had only started since the sex.

Margaery raised an eyebrow, pressing her soft fingertips as gently as she could into the throbbing pain at Brienne’s shoulder, “This isn’t a long time ago.”

The blonde girl attempted a joke through the pain, almost a Jaime reflex she realised, as if he was still there with her. “You don’t see me after sessions with the kids.”

“The kids aren’t trying to kill you.” Margaery, much like Sansa, sometimes had a flair for the dramatic.

“He wasn’t trying to kill me.” Whatever Jaime had been doing may have hurt like hell, but she didn’t think he was really that way inclined. “Besides, have you met Arya Stark?”

                                                                                              ***********

Jaime knew Brienne was getting close to the point of exhaustion, he could see it in her face, in her eyes that were looking sadder and sadder by the second. She’d burnt through all her frustration and maybe now they could actually get down to the reason why she had pushed him away in the first place.

“I know who I am. I just don’t know who I am with you.”

There it was, eight words that must have been digging and whispering and hurting while he kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

As if the words had drained her, the foil fell to her side, emotionally exhausted the way he was physically exhausted, the muscles in his arm, hand and shoulder clenched and burned.

“You think you’ve changed?” There was little fatigue in his mind and right now it seemed that he would be able to meet her verbal barbs far quicker than the physical ones. “I think you’ll find you’re still the same gigantic, pig-headed ugly girl I met in this very gym.”

“And today you’re the same cruel, spoilt boy I beat.” Her eyes watered but she blinked hard and Tarth’s sapphire ocean remained behind eyelash floodgates.

“That was a draw, Brienne. Much like today.” He prompted, not really having the clarity of mind in that moment to tell her that friend or more, he would take one gigantic, pig-headed ugly girl any day of the week over so may others.

It was as if she hadn’t noticed any of the hits before then. All along one arm where Jaime had seen the advantage of his left hand status and under his scrutiny Brienne winced, pain of a different kind flooding into her.

“We’re done.” She told him firmly and he didn’t know if she meant for tonight or for good. “I’m sure your brother will pleased to have you back.”

“Brienne?” He dropped his own weapon, letting in be the only sound in the descending silence, no fight left in either of them anymore.

“Jaime.” She matched his tone, “Don’t”.

So, for once, he didn’t.

                                                                                       ************

Sansa came home to a war zone, or that’s what it felt like when she took in an emotionally armoured up Brienne sitting on the sofa with an ice pack in her hand and Margaery standing over her like the angriest version of any kind of nurse she had ever seen.

“Can I not ..?” Sansa asked as she sent Brienne a small wave from the hallway.

“She’s fine.” Margaery insisted, closing the door to the front room behind her.

“She’s not.” Sansa argued back, pulling herself to tower over her oldest friend, reading into the emotions of what had happened rather just a handful of bruises.

“Jaime hurt her. He did before and he’ll do it again.” The brunette was standing her ground just about as firmly as Sansa had seen her ever do.

“Have you seen him? I bet he looks like utter hell, when have you known Brienne not to give as good as she got?”

“Still …”, Margaery was not one to easily step down from protecting someone she loved.

“Maybe it’s time to stop wanting to get involved and let them sort this out themselves.” Sansa let out a breath as she said it, forcing herself to face what she should have done a while back. “You know Brienne comes home with about fifty million bruises every week. God, this house alone bruises us all more than what I could see on her arm. It’s not about that.”

“When did you get so wise?” Her friend was suspicious, narrowing her eyes as if that could better see through Sansa’s strategy.

“Right about the time I realised that we’re doing more damage than good. I can’t look at Brienne without my heart breaking.”

“You don’t want to be involved anymore, that’s fine but there’s no way you’re not going to be by my side putting her back together every time he decides to shatter her. She deserves better.”

Sansa thought about it, knowing how much one of the other Lannister siblings had affected her personally over the last few years. “Maybe you can’t see past what he was, people do grow up.”

She paused, thinking about every real life romance she had come across, however few in number that may be. “Maybe there’s a reason why we don’t choose who we fall in love with”

 

Behind the closed door, Brienne sat with the ice pack to her shoulder and her phone in her hand, listening to her friends almost argue out exactly what she was thinking. Her finger hovered over Jaime’s number, to return the voicemail message she already had, guilt now battling with everything else.

She should have stopped him before now. She should have spoken up earlier. She shouldn’t have fallen in love so hard.

 _Maybe tomorrow this would all be easier_ , Brienne thought, as she deleted the message.

                                                                                           ***********

“Do my eyes deceive me, or are you actually gracing me with your presence at breakfast?”

Jaime shot his brother a look, which he hoped screamed that he wasn’t in the mood for this particular type of sibling wit.

Tyrion held up his hands, “It is nice to have you here brother. Nobody else gets my jokes.”

“That’s because your jokes aren’t as good as you think they are.”

“But they’re twice as good as yours.”

Jaime nodded but his smile was forced, despite his brothers jovial mood.

“Am I permitted to ask what happened?” Tyrion gestured, circling Jaime’s general expression. “It wasn’t the Tyrell girl again was it?” He sounded like he was trying to control his laughter.

Jaime raised his eyebrows and started down his brother until his smile disappeared, not realising that it was a move Brienne had perfected on him some time ago.

“Ahhh, the beauty bites.”

“Don’t call her that.” Jaime growled, trying to hide his distaste around a glass he couldn’t quite grip properly. Last night’s bout had probably pushed him back weeks, if not months and now he didn’t even have a decent partner to catch him up.

“Brienne.” Tyrion reiterated slowly, “Doesn’t strike me as someone who would jump if she hadn’t been pushed first.”

“She jumped.” Jaime didn’t really want to talk, both hands now hurting in slow stabbing movements, indicative echoes of how it was inflicted on him. It didn’t really help him feel any less like a cripple than usual.

“So how hard did you push?”

Jaime stared into his glass, wishing it was just a little stronger to numb some of the physical pain away but didn’t justify his brother’s question with any kind of answer. If he could get the damn girl and her terribly hurt face out of his mind then maybe he could have thought of something witty to knock the enquiry successfully away.

“Phone?” Tyrion asked.

“No.”

“If she contacts you I’ll give it back but for now I’m going to prevent you from digging yourself any further into what I assume is already a pretty decent sized hole. Remember I know women …”

“Brienne isn’t one of your women.”

“No, but I bet she just as easily hurt, even under that tough skin. And because she isn’t here to tell you, I will. Go to class.” Tyrion paused, ”You have no idea how hard it is to be the smartest one in this family.”

Jaime did smile then and tried to joke back. “It doesn’t mean we love you any less.”

“You might not, but the others …”, his brother pulled a face, “The less said about them, the better.”

“So I guess we’re not going back to Casterly this summer then?”

Tyrion grimaced through his happier mood, eventually falling back to sarcasm. “That sounds like a brilliant idea Jaime. One of your best I’m sure. Now give me your phone.”

Jaime reluctantly handed over his phone, pretending not to notice Tyrion’s face as he invaded his privacy and checked just how many messages he’d sent in apology. He was quite proud of his restraint that it had only been the one.

“If I’m going to school, can you give me a lift?”

Tyrion nodded, pocketing the device. “I’m sure she’ll come around, brother, just give her some time.”

                                                                                              ***********  
                                                                                              ***********

It had been two days since the fight and Brienne had stuck by the promise to herself to give her and Jaime some space and time to figure out everything that had happened. He’d called again, a couple of times every night, and she didn’t quite have the heart to ring him back in case everything sunk back into petty name calling again.

So she had slipped back into her normal routine, which was all she had really wanted in the first place since the spring vacation week had ended. There wasn’t a class she had that semester that she actively disliked, training ‘her’ kids remained one of the best parts of her week, and when Catelyn had approached her that morning about giving Arya some more one-to-one sessions for the upcoming junior championships it just about made Brienne’s day.

She had been just about to pick up her coat on her way to the door when her friend called to her from the front room. Margaery had been a better guard then any member of royalty could have wished for, the girl seemed to have developed a sixth sense over the past couple of days and was determined in keeping both her and Sansa away from anything romantic.

“Where are you going to? Maybe I can come with you.” Margaery pointed at the television as Brienne allowed herself to look into the room, “This is terrible.”

“It’s Thursday, I’ve got fencing training with …”

“Jaime.” Her friend filled in for her. “I thought you’d decided that you two weren’t _you two_ anymore.”

Brienne paused, it was the third time that day she’d went to do something without thinking, other than the Arya Stark training, she had went to text him after she got a 97 on her class test after lunch and was half way through the message before she realised they weren’t talking.

There may be more than a small chance that she was actually missing the friendship part of their relationship. The rest of it she didn’t know yet if she wanted to salvage.

“I think I … we … I may have made a mistake.”

Margaery raised an eyebrow, scrunching her face delicately in displeasure.

“I think we need to talk.”

                                                                                                         **********

It hadn’t taken her that long to drive over to the house where the two Lannister men lived, though she wasn’t quite sure what she was going to say once she got there. At no point during the past couple of days had it dawned on her that being the one to step up and apologise was the stronger action, though if this was going to be a one way street she wasn’t planning on stopping for very long. The fight that started this hadn’t been after all.

At least the lights were on she noticed, battling against another offensive wave of doubt as she stood at the door. She had never realised before that it was as garishly scarlet as everything the Lannister’s had conquered.

The door swung open in front of Brienne even before she had plucked up the courage to bring attention to her arrival, and she shut her eyes closed as tight as she could before her words flew out. “Jaime, we need to talk … I’m sorry”

The silence that followed smarted, but the courage rose and her eyelids flickered open to look through the house, finding only Tyrion staring up at her. “That’s just what every man wants to here.”

She stared, the little man’s gaze flicking from concerned to amused and back again and it all just hurt.

“He’s not here.”

“Oh.” There had been some part of her that been expecting that. “I better just go then.”

“Brienne, he went to find you.” Tyrion looked like he was considering something further before he spoke again but whatever the small man had been thinking it only translated as nine words.

“You’re his best friend. He’s been miserable without you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets just hope it doesn't take me another three and a half weeks to update! :)


	26. Chapter Twenty Six: I don't know you're alright, but I hope you're ok (Because I'm tired of making mistakes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all you need is time and space to talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's been seven! weeks since I updated this. I must apologise for the delay, although I've been writing a lot this chapter just had me blocked completely. It has been an utter nightmare and I am very nervous about now posting it.
> 
> RoseHeart has been an utter saint with me during the past couple of months with ...Butterflies, and deserves every single bit of praise I can send her way. Thank you for not letting me give up.
> 
> To those of you who have been waiting for this I hope it doesn't disappoint. 
> 
> Chapter title is from My Dreams Are Haunted by We Are Fiction.

Brienne threw open the door of the gym, trusting her instincts were right and that Jaime would have come as usual to the very place where they had started their slow journey from foes to friends. She had spent the drive over with her heart in her mouth, butterflies in her belly, thinking over a hundred ways they could mend some of the holes created by heated things falling out of their mouths and smashing like rolls of thunder to the solid floor. Tyrion's words echoed, a gentle reminder that Brienne was in no place to throw away such a hard won friendship.

She knew that there would be no easy solution, no quick fix, but that seemed about right if they were going to move forward in any way. The cloud cover had finally begun to lift a little as she pulled into the empty parking lot, which wasn’t a great sign but it was likely it wouldn’t have done much for her mood if Jaime had actually driven there. His stupid sports car had finally disappeared from her drive during the night, and she did actually think to call Arya to check she hadn’t stolen it for a ride around campus. Though in the end she just let it go. If he really had that much money to throw away then Brienne found she couldn’t really spend excessive amounts of her time caring about things he didn’t.

There may have been one or two spots of rain as she made her way towards the building, feeling sicker than she did the day Jaime took her home. The weather had closed in after the fight, hanging uneasily over her for the past two days as if it could read the misery Tyrion had relayed about his brother. She hadn’t really been able to share in those types of feelings, she had a surprisingly extensive friendship group now and though she missed him in the moments where she forgot, waking up alone was little more than a return to normality almost like waking up after a dream. Though it became the strange quiet she really took notice, even when she was surrounded by her chattering cohort. 

“Great minds”, Jaime muttered as she hurried through the entrance, very little of the arrogance or rage on his face from the last time she saw him. He didn’t look particularly miserable either, just maybe a little surprised to find her back in full fencing whites when he was scruffy beautiful in street clothes. She wondered if he had expected her to actually show up tonight, even though this was their regularly scheduled time from way back.

“I …” he started, not bothering to move from his position holding up the wall by the unlocked equipment cupboard, but Brienne needed to get her own apology in the air and out of her head before he went any further. 

"Jaime, I'm sorry", she filled each syllable with as much as she could without spilling everything else, having never realised how much that kind of emotion could change the atmosphere of a room.

She saw the beginnings of a smile attempting to flicker its way through his assumed indifference, but despite the small movement of acknowledgement Jaime remained uncharacteristically quiet. He was watching her, just out of the corner of one eye, and Brienne knew he was waiting to catch her unawares, much like the predator she sometimes saw work around his façade of benevolence. 

Brienne let out the breath she'd been holding while waiting for his response, a hand reaching behind her to find leverage to allow a slow sliding movement all the way down to the floor. Jaime tipped his head to be able to continue passing his time considering her face, watching as she calmly crossed her legs as both of them waited for the terms to break the approaching stalemate.

Focusing on her breathing in order to prevent another moment arising in the sacred space that would have to be forgotten, the one-two count was unexpectedly soothing right up until the second Jaime couldn’t control his impulses any longer.

“After everything that’s happened”, she didn’t miss his gaze shifting down to the right, “Do you really think I’m going to leave without a second thought?”

Brienne wanted to add "again" but that wouldn’t be productive. She'd forgiven that moment of thoughtlessness, even if she hadn’t realised it remained a concern until it tumbled past her lips.

"No", she told the floor, the sound a croak in her throat as she was torn between wanting and not wanting to look across the room. "Yes. Maybe."

"Nice to know you've made a decision on that", Jaime laughed, affection mixing with something far darker.

Brienne ran a hand through her hair and tried to sum up her jumbled mess of feelings on the subject as best as she could. "I don't know. I mean it's not like you're ever going to really have a totally clean break from Cersei. She's ... family."

It still made her a little queasy to think of the prettier girl like that, but in Brienne's mind there was no escaping it. Not now, not ever. And however much Jaime could throw her away with vulgarity, Brienne was beginning to realise that there would always be a place in his heart reserved for his step-sister. And she could have continued to be uneasily alright with that considering all Jaime had shared with her had Cersei not taken every opportunity to undermine the relationship.

Maybe if she’d had a little more experience with anything she was getting deeper into with Jaime then it wouldn’t all feel like it could slip away with a nod or a smile from his almost sibling. Romantically Brienne knew he was done with her, but there were other things that didn’t need romance to come about.

It wasn't anywhere close to rational but neither had been falling in love with him in the first place.

"My family are a law unto themselves", Jaime agreed, a harsh truth she’d already realised through personal experience. "I can't say I'm going to miss their endless power plays."

"Don't do that", Brienne's response was instantaneous, bringing her brows together and an unwanted prickling behind her eyes, "Please don't do that. Don’t make me your entire world. Whatever we had can't survive that."

He scoffed at her hastily drawn conclusion, "I'm not going back to Casterly this summer remember? You made me sign up for all those classes.” Jaime paused, eventually catching up. "Wait, had?"

“Graduation, remember?”

“Had?” Jaime asked again, not allowing her to move past the slip.

"Had. Have", she twitched at the changing tenses, not knowing which one to settle on.

"You need time then", the words were monotone as if he was pulling from memory, rather than any emotion he was currently fighting with, and with it they were getting nowhere fast.

"No", Brienne uncrossed her legs and arms, opening herself up as she realised she didn't want any of this to end on a cliché, "I've had enough time to know I want my friend back. I've ... missed having you around.

"I've missed you too", he murmured so gently that she almost didn't catch it.

She lifted her head at the same time Jaime turned his body, leaning on his left shoulder to smirk down at her. "Although I'm pretty sure friends don't bring each other off with their mouths."

She blushed, feeling the heat rising off the top of her head as she remembered the strength of having his hand clutch in her hair. "We didn't always do that", Brienne reminded, "We used to ..."

"Go on completely platonic dates?" Jaime offered, half way down the path of being too amused with her modesty to be completely serious.

"Hang out", she corrected, stopping herself from counting things off on her fingers, each word strong and heartfelt. "Study, practice, talk.”

"I’m listening”, Jaime promised, the smirk appearing to fade into sincerity, "And I am sorry."

He joined her on the floor, for once not quite as poised as her equivalent move, and Brienne could almost feel the tension coming off him even as he stretched casually. He was worried, she realised suddenly, behind all the wisecracks and suggestions there was the vague possibility he could be almost as nervous as she was about not screwing this up.

"So ..." Brienne stuttered, confidence slipping away as she considered how exactly they were going to say everything they needed to without causing the same amount of damage as before.

"So ..." Jaime echoed awkwardly, pointing at the rows of foils beside him, "Shall we?"

She shook her head, "I'm not sure that would be an entirely good idea today. Could you even keep up?"

She winced as she realised the severity behind her chosen words, catching Jaime bringing his left hand into a fist. His mask flittered away for a second and from the look on his face she could only guess how much it must hurt, though he remained too proud to voice the pain.

"I am so sorry", she repeated, having nothing else to fall back on, "I didn't mean to hurt..."

"I'm already hurt", he brushed off the concern with an ease she disliked.

Something dark tickled at her, the fury of a friend, and Brienne let a tiny peal of nervous laughter escape. "Margaery will be pleased." The remark seemingly in recognition that she had been spending far too much time around Jaime and was now picking up his bad habits. She noticed that there was another little angry twitch from him but nothing more.

She thought about standing, wondering if that would lift some of the aching awkwardness, but instead just stripped off her fencing jacket before the heat blazing off her face could overtake her entire body. Leaning back, the cool press of the breeze blocks against fully realised bruises made her hiss. Jaime shot her a look of concern, but she kept her skin hidden from him.

Brienne was half way through figuring the introduction to her Norman Invasion essay when Jaime finally spat out another confession. 

“I’m not healing fast enough”, he waved his bandaged hand in disgust, “The doctors saw me yesterday and I’ve got”, there was a catch in his voice which she couldn’t tell if it was a cough or a choke, “Two months to show significant improvement or … there’s going to be nothing further they can do for me.”

"What's significant improvement?" She made sure she didn't sound worried, she’d done that at the time when amputation was first discussed, his bitterness only needed practicality.

“Anything more than what I can feel now”, he held her gaze for longer than was necessary, “So I’m not going to blame you if you want to get out while you still can.”

Brienne fought the urge to roll her eyes. Badly. "Do you know how much shit you’re talking right now?” He jumped at her surprise curse, eyeing her steadily. "It wouldn't make me much of a friend if I turned my back when someone needed me to be there. When Sansa got mugged freshman year I was the one to take her to the police station. So, I'm not going anywhere. You stupid arse."

"Insufferable wench", he spat back and Brienne smiled despite the return of the ridiculous and often spiteful nickname. "Don't forget you've got other options before you sign up to be the worst nurse in the world. The Lieutenant may spontaneously combust if you turned up on his doorstep ready for him to unwrap. Though he would have to deal with the fact that I was there first."

She calmed herself with a deep breath, mainly to prevent her getting up and punching Jaime in his currently smug mouth. "You know why Hyle is so interested, what he thinks I can do for his career. I'd be like a pawn for him to move around whenever he thought it necessary to gain a promotion. I'd have to simper and charm and forget. Do you really think that living like that, for the rest of my life, would be enough?"

Jaime sneered, "You'd get to go home, you'd get to go back to your perfect family and forget all the bad things."

"I love Tarth ... but I'm not my mother", it felt almost too difficult to admit and the tears were certainly trying to force their way out now, "I don't want to leave my friends behind to live and die without actually doing anything but squeeze out children that aren’t even here anymore."

"You came here. You found Sansa and Margaery", he reminded, "Maybe that's all you get before you have to face the universe's plan for you."

"Don't even joke about that. I couldn't even ..." a shiver of revulsion ran through her at the thought of doing anything she had enjoyed with Jaime with Hyle Hunt. The golden head lying next to her darkened in her mind and she had to blank it out before the vision could turn into anything more passionate. She couldn't forget what Hunt had done, that would stay with her for a long time even if he hadn't really been the worst offender. Though he was friendlier now, it was obvious at some level he still blatantly thought of her as an asset. The idea of being a wife to anyone was so far out of the realm of possibility it was funny, but acting as a wife to that upstart would likely turn her to stone. Enough of love wasn't enough of life.

"I would be disappointed in you if you didn't end up killing him in his sleep", Jaime laughed, breaking through her sour vision of the future, "I'd even make sure Tyrion sent you the best lawyer Lannister money could bribe."

"I really hope it doesn't come to that", she paused, considering Jaime's returning morbidity, "I did enjoy hitting him though."

He met her smile with one of his own, although it felt like a reflex when he muttered, "That's my girl."

Brienne closed her eyes, hiding from Jaime’s convenient lapse in memory over why this had started. That his odd little claim on her, his all too easy suffocation of her independence, had caused some of her feelings to change.

"Your girl?"

"If the Lieutenant isn't going to hold your interest", Jaime's face shifted, eyebrow raised and mouth contorting back into smugness. "Then yes, my girl."

She stared back, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent the retort that was coming along with her rising blood pressure. Whatever was about to fall out of her mouth wouldn't help right now.

"You say words don't matter", he growled at her closed mouth and wide eyes, "Yet you still flinch even though 'words are wind Jaime.'" He fell into her voice easily, mockingly before coming back with one bruising statement, "I guess that means 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' don't count for much either."

She fought the involuntary movement, but he sent her a withering look that said he could read her better than she’d realised. "You can't hide it Brienne. Everything fucking matters."

                                                                                                  **********

At least Brienne didn't look like she was going to cry this time, Jaime thought as she worried away at her lower lip. It was swelling with the quick movement of her oversized front teeth, very much like the way it did when they would spend hours kissing, blood rising visibly to fill the indentations left behind. She wasn’t responding to all his verbal challenges as quick as he wanted, this time not letting herself get mad enough to throw a few home truths back. Though in the slow circling process, her words had managed to silence a couple of bitter whispers that tormented him with the idea of a laughing dark haired man walking away with a blushing blue bride.

"I wish it didn't", Brienne whispered in reply, just about as gentle as she ever got, "I wish ... you ... it ... something would stop me from caring."

"We are what we've been brought up to be. You care, I don't."

"Jaime", he didn't know how she could sum up so much with simply his name, but it certainly was an individual talent. "I didn't mean it like that. I've seen you care. About Tyrion. About me."

She was taking breaths between the broken phrases, tearing him up inside. Jaime was almost happy she was hurting too but it would have felt better if Brienne would have allowed him to get a little closer.

"I .. would like if ... you cared ... more about school ... and less about ... sex"

He laughed, nowhere near spiteful that time but the return of her hurt face made him realise afterwards how the response must have sounded after she'd dug so hard to get the words out. "We spent two days in your bed not that long ago, I'm pretty sure sex is a part of this relationship whether you accept it or not."

"You scare me sometimes", she whispered and he eased himself over slightly in amazement, barely closing the gap but Brienne caught it and moved the same distance away from him. It was a dance again, an echo of what they would usually do with weapons in hand. "Sorry not scare, you ... worry me with what you want. All the time."

"You worry me when you don't want it", Jaime muttered back, equal but opposite.

"It happened so quickly", she admitted, "It feels like we went from nothing at all to planning a life together in the blink of an eye."

 _She had a funny definition of quick_ , Jaime thought, remembering his first urge to kiss her months ago at some stupid New Years Eve party. It ended up being swallowed away after she'd left early and he went off to watch the fireworks Tyrion had organised, finding he really didn't want to be around anyone else. It had taken him a long time to realise his changing feelings but since he had, Brienne was it. She may never be beautiful but he'd had enough of that fickle bitch to last him a lifetime. Besides he knew her, or at least thought he did, and no matter how many times he'd pushed her into a trembling, murmuring state she remained strangely innocent.

"How about we don't then?"

"Fine", Brienne jerked her head in surprise but agreed with his rash decision anyway, "That's fine. My friends were disappointed I wasn't going to be spending senior year with them."

She grabbed at her jacket and pushed herself to her feet, "Call me when you're ready to train again. I'd be ... happy to help."

"Shit, Brienne. Stop", Jaime winced at the pressure produced from using his hand to help him up. He could have said so many things in that moment, quips about domesticity but instead he spoke without thinking. "Tyrion took my phone."

"I was wondering why I didn't have several dozen messages."

“I wouldn’t have sent that many.”

“No?”

“Well …” Jaime admitted and she smiled, quick but light, allowing a wave of tension to lift. “I was meaning to tell you about the hand. Though, there was nothing stopping you texting me.”

She dropped her head, “I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what would make this right.”

“It’s not your job to make everything right.”

Her nostrils flared ever so slightly and there was a distinct possibility that this was all headed towards another tempest if he continued pushing at her. He expected Brienne to call him a name, push back but instead she took a deep breath.

“Jaime, no matter what I’m not going to turn my back on a friend. Not now, not ever. How about you just stop talking for tonight and we can think about everything else in a few days?”

He looked at her seriously for once, wanting to tell her that he didn’t think he could ever give her up even if he tried but the words got stuck in the reflections in Brienne’s eyes. “Maybe we should take a break then.”

“A break?” Her bottom lip wobbled a little, she didn’t really want to give him up either but they were currently in uncharted territory. When he fought with his step sister it was all so sexually charged that they never stayed mad at each other for long. Though with the watery eyed blonde staring him down it was different, things actually hurt and stuck. “If this is because of something else don’t sugar coat it. I’m a big girl and I deserve the truth.”

“That you are”, he murmured, “but this is about us. You’ve always believed me before so trust me now, even if you never do again. I haven’t touched her.”

“She still wants you to.”

“We all want things we can’t have.” Brienne at least had the good grace to blush at that, her freckles disappearing momentarily under the power of hidden meaning.

There was another deep breath, “Maybe just until the end of the semester? The break I mean. Go back to how we were before, before …” she made a vague gesture and Jaime narrowed his eyes. 

“Before we were fucking you mean", he corrected her bluntly, "Two fencing sessions and coffee once a week.”

“Three sessions. We can still go for coffee but no bed sharing and no kisses. For now."

Jaime nodded, he would be unimpressed by his self control if he couldn’t go a few weeks without touching her. He would just have to make the most of his memories of the time they'd already spent together instead.

“Though”, she tried for a smile but failed miserably, unsureness shining out of her every pore. “If you really want, we can still do some training tonight."

“Check the clock wench; we’ve already wasted the session and then some.” It had caught Jaime’s eye earlier, surprised that they had been circling each other in the gym for hours when it hardly felt like minutes since she’d walked back into his life. 

“What do we do now?” She looked so young as she asked the question, as if she couldn’t really remember what they did before.

“I think we should go and do something normal.”

To his surprise and delight Brienne laughed, “You mean normal people don’t usually try and maim each other with fencing foils? I’m shocked.”

He was definitely rubbing off on her, Jaime thought, meeting her laugh carefully. “How about a movie?” At the wary look she sent him, he amended his suggestion. “As friends. You must go to the movies with your roommates. There’s got to be something still showing at this time of night.”

Brienne cocked her head, her gorgeous eyes tracing his features carefully as if looking for the lie or the game he was playing. “We haven’t ever done that.”

“First time for everything I guess”, Jaime offered her a hand, already pushing their no touching policy, and she shook her head.

“Friends don’t hold hands. Unless they’re so drunk they need help getting home.”

“Well let’s get some alcohol in you”, there was yet another head shake as she yawned. "Another time maybe?"

"If you're not doing lunch at Casterly on Sunday, we could see if there's a game on somewhere."

That was more than he had been expecting under their new friendship umbrella. Though back when he had a lot of friends, and not just one truly great fencing partner, there had been a lot of weekend afternoons spent in pubs drinking and watching sports.

"I'd need to check, but I think it'll be ok. I'll call ... can I still call you?"

Brienne nodded, a little too eagerly if he was reading things right. "Of course you can Jaime. I don't, I don't want ... call me whenever you want and we can talk."

"About sports?"

"Sports, school, family, anything. We've still got to get you to graduation and I don't think failing your classes is going to be helpful."

"You're going to end up in one of my spare rooms if you're really serious about that promise." It was only a joke but Brienne flushed a little, making Jaime hope this separation wasn't going to last all that long.

“I’ll see you later in the week then", Brienne bit her lip and he knew she was holding something back.

"Out with it, wench."

"I don't think we should ... see other people ... romantically ... until ..." Brienne glanced across and held the eye contact until his heart started to speed up. Just when Jaime thought he'd figured her out, she went and pulled something like that.

"I guess that makes sense."

“Goodnight Jaime”, Brienne whispered as she walked towards the door, turning back to mutter words he could barely hear, “Thank you for understanding.”

He didn’t, not totally, but he would try to for her. For them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one quick coda, this is NOT a break up. I love these characters too much to keep them apart for too long but after the last chapter I thought this was needed. Apologies to anyone who hated it.
> 
> For those who still want more I have actually started chapter 27, so it shouldn't be too long before another update.


	27. Love is about all the changes you make (and not just three small words)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I must apologise for the fact that it has now been six months, almost to the day, since this was last updated. I've had good days and bad days writing this but I feel like I finally have this chapter where I want it to be.
> 
> Secondly, thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos here or sent me supportive messages on Tumblr. Please know that re-reading those notes have helped me through days where I doubted this would ever go past half finished.
> 
> And, a massive thank you and hugs and anything else I can't think of right now to my wonderfully amazingly talented beta and friend RoseHeart. I do not have the words to explain how much having her to talk to and rely on throughout this process has meant to me. She has bolstered me when I needed it, talked me out of so many low points and generally has just been an amazing friend. (Oh and if you haven't read Rose's fic The Seven Bind Their Fate yet I'd highly recommend it!)
> 
> Chapter title is a lyric from Frank Turner's The Way I Tend To Be and as usual characters and anything you recognise do not belong to me. Margaery's email is part of a quote by Jennifer Peepas which can be found here: http://internal-acceptance-movement.tumblr.com/post/55815715166
> 
> I hope it's been worth the wait :)

It hadn’t been easy, at first, for Brienne to know how to act around Jaime, now that they had taken a step back from each other. There was no other person who had seen her like he had. Not even Sansa and Margaery had borne witness to the moments where she would completely let her guard down and whisper of her hopes and dreams. She couldn't deny the peace she felt lying beside him, both comfortably exposed and sated from whatever release Jaime had recently encouraged from her more than willing body. He knew everything, their months together providing him with so much ammunition Brienne was almost surprised some of it hadn’t been thrown back in her face, now that they were back to being just ‘friends’. But since he hadn’t, it was beginning to make her all the more sure of him.

She was discovering that there were few doubts in her head over how much he truly loved her, but that feeling had been so often overwhelmed by other things that demanded her to give too much, too soon. Her worries were being replaced by an idea which seemed to suggest that their rush to experience things together, from the bedroom to forever, would burn them out as a couple before they had even really started. Brienne didn’t want to lose her fiercely fought for independence. She had left Tarth for more than one reason and had come to appreciate what the years at Kings had brought out of her. With everything in her past, it was more than difficult for Brienne to give herself over to the all-encompassing, co-dependent, possessive relationship Jaime was more used to. She wasn’t Cersei, she couldn’t be Cersei and she didn't want to be Cersei. But after the lingering hurt and anger from their fight had slowly begun to dissipate, she realised that she _did_ want her and Jaime to be something that would last. And maybe there would come a time where they could try and face a version of forever by each other's side, which might have been all he was tactlessly trying to ask of her the whole time.

Although it was true that Brienne had spent enough time with Jaime to realise that ever since that very first day in fencing club, when he hated her on sight and she let his reputation precede him, their emotions had been constantly changing when faced with the other’s company. Jaime was probably the most passionate man she had ever come across, a huge contrast to the military personnel she’d grown up around, and it didn’t matter if that was lustily directed at her overly large body, manifested as frustration bubbling up during one of their fencing sessions or even disappointed anger at his family’s choices, she couldn’t remove any of that from his personality. And their time apart had allowed her to realise that she really didn’t want to.

So, with that in mind, it didn’t come as much of a surprise that just over a month after the agreement had been made, she found herself dreaming of Jaime again. And, if the influx of lovingly carnal thoughts were anything to go by, Brienne only really wanted to know how to cope with every part of his personality, rather than wipe out anything all together. Without any one aspect of who he was, she probably wouldn’t have fallen so hard.

 

Following several evenings with only her chattering roommates and a mountain of text books for company, Brienne had been looking forward to putting her whites back on and burning off some of the excess energy that made her feel almost nervous when she was alone with the same man who had agreed to give her the space to catch her breath. Although that night in particular, as the dark slowly descended into the space where they had fought and mocked and made out so many times before, all Brienne wanted was the courage to admit that the tension being produced in the air each time their blades met was killing her.

"I must be getting good again if you're tired already", Jaime joked as he approached, forcing her to loose ground and step back towards the gym wall. "We haven't even moved past the foreplay and into a real bout yet."

Throwing her off balance with the seductiveness of his voice and his rough words was one of his favourite tactics. Although she could usually blush and bite back a reply before an impact was really made, he followed it up with a comment that she had to stop and strain to hear. "Do I get to claim a prize if there's actually a clear winner today?"

He took another step and Brienne had her weapon up to parry before he could attempt to pin her to the wall, mirroring one of their earliest fights. It felt as if her heart was pounding out a samba in her ribcage, sweat causing wispy strands of hair to stick to her skin. Jaime was breathing hard, dancing backwards with mirth sparkling in his emerald eyes.

"Now you've woken up", he laughed as they moved together across the floor, perfectly equal. "For a second, I was worried something was distracting you."

"Not likely", Brienne lied as she glanced down at his feet and up to his hands, checking the grip that was becoming better with each hour they spent sparring. "If you do manage to _win_ , I'll treat you to lunch."

Jaime cocked his head, licking his lips slowly as if he knew what was going on under her skin. "For some reason that doesn't seem fair. I'm working with a handicap here, I should at least get dinner."

She would have offered to spar with her left hand but Brienne knew, before she had even mentioned it, that Jaime wanted a training partner at full strength, even if that sometimes could damage his pride. "You know you'd be better if you stopped talking."

"I'm still strong enough."

She flicked her wrist, the flat of her blade gently coming in contact with his upper arm. "Only if you concentrate."

Jaime laughed again, becoming a whirling, smirking knight as she realised, with every focused stroke, that he'd been holding back. She fought to keep her feet and her breath, losing both as he played one thrusting attack after another and Brienne eventually faltered and fell.

"We appear to have a winner", Jaime crowed as he pulled her up, the touch of his hand burning her sweat soaked skin. "You owe me a meal."

"Come and pick me up tomorrow morning", she replied in a whisper, his enthusiasm easily overpowering the humiliation of being knocked on her ass. "And we can get something before school."

Jaime raised an eyebrow quizzically as he loosened his hold on her hand, but didn't find any further questions. He knew as well as she did that all of the breakfasts they had shared up to that point were the byproduct of mornings after, pancakes and pastries becoming intimate by association. But tomorrow couldn't be anything more than platonic.

For the first time in a while, he actually stayed to help put away the fencing equipment, complaining around tales of Tyrion’s latest escapades. Brienne found herself smiling, which appeared to lighten his mood even further, and for a moment, it felt like nothing had changed. But it had.

 

That night Brienne dreamt that he took her on her bedroom floor, tangled up in the makeshift bed Jaime had spent so many nights in. He growled in her ear, demanding that she scream his name as he pushed into her, forcing them higher and higher as they fucked fast and rough like it was the only thing that mattered. She burst the second Jaime pressed his lips against her scarred cheek, fingers clamped between her legs, the release becoming waves of sensation that she wanted to drown in.

Brienne woke more flustered than ever before, opening an eye to glare at the flashing, buzzing phone which had pulled her away from a very real ecstasy. From the way the light was streaking through her curtains, her first thought shouldn't have been about spending a little more time in bed to quietly relieve the need gnawing away at her resolve and colouring her every other thought. Her first class wasn't until eleven and the time would be better spent as a revision session, as exams were starting up in a few days.

Jaime had been the cause of her unusually late night, texting until the small hours of the morning to complain about cheating in whatever game he had found to see him through his sudden insomnia. Though he was finally understanding the need to be more responsible and organised when it came to school. Her tiny smile was unwitnessed as Brienne grabbed the buzzing phone, a headful of ideas warming her through as she considered that he may have been trying to protect any future relationship between them through his actions.

 

_It's tomorrow. J_.

_Tell me something I don't know. B_.

_I'm getting coffee. Do you want anything?_

 

Brienne was ever so slightly tempted to text back ' _Just you_ ' but even with the after-effects of her highly vivid dream still hot in her blood, she couldn't come on to him that explicitly, especially since they only had two weeks left before the semester, and their separation, was due to end. They were supposed to sit down and talk everything through, which was decided after they agreed one evening that they couldn't even look at each other without snapping. Now that the dreams had started up again it meant going back to finding her own pleasure on a semi-regular basis, but Brienne knew that one step forward and two steps back would lead them nowhere.

_I still need to pay my debt_.

Brienne closed her eyes tight, wincing and blushing as she waited for the ‘ping’ signalling his response.

_I'm on my way ;)_

Shaking her head at her own stupidity she walked, with a yawn, towards the memorably unreliable shower.

 

**************

 

Jaime knocked smartly on Brienne's front door not twenty minutes after her message had come through, hoping that he had avoided both Sansa's not so subtle smiles and Margaery's controlled glares for another day. Both girls were continuing to protect their friend vehemently and Jaime had no doubt the pair knew far more than he did about Brienne's current state of mind, although they were talking about more and more personal matters with each passing day.

Over the past month he had stubbornly refused to stop thinking of Brienne as his girlfriend and, judging by the amount of time they were now spending together, she wasn't planning on fighting him on that status any time soon. It had started with fencing a couple of nights a week, which had quickly led into the reoccurrence of their coffee debriefs and, a little over two weeks in, Brienne asking him to help train the junior squad. Then there were the occasional evenings that they'd scheduled for studying but, once assignments had been written, simply became an excuse to watch movies or go on the dates they should have been instigating all along. However anything more than the briefest of touches had fallen by the wayside, along with talk of possible shared futures. They spoke of the past haltingly, Brienne's words gentle but heartfelt, reassuring Jaime that she understood exactly why he had been angry enough to lash out as well and that they both needed time to heal.

Although Jaime now realised, at times, he'd instigated discussions with Brienne just to watch her battle with dilemmas that creased her forehead and set off pleasing sparks in her eyes, the overwhelming feeling that stayed through everything had been one that he couldn't express simply in words. In his family, with all the barely concealed disgust and repressed emotion, actions had always painted a clear picture of what was occurring under an often peaceful looking surface. He understood a kiss could mean more than a word and, as if making up for her lack of experience, had enjoyed teaching and learning with Brienne all the ways they could make love and fuck and relish in the connection even the simplest act brought them. But as she pulled away from the more physical nature of their relationship, it couldn't feel anything but familiar. Another girl, another time, another man. He hated comparing Cersei and Brienne, but part of him was angry at her for allowing him to ever have to, despite knowing that the same thought could never cross her sweet, innocent mind.

This time, though, the girl in question had all but admitted she thought of him as a distraction, as if they were just playing at being in love and he wasn't worthy or good enough to be anything more than a passing fancy. He didn't feel like somebody who she could see sharing her body and space and life with. Fury rose in Jaime every time he thought that Brienne might still have reservations that they were nothing but an elaborate cosmic joke and the waiting punchline would be a broken heart. Maybe it would even be a matching pair of broken hearts. He only wished he knew why Brienne hadn't trusted him, or the strength of their relationship, to speak up before the fight.

It’s not that he would have ever consider someone like Hyle Hunt a _better_ man per se, just one with an actual career and the use of all his fingers. It wouldn't have been a stretch to think Brienne would want more than he could give her, taking into account endless hospital appointments and a family who would rather see her back on Tarth, but Jaime supposed there must have been a reason why she didn't want them to see other people. It took a while to sort through the mess of emotions they'd thrown at each other, but as Brienne started to smile again, suggesting a mid week dinner every now and again or not letting Tyrion drive him to the hospital, Jaime knew she was at least trying to deal with, rather than hide from, the future.

In fact, it was Brienne's hand that had nervously closed around his healing one, feeling a little closer to acceptance, if not a loving claim, to pull him up to dance at Sansa's bubblegum pink 21st birthday party. If the redhead hadn't been completely engrossed in talking to one Tyrell sibling or another for most of the night, Jaime might have assumed there had been help in keeping Brienne awkwardly close. He knew, though, that the brush of her slightly trembling fingers was nothing more than a touching attempt at gratitude for coming along.

And just as they were learning to forgive and move on, Brienne was called back home for a few days due to a health scare with her father. Although Jaime hoped she wouldn't have protested if he'd asked to go with her, he made the choice to remain at Kings. He trusted that she wouldn't look for comfort in the arms of the Lieutenant and during their romantic separation, he'd actually started to enjoy spending time in certain classes, rather than putting their bed through its paces all day. It might have come about a little too late to do much about his overall grade point average, but medicine and history and politics were far more interesting when he actually took the time to pay more than passing glances to the source material. Plus, Brienne called him as soon as she landed in Storms End, vindicating his trust, and sent messages every few hours after with updates about her father, reaching out for him in a time of need.

His own health was improving too. Although his right hand was still encased in bandages, after yet another month of x-rays and physiotherapy and Brienne sitting anxiously in waiting rooms, there was less of a danger that it would be removed before Jaime reached his next birthday. And with her patient but stubborn help, Jaime was confident he could land both a decent left hook and victorious fencing offensive. He was just starting to replay moves from the previous night, each stroke bringing to mind an important date or fact needed for Baelish's final exam, which had been a memory trick he’d come across all on his own, as the door he was leaning against opened and Jaime had to stop himself from falling onto the bleary eyed girl on the other side.

"Morning", Brienne smiled, looking half asleep, though her damp hair indicated she'd been up long enough to shower. She pointed at the paper bag in his hand, a yawn breaking through her sudden frown. "Didn't I say I'd get that?"

Jaime brushed the question away, becoming painfully aware that Brienne hadn't left him enough room to enter without having to momentarily press against her. A wave of vanilla hit, memories of tasting her in a state of arousal sending an unwanted rush of blood south. "Did someone superglue you to the floor?"

"You never know in this house, what with the track record of disappearing light bulbs and broken showers." Her cheeks were pink instead of scarlet, no prettier he noted, but a little less modest than normal.

"I barely touched it", Jaime countered, dropping his voice as he held back from touching her in all the ways he wanted to. He had brought himself off countless times in the last month thinking of her warm and willing again, but never stepping over the invisible line to encourage Brienne to do the same before she was ready. Jaime wasn't used to patience, Cersei had known what she wanted and when she wanted it, but he was doing his best to wait for Brienne, even if at times their arrangement felt like one of his step-sister's pathetic fidelity tests. He knew that before he touched Brienne again, he would have to stop reacting as if she was capable of the things that came naturally to Cersei. "It's not my fault your house is falling apart. I have a perfectly functional bathroom. Maybe you should come over some time..."

"Maybe I should."

Jaime heard a distinctly unimpressed cough from over his shoulder, the sound causing Brienne to jump and step away, like she'd been caught doing something far worse than merely talking to him. A quick glance back let him catch sight of Margaery, blue beams burning holes in his back.

"Should what?" he teased in a whisper, but Brienne had retreated behind her walls again and wasn't about to finish that sentence any time soon.

Margaery feigned innocence as he turned and stared back, wide kohl rimmed eyes fooling no one. "Don't you have a class about now?"

He took another last check of Brienne's face, feeling like he couldn't have just imagined the spark of interest in her eyes. Before the fight, before the confessions and the need to figure out who they were together but alone, he would have ended their conversation by kissing her breathless, despite, or in spite of, the simmering brunette at his back. But now, after everything he knew and everything they'd shared, Jaime only smirked and headed for the door, though he couldn't resist a parting shot.

"Thank you, Margaery, for reminding me how truly welcome I am in your home."

 

*************

"You cried out for him last night", Margaery commented bluntly as soon as Jaime was out of earshot, her face wrinkling with worry as soon as Brienne turned away to shut the front door. "Are you thinking about running before you should try to walk again?"

Her friend kept her expression hidden, though Margaery could hear the clear anger and embarrassment fuelling her words. "I was dreaming." Brienne spun around, folding her arms over her chest as if the position could grant her more confidence. "I want... but I'm not sure I'm supposed to _want_ until we talk through a few things. He's so... but I love him."

"Oh sweetie", Margaery let her mask drop as she saw the emotions flicker across her friend's face, each one fighting to work out whether it was worth hanging on to. "You must know I'm only worried you're going to do something that'll get you hurt again. I'm always going to be here to put you or Sansa back together after some boy drop kicks your heart, but that doesn't mean I enjoy doing it. So if you really see you and Jaime working out long term, and that’s what you want, then you shouldn't let my opinions stop you from trying.”

"I really do want to try."

There was so much determination in Brienne's voice that Margaery found she could only sigh, thinking back to a night and a plan that took a less than innocent turn far too quickly in such inexperienced hands. Brienne dropped to the floor, looking a little overwhelmed as she made herself appear as small as possible, and Margaery tried to come up with a way to fix her friend's problem rather than creating another one.

"This doesn't mean I can, or will, forgive him after everything that's happened, but have you tried talking to Jaime about what you're feeling? Or better yet, have you tried showing him?"

"I wouldn't know..." Brienne looked up at her friend for a second, blue eyes wide and bottom lip quivering, before turning away. “Sometimes it’s impossible being friends with him when I know there could be more, if we sorted everything out. I mean how do I tell him that?”

"You say: take me to bed because I've been dreaming about you fucking me and I need you inside me now.” Margaery had to bite back the smile which wanted to escape on seeing how terrified Brienne looked at even thinking about such a statement. "It’s not an awful thing to want the guy you love to actually make a physical connection."

“But…”

Margaery sighed, clearly this was going to take a little more effort than she had previously realised. They couldn't just be pushed together again, not after they had both been burnt by the other's insecurities. Brienne, at least, would need leading into a brave new world. “Can you do me a favour, since you’re now legal and haven’t taken advantage of it once, and get me a bottle of tequila for tonight please?”

"Tequila?"

"I'm going to need a drink if we're going to work out how to _seduce_ Jaime Lannister."

 

*************

Brienne glanced up, for what felt like the hundredth time, at the forcefully ticking clock as Catelyn finally called the last hour of the final seminar to a close. On a day where Brienne hadn't been sure whether to cower in the relative safety provided by the last of her classes or rush home and confront Margaery's suggestions head on, time had dragged on and flown by simultaneously.

She should have taken an extra step the night before, or that morning, and wrapped her arms around Jaime like she had wanted to after seeing the pained looks he couldn't hide after particularly hard physiotherapy sessions, and faced the consequences later. But that wasn't the way her heart or head had ever worked. Even Margaery, with all her sensuality and worldly ways, wouldn't understand the fond exasperation every back and forth with Jaime produced, meaning moments passed her by because Brienne couldn't be sure they were ever the _right_ time to act. And she was determined not to miss any more moments with Jaime now that she was slowly learning to talk to him about her fears and concerns, rather than storing them away. She just wished she could be as expressive in her desires as well.

"Brienne", Catelyn called to her as the class started to file into the cool corridor. "If you wouldn't mind staying behind for a moment."

Catelyn shuffled a pile of unmarked assignments towards her bag and Brienne automatically picked up those that wouldn't fit. "I'm interested to know if you had made any definite plans beyond next year."

"Plans?"

"I believe during sophomore year, you expressed a desire to join the police force. Is that still the case?"

"My dad and boy... _friends_ wish it wasn't."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to help people", Catelyn took the pile of papers off her, balancing them on her hip like she would a small child. "But you're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for and there are a few programmes here that might hold your interest more than directing traffic for two years. It might be worth keeping your options open a little longer."

Brienne blushed deeply at the unexpected compliment. "I will, Prof... Catelyn, thank you."

"We'd prefer not to loose you so soon, Brienne, whether that be to public service or the Lannister family gold mine."

She nodded, not knowing what else to say, automatically following the professor out of the seminar room and into the crowds of students milling around outside, waiting for the next session.

“I’ll see you bright and early Monday morning then”, Catelyn attempted a smile, but it came off a little more wolfish than Brienne would have liked. “I trust that you’re all prepared for the final.”

She nodded again, feeling unneeded nerves start to cloud her thoughts. She had been readying herself for weeks, but no matter how much work Brienne put in, the idea that there would be more than one surprise waiting on her exam papers never went away. And the look on Catelyn’s face was doing nothing to prevent that doubt from rising and taking root in her already confused mind. But at least the veiled warning meant she had time to focus on her notes and the course reading over the weekend and find any loopholes she may have missed the first dozen times she'd read them. Although, even with each of her finals being a step into the unknown, there was no reason why she couldn't take a night off to talk with Margaery. She felt herself slipping into doubtful depths and hoped her friend could keep her from falling completely into its clutches.

Catelyn dismissed her curtly and after weaving her way through over excited seniors and trembling freshmen, Brienne headed straight for the on campus mini supermarket, wondering if there was anything she could add to her shopping list that would make her feel like she wasn’t going to drown in her own feelings.

 

Margaery's melodic voice filtered through the air as Brienne stumbled in from the evening a short time later, wondering why their normally tidy hallway looked like a tornado had dropped by to deposit several thousand dollars worth of clothing in expensive looking bags into the space.

"Marge?" she hesitantly enquired up the stairs. "Is there a reason why there's an entire store down here?"

"Of course." Brienne jumped as her friend appeared from the kitchen, tapping her on the shoulder and stealing the bag containing the tequila and ice cream in the process. "I thought I'd do a little shopping for you since I'll never get you in a mall again."

"You didn't need to do that."

"The two little black and white bags are yours", Margaery gestured in the vague direction of the front door, ignoring Brienne's protests. "I took a guess at what you might like, so if it's wrong, you can always swap them tomorrow."

Curiosity getting the better of her, Brienne peeked into the delicate monochrome bags and almost immediately handed them back, fighting against the heat rising to her face. "Underwear?"

"Think of them more as visual aids for Jaime", Margaery smiled kindly. "Trust me, I haven't met a guy yet who hasn't enjoyed the anticipation of unwrapping their girl before actually getting down to the sex itself. It's like foreplay for the eyes."

"I really can't accept this."

"It's a gift." She told Brienne like they had come to the end of that particular conversation and there was nothing further to add. "Mainly because I can't let you continue to buy your bras from the junior or sports departments. Your twenty-one for seven's sake, not fourteen!"

Brienne tried to change the subject, glancing at the floor and back to the bag in her friend's hand. "The ice cream is melting."

"Don't you try.... ice cream?"

"I've had a long day."

"Then why don't you join me in seeing if we have the rest of the ingredients for margaritas?"

Brienne shrugged and shook her head in one movement, wondering how she had got to such a strange point in her friendship with Margaery. "I don't think drinking is going to help me."

"No, but it might allow you to talk through this Jaime sex crap without looking like you're trying to fade into the Lannister family crest."

"Maybe I _should_ be talking about this with him."

"That comes later", Margaery promised with a knowing smile, rolling her eyes at the hopeless prospect of Brienne blurting out her passions. "Though hopefully before me and Sansa have to knock your heads together again."

"Again?"

"Oh sweetie, you really didn't think we had a poltergeist, did you? San is the queen of sabotage when it's in the name of true love. Or so she says."

Brienne blinked several times in quick succession, processing information she probably had already guessed. "But you... you don't even like Jaime."

"No, I really don't. But that doesn't mean that I haven't considered what colour the flowers are going to be at your wedding or how many little blond terrors I'm going to be godmother to one day." Margaery rolled her eyes again, the action seeming to be equally aimed at herself and Brienne. "I'm planning on not remembering any of this in the morning so my lips are as good as sealed."

Brienne took a deep breath and let the jumble of words and emotions swimming around in her head start to stumble towards coherence.

 

**************

 

"Why am I not surprised to learn that Jaime Lannister is good with his mouth? He might as well put his tongue to some use other than trying to piss me off." Margaery delicately drained her sugar coated glass for the third time, her voice flying up from the kitchen floor in a manner that made it sound louder and more shrill than normal, looking at Brienne sitting across from her straight in the eye. "Though I'm assuming that blush means you've at least tried to reciprocate."

The blonde girl nodded and felt her cheeks burn brighter, taking Margaery's advice about liquid courage and sipping at the potent combination balanced in her hand. "There was a pregnancy scare with..." Brienne swallowed, reminding herself that although Margaery's alcohol tolerance was up there with certain members of the Lannister family, her friend was most definitely heading towards drunk. "Cersei and after what happened to my mom, I didn't want to take any risks. Everything else seemed like a safer option."

Margaery laughed, the unladylike bark not aimed to wound but hurting a little, nevertheless. "I bet Jaime wasn't complaining."

"I don't know. He's always been... affectionate, but he likes to make sure I… finish first, it took a while for both of us to work out how..." Brienne trailed off and was interrupted before she was allowed to finish the thought.

"I guess he’s a keeper”, Margaery drawled. “But since you’re not looking for a friend with benefits, that’s maybe besides the point.” She stared pointedly and Brienne chose to drink a little more. “You know since I've heard you two more than once being _affectionate_ , I'm going to add loud to your list of Jaime traits. That wouldn't have been a problem for a lot of people, at least you knew he was enjoying himself, but I think I might know at least one reason why you've been so worried about the separation of sex and love." Margaery poured herself another glass and stood up to toast the almost empty room. "You, or Jaime, for that matter, are not clingy, or needy, or silly for having needs for affection and affirmation and attention within a romantic relationship."

"Did you just give a speech?"

"Wait, there's more. I just need to find Sansa's email." With a throw worthy of a basketball champion, Margaery retrieved her phone and passed it to Brienne.

Brienne quickly scanned the rest of the text, falling over the very last line, _but inside a healthy relationship, being able to show affection, pay attention, and demonstrate “you are amazing and important to me” is a pleasure, not some task or burden_. "What is it?"

"Some self help chain email bullshit. It's been doing the rounds for a couple of weeks now. I thought I was the last to see it, but..."

"I haven't seen it before tonight." Brienne skimmed the email again, _you are amazing and important to me_ , hearing Jaime's voice in her slowly swimming head, wondering how he would react if she repeated the same truth to him. "Why are you showing me this?"

"Because you needed to see it. Because spending your life shutting out those you love and want to be with is going to be lonely. Because", Margaery brushed a hand over her hair, a hard smile twisting her features. "Real life isn't a fairytale. At least not a Disney one. Everybody has issues, some get talked out into the open, others are elephants in every room they go into but from what I’ve witnessed you've been trying to accept his and live with yours. Or accept yours and live with his. I don't know." She paused, a killing blow approaching. "But if I ever heard Robb talking about me in that tone you don't even realise you've been using, every time Jaime's name has come up recently, then I wouldn't let two weeks stop me from taking the initiative. Straight to bed."

Brienne found she couldn't look at her friend, beginning to feel a little affected from even the small quantity of alcohol running through her bloodstream. "Doesn't that feel a little like... her?"

"Do you want him to do anything for you in return that would be considered morally or ethically or legally wrong?"

She shook her head. "Of course not."

"Then I'd say you're still Brienne." Margaery tried to giggle at her own cleverness but hiccuped instead. "I could always put on a movie if you'd prefer to talk about something else."

"No. I want... everything but maybe I should just wait as we'd agreed."

"Are you really going to feel more up to this in another couple of days or weeks? Subtle hasn't exactly worked for you in the past. Or him for that matter. We had to break a goddamn shower for you to even take notice of how stupidly attractive he is under all that Lannister arrogance. Trust me, there's no time like the present."

Brienne stared as the brunette waved her hands towards the door like a magician’s assistant. "You do realise I'm not going to turn into a swan", she protested, Margaery thrusting the designer lingerie into her arms.

"Nobody's asking you turn into anything you're not, sweetie. All of this is just to bring out your blue eyes and legs that go on for days and. Damn. Good. Heart. It's just about playing to your strengths, that's all, because we do love you the way you are. Now…"

"Oh no, please don't tell me I missed a girls night text", Sansa popped her head into the kitchen, breaking Margaery's train of thought, shrugging out of her jacket and looking forlornly between her friends. "I was just tidying up at the theatre. You could have called when I didn't show."

"One day you're going to have to tell me how you can open and close that door so quietly", Margaery replied, offering Sansa to help herself to the liquor laden jug. "It wasn't planned as a girls night but you're welcome to join me. Brienne was just about to head out."

"Ooh", Sansa cooed, turning her attention to the blonde girl who was now trying to sneak away without being noticed. "Where's he taking you tonight?"

"Um..." If Brienne had felt uncomfortable talking over everything with Margaery then letting Sansa into the same conversation felt even worse.

" _She's_ taking him to bed. We've discussed it and I've given assurances that wanting him doesn't mean she's a whore or crazy or, basically, Cersei."

"Actually", Sansa began, and Brienne felt her heart rise to pound at the back of her throat, her stomach a whirlpool of sensation. If she could have disappeared in that second, she would have, leaving her friends to continue to talk like she wasn't there. "I'd really like it if Brienne didn't rush off. It's been ages since we've had a proper night in without school getting in the way and Jaime'll still be there in the morning. Hells, I think he'll still be there in a million mornings time."

"We'd be... about three thousand years old." Brienne pointed out, sinking back down to the floor without much prompting, wondering if she didn't need a little more time to come to terms with her desires after all.

"But forever is forever", Sansa smiled pleasantly, having never lost the belief that true love would prosper. "And if these drinks are as strong as I think, wouldn't you rather go to him with a clear head?"

"They're not strong, they're lethal."

"My point exactly. With the way you are, you'd be asleep by the time he'd taken your pants off."

Brienne tried to look indignant but found herself caught up in her friend's loving concern. It was an excruciatingly slow process, accepting that sometimes others did know what was better for her than she did. Since Sansa and Margaery had staked claims at opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to advice, it was making it all the more difficult to figure out what was best for herself. She felt panic start to bubble up as she realised what she had been about to so boldly do and it mixed with the alcohol and fear of her finals to run unchecked in her blood. "I think I need a glass of water."

As Sansa retrieved a bottle from the fridge and began to question Margaery's shopping spree, Brienne discreetly tried to send a text to Jaime. She wasn't sure why, but casting a line out to him seemed like her best chance at surfacing from her worries.

_How did your last classes go? B_

His response, as usual, only took milliseconds.

_Nothing to write home about. Varys seems to think we're all going to fail though. J_

_You're not going to fail._

_That's goes for you too, even if you haven't started worrying about it yet._

She sighed even before she finished reading the hastily sent message. Jaime had an uncanny ability to predict most of her moods, like he could read it in the stars or weather patterns, and his deep rooted knowledge of her was the net Brienne needed in that moment in order to regain her footing. _What are you doing?_

_Not much._

Brienne was half way through her reply, explaining why she had borrowed the keys to Arya's high school for their next practice, since the gym was needed Sunday night for finals set up, when she had to stop.

_Wait, did you want me to ask you what you're wearing?_

_No._

She could feel his smile as if it was a physical entity, prickling the hairs along the back of her neck. _I'll see you tomorrow._

_Sweet dreams._

 

**************

 

Even though it was only her junior year, Jaime had gone through enough exam cycles with Brienne to have been made aware of how her doubts seemed to go into overdrive around mid terms and finals. Well before they had accepted their unlikely friendship and growing mutual attraction, he'd played on the fact that, in the days running up to the tests, it was almost too easy to fluster and frustrate her with very little effort on his part. Back then, it was the only time Jaime could be sure that he was witnessing her true, unguarded, emotions, but now it had become more about knowing when Brienne needed his support and when she needed to blow off steam. Although he couldn't, in good conscience, admit to not having considered whether fucking away some of her nervous energy would help get Brienne out of her head, with the way things still were he decided, almost as soon as the thought took root, to leave that particular suggestion until next semester rolled around. By that time Jaime hoped she could accept and appreciate how much he wanted to show that side of his love.

As it was, they spent most of the weekend apart. Jaime hadn't planned it that way, he would have liked the opportunity to pull Brienne away from her concerns for at least an hour or two, but his brother had asked him to help on a wild goose chase that took nearly a day and a half to resolve. Though by the time Sunday evening arrived he must have spent at least that amount of time messaging her with reassuring insinuations, to the point where their practice session was cloaked in a comfortable silence only broken by the sound of weapons being wielded. Brienne was as fierce and determined as he'd seen her, in his head becoming like one of the Valkyries she had taken an entire semester to read up on, and against the powerful onslaught Jaime had to acknowledge that maybe she was, on occasion, more than strong enough to seize a victory. 

He'd wanted Brienne more than ever as she hovered over him before he reluctantly yielded, wanted her to share every good and bad and indifferent day with him, each contradiction belonging to the woman he had fallen for never having been clearer.

It was the quest for a more permanent solution to her continual problem with looming deadlines that brought Jaime to the room in lockdown for Brienne's initial final the following morning, making sure to stay out of the eye line of Professor Stark as he paced impatiently like a caged beast along the corridor. Although Brienne would have finished her paper with time to spare, he also knew that she wouldn't leave the room until the whole three hours were up. Everything which made her good and honourable also stopped her from even thinking about disturbing anyone who might still be working. 

Jaime was caught somewhere between bored and hungry by the time he caught sight of her dour head ducking through the door, watching Brienne snap to warily flushed attention as he called out her name.

"Seven hells", he cursed as her downcast expression only shifted minutely at seeing him stalk across the tiled floor towards her. "Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"It wasn't good. I couldn't remember..."

"Brienne." Jaime purposely dragged the syllables slowly over his tongue, waiting until the shivers had ran appealingly down the length of her body and disappeared into the ground before continuing. "I have something for you."

Her eyes reluctantly moved off his face and focused on anything and everything in the space before allowing his world to blue over again. "Jaime, I don't have time for whatever this is."

"I'll have you home in time for dinner, I promise. Just trust me and come here."

 

**************

As Brienne peered safely from her spot across from Jaime, she realised that the calm which had washed over her had occurred hours before she had even taken the final. She felt it every time Jaime knew her mood and saved her from being swallowed up by any one of her many worries. The sensation of loosing the ground beneath her feet held no weight to the amount of trust and strength present in Jaime’s evergreen gaze. He would always be there to steady her when she needed him. And Brienne hoped Jaime knew that she would always be there for him too. Out of everything she had expected to find at college, discovering a kindred spirit in someone like the infuriatingly beautiful Jaime Lannister hadn't been anywhere close to a possibility. So many voices from her childhood had told her that she wouldn't be able to survive on her own in the wide world, that leaving Tarth was only asking for trouble, but Brienne hadn't been alone now for a long time, both in friendship and love.

"Where exactly are you taking me?" Brienne asked as she caught the flickering moment of a knee weakening smile which gave nothing away. She wouldn't have really minded Jaime openly sneaking glances, butterflies she should have been over beginning to swarm every time he looked like he was seeing something the mirror never revealed to her, if only he hadn't removed his hand from the wheel each time to brush away the hair that kept falling appealingly over his face.

"You don't have to keep checking that I'm still here, I came willingly."

"You always used to, so I would hope nothing had changed there."

"Jaime", she chastised softly, feeling her skin burn hotter still as he brazenly stared back. "I only meant..."

"I know what you meant", he grinned. "I just like watching you blush."

"Keep your eyes on the road", she mumbled, whirling her own eyes away to mull over the countryside now coming into focus out of her window.

"I'd love to, my... Brienne, but we're here."

"Where exactly is 'here'? And what was so important that you had to bring me out to a parking lot in the middle of nowhere today?" She felt a rising rebellion of irrationality flood through the peacefulness Jaime had fostered in her, considering everything from a confrontation to a proposal.

But he simply sent one last, disconcertingly smouldering look her way, causing Brienne to wonder if there would ever come a day where _that_ look would force her to overcome her shyness and pull him into bathrooms or closets or backseats just to have his skin against hers. Seemingly unaware to what he had birthed in her head, Jaime slid out of the car, leaving her to stumble along behind.

"I thought it was about time I let you in on one of our better family secrets", Jaime called out as he strode down the gravel path leading into lines of trees, yawning sarcastically as he casually held open a gate and checked his watch. "Genna used to bring us here all the time when she got sick of having seven kids sniping at each other under one roof."

"Seven?" She nodded her thanks at Jaime's courtesy and he began to fall in step with her again, shoulder to shoulder.

"Me, Cersei, Tyrion and her four. Chaos does not begin to describe it."

"I don't know. I think a bit of chaos might be nice to grow up with."

"Says the only child."

"I wasn't always and I never wanted to be."

His responding shoulder knock felt like an act of contrition, allowing her a chance to wonder if maybe, one day in the not so distant future, _maybe_ the possibility of a green eyed chaotic family with Jaime would fill more of the missing pieces in the unsolved puzzle that was her heart. It was a thought for another day though as Jaime put out an arm to stop her from taking another step forward, finally catching a glimpse of an overbearing sign. "You've brought me go-karting?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" 

"It just seems like it would be a little...?"

"Fun?"

"Dangerous."

"I won't let anything bad happen to you", he promised. "Though if you drive like an old person, like you normally do, you will be lapped."

"I'd like to see you try", she growled, joining in with Jaime's laughter only a second later. "This is fun for you?"

"It was once upon a time. I don't see why it shouldn't be again."

Brienne realised, with a sharply drawn breath, that he could be talking about their relationship, a healing break becoming stronger than before. "Come on then", she started, her steps turning from placid to thundering. "What are you waiting for?"

 

**************  
**************

 

With his hand no better, but no worse, than it had been in a few days, even with the prospect of overexerting himself so that he could find a way through Brienne's cool exterior, Jaime found it strange that he had been asked back onto a basketball court with a number of his old teammates. It would be the last time they would be all together, without whatever responsibilities were to follow when they became true adults in the eyes of the world. Though he was worse than awful, Jaime was grateful to be included one last time. Change was starting to be carried on the air everywhere he went, a mix of nervous excitement and fearful exhilaration, so his brother was becoming one of the few seniors who wasn't romanticising every single detail of the last few years.

If Jaime hadn't known better, he could have believed that it was the same level of nostalgia that had led to a representative of Tywin Lannister approaching him and Tyrion to discuss their plans for the future. But accepting that their father was breaking a habit of a lifetime by being concerned, rather than controlling, would have only worked had he not been offering company jobs, meaning that they would both be welcomed back with thousands of strings attached. The idea that Casterly could once again become the home Jaime wanted to return to tasted wrong in his mouth. If Brienne and him could continue on their path and get through the next couple of weeks without any major incidents, maybe they could start to think about talking over finding a place that would be a little more suitable for _their_ futures.

Lost in his thoughts, remembering Brienne's smile when she had tumbled victoriously out of the go cart the other day, Jaime made to open his unusually unlocked front door and nearly walked straight into his retreating brother.

"Shit, Tyrion!" Jaime swore, dropping his keys instead of trying to cover up the fact that his heart had skipped a shocked beat or two. "Do I need to get you a bell or something?"

His brother smiled up at him, ignoring the barely concealed irritation in the words. "You have a visitor."

"Please tell me it's not Father." Jaime caught the door just as it threatened to close, holding on in case they had to make a swiftly quiet exit. "Or Cersei."

"A very tall, beautifully blue eyed visitor", Tyrion continued. "Who may or may not have discussed winter sports with me while drinking a beer and then disappeared upstairs after she spilt most of said beer down herself."

_She gets clumsier when she's nervous._ "And?"

“Well, brother, let's just say I'm on my way out since I know when I'm not wanted."

Jaime rolled his eyes, the oppressiveness of his earlier mood lifting slightly at the prospect of spending an evening alone with Brienne. "What do you think we do when you're not around? There's a lot of school work and not much else. You _can_ stay. You might even learn something useful."

"Brother, I know you sometimes have to be slapped in the face before things make sense, and booty calls don't usually come wrapped up in plaid, but rest assured that's exactly what's going on here.”

He tried to push away the first thought that came to mind on hearing Tyrion jump to such a conclusion, that intentionally or not, she was trying to test his love with her unscheduled visit. It was a continual learning curve for him not to automatically compare what he knew was innate in Cersei's every action to what he could expect from Brienne, especially with them still tiptoeing around each other, but he was attempting not to see zebras in every hoof print. "Brienne wouldn't do that."

Tyrion slid through the gap Jaime had left between the door and the early summer evening, taking advantage of the time needed for his brother to work through the emotions associated with his girlfriend playing such an unexpected card. "I think she just did." A very familiar smirk spread across the younger man's features. "She basically told me she thought you two needed to ‘celebrate’ your final this morning.”

Jaime slammed the door shut before he could hear the explanation turn into laughter, and without pausing to consider why he was feeling like another argument was brewing, recklessly powered up the stairs to his room.

 

Barging into the space that was more shadows than light, he took in the still damp plaid shirt folded over a stone cold radiator and let his mouth run ahead of the little common sense he possessed. "I don't know what brought this on, Brienne, but I'm not interested in playing these kind of games with you." Jaime waited for the innocent bark of contradiction but on meeting only silence, he turned to find that Brienne had passed out in his bed, like falling asleep while waiting up for him was something she did every night.

He was still haunted by the memories of betrayal being brought back by the situation she had waded carelessly into, but there was a smile threatening his lips at seeing Brienne curled up and as relaxed as she'd been in weeks. She shouldn’t have been any prettier in sleep, days of waking up beside her had proven that point, but that night it granted her an air of happiness that seemed to soften all of her normally hard edges.

"Gods, Brienne, what are you trying to do to me?" He moved to smooth down the waves of hair that had fanned out across his pillows as she snuggled deeper under his comforter, a hand balled into a fist as if she was expecting an attack in her dreams. Leaning over to press a single chaste kiss to her forehead made her shift and murmur, bedclothes slipping to expose a plain of freckles across her skin, his favourite shirt, the one that had only just stopped smelling of vanilla, falling off her shoulder to expose a single satiny blue strap and more cleavage than he was expecting. Brienne tilted her head unconsciously towards his touch, sighing out his name in her heavy exhale and Jaime had to stop himself seconds before he threw caution to the wind and climbed into bed, wanting to wake her with kisses and let everything naturally escalate from there.

"We are going to discuss this in the morning, my love", he whispered, enjoying the way she instinctively shuffled closer to the warmth of his body, her lips brushing over his skin, acknowledgement that even dead to the world she might have heard and understood. "But I think it might be best if I sleep on the couch tonight", Jaime kissed her again as he lifted her head and stole one of the pillows Brienne had been infusing with the scent of her shampoo. "You really didn't need to do this to get my attention, you crazy stupid stubborn girl. I thought I'd already made it clear that I'm yours. No matter what."

" _Jaime_ ", she mumbled, deep asleep but calling out to the parts of him that didn't want to be left alone again.

He shifted the pillow under his arm, heading towards the door but unable to prevent himself from taking a final look back as if the sight of her back in his bed could keep him as warm as the reality of her body pressed up against him. "Sweet dreams, Brienne."

 

**************

Brienne grumbled as she failed to push away the signals telling her to open her eyes, wondering why every breath was filling her head with the powerfully rousing smell of Jaime and burnt bacon. Since Sansa was dabbling with vegetarianism again and Margaery didn't usually face the kitchen until at least lunchtime, it took her hazy mind a little while to realise that the immensely comfortable bed she was reluctant to leave was, in fact, Jaime's and, despite any fumbling fatigued attempts to the contrary, most of her clothes from the day before were still on. Her cheeks flamed a shameful scarlet as she remembered an earlier conversation with Margaery that had almost led to her deliberately spending a night away from home, though Brienne wasn't sure if it was Jaime's new found self control, her inability to put her baser intentions into action, or the fact that she had been drinking with Tyrion that had produced her current predicament.

She could hear someone rustling around downstairs, humming along to an obnoxious dance beat, and if she hadn't just worked through the strain of the last few weeks, Brienne might have been tempted to disappear without an awkward apology. The bed springs screeched in protest as she rolled to cool her burning face against the wall, and the sound of Jaime's irritation bubbling up the stairs as he started to sing along to the radio both cut through and intensified her tingling headache.

Trying to buy valuable composure time, she put Jaime's bed back to the state she'd found it in and folded her now dry shirt into a coat pocket, with the silent promise she would return the one she was wearing as soon as possible. The floorboards signalled her approach every step of the way, reminders of when she had easily found his most ticklish spots as talk of her junior competition schedule bled into playful passion before Jaime retaliated and her knees weakened beneath the careful touch of his tongue. It also surfaced times of telling him that she was feeling suffocated by all the attention, which seemed less important now then falling deeper in love, tired muscles and racing hearts and so much emotion she was terrified by the continued intensity of it all. Brienne took a deep breath, hearing her stomach growl in frustrated hunger, and pushed the door open to face whatever damage she had managed to create.

"You're awake", Jaime commented from the table she had only seen used once or twice, not looking up from the newspaper spread open in front of him. It would have felt effortlessly domestic if not for the apologetic thump of her heart. "I would ask what you thought you were doing last night but it seems a little unnecessary." His eyes caught a glance of her embarrassment and he either didn't care or couldn't stop himself in time. "I'm not that stupid."

Brienne sank down into the chair being slowly pushed out, breathing in the steam coming off a mug of coffee he'd left out for her. "I know", she whispered, barely audible around shuddering sips. "I'm sorry... I didn't think. Or I thought too much. I'm sorry, Jaime."

"You need to understand how it looked before you pile on the apologies", he growled though there was little bite hiding in the tone. "I just didn't think I would need to jump through hoops to prove anything to _you_. I'm here, but I don't need to be tempted with rewards and favours because you suddenly need to test the barriers of this 'friendship'. We decided together that it would be best for both of us to go slow for a while."

"That's not what I was doing, I... I missed you", Brienne blurted out, wondering if the rising goosebumps were being caused by emeralds washing over her skin but loosing the courage needed to check and make certain. "I missed you", she repeated, feeling her head throb anew. "After you took me out the other day I thought you might like to celebrate as well and I really didn’t mean to... You've been waiting so patiently and Margaery said... I'm _sorry_."

"Fucking saboteur", Jaime muttered under his breath, but his hand landed on top of hers for a heartbeat. "I'm waiting", he squeezed her hand before moving away. "And if you think you need to drink to initiate sex then you're clearly not ready again."

"I didn't even have _two_ drinks last night", she spluttered. "I was barely tipsy. And you should blame your brother for that, not my best friend."

"I'll talk to him later, he should be made aware of the signs. You always get maudlin, then affectionate and then you fall asleep", he found a knowing smile as she lifted her head from the coffee cup. "Lightweight."

"Lannister."

"Hear me roar." Jaime ran his fingers through his hair and watched her yawn and flinch. "Though I haven't come across many people who are hungover the morning after being 'barely tipsy'."

"I am not hungover!”

He raised an eyebrow but she held her ground, cold blue coming into contact with warm green. "But you're not about to turn down the aspirin I'm going to get, are you?"

She shook her head and in what felt like less time than it took for her to blink, Jaime was placing the pills on the table and hovering over her shoulder, hot and humid breath burrowing under the borrowed shirt. "I doubt you'll listen to me, but you should hold onto whatever thought made you buy your new underwear", he purred. "Because I hope there will come a day when you truly embrace how sexy you look in it." Brienne squirmed a little in her seat, embarrassed all over again, torn between looking back at him and staring resolutely ahead.

"It was laundry day, I didn't mean... you don't have to say..."

"I want to." She twisted her head away from the shivers his breath was leaving behind and his nose brushed over the line of her jaw. "Blue has always been a good colour on you."

“Jaime.” She tried to spit out a warning, although it became closer to a sigh as his mouth almost came in contact with the arch of her neck, breathing new life into old habits. “Do you maybe want to walk me home?”

Brienne felt him take a step back, the ghost of their current reality rushing back in, finally allowing her to fill her screaming lungs properly. “Aren’t you at least going to stay for breakfast? From personal experience, some grease might help with how you look like you’re feeling.”

She watched him saunter back to his seat like they hadn’t almost been at other’s throats, both verbally and literally, narrowing her eyes even though it hurt a little to do so. “For the last time, I’m not hungover!”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.” Jaime grinned in a way that made it difficult for her to protest, attempting to push all of her buttons until she rolled her eyes in defeat.

“If I get food poisoning, I will kill you.”

“Oh ye of little faith”, he volleyed back. “But if you must know, I burnt everything just to be on the safe side. Tyrion’s rules of cooking.”

Brienne bit her lip to stop the laugh that wanted to burst out at how earnest Jaime was trying to be, like the whole exchange was a joke they played around with on a regular basis. “I can stay.”

“Good. You know I’d hate for this to have any kind of impact on your abilities when we next spar. It would become so tedious if I won every time now.”

“Shut your mouth.”

“Now where would be the fun in that?”

She blinked twice and rode the twitch of her lips out into a genuinely surprised smile. “I really don’t know."

Jaime seemed to be almost taken aback by the smile that quickly echoed her own. "But I'm sure you could think of something. Eventually."

 

**************

It wasn't in Jaime's nature to dwell on any guilt he felt over what had or hadn't happened in his life. Although it was true there were things he wasn't particularly proud of in hindsight, in those defining moments there hadn't seemed a better course of action than the one he'd chosen.

Unbeknownst to the Sunday lunch call waiting for him to return, as he walked Brienne companionably home, Jaime wondered if there wasn't another defining moment hiding in all of their actions and reactions over the past few days. His bad cooking had worked miracles, allowing them to return to their usual double act of banter and innuendo long before she could fall through her door. There was a question on the tip of his tongue as Brienne waved and he caught her hand before it dropped back down to her side, wondering if she needed tucking into her bed, as he wouldn’t have minded spending the day doing nothing with her, finding that despite his earlier words, the feeling of missing something just out of reach was more than mutual. Jaime wanted to tell her that he knew they were working things out, that their road to recovery only had a few more steps on it, but instead, he crossed the drawn battle line and brushed his lips over her cheek.

"If only I could read your mind", he intoned without much thought. It was something he had taken for granted for so long. There had been a weird telepathy between him and Cersei, but once Brienne went on the defensive, though she had been doing it less often recently, there were new difficulties in finding a way through. "I'm learning to listen but it's not the same."

"Well, you couldn't be in my head anymore than you already are." From her tone, Jaime suspected she had meant to mimic the mockery that occasionally bled through into his own words, but he was instantly too intrigued to let the joke dissipate into the morning sunshine.

"I don't know, I could always use some new material. Dirty thoughts or otherwise."

Brienne blushed, as he was expecting, unable to stop herself conceding to the lure of discomfort. "Who said my thoughts were 'dirty'?"

"Your face just did."

"Jaime", she muttered in something nearing weariness, closing her eyes to the rays which were gilding her freckled skin and forcing Jaime to realise that no matter how many times she said it, he would never tire of hearing Brienne utter his name. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow and the next day", he tested, Brienne's infinitesimal nod the encouragement he needed to go on. "And every day after if you want."

"Every day", she repeated shyly, as if tasting the idea, hovering between serious and the only witticisms she would ever feel comfortable using. "Could you just hold on for a second please? I've got something to give you."

Brienne was only gone a matter of seconds before she was handing over an unsealed envelope, meeting his unasked question with a shyness which he had never wanted to notice on another woman. "We talked it over the other night and all agreed."

He emptied the envelope into his palm as she shifted her weight from side to side, and felt an overwhelming surge of love as a single newly made key fell out. 

"I'll be staying here, at least until school is over, but you are _always_ welcome."

It wasn't what Jaime had been expecting though, as Brienne stepped into his opening arms and moved close enough to hug him back, he supposed everything had only ever been a matter of time.

 

**************  
**************

 

"Move over", Brienne prodded Jaime into a more upright position on her sofa, indicating that he should put the TV remote down. He had been channel surfing since he'd arrived almost a full half hour earlier, laptop and books abandoned in favour of stretching out and trying to find something of interest to watch. Brienne knew better than to leave him alone, especially when it appeared there was something Jaime wanted to discuss. Thankfully they had shared a friendly doorstep hug, even after her disastrous attempt at seduction earlier in the week, and she was trying a softer approach.

"Just let me sit down for two minutes, Jaime."

He grumbled something about the girls needing to get a bigger sofa, reluctantly pulling himself up to hold her gaze for a second longer than was probably necessary. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Brienne looked down at her hands and back to his eyes, not moving from where she hovered over him. "I may have tried something ridiculous."

"Worse than falling asleep in my bed half dressed?"

"Possibly", she attempted a smile which didn't hold much warmth and pushed the conversation back to Jaime. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I can go if you're in the middle of something but", he paused, looking like he was fighting off an approaching grin. "I thought you'd like to know I got an 82 on Qyburn's paper."

Although her head filled with a dozen congratulatory phrases and another dozen reminding Jaime not to get overly cocky, since it was just one paper, her heart burst at the pride in his eyes and the need for her to share in it, leading her body to move before she could speak a single word. It took no effort at all to put one hand on the back of the sofa, the other going to cradle Jaime's jaw so she could dip her head low enough to kiss him. Brienne hoped he knew the touch wasn't a reward of any kind, just a way to embrace both old and new emotions to show how much she truly cared about him.

It was possibly the messiest kiss they'd ever shared, lips meeting and moving like strangers, like somehow in the past month and a half Brienne had forgotten how much practice she had needed before she had really begun to understand kissing. A small noise of need rumbled in her throat as Jaime stayed a little hesitant under her fervour, pummelling the frustration of the past few days into the touches. His arms held her steady, even as he finally pulled her down into his lap, like the fear she would lash out should they move much faster was preventing him from acting on his own desires.

"Why?" Jaime asked as he gave her room to catch her breath, the question ghosting across her cheek, green eyes glimmering with excitement. He could only laugh into her mouth when she moved to kiss him again, the pair of them falling into rhythms that had just as much to do with unspoken love as lust.

As Brienne started to encourage his good hand to move from where it was resting neatly at her waist, Jaime pulled away with a confused look on his face. "Is something burning?"

"Crap!" Brienne tried to hide her face in the crook of his neck as embarrassment and arousal swirled and reddened her skin. "I was trying to tell you that I was attempting to make us dinner."

His lips hovered over her jaw, not really touching but not moving either. "And now I can't help but wonder what you would have done if he'd given me a 92."

"Keep wondering", she smiled as Jaime placed a tender kiss to the corner of her mouth, following it up with a less than subtle flick of his tongue along her slowly swelling lower lip. "Until then, you'll just have to deal with pasta."

Brienne felt his lips twitch against her skin but Jaime stopped himself before claiming her mouth again. Instead, he gently pushed Brienne to her feet, indicating that she should go and rescue their dinner from the imminent peril it was facing. "Any more surprises I should know about?"

“They wouldn’t be surprises if I told you.”

Jaime pouted for a second as she stopped to stare, calling out loud enough that she heard the echo of his voice all the way to the kitchen. "For the record, I don't think you're supposed to warn me in advance of these things."

 

The food was a little singed around the edges but salvageable enough so that Brienne's efforts hadn't gone completely to waste. And even though the recipe was one she had borrowed from Sansa's book of Stark secrets, Jaime was sufficiently impressed to remain quiet until his plate had been just about cleared.

"That wasn't half bad", he announced, looking content and relaxed as he settled deeper into the sofa cushion. "If you don't mind an aftertaste of charcoal. So I guess it's a good thing I'm not getting used to the idea of you cooking like some kind of domestic goddess."

Brienne glanced down at his empty plate and rolled her eyes warmly. "Maybe, but I'm not opposed to trying it again at some point. I mean when..." She trailed off in the hope that Jaime wouldn't have noticed the slip. "If we..."

"When we what?" Jaime interrupted, a little intrigued but more amused if she was reading him correctly.

"Would you just let me finish?"

"Only if you promise to get to a point in the next thirty seconds."

"I was getting there!" She took a deep breath, her thoughts going to tequila and tricks both in and out of the bedroom, but there was a truth burning behind her lips that couldn't be ignored for much longer. "I was wondering… when we both can find the courage to admit _this_ isn't going to work for much longer."

Jaime wouldn't or couldn't look at her, though his left hand found her thigh and started to clench the muscle in a steady rhythm. "I don't want you to fall into bed with me any night of the week just because you're horny and then act like you didn't want it later. I can't go back to living like that."

She placed her hand over his, squeezing tightly to stop him moving. "Jaime."

"I'm in love with you, Brienne. I need to hear that you're with me."

She closed her eyes, confessions bubbling over, although neither could hold the other's gaze fully. "Even when I thought I hated you... when I thought I didn't want us to be together, I couldn't stop loving you. I want to be with you. For as long as you'll have me."

The sofa shifted under her, making Brienne feel like she had read the situation wrong and Jaime was retreating back to a safer space. But then, the air shifted and he was much too close for it to be another fantasy.

"Do you want me to stay?"

" _Yes_."

"I want to touch you again", he murmured over her cheek, holding back a little longer. "I've missed being with you."

"Just take it slow", she pleaded quietly, taking a gentle breath that matched his in her ear. "I don’t want to be without you anymore either, but..." Jaime caught her lips mid sentence, purring and playful, reminding her of how good they could be together.

They stayed like that for what seemed an eternity to Brienne, whispering and kissing and touching, relearning each other's rhythms, reminders that each movement was fuelled by more than just lust and could be the first tiny steps towards something lasting. With entwined hands and eager mouths, but before they considered pushing past another point of no return, she told him of the possibility of staying on at Kings and what exactly those kinds of plans could mean for them out in the wide world. Jaime let the words settle, holding them as carefully as he held her, and knocked each one back with reassurances that made her feel supported and insulted and loved all at once.

"We should have more than enough time to figure all of that out later", Jaime growled, impatiently grinding against her, trying to release some of the ache he was obviously starting to feel as soon as Brienne had settled comfortably underneath him to make the most of making out with him again. The way he moved left little room for any misunderstanding in her mind and, despite the weeks they had tried to just be friends, as they fell back together, Brienne found she wanted to savour each of the loving touches she'd been consciously craving, even if they hadn't shed a single piece of clothing yet.

"Jaime", his name was like honey on her tongue, slow and sweet and completely wanted again. Her unusually steady hands provided an answer to his silent questions, starting to peel away denim and cotton as if Brienne could somehow remove all of her misplaced fear and insecurities along with the material. "Can we just be kissing now?"

"You're breaking all your rules", Jaime teased into her neck as they both shifted slightly in order to get even closer, an arm across her shoulders, a hand in his hair, every word punctuated with increasingly heated kisses. Although it wasn't the first time, they both knew and wanted the other's body too much for any glancing touch to seem accidental or clumsy. Still, to Brienne it could only feel like something new.

"No kissing, no touching." Jaime was still taunting, wanting a reaction as her skin flamed to life while he danced fleeting fingertips along surfaces that were becoming exposed to him. Through duelling murmurs of love and assurance, she felt her self doubt begin to disappear. Jaime was also forgetting his earlier hesitations, encouraging her to return touches as he painstakingly finished undressing without really moving from his current position.

"I think..." her breath caught as Jaime slipped a hand between her legs, languid circles causing soft sighs to become the kind of moans which would have embarrassed Brienne had she not been completely focused on the pooling desire his touches were amplifying. "These might be...” his fingers pushed and thrust and curled, his name becoming a curse and a prayer on her lips. "Worth breaking."

"Your damn right they are." His lips seared a path along her collarbone, the column of her neck, feather light over her face and breasts as she offered herself fully to him. "Not that I'm complaining because we're naked in your front room and you look stunning stretched out like this", Jaime hissed as she took him in her hand and slowly remembered how to tease back. "But should we go upstairs before...?"

Brienne shook her head, making a choice that could very well change everything. And the way he was looking down at her could only mean he now understood that her need for distance at times didn't mean she cared any less, but more. Her words were whispers, though only one man needed to hear them and he was already so close. "Make love to me."

"Gladly, my love."

Jaime gently pushed away the last of Brienne’s deep seated fears as he guided himself into her, the constant voice in her ear purring only of love and want and how good she felt around him. At one point they would have seemed to be promises he would never be able to keep, promises Brienne had given her heart to, only to be hurt by them, but after everything, she was finally beginning to accept the truth beneath the surface. Hooking her legs tighter around him, Brienne started to meet his tongue in her mouth with as much vigour as any one of their sparring sessions, hands trying to memorise the way muscles tensed and rolled, both becoming fully alive as their agreed upon separation unravelled in the sweetest way.

"Bri", Jaime panted out her name as veins filled with liquid lust pushed them faster and faster, trying to wait for her so they could fall together. "Do I need to get you a dictionary so you can find out what 'slow' actually means?"

Her reply was lost in a cry of desire, his hand gripping into her thigh as Jaime found enough balance to sweep over a pleasure point he knew far too well. Brienne pushed her fingers deeper into his hair as she began to loose control of the building pressure travelling up her legs and down her spine, eyes eventually closing as her back arched to push her blissfully sated body even closer into Jaime. He released mere seconds later with a groan that was only muffled as he'd sought out the comfort of her lips again. Kisses continued to rain languidly, touching because they could and wanted to, not because it was leading to anything else, not tonight anyway. Brienne carefully ran her hand through his hair and down his sweat soaked back as Jaime settled his head on her chest, relaxing in the familiarity of the action.

 

"So", he murmured into her skin as they recovered, Brienne feeling him blink flirtatiously over the breast he had decided to claim as he lay half on top of her. "I guess we're back together."

Brienne started to smile, trying to let the afterglow wash over her, reveling in the feeling of being able to breathe deeply even under his weight. "You know we're going to be in so much trouble if Margaery finds out we had sex on the sofa."

"I don't care", he stated against her neck, claiming as much of her skin as he could, only pausing his movements as they heard a car pull up outside the house, familiar voices flowing in from the night. "But I’m not opposed to moving if you really want us to try out your bed again."

Settling somewhere between blanching and blushing, Brienne pushed him away and attempted to stand on trembling thighs, shrieking as Jaime reached out to catch her in his arms. His smile was wide with unreserved laughter, looking like he was thinking about carrying her up the stairs, like after the Valentine's Day party that had awoken their deeper feelings for each other.

"It's like you want to be caught", he laughed as Brienne wriggled out of his reach to scoop up clothes and books on her way out of the room, disappearing before her overwhelming blush could be seen by more than just Jaime.

 

He took so long to join her that Brienne half expected to hear her friends scream and swear at finding a highly attractive, but extremely naked, man in their house. But by the time she had thrown on a t-shirt and found a comfortable position on her stomach, Jaime strolled through the bedroom door without a care in the world, even as she heard Sansa and Margaery fall through the front door in giggles. His delight was palpable as he landed beside her, still unashamedly undressed, and handed over a rattling box.

"I would have loved to see your face when you asked your doctor for birth control."

"It was necessary", Brienne fought to look anywhere but directly at him, finding it difficult to replay the highly embarrassing conversation. "She was... very nice about the whole thing."

"You couldn't keep your hands off me any longer, I understand."

Her hand closed in on a pillow in that moment and, with a less than a graceful roll, Brienne straddled the beautiful blond man back in her bed, threatening to smother him if he didn't shut up.

Jaime's hand caught her wrist with ease, studying her face as her threats never went past half hearted. "Put it down, Brienne. I'd hate to be the first Lannister to die from suffocation by a pillow."

"How did you get so arrogant?"

"You've seen me", Jaime raised an eyebrow as she stared back. "All of me. On multiple occasions."

"I have", Brienne countered as boldly as she could, his eyes twinkling with enjoyment as he bucked and writhed in an attempt to unseat her. She used her strength against him, hands pushing Jaime's shoulders into the bed so that his movements stilled. "I guess you'll do."

"That's not what you were saying when I was inside you. I think it was something along the lines of ' _Oh gods, Jaime._ '"

Brienne rolled her eyes through a smile she didn't want to push away, Jaime locking both arms around her back as he shuffled up with her still comfortably settled on top of him. She moved to initiate a kiss but he spoke before she could completely close the gap. "I think we left my laptop downstairs."

"Shit, do you want me to go…”

"You're fine where you are." Jaime did move to kiss her then, hard enough to steal her breath so Brienne couldn’t disagree with him for a few heady seconds. "You know you've only got yourself to blame with all this studying. Winter is coming and I'm determined not to miss my own graduation, not after the work we’ve both put in to get me there. Can you imagine my father's face when he realises what we've done?"

"Can you not talk about your father when you’re naked, please?”

“ _We’re_ naked, you mean”, Jaime teased, his hands slipping under her shirt, pushing the material up over her ribs so he could place a kiss to familiar toned stomach muscles.

"Are you sure you don't want to... again?" Brienne laughed around a low humming moan.

"The word is 'fuck', sweetling, and always. But as much as I want to make you scream", he swept his lips over her skin again, pushing her shirt up higher so that he could sweep his tongue over the pebbling bud made visible by his actions. "I think", Jaime suckled for a thoughtful second and she tightened her thighs around him, seeking out friction to stave off the ache she thought had been sated downstairs. "We should try and get some actual work done, at least when there are other people in your house. Tomorrow, when we're alone again, all bets are off."

“Sorry", Brienne shuffled off him, inwardly cursing for not thinking before she spoke and hid her burning face as she passed over a book from the top of the misplaced pile.

"You say that a lot, don't you?" He stretched and laid back, sounding like he had no idea why she was so quick to apologise but happy to go along with it for a while, starting to sarcastically read passages aloud from Baelish's senior year course book.

"Have you got anything else you could look at?" Brienne poked him in the stomach with her elbow, having chosen to hide behind her own notes. She only had the one exam left and though her worries were still there, they were becoming easier to deal with. "I don't like the idea that he's somehow watching us."

"If you were that way inclined, we could probably give him a good show."

"Jaime!"

"Though I'd rather keep you to myself", he shrugged, running his eyes over what little freckled skin was on offer, but in the process starting to scan the text more quietly.

 

It took Brienne a while to get to the last page of her notebook, bouncing between contented and distracted as she couldn't help but keep a watchful eye on Jaime. There was a profound difference between reading through awkward silences at her kitchen table or in his living room and feeling comfortably relaxed as they lay side by side, not touching but still feeling closer than they had been in a long time.

"I want you to sleep here tonight", she whispered some time later, feeling a yawn threatening along her jaw, the words in front of her blurring into nonsense. Sansa and Margaery had yet to crawl upstairs, but that only meant they were still digesting whatever the night had brought them. "If _you_ still want to, I mean.”

Jaime abandoned his book and pulled Brienne against him. "You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm not going anywhere until you push me out the door tomorrow morning."

"Just tonight", she told his shoulder, another yawn becoming an excuse to breathe him in. "Otherwise you might have to start paying rent."

"Bring it on, I'm loaded. I sold a very expensive sports car not that long ago."

Brienne frowned at his easy retort even as she closed her eyes, skin and muscle far more comfortable than her pillows. "There's still so much to figure out, we need..."

"To be a 'we'. Leave your rules behind for once and live a little."

"Tomorrow and every day after that?"

"Exactly, we've got time. Though if your definition of slow stands, my tongue might just end up between your thighs in the morning." Jaime replied without a trace of mockery as he arranged her pile of blankets around them, his other arm making sure Brienne wasn't going anywhere quickly.

"And then what?"

"Whatever we want."

"I really do love you", she mumbled into his chest, sleep claiming her ever so slowly.

"I know. Me too." He kissed her forehead, rubbing stubble against the bridge of her nose in an action that sent Brienne squirming. She threw a leg around him as she moved, Jaime's hand splaying over her hip. "Just promise me, whatever happens, however many fights we have or if we do end up fucking every night, you won't forget what exists and matters between us."

“I swear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	28. If I were perfect then there'd be no room for asking to fill this place by my side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation day dawns with a few surprises along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we come to the end.
> 
> This has been a real labour of love and there's a part of me that thinks my writers block has been related to not wanting to let this go. It was my re-introduction to writing and I've learned so much along the way and met so many people I now consider to be friends.
> 
> This wouldn't have come about if not for the brilliant RoseHeart. It was this story that introduced us to each other and for that I will forever be grateful. Her support and friendship can't be quantified and I can't thank her enough. I'd also like to thank almostabeauty and Sandwiches for their enthusiasm and general support even when they had so much else going on. And to all the lovely ladies on JBO and everyone who has commented or enjoyed, it's meant so much to have your continued support and re-reading your comments always makes me smile.
> 
> And although this story is finishing, I've still got so many more ideas for JB fics! My next multi chapter fic is nearly finished and should be posting January/February time.
> 
> Again, sorry it's taken so long. I really hope you all enjoy :) Chapter title is taken from Kiss On by Tyler Hilton

"Jaime." His name left her lips in a murmur that was all sound and little sense, feeling his fingers run through her hair. Catching tangles that had been encouraged the night before, he tugged just hard enough for her to be drawn closer to the warmth of his solid body by her side. "What time is it?"

"Early." Jaime's lips brushed over hers and she smiled into the gentle greeting. "I didn't mean to wake you, but I've been called into work. Apparently world events don't stop for my girlfriend's graduation."

Brienne considered pushing him out of bed for making her seem overly self-important but the growl in his throat as she slid her knee up his thigh and wrapped her arms around his back nearly made her stop thinking all together. She snuggled into his shoulder, not quite awake but still finding little need to complain as their schedules hadn't been in sync enough recently for her to turn down any chance at tenderness. But before she could ask him to hold her and let drowsiness take them back into sweet dreams, practicalities beat their way to the forefront of her mind. "Then why are you still here?"

"Like I said, it's early." He pulled her flush against him, Jaime's grinning face hovering inches away from her own and she closed her eyes as he began to search for a hidden sensitivity behind her ear. "And you smell so good, I'm glad I don't have to go anywhere yet."

She gasped as he nipped and nuzzled, any nerves which could have been lingering about the speech Goodwin and Catelyn had asked her to give that afternoon being proudly vanquished from her head. "That's not really an answer, Jaime."

"It's the only one you're getting, Brienne." He groaned as he rolled off her and out of bed, providing her with a perfect view of the taut muscles in his back and ass as he picked through their discarded clothing lying on the floor. "Just remind your dad to save me a seat this afternoon."

"He knows." She turned over to watch him stretch, trying not to catch his eye as he deliberately extended the movement, showing off for his favourite audience. "Jeyne wanted to know if we were free for dinner tonight. One of her friends from culinary school has opened a new restaurant in the city and it's supposed to be really good."

Jaime's face dropped dramatically as she finished talking and Brienne quickly sat up, bedclothes slipping over a loosely translucent tank top and down to her waist as she back peddled. "I'm sorry, did I forget we were doing something..."

"No, it's fine. It can wait," he bit into a smile which seemed to suggest and promise things he was more than capable of delivering on and Brienne felt a blush swirl to life and trail the length of her body, barely dressed in more than freckles. "Shower?"

Sighing for effect, rather than feeling anywhere close to irritated, she wrapped a sheet tightly around her torso and picked out a path across the room. The first time they'd tried to share a shower, after he'd finished laughing, Jaime had made sure to check each of her slowly forming bruises until he'd gotten distracted and she was reduced to an exhausted, quivering wreck. And he'd never let her forget it. "Just don't blame me if you're late."

"I'll have you back in bed in half an hour. Scouts honour."

"You were never a scout. Fifteen minutes."

He licked his lips and Brienne guessed he'd be on his knees in two, if she was lucky. "That's very ambitious of you, considering the sun hasn't come up yet. Or did you have another dirty dream you want to try and re-enact?"

"Jaime," she grumbled, reaching for his hand as her blush deepened. It was a reaction Brienne hadn't managed to shake, though her habitual responses seemed to excite him almost as much as her touches.

"Louder," he purred, his recovered right hand merely grazing her fingers before settling on her hip. Moulding her back to his chest, Brienne found herself quickly but comfortably caged in his arms.

"Later," she shivered, his slowly stroking fingers getting closer to stoking the fire that was burning in her core. "You have neighbours."

"Just say the word and we can always talk about having less neighbours."

"I thought you wanted to... _fuck_ me," she breathed, Jaime humming in aroused approval against her skin as his fingers insinuated themselves between her legs, mouthing at the well-worn straps of her excuse for clothing, the material having become so threadbare that he could see her skin painting with desire, tenting slightly over her chest as a thumb moved to explore softer flesh. "Not discuss moving in together again."

"Since all these sleepovers haven't made us want to kill each other, I thought we might want to consider a few options." Jaime pushed her forward a step with his hips and she arched back into him, his breathing as heavy as the sensations she was feeling in her tensing, well rested muscles. Abandoning the motions that were making her rapidly lose control, he ran his hands up her sides, Brienne obediently lifting her arms as he stripped her top away and dropped it to the floor.

"You could always move in here," he tried to casually offer as he kissed her shoulder for incentive.

It had been a little over a year since they had reconciled their differences and reconnected in her front room, the morning after welcoming none of the awkwardness Brienne had been expecting as she returned each of his lovingly languid touches, kissing and caressing their way through the sleep clinging to their limbs and closer towards passionate rediscovery. Although she'd now lost count of the number of times they had tumbled into bed together, occasionally too exhausted to do anything more than curl around each other and sleep, Brienne hadn't lost much of her modesty when faced with Jaime's lack thereof. He seemed to delight in finding new ways of making her blush, his state of the art new apartment becoming a battle ground where clothing was, from time to time, an optional extra.

Jaime had presented her with a key and a drawer and a toothbrush the evening after he'd signed the yearlong lease, grinning like he'd won every lottery known to man when Brienne shyly commented about making up his bed, since it was getting late. They had christened his kitchen table and newly lain floors in the weeks following that initial night, where they'd forgone undressing to talk into the sunrise instead, dipping between their fears and desires, skirting around what ‘us’ really meant to them both.

"I would want to pay my own way. I can't do that here."

"You always have to make things so difficult," he murmured fondly, removing his arm from across her searing skin to open the bathroom door. It was a mark of how accepting of herself she had become that it took Brienne a little longer than normal to attempt to cover her now exposed breasts. "We've been happy here."

She didn't think she was trying to dispute that fact. They _had_ been happy. They'd also had their ups and downs, but had made up after each fight with few grudges held longer than the next sunset, growing closer in the process. And, most importantly, she was learning to accept that their natural inclination to bicker didn't necessarily mean an end was in sight, as long as they also remembered to share their success as well as bemoan their failures.

"Do I sound unhappy?" she panted, entwining her fingers through where Jaime had rested his hand on her chest, already worrying that they didn't have time right now to both discuss a myriad of tomorrows and enjoy themselves. "Are you sure you're not needed at work yet?"

The pride she felt over how Jaime had gained his researcher role at one of the local newspapers, refusing to fall back on his familial connections, wasn't calculable but the exhaustion that came from the ridiculously early mornings did make him more prone to fall back on erratic recklessness. Ice cream sundae dinners and accidental pink shirts and strangely gymnastic sex had stopped bothering her so much, but his sharp words still had a way of cutting deeper than she liked.

They had managed to come to an agreement about returning to Tarth for a few days leading up to Christmas, both a little apprehensive about setting foot again on the same island which had fostered them into a false sense of security. Brienne, however, had been quietly fuelled by the idea of showing and sharing her family's somewhat unusual traditions before her and Jaime found their own. The time away from places they had come to think of as home passed almost too quickly, every non blizzard filled hour becoming a blur of running and climbing and exploring. And on Christmas Eve, in the hazy aftermath of the gentlest, most intimate moments they'd had in weeks, Brienne half heard, half imagined Jaime asking her to marry him.

She couldn't find an answer for him as her heart raced, lost in a maze of thoughts which kept pulling her back to how six months felt like a lifetime and no time at all, that the comfort and romance, or excessive amounts of eggnog and mistletoe, were affecting him as before. But, as the words formed to try and respectfully laugh off the suggestion, Jaime started to snore. Brienne eventually fell asleep beside him, full of too much love and bubbling self-doubt to rest properly. He didn't bring up the idea again and she didn't ask, the whole thing near forgotten by the time New Year rolled around to let them discover that Casterly was nearly as cold and awkward as Tarth had been welcoming.

"Why? Am I boring you?" Jaime suckled at her ear lobe, pulling out a moan that was much too loud for so early in the morning, successfully bringing her back to the present.

" _No_. I'd just be happier if we talked about this later. This...this next step should be a partnership. I don't need to be..."

"Kept?"

"Something like that."

"It's too late, my love." He span her around and she found her back pressed against the wall less than a breath later. "I don't want to return you."

 _I wouldn't want to be returned to what I was._ "You're going to be late," she warned, carding her fingers through his hair as Jaime began to sink down to the floor, peppering fiery freckles with lingering open mouthed kisses.

"It'll be worth it just this once," he playfully batted back, glints of green smouldering skyward as he blew out a breath and she immediately tightened her grip, unequivocally under his spell. "Happy graduation day, Brienne."

*******

Jaime tucked her back into their bed exactly eighteen minutes after she had first moaned his name that morning, sleepy and sated with her damp hair curling haphazardly around her shoulders. He would have loved to stay with Brienne for another couple of hours, her graduation ceremony was one of the last of the day and her friends weren't due to meet her until much later, but, as she lifted the blanket and languidly rearranged her limbs, his phone cried out demandingly.

"Rain check?" he asked as she frowned up at him, watching him check the flashing message that sent blood pounding through his body. She knew him so well that he was loathe to give anything more away, ignoring his rushing heart that had only just slowed down to a normal speed in order to smirk back at her. "What are you doing tomorrow?" _What are you doing for the rest of your life?_

"My dad wants to see the museum.” She tried to fight the approaching yawn but it hit anyway, parting her wide lips and revealing teeth he'd forgotten to think of as equine. "I've got behind the scenes access and he's interested in all the medals that aren't on show at the minute."

"And I suppose you're taking him to see the mock joust at the weekend?" he drawled, the implication half-hearted as he hadn't, and wouldn't, ever say anything derogatory about the show Brienne had spent months helping put together. Though he was learning to play it cooler than he really wanted to when it came to showering her with attention, he found himself falling deeper after seeing how much pride and love she had radiated once the echo of the standing ovation had faded into silence. The scrappy bunch of local kids that had enrolled in Knight School the previous summer had taken to valour and honour and chivalry like it had been in their blood all along, following 'Ser Lady Brienne' around with adoration in their eyes. And the joust, completed with the gentlest ponies she'd managed to borrow and under the ever watchful gaze of several experts, was now the highlight of the semester long programme.

"Don't think you can be mean about my kids," Brienne grumbled, pulling the layers of thin blankets up to her chin. "They've all worked really hard to get to this point. Willow's..."

" _Your_ kids?" Jaime forgot about his pressing engagement for a second, balancing on the edge of the bed so that he could stroke through Brienne's hair as she blushed endearingly.

"You know what I meant... I see them as much as I see the fencers and... they... they're..." she yawned again, tired but not quite tired enough to forgo arching her neck as he grazed his lips over her dappled, sun kissed forehead.

"You're all heart, Tarth," Jaime murmured into her skin, his phone letting out another attention seeking squeak.

"Shut up," she breathed, snuggling further under the covers, watching and waiting until he reached over to set their old fashioned alarm clock before letting her eyes close. "And go to work."

Jaime lay another barely realised kiss at her hairline, listening to his girlfriend sigh softly as he pushed himself up off the mattress. He had thought he'd seen the worst of her nerves during finals, but waking up alone after falling asleep with her hand over his weakened one, listening to Brienne pacing holes in the carpet on the other side of the wall, provided him with both an awful sense of déjà vu and a deep longing to comfort her. However amusing it might have been to tell the story of her falling asleep at her own graduation, he couldn't in good conscience let her spend the night before such a big event writing and rewriting a single sentence twenty times over. Besides, he had plans that didn't involve her not making it to dinner.

"Jaime?" she called out as his hand hit the bedroom door, her back to him but her voice clear.

"Hmmmm?"

"I love you too."

The butterflies rose in his throat and he wondered, not for the first time, if nerves were contagious.

*******

Less than an hour later, Jaime found himself staring absently at the screen in front of him, barely able to keep up with the flashing images and pinging emails that signalled the early morning rush of potentially newsworthy information, unable to stop thinking about Brienne curled up in bed as he weeded out the facts from a particularly histrionic witness statement. Slowly getting caught up in his new working world, Jaime let out a sigh as his cell vibrated impatiently from his jacket pocket, ready to remind his stubborn girlfriend about the importance of rest, until he saw the flashing caller ID.

"Big day, big brother," came Tyrion's voice down the line, rejoicing in the fact that he, too, was now only mere hours away from graduating with a highly sought after international relations qualification. He even had a job lined up in Meereen. "And that's not only for those of us in our cap and gowns. Did you manage to collect everything you need for later or do you need some help?"

Jaime had almost instantly regretted mentioning anything about what he had planned after the ceremony. "I have enough," he decided noncommittally.

"Keys or ring? Or both? I know Aunt Genna's been in touch."

"Enough."

"I don't know why you need a new place anyway, you practically live together as it is. Just have her move in with you."

"It's not that easy," Jaime began, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "When have you ever known Brienne to 'just' do anything?"

"And you're still going to ask? Interesting tactic," Tyrion mused with a laugh that emphasised the note of nervous excitement mixing in with Jaime's obvious adoration. "But it's been…what?...sixteen, seventeen months? If he knew, Father would think this is right on schedule. And if you were any other couple, I might agree."

Jaime grumbled a curse under his breath, hissing down the phone as the desks around him started to fill up. "Whatever wisecracks you want to make, fine, but if this news gets back to the Cooperation, I'll know who to blame."

"Don't worry, brother, I'm not going to say anything when she agrees. But then, in my best man duties, I'm going to plan you the best bachelor party money can buy. How long has it been since we've visited Sunspear?"

"Not long..." Jaime's reply was cut off by the insistent ringing of his desk phone, the near call to arms sending the gathered group of junior journalists into a flurry of activity. "I've got to go, something is happening here. I'll...see you later."

"Count on it. And Jaime, don't worry. The way I see it, there's more chance of the seven hells freezing over then there is of Brienne not wanting the same thing you do."

He wanted to ask where that vote of confidence had come from, thinking back over all the Sunday dinners they'd had with Brienne and her housemates and how they must have shown his brother something no one else had seen as yet, but Tyrion had hung up without a further word of farewell. There were too many things to be done on graduation day before the big event, he knew, despite the fact that he wouldn't have attended his own if the two people he trusted the most hadn't made him go. Though, as Jaime answered his godsforsaken phone and wished he'd had the foresight to take a couple of days leave, for the first time since he'd left his apartment that morning, he could feel a smile twitching along his lips.

Everything was going to be more than okay.

*******

*******

Almost in spite of how Jaime's affectionate wakeup call had made Brienne want to linger in bed until the exact moment she was needed, the day had dawned as bright and as warm as they had seen all summer and she'd soon been dragged from restful daydreams into a circus of preparatory efforts. Shifting in her foldaway seat several hours later, as the PA system finally flickered into life, feeling uncomfortably out of her depth after being prodded and primped, she listened to Sam and Sansa talk excitedly about the upcoming graduation ball. With her nerves bubbling away, she started to pick at the hem of the denim shirt dress her friends had kindly picked out for her, sweeping her gaze around the near full marquee in order to catch Margaery's eye.

Doing little to ease her concerns, Margaery only flashed a smile before ducking her elegantly coiffed head to scribble another last minute adjustment to the valedictorian speech. Passing the cue cards back a moment later with an increasingly knowing grin, Brienne struggled to find the words needed to question or protest the message being placed in her hands.

_'Don't look now’,_ Margaery's neatly looped cursive read as it dipped in and out of reminders about learning and friendship and futures. _'But it appears you have an admirer.'_

Shifting and shuffling in her seat once again as a rush of warmth ran from nose to toes, Brienne turned to survey the space for a second time, deflecting her dad's proud smile while returning Jeyne's enthusiastic wave. Both actions were stopped dead in their tracks, however, by the sight that greeted her from near the entrance of the temporary structure, by the man who had snuck in after the rest of the guests had been seated.

Leaning against one of the pillars holding up the cloth roof, the sun now blazing behind him, it was clear Jaime must have missed the chance for a seat, but he couldn't care less, if the wink he sent her meant anything. It had taken some time but Brienne was no longer surprised to find he only had eyes for her, despite looking so gorgeous in the navy blue suit he'd worn to her father's wedding he was attracting attention from all corners. She couldn't help but notice a strain in his actions, as if Jaime had allowed concern or nerves to gnaw away at his normal assured arrogance and could only hope that it was just another side effect of her involvement in the ceremony rather than anything she would also have to worry about long term.

The thought thankfully lasted no more than a few fleeting seconds as his grin widened into genuine happiness and she breathed a heavy sigh of relief, unable to fake or moderate her reactions when Jaime looked at her like she was so much more than the sum of her ugly, awkward parts. For the first time in a long while, Brienne allowed herself to play with him in return, her weak attempts at flirting little more than snatching glances before he could catch her staring and repeating the cycle. She eventually had to concede defeat, though, when he began to mouth filthy things that were half way between embarrassing and arousing, and in no way appropriate for such a public setting.

As he laughed soundlessly and reiterated three words that always made her heart race, Brienne was struck by the idea that she couldn't imagine Jaime not being a part of her life. She had enjoyed going home from classes over the past few months and finding him curled up like a big cat on her sofa, just waiting so they could spend a few hours together before their worlds diverged again. Between his job and her education, they had talked about moving in together more and more, especially now that their respective leases were coming to an end. And although a part of her wanted nothing more than to make coming home to Jaime a permanent thing, there was another, smaller, part that was concerned about rushing into anything just because of a perceived lack of time. They had fallen into too much, too soon before, after all. And just as she knew that they had already made a true commitment to each other back when their honeymoon phase had faded, Brienne couldn't quite push away the last niggling doubts that kept her from telling Jaime that he made her believe that white picket fences and happily ever afters were a possibility for them.

It took a gently aimed elbow to bring her back from a more romantic state of mind as her line was called, Margaery slipping out of order and staying at her side to clap and cheer as Sansa shook hands with the Dean. And then, Brienne was too focused on putting one foot in front of the other to give her full attention on what was going on around her. She could hear her dad's voice, though, embarrassingly loud, could see Sansa stop before she reached her seat to join in, could feel Jaime's eyes following her to the podium, and she was almost overwhelmed by how much love there was in the air, love she had never expected to find or to come to rely on.

Somehow she made it back down the steps, diploma in hand, without tripping, Sansa hugging her well before they could be ushered towards their empty seats with tears glistening in her eyes. "Promise me that we'll still be friends this time next year," she demanded gently, succumbing to emotion and the very real fear that classes and exams were the only things keeping the three of them close.

"How can you even ask that?" Margaery laughed disbelieving from over Brienne's shoulder. "I'm not letting either of you break up with us. We're going to be like Grandmother and her bridge ladies. They all met in college about five hundred years ago."

Sansa sniffled into a soft smile as Brienne shushed them both, linking arms with her friends before the frowning, gowned woman at the side of the stage could complain. "Plus," Margaery continued boldly, dropping her voice to avoid the rest of their classmates eavesdropping. "We're going to set a new trend next year when we're the joint maid of honour at Brie's wedding."

"What?" the two younger girls cried in unison, Brienne cursing every power known to the gods and man as her gaze unconsciously flitted to Jaime at the not entirely unpleasant thought.

"I've been proposed to three times, remember? I know about these things."

"Sansa asking you to marry her because you've brought early morning coffee doesn't count," Brienne pointed out in a whisper, trying to deflect attention as she aimed the conversation away from a potential future and back to Margaery's self-confessed wealth of experience. "And neither does Renly."

"Speak of the devil," Sansa muttered, cocking her head to indicate where Renly and Margaery's youngest brother, Loras, had just crept in, making an appearance far later than even Jaime and looking all the more dishevelled for it.

"Seriously? Here?" Margaery rolled her eyes at the sight, good-natured, though not without an air of sisterly irritation. "I should probably go and amuse Grandmother before she sees the state they're in and we all get into trouble."

"But..." Sansa started.

"This will only take a minute, sweetie, I know my brother far better than he thinks I do. I'll be back for Brie's amazing speech, promise."

"It'll be fine," Brienne reassured Sansa, walking with her back to their seats, arms still linked as they watched Margaery put herself in the middle of the budding Tyrell drama. And, all things considered, it was. Even if, when it came time for her speech, Brienne's hands were shaking so much that she had to rest the cue cards on the podium in order to centre herself before speaking. But, once she started, her anecdote on unbreakable freshmen friendships scattering a series of smiles across the crowd like the first rays of sunlight on a morning, the words seemed to flow far more naturally than the stoic sentences placed in front of her. It felt right to be aiming her sentiments towards the people who had been there for her the most over the past four years, allowing them to encourage her through tales of losing sleep over midterms, experimental cookery and love found in the strangest of places, rather than nervously focusing on the sea of unknown relatives and well-wishers.

Her dad was nearly in tears before she came to an end, while Margaery and Sansa had been on their feet from the start, stamping and hollering in their dangerously high heels. And Jaime hadn't stopped grinning as if he couldn't believe his luck, nodding smugly when she mentioned how they had all altered the course of their lives in ways they would have never expected just by stepping onto campus that first time and how much they were going to take away from the whole experience. Her last few words were, unsurprisingly, choked up, wishing her class good luck before ducking her head as if that could prevent the feelings she'd been swallowing down from rising up again, heartfelt and out of control.

It was Jaime who was there to greet her off the stage that time, offering his hand like he was asking her to dance, bringing to mind all his easy jokes and barbed remarks each time they'd waltzed around the university gym with fencing blades in hand, sharing in the painfully slow realisation that every awkward circle had cemented their bond. Brienne stepped onto the grass and into his opening arms in one easy movement, Jaime wasting no time in kissing her full and hard as he pulled her behind another cloth covered pillar, hiding them from view. She could feel herself burning up as his hands briefly roamed under the blue and gold gown, her own preoccupied with running through his messy hair, closing her eyes while he nuzzled into the curve of her neck. A wave of contentment washed over her and Brienne finally felt like she could relax.

"Gods," Jaime breathed, surfacing only far enough to whisper in her ear, tightening his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "How did you make that sound sexy?"

"I did not."

"It was your love letter to this place and all of us. It was godsdamn sexy." His second kiss was so swift and sweet, Brienne immediately turned her head for another, Jaime's sudden burst of laughter muffled as it became a murmur of delight that she could taste on her tongue.

"I have something to show you," he confessed as they pulled away just far enough to allow her breath to rustle the wild waves of hair that had fallen across his forehead.

"Now?" Brienne frowned, glancing down to where his hips remained flush against her own. Maybe it was just the hint of change that had gotten under his skin, or maybe it was just Jaime and his need for physical affection, for reassurance, to remind her that she was loved and desired and needed, but she knew, whatever it was, she couldn't give in so easily. "Can't it wait?"

If she hadn't known better, Brienne would have said a flicker of nervousness had passed across his features as she stared, adding to the strangely changeable mood Jaime seemed to be in. "Don't worry," he laughed lowly, squeezing her hand. "I'm not planning on ruining your day. Or avoiding my father forever, before you ask. As long as I show you before dinner."

"Jaime?"

"Trust me."

"I do." There was nothing else she could, or wanted, to say. "Of course I do."

Jaime dropped his head to her shoulder and she thought she could hear him exhale, too concerned to enjoy the moment. "I'm starving," he announced as he released her, visibly brightening before her eyes.

"Me too," she smiled in return.

"BLT?"

"Gods, yes."

Jaime raised an eyebrow, unable to control the corner of his lips from quirking. "You've been saying that a lot to me today."

"Shut up."

"Never," he taunted from over his shoulder, already on the hunt for their late lunch, leaving her to make her way back to her friends on her own.

Though it might have been the last thing she needed then, there was a glass of champagne pressed into her hand as soon as Brienne reached the end of the final row of students.

"You did so well!" Sansa crowed as they all untangled from another hug. "I loved that line about how this place lets you 'sift your realities from the sand of dreams' and you just know my mom is so going to quote that next year."

"She’s got better people to quote than me, Sansa. Nobody's going to want to hear-"

"Of course they will," Sansa insisted. "She wouldn't ever admit it, but she's devastated that you're not going to stay and work with her on her new research project."

"Don't," Brienne warned, glancing away from her friend's widening eyes and inquisitively pleading look to notice that Jaime was now stacking a plate at the buffet table. She shook her head as her stomach growled threateningly, getting caught up over how Catelyn wanted her to continue with her studies as much as Brienne wanted to spread her wings, at least for a little while. Besides, the museum was busy putting the finishing touches to their new education programme, and they had already offered her a full time position to help with the day to day running of it. The university would still be there in a couple of years, if she wanted to return. "If you're still worried about me moving away, I won't. I can't. My job is here, Jaime's job is here. Once you get settled, you can even suggest bringing your kindergarteners to see me at work."

"You're right," Margaery agreed as she re-filled glasses, though Brienne had barely sipped hers. "Both of you. Not about school," she sighed as Sansa huffed. "Well, maybe about school since I'm outnumbered by trainee educators. But definitely about everything else. Now drink up."

The bubbles tickled the back of her dry throat as Brienne swallowed, trying desperately not to spill any of the expensive vintage as Jaime re-appeared by her side with his brother and two heavily laden plates in tow.

"Just how many people are you planning to feed?" Margaery blurted out as Brienne quickly engrossed herself in demolishing the first neatly stacked pile of sandwiches, Jaime less than half a mouthful behind her.

"And congratulations to you, too, Miss Tyrell," Tyrion smiled as Margaery shifted her weight from side to side, holding her ground even when he held up his plate to her and Sansa. "If either of you would like something to eat, please help yourself."

"He offered to run interference so we don't have to take your drunk friends home after they've finished an entire bottle of champagne between them," Jaime quietly explained in between bites of ham and cheese.

"You don't have to..."

"He offered," Jaime reiterated as he swallowed, wrapping his temporarily free arm around her waist in a half hug. The day was warm, but he was warmer still and Brienne found herself leaning back into the embrace. "I think he's really going to miss spending time with them."

"You mean he's going to miss having a captive audience."

"I was being serious. We haven't exactly come from a friendly Sunday lunch type of family."

"So was I," she smiled as his lips brushed the side of her jaw. "You're just getting sentimental in your old age."

"Ha-ha," Jaime grumbled sarcastically. "Isn't that what all this is about, anyway?"

Brienne considered that, taking the final sandwich and watching as Margaery washed down a handful of tortilla chips with more champagne, Sansa seeming quite happy to alternate between eating and talking. Both of her friends were doing their fair share of laughing, so engrossed in Tyrion's jokes that it allowed Brienne and Jaime to escape to their own world for a time, despite standing mere feet away. "Just like having ulterior motives is a Lannister family trait, right?"

"Only sometimes," Jaime agreed evenly, giving the paper plate to a passing server so that he could occupy his fingers with running up and down her arm, burying his smile into her shoulder. "But we make up for it in our ability to traverse a good buffet. And in bed, of course."

"Of c-course," she spluttered without thinking, momentarily confused by the stretch of Margaery's smile before she noticed Sansa turning a similar colour to that on her own cheeks, clashing horribly with her red hair. "I...I think Margaery's just found a new matchmaking project."

"I don't think my brother will mind at all, he's always liked her. Though I'm not sure whether I should make popcorn or hide the drawing pins."

"Maybe we could save the popcorn for tomorrow night?"

"Mmmm," Jaime murmured and she followed his gaze to where lines of chocolate coated strawberries and bite sized cakes were being set out on the buffet table. Indicating to the trio where they were heading, she easily fell in step with a suspiciously smirking Jaime. "Are you suggesting a movie so we can make out and feel each other up in the comfort of my own home?" Her elbow connected with his ribs that time and he bounced away laughing. "I'm going to take that as a ‘yes’."

"Shut up," she hissed instinctively but, in the same breath, followed it up with something softer just as Jaime passed her a second plate primarily made up of her favourite chocolate brownie squares. "My dad's going to want to take a lot of photos, but we can go after that. I mean, if you still want to. Dinner's not going to be until seven-thirty."

"You just can't wait to..."

"Brienne!" A familiar voice boomed from somewhere behind her, authoritative enough to stop Jaime for a moment.

"Shit," Jaime muttered under his breath, Brienne reaching for his hand before she could stop herself as his muscles visibly tensed. His responding weak smile was more a promise than anything else.

"I think now would be a good time to see if my Aunt wants to talk to her favourite nephew."

"But Tyrion is over there."

Jaime pouted teasingly. "Don't let her talk you into doing anything you haven't already decided on. You know where you're needed," he finally told her, fluttering his eyelashes until she opened her mouth in silent protest. "The children, my love, the children need you."

She sighed and turned around, rather than being pulled into the gentle play of her boyfriend. "Catelyn," Brienne greeted. "How are you?"

"Well, the project is keeping me busy, and the children," Catelyn explained, Brienne only half listening as she watched Jaime walk to where her father and his aunt had been deep in conversation in the second row of guest seating. Letting go of a held breath while he shook hands with Selwyn, she alternated her attentions between small talk with her former dissertation advisor and the confusingly delighted gathering of two families. "...will you and the girls be going back to Tarth this summer?"

"I think so," she replied, awkwardly avoiding the growing elephant in the room. "Maybe just a week this time though, my dad's house isn't so big that the three of us can go unnoticed."

Catelyn nodded, finally working through the sugar coated pleasantries and launching into what sounded suspiciously like sales patter. "It would be amiss of me not to remind you that the world isn't always kind to those of us who think we know what we want. And, making choices based on what could be, can be limiting. I know you-"

"No, you don't, not really," Brienne found herself saying. No matter what others might have assumed, she wasn't naive enough to think that her choices wouldn't be subject to stares and speculation but her determined dreams weren't so easily swayed by Jaime's words and hands and eyes, despite what Catelyn thought of his public displays of affection. And though Brienne pushed back each suggestion as reasonably as she could, her confidence started to waiver under the professor's ever critical eye, locked in a war of wills neither could win when they were so opposed to the other's viewpoint. In the end, it was Sansa who managed to break the stalemate under the graduation tent, guiding them all back towards family members who were hoping to spend more time with their loved ones before they had to return home.

"I'm so sorry," Brienne apologised to no one in particular, Catelyn's frown at being hurried away to where her younger children were threatening to start a food fight lingering like an echo, though she didn't hesitate at letting her dad wrap her up in a bear hug that almost took her feet off the ground, Selwyn overflowing with so much contagious jubilation that Jaime and Jeyne were quickly wearing matching grins. "I should have..."

"There's really no need," Jeyne insisted as she stood up to offer Brienne a gentler congratulatory embrace. "You being in demand today has just given Jaime an opportunity to fill us in on what's been happening since we last saw you both."

"I was ambushed." Jaime held his hands up as Brienne narrowed her eyes slightly, intrigued to what he could have shared that she hadn't already mentioned during one of her regularly scheduled phone calls home.

"Sure." She rolled her eyes as he childishly stuck out his tongue. "I bet he didn't tell you we were looking forward to dinner tonight."

"Of course I did," he nodded to Selwyn, shuffling up the row of seats to give her room to rest, habit bringing his arm around her waist and his lips to her cheek. Brienne could just about hear Jeyne's sigh of second-hand sweetness, the same noise she'd come to associate with Sansa and Margaery whenever the girls had come across them relaxed in each other's company, comfortable and romantic. "They're supposed to have the best steaks in the Crownlands."

"How did you have time this morning to read reviews?"

"I'm a researcher, sweetling, that's what I do."

She was just about to reply when she caught sight of the camera bag on her dad's chair, realising that he was being more than polite in listening to them bicker through their queries. "Would you like to take some photos in here, Dad, or outside in the courtyard?"

He smiled down at her, genuinely impressed that she'd asked. "I did take some earlier, when you were getting your degree and during your speech, but I wouldn't mind a few more."

"Okay." Brienne futilely tried to smooth down her gown, stretching her legs as she clambered out of the, now unorganised, seating without any semblance of grace. The school colours contrasted well with the white backdrop of the marquee, the yellow roses in the centre pieces, the artificially enhanced green grass, and she patiently moved around the emptying space, as instructed, attempting to look like the added attention wasn't making her feel even more out of place.

It seemed like an age, though likely no more than fifteen or twenty minutes, had passed before her dad suggested Jaime join her for the last few pictures, her raised eyebrows persuading him to add that, other than those from Christmas, there were few of the two of them together. Though a little thing, she truly appreciated the gesture, Selwyn in particular going out of his way to include her boyfriend, especially on a day where his own family were few and far between and nowhere near as accepting.

And by the time she was thinking about bringing up leaving, her dad was one step ahead of her, understanding that it had already been a long day and she might need an hour or so to nap and shower and change before dinner.

"You know, considering how painless that all was, I kind of wish your family was right on our doorstep and mine was only reachable by boat," Jaime confessed as they strolled into the blazing afternoon sun, waves and hugs and promises made, the campus looking like it had been bathed in a serene, golden glow. "Though, I'm not sure if they'd appreciate me bringing Tyrion along for Christmas."

Brienne swallowed a bark of laughter. "The island wouldn't know what had hit it," she agreed, chewing on her lip in thought. "Maybe, I mean if we're settled and everyone wants to and..."

"Do I need to come over there and help you to spit out whatever's tied your tongue?"

"Not here. I just meant we could have a dinner at ours this year. For Christmas Eve or at New Year, maybe."

They came to a natural halt outside the red brick building where she had to return her robe before they could truly depart and Jaime turned to face her with a smile that stretched from ear to ear. "Christmas pizza or turkey sandwiches?"

She matched his smile without thinking. "Either...both."

"Come on then," he inclined his head towards the gilded graduation signage, his mood too good to falter. "We haven't got all night."

"I'll be back in a minute," she promised, reaching down to strip off the gown, the dress riding up her thighs with a tell-tale tingle of self-consciousness. The laughter in his voice trailed her steps, echoing down the corridor.

"At least wait until we get to the car!"

To Brienne's great surprise, considering his current inability to stop touching her, Jaime wasn't all hands and lips after she'd climbed into the passenger seat and closed the door of his flashy coupe, the sports car they'd escaped Casterly in having long been sold onto a collector. In fact, he did little more than absently squeeze her knee while turning the engine over, briefly running his palm up her thigh as they waited for a path out of the parking lot to clear before returning his hands to the steering wheel, tapping along to the repetitive beat trickling out of the speakers all around them.

"You're still not going to tell me where you're taking me?" she broke their settled silence a few minutes later as he seemed to purposely speed past the exit that would have taken them back to his apartment building, a spike of unease furrowing her brow. "Jaime?"

"That would spoil the surprise. You'll just have to trust me a little longer."

"What surprise?"

"I haven't given you your graduation gift yet."

Turning to watch the metropolitan of greys and browns become suburban greens and beiges, Brienne huffed out a sigh, starting to worry that, in his over exuberance, and possibly with the help of her friends, Jaime had gone past the point of sense. However, knowing that talking him out of whatever had been put in motion would be close to impossible now, she sighed again, resting her forehead against the window until something in the scenery caused her to forget the resigned irritation flooding her veins.

"You're taking me to Memorial Park," she announced, their most recent visit still fresh in her memory. An entire morning had been spent racing each down the more abandoned trails and refuelling with overflowing beef Reubens and chocolate chip ice cream.

"Not quite," he offered in return. "But you're getting warmer."

With her interest piqued, more familiar and pleasant sights shot by as she tried to catch and memorize them all. "Oh...that's..."

"What?"

"I...I just love it around here."

Jaime smiled again, taking his eyes off the road to give her a second to appreciate the full effect, the dimpling of his cheeks making her sure he was hiding something major. "I know."

"Jaime..."

"Before you ask, I'm still too hungry to be late for dinner so we won't be. It isn't much further."

"This had better be good," she grumbled half-heartedly as they obediently paused in front of a stop sign.

"When have I ever let you down?" he purred, and Brienne did not need to see him to feel the increasing proximity of his body, the momentary delay in their journey giving Jaime a chance to lean over and suckle maddeningly close to her ear.

With a great deal of effort, she pulled away and raised an eyebrow, her blurred reflection in the window staring back at her, failing at appearing indignant. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Maybe later," he laughed, risking her rising ire by brushing his lips across her burning freckles again before returning to the road, clicking on the indicator without a care in the world. "I'll be all yours."

Turning onto the first street of stunningly kept turn-of-the-century homes, Brienne attempted to keep up and even anticipate Jaime's next move but the development seemed to have been laid out by someone with little notion of sense, and after three or four turns she had to accept that she was lost. Jaime, however, appeared to know exactly where he was going. She hummed a note of confused displeasure and he only coughed out another giddy laugh.

"What?" she snapped.

"You'll see," he replied, slowing to a crawl along the curb and tapping the breaks in front of an ivy clad, semi-detached house with a dark blue door almost the same colour of the waters surrounding Tarth.

"I'm sorry," Brienne admitted evenly, despite having grown tired of the game several minutes earlier, glancing between the inviting vegetable garden and his pleased face. "I have no clue where we are."

"This house belongs to a woman who works with my Uncle Kevan in the state department," Jaime told her, sounding like he was in trouble of losing control of the emotions cracking in between his words.

"Okay," she slowly humoured him, unspoken questions hanging in the stale, recycled air between them.

"We're here because she's being seconded to Yi Ti in July for a couple of years and she wanted a young professional to rent the place while she's gone."

"No."

"My Uncle suggested that we might like to..."

"It's ours?" Brienne heard her voice shoot up an octave but could do little to stop it, her heart becoming equally active, leaping into her throat to pound with something approaching anticipation. "No. Jaime, we couldn't possible afford to stay here."

"We can," Jaime promised, his eyes flicking up to stare at her forehead as if he could see her thoughts written there. "I had Tyrion run the numbers. Twice. Do you know the university charges you more for staying within a certain boundary?" She shook her head, still processing what he had done and the secret he'd managed to keep, wondering again who else had been in on the surprise, not knowing whether to be angry or excited at the possibility being presented.

"Besides, I didn't know what else to get you for graduation. There are only so many books you can stack up before those shelves explode," Jaime finished with a flourish, retrieving a set of keys from his pocket and placing them on the dashboard. "So...do you want to take a look around?"

"You know you didn't need to do this," she told him hesitantly. "You didn't need to do anything more today."

"The opportunity fell into my lap and it was too good to pass on," Jaime shrugged. "Do you really want to be living apart again next year?"

"No." The word was little more than a whisper, an affirmation escaping in her exhale, but she doubted he would have asked if he hadn't already known the answer. Reaching for the keys, the light catching a small cluster of blue and silver beads hanging off the chain, her fingers threaded through Jaime's as he caught her hand in the no man’s land that existed between the seats. "I just wish I'd been involved from the start."

"But that would have spoiled the surprise."

"Good. I hate surprises."

"It's just a viewing, wench, I had enough sense not to sign anything. If we don't like it, we can just go home and fuck away the next forty five minutes, okay?"

Brienne set her jaw at the recurrence of an old nickname, trying to ignore the suggestion, but unbuckled her seat belt all the same. "Okay."

*******

Jaime followed her into the house, his pulse starting to speed as he watched how the keys hung from her fingertips, bouncing with each steady step she took, completely oblivious to what she was holding onto. The waiting was like a slow suffocation, every time Brienne had looked at him or he had felt the urge to touch her, all he'd wanted to do was blurt everything out.

The inside of the house was new to him too, he had only driven past a couple of times in the last week to work out their respective commutes, but it was pleasantly clean and modern and crying out to be filled with memories. Brienne was keeping her thoughts to herself, but every now and again, he could see something catch her eye. And as he stared, he could imagine the fire roaring in the background during long winter months, the pair of them making a mess of the expensively organised kitchen, the comfort of coming home to Brienne every night.

"Whatever furniture isn't wanted will go into storage," he explained, just so that the room wasn't so quiet, watching her fingers skim along the polished mahogany surface of the dining table.

She snatched back her hand as if she had been doing something wrong, the jerky movement causing the keys she'd stuffed in one of the dress' practical pockets to come close to spilling out. Jaime closed his eyes as she pushed them away again, clenching his fists while she had a small part of their future resting in her palm.

"I thought it would feel too big with just the two of us in here," Brienne admitted as they moved out of the kitchen. "But it feels like..."

"Home?" Jaime interrupted, the hopeful lilt in his voice unmistakable.

She smiled. "We should go upstairs."

"Why, wench, I do believe that you're trying to proposition me." The joke was nothing more than a reflex, his impatience rising to the surface and causing him to fizz with a nervous tension.

"Maybe when we get our bed in here, you can talk about propositions," her voice trailed down from the second floor, confirming that her mind had been made up only a few moments after his own. Without another thought, Jaime bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time and sliding to a graceful standstill outside the blue and cream master bedroom.

She was sitting on the padded window seat when he pushed open the door wide enough to take in the whole room, her face so pale that her freckles had blanched out to barely recognisable small pops of colour. He started to say her name, concern overriding the gauntlet of feelings he'd been running throughout the day, but the sight of her cradling the sapphire and diamond cluster sent his thoughts scrambling to keep up.

"I didn't mean to drop the keys," Brienne began, pausing to breathe and gather herself again. "I thought it was a novelty. Something fun." She didn't look at him, though he could sense the tears prickling behind her eyelids, almost beading in her lashes.

With a silent curse directed at his brother, _this wasn't the way it was supposed to go_ , Jaime tried again. "Brienne..."

"It's too much. It's all too much. I never expected to have the opportunity to want something like this. The way I look, I...I didn't grow up thinking I would fall in love with someone who loved me back just as much. But I have. I do. I can't...I want...Jaime?" The final word was a plea, lifting her head as it left her lips.

She looked so vulnerable in that moment, it took no time at all before he was across the room with her in his arms. Comfort remained a relatively new subject to Jaime, but he'd learned it was just enough to rock her gently, as if there was music only the two of them could hear, keeping a tight hold.

"I did want to do this properly," he told the top of her head as Brienne's snuffling breaths eased. "On one knee with a big speech about love and honour. You may be thinking that you already beat me out on the speech front today, but mine was going to be the best thing you'd ever heard."

Her laughter was muffled and slightly damp around the edges. "It's...it's just a lot to take in. I do...want you, I mean this...everything." Jaime heard her draw another breath, her shoulders rising and relaxing. "Ask me."

"What?"

"Ask me, please?"

It was his turn to need a moment to remember how to breathe, slipping off the window seat and onto his knees, looking up and finding himself locked into the familiar feeling of drowning in her brilliantly blue eyes. "You know, when we first met, I considered you loyal and honourable to a fault, judgemental but naive and compassionate, all the things I had tried to forget existed in the world. And the longer we spent together, the more you got under my skin and the more I wanted to win to push you away somewhere you couldn't get my blood up." He paused to take the keys out of her hand, deftly unwinding the ring from its binding chain. "But somehow we became friends. More than friends. I think I was half in love with you the first time we slept beside each other, hopeless by the time we made out, and, I know we're not always going to see eye to eye, but this last year has shown how good we are together. So, Brienne Tarth, my love, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

He watched her press her lips together, her eyes shining like the moon was being reflected in their shimmering midnight depths, nodding as she blinked. His heart soaring, he couldn't help but tease her into a reprise. "I didn't hear that, sweetling."

Brienne pushed him away. "It's a good job there's enough space in my heart to put up with you and your romantic sentimentality for the next fifty or so years."

"I'm still not hearing the magic word."

"Yes," she ran a hand through her hair. "Of course it's a 'yes', you idiot."

Jaime rose back onto to his knees just as she started to lean down to meet him half way, the strange angle causing her to dwarf him while their lips connected softly, arms around shoulders and waists, the fires of passion dampened momentarily by the shared thrill of seeing things falling into place.

"You're supposed to let me put the ring on now," he murmured as they came up for air, her lips ripening to a succulent strawberry before his eyes.

"I don't need the ring."

"But you have it so, you should wear it. I'm told it's a perk of swearing to the seven that 'I am yours and you are mine’." Brienne shot him a look that told Jaime exactly what she thought of such a thing being referred to as a perk, but she offered her hand nevertheless. "If it would help, you could always go to a jewellers before the wedding and buy me something that would let the world know we belong to each other."

"I'd be happy to do that," she agreed, wincing as he tried to push the ring over her second knuckle. "Jaime, I don't think this is going to..."

"Shit." The ring had been his mother's, and her mother's before that, though he couldn't remember ever seeing either of them wear it. He knew they would have loved how happy Brienne made him. And, somewhere in his haste to make sure he was touching on his past, present, and future with Brienne in his proposal, he'd forgotten to check a detail. "That wasn't supposed to happen either. Sorry."

"It's okay, seriously, it's okay," she soothed, her hands coming up to cradle his face, palms pressed to his jaw. "It's so pretty and dainty, maybe..."

"No," he growled, possessively locking his arms back around her waist and pulling Brienne down to join him on the floor, the sudden movement ending with her straddling his lap. "We'll get it resized," Jaime promised, her lips looking too inviting to leave alone for long. It didn't take more than a few deepening kisses, instinct and experience starting to rock her hips, to drive him to distraction, wondering how easy it would be to make love to her, his future wife, on the floor of their future bedroom. "Tomorrow," he gasped out the word while Brienne mouthed at his jaw, feeling hopeful that she would lose control just enough to leave a few marks behind, her breath warm in his ear.

"Before anyone else can see this place, you should probably call the owner and get the paperwork ready for us to sign." She moaned as his hands ran up and down her thighs. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Jaime repeated, watching as she pulled out a fine silver necklace from under her dress, one she rarely wore, although her dad had given it to her as a teenager, and added the ring to the tiny seaside charms already hanging from it. "Tomorrow I'm thinking about you wearing nothing but that ring."

She tried to glare but the effort was lost by the corners of her lips rising, serious consideration happening in her head. "Come on, we better go before someone walks in on us."

Jaime laughed at her evaluation of the situation, she could read him better than he'd ever expected, Brienne dusting down her reddened knees before helping him to his feet. "If you want to look at anything else, now would be the time."

She shook her head. "Three bedrooms, one bathroom, if we want to make changes we'll just change it back when we move out."

"Yes, ma'am," he smiled, dropping the keys back into her palm. "Lock up while I'm on the phone?"

By the time he'd carefully traversed the staircase, keeping one eye on Tyrion's series of smugly supportive messages and the other on the carpet beneath his feet, Brienne had completed another circuit of the rooms. Jaime made a mental note to ask for the table to stay as he heard the front door close behind him.

The agent didn't seem surprised or put off by Jaime's exuberance, promising him it wouldn't be a problem to have them moved in by the end of the month. To the sound of the door locking, Jaime confirmed a time to meet to agree to the arrangements and hung up to find Brienne staring intently out into the street.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just, it's even got a white picket fence. I didn't notice it on the way in."

"So it does," Jaime reached for her hand, falling into step alongside each other as they walked down the winding path. He paused by his car to take one last look up at the house, for now, glancing over to a beaming Brienne and squeezing her hand in reply. They'd be back soon enough to start the next phase of their lives together but tonight they had more than one reason to celebrate.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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